NationStates Jolt Archive

After dozens of threats from The Constitutional Monarchy of Raymuna to overtake the small, simple nation of Boom Tiki-Tiki Ha Ha, Grand Lord Boom Tiki-Tiki has taken action, proclaiming war against The Constitutional Monarchy of Raymuna, though the chance of victory is slim.
--Present Day--
General Gransh-Ha-Lee enters Lord Boom Tiki-Tiki's chambers, walking with hesitation and fear. Not many have entered Lord Boom Tiki-Tiki's chambersm, even less returned. Of course this was just a tale told to Gransh-Ha-Lee since he was a child. Now, a 744-moons-old man (Everytime a new cycle of the moon happened), Gransh-Ha-Lee began to wonder how old Boom Tiki-Tiki was. He never was seen by the people of Boom Tiki-Tiki Ha Ha. Gransh-Ha-Lee began to wonder if the name of Boom Tiki-Tiki was just a title given to the great Boom-Tiki family, and was passed down from generation to generation. Because Gransh-Ha-Lee never heard of Boom-Tiki-Tiki's death, though he was much, much older than Gransh-Ha-Lee, and that was certainly saying something.
Gransh-Ha-Lee knocked on the 12-foot high reed doors standing before him, obviously the knock wasn't as loud as a wooden door, but it was enough to be heard. The doors slowly opened, and sitting on a giant throne, was a tall, wide, ancient, and wise looking man. Boom Tiki-Tiki. Gransh-Ha-Lee gasped and instantly dropped to a knee, bowing his head in honor. Linking his two ring fingers together and making his index fingers into a cone-shape, placing this hand gesture under his chin. This was the sacred prayer that Tikians were told to do when in front of any being more powerful or more wise than them, until they were told to rise.
After four or five large wheezes, Lord Boom Tiki-Tiki opened his large jaw and uttered the words, "At ease."
Gransh-Ha-Lee obeyed Boom Tiki-Tiki and stood to his feet. He spoke hard English, that was hard to decipher at first, like every other Tikian." "Hello my lord," Gransh-Ha-Lee muttered, "It great honor to be in your presence."
Boom Tiki-Tiki showed no facial expressions as he said, "Thank you. Why have you come before Boom Tiki-Tiki? Good news is brought?"
Gransh-Ha-Lee shakes his head, then hangs it low, "The Raymunan Army has captured small villages on the outskirts of the Village of Taha. We have placed our strongest of men on the battlefront, but we are unsure if even that will take out the great Military we are facing."
Boom Tiki-Tiki frowns and stares out the extremely small window to his left. The worst is feared as the Raymunan Army approaches The Village of Taha.

Raymuna was a huge nation, and very prone to military actions. The threats against the small nation of Boom Tiki-Tiki Ha Ha was not unusual. King Raymond had that mindset of all other kings before his time, IMPERIALISM! The threat was immediately followed up by a massive military mobilization, and not very long after Boom Tiki-Tiki Ha Ha was being invaded by the massive Raymunan army.

The Battle of Taha

High General Victor Delmont stood in triumph in what would be known or called as the "Ha Ha" Hall which was the town hall. General Delmont had every right to be gloating over his victory. He had secured a proper beachhead on the small nation. It took but twenty minutes to secure it. Then he ordered his armies to advance on Taha Village. The brilliant blitzkrieg techniques that the Raymunan army had adopted proved effective against the inferior techniques in which the Tikians used. Raymuna hadn't lost a single tank yet! You can still hear the chatter of gun fire in the distance. Taha was an easy victory. The reed door of the hall swung open, and in came a scout with an arrow stuck to his kevlar. The scout hadn't even noticed it. The general smirked, and removed the weak arrow from the armor of the scout.

General Delmont questioned the scout, "Report?"

The scout quickly iterated a sentence in response, "Sir, the Tikians are trying to reqroup and stage a counterattack. They deployed what intel suggests are their elite warriors. They are using more advanced weapons, but nothing that shoots lead."

Delmont laughed at such "advanced" weapons, "Alright private, I shall order the advance on the next village where the Tikians are regrouping. I want EVERY thing destroyed in that village. NOTHING is left standing, I want to make a statement to that cannnibal in their capital city."

The scout laughs and responds, "Uh sir, aren't they all cannibals?"

The joke would be somewhat stale to anyone else, or even to the Tikians themselves. But that was the joke back in Raymuna, the whole WAR was a joke to Raymuna. No matter what, this war was going to be bloody, to both sides.

As the armies advanced upon the small village in which the Tikians were regrouping. First the artillery shattered the weak foundations of the village shacks. Blood gurgling screams sounded throughout the village as the artillery struck it. As the smoke rose there was nothing left, nothing at all. As the infantry and tank brigade moved in, a guerilla attack sprung from the west. Arrows lift on fire were shot from the trees, and shot with accuracy. This wasn't the normal tactics that the Tikians were using. This had to have been the elite warriors. The Raymunan infantry was being slaughtered, and desperation was taking over. The infantry commanders ordered the retreat, but that didn't go for the tank brigade. The tanks simply turned it's turrets 90 degrees toward the west. The tanks matched the Tikians attack, but with very explosive rounds. The trees in which the Tikians were hiding in were being fully exterminated. In five short minutes the forest that once gave beauty to that part of the land was destroyed, as with the Tikian warriors. The infantry moved up to the decimated village, and secured the area. The bloodshed wasn't over......

The Ankhmeti Red Army would like to offer the use of the 200,000 men and 50,000 T-80 tanks of the Red Army 1st Assault Division to help turn the tide against the Imperialist forces of Raymuna, with a furrther offer to any other help needed to crush this nation of Imperialist Fascist backwards scum.

Ankhmet is also fully willing to lauch an offensive against the Raymunan homeland in an effort to divert resources from the slaughter of the people of your nation. In addition, we would like to offer you a gift of modern weapons and training in their use, as well as up to date guerilla warfare tactics that would best suit your people.

OOC: It's just a fun war between me and my brother
General Gransh-Ha-Lee enters Boom Tiki-Tiki's chambers again, looking around with less fear this time. He approaches the reed doors and knocks on it three times. The reed doors slowly open, as if it was the same old routine. Boom Tiki-Tiki smiles at the sight of Gransh-Ha-Lee, "Good news is brought?"
Gransh-Ha-Lee puts a small smirk upon his face, "Good and bad news, my lord."
Boom Tiki-Tiki frowns, "I would like to hear the bad news first, for I will hear excellent news after saddening news..."
Gransh-Ha-Lee sighs, "They have destroyed the Forest of Sha. Leaving nothing but the mangled and dead bodies of our men."
Boom Tiki-Tiki clenches his heart, a tear dropping from his big, weary eye, "That forest was my home..."
Gransh-Ha-Lee puts a slight smile on his face, "But the good news is, those men did not die in vein. For before the enemy tanks destroyed them and the forest, our men killed an estimated 70 of their men."
Boom Tiki-Tiki looks out his small window, hoping the war won't last long. His wishes would not come true.
The Battle of Sha
Colonel Tree-Hel-Leck stands over the hillside, near the once great forest. With hundreds of Tikian soldiers behind him. Anger fills his heart as he orders an onward march, to attempt a sneak attack on the Raymunan army. Tree-Hel-Leck seperates the infantry into sections, one section takes the west, one takes the south, one takes the east, and the last one takes the north. Tree-Hel-Leck was with the North section, giving those troops the highest chance of victory. Before full departure, Tree-Hel-Leck sent a telagram to Greneral Gransh-Ha-Lee in the Boom Tiki-Tiki Ha Ha capital, requesting for him to join the onslaught. It would take a week for the message to be received, and another week to receive the reply. If Gransh-Ha-Lee accepted, it would take him a week to arrive. So it would be a maximum of three weeks before Gransh-Ha-Lee arrived, if he would.
The squad that was too attack from the west stayed stationary, as the other squads moved in their respective directions, the east going with the south, to circle the area. The North squad took a small pathway, that allowed them to see the Raymunan army through the trees, but disabled the Raymunan army from seeing them.
Later that day, the squads were in place, except for the East, who was only a quarter mile from their destination. Instantly, the west squad shot through the trees, holding custom made swords, that could easily slice through a human, but not more powerful than the Raymunan swords. The archers began shooting their arrows from the canopy. The Raymunan army began to retreat to the east, where the east squad instantly began to attack too. Fearing defeat, they headed to the south, where the south infantry attacked from the canopies and ground. And at that instant, the North head out to the battlefield. The Raymunan Army, outnumbered greatly, and surrounded by all sides, got on the offensive. The tanks shot in random directions, but missed every time. A Tikian private kicked down the door of one of the ungaurded tanks and mounted it, firing at other tanks and Raymunan soldiers. The Tikian Private shot down the doors of the tanks, allowing the Tikian soldiers inside, to shoot out the surrounding Raymunan soldiers. General Delmont managed to escape, without a scratch. This was the Tikian's first victory over Raymuna.

Delmont retreated back into his new quarters which was the "Ha Ha" Hall. He was baffled at how the Tikians staged such an offensive upon the might of the Raymunan Army. He approached a window, and peered out of it. He saw the smoke of the last battle rising into the peaceful blue sky. Delmon didn't want that, he wanted the skies painted black with the smoke of the burning cities of Boom Tiki-Tiki Ha Ha. An extra garrison of troops were being dispatched to the area, and secured Taha once more. The small village turned into a massive fort for the Raymunan army, and would probably stay as the Raymunan center of operations. Delmont immediately ordered a group of apaches to move in, and torch the Tikian resistance. Not too long after you heard the humming of apaches in the distance, and soon after the loud sound of rudders cutting the air moved passed the village. The objective was clear, kill everything in site that even hinted Tikian.

Delmont slammed his fist on the poor structure of the building's wall, "THOSE IGNORANT SOYLENT IDIOTS WILL PAY FOR THIS! TASTE HELLFIRE, YOU CANNIBALS!

Just as Delmont proclaimed his vengeance, black smoke rose up into the sky. The apache helicopters were torching the Tikians, and destroying the Raymunan equipment in which they stole. What was once a massive Tikian army was reduced to only a small number of 100 troops scattering to get away. Everything in site was aflame. As soon as Delmont got word of the Tikian retreat, he immediately ordered the mobilization of the 2nd Raymunan Batallion, and the 2nd Tank Brigade. It took no less than ten minutes to arrive at the scene, and then the blitzkrieg type tactics commenced once again. The rest of what was known as the Tikian offensive, was CRUSHED. Colonel Tree-Hel-Leck was annhilated along with his troops. After the victory General Delmont ordered the infantry and tank brigade to capture the village of Tonsha, which was located near the once great Sha forest. It would take days to move an army through the Sha forest, but in this case it took only an hour.

In that same hour, Delmont requested that Admiral Devon Doeringer immediately crush the capital of Boom Tiki-Tiki Ha Ha with Tomahawk missiles. The Admiral agreed but with some extent, the Admiral would destroy many important installations in which the Tikians were operating from. As the missiles launched, the capital city had no idea what was about to happen to them. As the missiles hit, life in the capital city came to a sudden halt as the braced for impact. The targets in which the Raymunan army was aiming for were hit, but in the process almost two-thirds of the city was destroyed.

As the Raymunan army approached Tonsha, you saw what was identified as an attempt to group a defense. As the tanks rolled through, nothing could stop the Raymunan army from getting a little bit more than vengeance. Although the buildings were left in one piece, the whole population was rounded up, and put into what was known as an "internment camp". The priest in which ran the village was publically executed on tape, and was sent to the capital city. Tonsha was fully captured and secured in a grand total of three hours. This moved Raymuna closer to three villages in which were a necessity to capture for natural resources.

The offer is cheerfully withdrawn!

[:D]

A week after the carnage, General Gransh-Ha-Lee stands in fear outside Boom Tiki-Tiki's chambers, staring outside at the carnage that the Raymunan army has caused. General Gransh-Ha-Lee hears a horse approaching and shifts his view to the area of the sound. A messanger casually approaches Gransh-Ha-Lee and hands him a tattered envelope. The messanger does the hand prayer and wheels around, heading back. Gransh-Ha-Lee stared at the envelope, with the words "Gransh-Ha-Lee" written in a poor ink feather. Gransh-Ha-Lee opened the letter and read it thoroughly.
Dear Gransh-Ha-Lee,
Hello, old friend, in case you hadn't already guessed from my poor handwriting, this is Colonel Tree-Hel-Leck. Knowing that you don't enjoy sitting idley by and watching a war go on, I am inviting you to my squad, and to aid me in destroying the Raymunan Army. Together we will be invincible. Please send your reply with the messanger that you received this from.
Colonel Tree-Hel-Leck
Gransh-Ha-Lee wondered why the messanger left as soon as he handed Gransh-Ha-Lee the letter. But it soon became clear. Gransh-Ha-Lee had realized that the battle that caused this missle attack was the one Tree-Hel-Leck was speaking of. And Tree-Hel-Leck had been killed. Gransh-Ha-Lee's fury began to grow, as he quickly entered Boom Tiki-Tiki's chambers and knocked on the giant reed doors. They slowly opened and Boom Tiki-Tiki, said with fear, "What is the matter?"
General Gransh-Ha-Lee let out a great breath and said, "Colonel Tree-Hel-Leck has been killed! I request the only troops we have left here to attack the Raymunan invader scum!"
Boom Tiki-Tiki said nothing, but nodded. Gransh-Ha-Lee closed the reed doors and headed towards the armory, gathering everything he can. He hopped onto one of the horses and placed black paint under his eyelids. He let out his battle cry and kicked the horse's side, causing it to speed ahead, towards the Tikian base
When Gransh-Ha-Lee arrived, he hopped off the horse and entered throught he front doors. He yelled throughout the halls, causing the Tikian soldiers to stand before him. He instructed them each to grab a horse and follow him to Taha's "Ha Ha" Hall. They had but one objective, assasinate General Delmont.

General Delmont sat in his newly annointed quarters in Ha Ha Hall in Taha Village. He seemed to have no worries, after all he decimated what may be the last big army that the Tikians could muster. As he sat in his chair, with his feet propped up on the desk, he was in somewhat of a sleeping state. Then the door to his quarters swung open, and a scout moved into the room. The General didn't stir as the Scout moved to the other end of his desk.

General Delmont muttered a question with his eyes still closed, "What is it Private?"

The Scout snapped back an answer, "Sir, I have a statement from King Raymond himself!"

The General didn't move, "Ok, go ahead."

The scout answered, "Sir, King Raymond stated last night at a press conference that this war was taking too long, and was causing too much Raymunan casualties. King Raymond openly stated that he WILL relieve you of your command if you do not complete the tasks in which he put forth."

The General shot up in his chair, "WHAT ARE THESE TASKS, PRIVATE?"

The scout answered back in the same fiericity as the General, "SIR! You must take the three villages neighboring Tonsha, and you must stage a campaign in the north to take the four villages that are closest to the capital!

The General cools down some, "Understood, I shall stage a campaign in the north to capture the villages of Orinoshino, Tikiswanso, Lodonsha, and Irotiki. This campaign is going to be fierce. Those four cities are major soldier outlets, I'm sure the might of Raymuna can handle it!

Before the Scout leaves he tells the General one last thing, "Oh and sir, if you complete this task, this town hall we be renamed after you. Taha will be officially renamed New Raymuna City, and the town hall will be called Delmont Square."

The Scout leaves, and the General stands there with a large smirk on his face. The battle was guranteed in Raymuna's favor. But would other battles be the same?

After the plans were made, they were being immediately carried out. The third tank and infantry divisions that were instructed to capture the villages close to the capital immediately were being transported to their destinations. This would take at least an hour. The second tank and infantry divisions that were currently occupying Tonsha were given orders to move out on the que of reinforcements coming to protect Tonsha. Once the reinforcements were deployed, the second tank and infantry divisions moved out. There objective was crystal clear, wipe out any Tikian resistance, and keep damage to the three villages to a minimium. As the tanks rolled towards the village, carnage was going to break lose....no matter what

Conquering Southern Boom Tiki-Tiki Ha Ha

As the tanks rolled in the sky was being lit aflame it seemed caused by the massive onslaught of the Tikian arrows lit aflame. Although they were doing absolutely nothing to harm the tanks, it wasn't the tanks they were after. The Tikians used a very clever strategy. They knew that the tanks weren't going to attack the city, so the blitzkrieg techniques weren't relevant. It would be infantry against infantry. The Raymunan army kept marching on although the arrows crashed everywhere by them. Soldiers were being hit, and told to move on. The Tikians themselves were being cut down by the gunfire. The Tikians were ordered to attack head on, and they did so. The Raymunan infantry halted, and waited for the Tikians to reach them. This was the biggest mistake the Tikians could've ever done. The Raymunan infantry lead the Tikians out of the city, which meant....TANK HAPPY HOUR! As the Tikians closed in, the Raymunan infantry moved back, and allowed the tanks to have their fun. It took five minutes until the Tikians retreated with twenty warriors left standing. The tanks halted their onslaught, and allowed the infantry to move in and take the village. The Tikians regrouped inside the village, and attempted one last counterattack. Although their numbers doubled from some brave peasants, they were no match for Raymuna. They were annihilated in a matter of minutes. It took the infantry twenty minutes to secure the whole city. Reinforcements moved in, and helped secure while the second infantry moved to take the next village. As the Raymunan infantry followed the path toward the next village, they were attacked by Tikian guerilla fighters. Arrows sprung from the trees, and Tikian warriors flanked them from both sides of the path. Everything that the Tikians could use, they were using against Raymuna. The surprise attacked seemed effective at first, but the infantry snapped right back, and pushed the guerilla fighters back into the dense forest. The Raymunan infantry advanced toward the next village, and as soon as they reached the village gates, they saw four rows of HUGE Tikian warriors. These warriors weren't joking either, they had full armor on, and their swords gleamed in the sunlight that passed through the trees. They looked like devils to some of the Raymunan soldiers. It was no doubt that this village had iron deposits. The warriors charged upon the infantry. The infantry's guns were blaring, but it proved useless against these warriors. The warriors were cutting through the lines, then from out of no where came another attack. The infantry was being flanked again by different looking Tikian warriors. The infantry couldn't handle the attack. So they switched to desperation. The infantry began unloading grenades upon the warriors, killing them mercilessly. But the armored warriors stood, and kept annihilating the Raymunan warriors. The infantry fanned into the forest, splitting up the warriors. As the warriors split into the forest, the Raymunan tanks rolled up, and blew the city's gates down. The tanks rolled into the city, and began tearing down the Tikian defenses. As the Tikian armored warriors realized what had just happened, it was too late. The warriors turned around, and faced the full brunt of the Raymunan infantry. They were slaughtered, none of them left standing. The Raymunan infantry moved into the village, and took it with ease. The second division was given orders to rest up as the fourth division moved in, and took over the third village. An hour later, the third village was secured by the Raymunan fourth division infantry. South Boom Tiki Tiki Ha Ha had been conquered by the imperialisitc Raymunan army.

Summary: After the Raymunan army conquered the southern part of Boom Tiki-Tiki Ha Ha, they mobilized into the North. The captured it but it took a month. King Raymond was not pleased with this, but did not relieve Delmont from his command.

Once the north was taken there was only a portion of BTTHH that was not conquered by Raymuna. In that portion there was the capital, and two minor villages that didn't have much significance. The two minor cities were taken over, and used as a base of invasion of the capital city.

General Gransh Ha Lee and his men where no where to be found after he tried to assassinate Delmont. Gransh Ha Lee was deemed KIA, but truly wasn't. He set up small guerilla attacks on Raymunan installations/former Tikian villages. Of course this was only "suspected" at first.

Boom Tiki-Tiki was undoubtedly worried sick that his sacred place of Grand Lord would be erased. He didn't want to let down his people, but many of his people didn't even know he existed. He didn't know what the Raymunans would do to him, or his country. He also didn't want to look like a coward, so he never made an attempt at diplomacy.

General Delmont wasn't even scarred at the failed assassination attempt, and it only made him angrier. When he ordered the final assault, he told his men to physically crush the enemy. But when the Raymunan's sieged the city, a force of literally ten men came to face an army of 1,000. From generosity, the men where spared.

The great capital was captured, and the war was a victory for Raymuna. Or so they thought. Raymunan citizens celebrated as the good news came in about the victory. But now what? What would King Raymond do with Boom Tiki-Tiki Ha Ha. He decided during a press conference that he would be fair and just with the uncivilized country.

King Raymond decided that he would keep Grand Lord Boom Tiki-Tiki at his sacred home, and on his sacred throne. But he would have absolutely NO power whatsoever. King Raymond said that he would appoint a new leader to the country, that would answer directly to King Raymond himself. The new leader would control the country, but would have to answer to King Raymond. So basically he was the second-in-command.

King Raymond appointed General Victor Delmont as the new leader of Boom Tiki-Tiki Ha Ha. He would title his position "Head Chancellor of Boom Tiki-Tiki Ha Ha". King Raymond also annexed Boom Tiki-Tiki Ha Ha, and made it a province of Raymuna. Boom Tiki-Tiki Ha Ha to the UN, no longer exists.

Delmont would sit as Head Chancellor for about fifteen years, he wasn't seen has a fair ruler. Gransh Ha Lee still ordered guerilla attacks on Raymunan installations, but later came to realize that it would be ineffective. Instead he went to Raymuna, and talked to King Raymond himself. This process wasn't easy, it took him about five years. Two to improve his education and English, and three years to gain an actual identity in Raymunan life.

Gransh Ha Lee told King Raymond that Delmont was oppressive, and often lied to the King about how things were going in the province. King Raymond was angered, and ordered a full investigation of Delmont's actions. It came to be true that Delmont had been meanlessly slaughtering helpless Tikians. Delmont was ousted from his position, and was trialed and jailed in Raymuna.

But King Raymond did not know who would replace Delmont. He didn't want another Raymunan general to take the position. And he definitely did not want an advisor of his to take the place, because of Raymond's undeniable hate of his advisors. But there was one person that knew the Tikians, and wouldn't screw things up even worse. King Raymond actually wanted to appeal to the Tikians, and make life better for them.

So King Raymond decided to appoint Gransh Ha Lee as the Head Chancellor of Boom Tiki-Tiki Ha Ha. For the next ten years Gransh Ha Lee improved living standards, Education, and technology. Grand Lord Boom Tiki-Tiki disapproved of most of this publicly, and said that Gransh Ha Lee was a traitor and opponent of Traditional Tikian ways. But this was untrue as King Raymond advised Gransh Ha Lee to keep many cultural traditions the same, but thought that the Tikians would be better off with better technology. The Tikians approved of everything that Gransh Ha Lee did, and hardly even took Boom Tiki-Tiki's opinion for account. Boom Tiki-Tiki Ha Ha improved in a major way, but still held many of it's traditions.

After Boom Tiki-Tiki was shunned after slandering Gransh Ha Lee, he hardly was even mentioned in day to day life. Many freedoms were offered to the Tikians, that angered Boom Tiki-Tiki. Boom Tiki-Tiki wrote to King Raymond later:
(Letter was deciphered, and many spelling and grammar errors were corrected)

King Raymond,

You have destroyed my reputation with my fellow people. My appearance now is nothing like it was. A Majority of the population have disowned me, and are now worshipping Gransh Ha Lee as their Religious leader. This is a major infringement on Tikian tradition. I was worshipped as the religion, and now other religions are appearing! I cannot have you make a mockery of my country's sacred traditions. But I am afraid I have absolutely no power. Waging war against you would prove useless, mostly because I have no army to muster against you. No one supports my rule. You have ruined everything, and I will never forgive you. Someday, somehow I will have my vengeance.

Forever your foe,

Grand Lord Boom Tiki-Tiki

Gransh Ha Lee remained Head Chancellor for many decades, and Raymunan influenced started to diminish after so many years. To the day, King Raymond and Gransh Ha Lee remained friends. The Raymunan army was completely removed from the country, but still many diplomats remained there. King Raymond didn't want to lose power there completely. Gransh Ha Lee hardly answered to the King, and King Raymond didn't mind whatsoever.

Boom Tiki-Tiki Ha Ha flourished and prospered under Gransh Ha Lee. King Raymond considered BTTHH it's own country, but to UN terms it still did not exist. But to Gransh Ha Lee.....that didn't matter.