Pacitalia
10-11-2005, 02:01
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Saturday 12th November 2005
A hard act to follow
The trying process of choosing Ell's successor
TIMIOCATO, with correspondence from POTENZA, CIOCANTO and DOMASOTA, BERACANTO
As Timothy Ell prepares to leave office early next January, one thing is for certain: dark times are ahead in Pacitalia. Luckily for the people of this nation, this negative outlook can be ceremoniously avoided should the governing Federation of Progressive Democrats manage to pick a new leader capable of winning the impending federal election, and subsequently living in the shadow of a man who many Pacitalians, especially those loyal to the FPD, argue was one of the top three prime ministers, and one of the best leaders the world has ever seen.
Still, the prime minister is not about to be hasty. Despite the fact he has an official title longer than the average human arm, Mr Ell has been a continuously humble and modest man. This is certainly a contributor as to why his leadership has been so successful, but as he leaves office, one can be sure that the last nine and a half years in power have been the reason why Pacitalia itself is now a global performer. That, in itself, makes Prime Minister Ell and his government a tough act to follow.
In the coming days and weeks, the members of the Federation of Progressive Democrats (or ProDems, as they are affectionately nicknamed domestically) will begin the quest for a successor to Ell as leader of their party. The FPD has been consistently dominant since Francesco Santo Ragazzo acceded the prime ministership in February 1988 with a remarkable 64.6% of the popular vote - though many assert the high numbers for the FPD (then called the Capitalist Party) were thanks to right-wingers uncomfortable with the dying Conservative party and even moreso with voting for the opposition Liberals. The Capitalists/FPD ascended to governing status based on the fact they were a compromise party, but quickly showed they were much more than that under the leadership of Santo Ragazzo. When Santo Ragazzo announced his retirement due to failing health in November 1995, many observers felt exactly as they do now: who would succeed such a great man? Santo Ragazzo completed the first task in the so-called Modern Golden Age of the Capitalist Republic - the rebuilding of the Pacitalian cultural identity after Giorgio Cassata's asinine mid-1980s Conservative government threw said cultural identity in the trash bin. Capitalist/FPD members shocked to see a 27-year-old political scientist from suburban Mandragora take the reins of the party were similarly overjoyed to see Ell's work as head of state and government, as he bettered Santo Ragazzo's tenure by one year while creating the pedestal upon which Pacitalia sits, grinning out at a world baffled by the sudden presence of an economic, diplomatic and cultural giant.
Not as many people are worried now - the FPD has a literal bank of worthy successors to Ell, but the worry self-resurrects when FPD stalwarts begin to complain the successor that probably matters the most is "too much of a pussy-footer" to take the reins. That important character would just so happen to be Pacitalia's current second-in-command, Senior Deputy Prime Minister Dr. Adrian Copilul-Minune, a Romanian-born criminal psychologist from Pomentane. Many in the party want him to be the leader, but he famously ruined his chances with those remaining to be convinced when he said this past July that he "liked this job [senior deputy prime minister]. Nobody bothers me too much, but everyone respects my opinion." They were horribly chosen words that, according to Copilul-Minune's disgruntled supporters, were, on top of being simultaneously and paradoxically self-important and timid, deliberately spoken by the SDPM to ruin his own chances of being forced into the job. But, in hindsight, his supporters realise how wrong it would have been to do exactly that: for the most part, those who didn't support said they did so because his "political weight didn't carry far enough for him to lead the country." And, really, who wants to see a leader that doesn't want to be there, the most important job in the country?
Still, the same situation is happening as what occurred exactly ten years ago: many ProDems are uncertain about their party's future, but none are crying wolf just yet. Pacitalians may not currently, or ever, feel comfortable with electing anybody but the FPD in federal elections - it's governed La Repubblica for 61 of the last 100 years, and 17 of the last 20, and to put it in perspective, none of the country's secondary school students have seen another party in power, and all of them were born when Santo Ragazzo was prime minister. Successors to Ell will be mentioned - they will come and go like the breezes on the windward side of the Sierra Pacitalia. But, one must remember, however, that the next leader of the FPD will most likely be the next leader of the country. The members of this party are going to have quite a lot of fun choosing a leader because of that. And, the fact remains that, as much as it seems there may never be anyone capable of exceeding the successes of the Santo Ragazzo and Ell administrations, there's no reason to ring the alarm - somebody will eventually become the face of the party. Regardless, here are a few people we think will end up in a hotly-contested leadership race scheduled to happen the day after Ell leaves office.
Leapfrogging provincial politics?
There seems no formidable match in growth for Potenza, provincial capital of Ciocanto, and Pacitalia's 12th-largest metropolis. Despite its lack of population in comparison to other Pacitalian centres (1.6 million residents in 2005), Potenza has grown from a transportation hub into a diverse economic flashpoint for northern Pacitalians, who are still noticeably disadvantaged, in terms of quality-of-life and economic power, to their southern and central counterparts. Cities like Potenza and its larger, southeastern rival, Monterio (capital of Disculpava), are the only reason the annual GDP per head of the three northern provinces is above Đ17,500 (US$35,000). The north has primarily been seen as a minor agricultural and industrial player in the national economic picture, and a good chunk of the military bases for Pacitalia and her allies are in these three provinces. The Trinorta, a colloquial domestic nickname for the three provinces in question, only makes up 7% of the population, and this, combined with the near unimportance of cities like Potenza up to now has led to the FPD and parties before it being horribly unconcerned. Northern dissatisfaction with their handicap in regards to provinces like Amalfia, Antigonia, Beracanto, Liguria, Pomentane and Sambuca, where the economy is strongest and FPD's base is principally stationed, has contributed to a Communist Party provincial government in Meritate, Ciocanto's western neighbour. The Communists have ruled for 28 uninterrupted years with six straight majorities in the Meritatan legislature. Meritate is only one of two provinces in Pacitalia not governed by the FPD - the other is Caribero, governed by the far-right-wing Partia di Traditionale. Independence has never really been an issue, except for the GLNP separatist terror organisation, which operated primarily in Monterio before being wiped off the map in 2003 by the Ell government. The Ell administration's commitment to eradicating the GLNP, who were supported only by a minority of Meritatans, Ciocantans and Disculpavans, is probably one of the few reasons the FPD holds provincial court in the latter two provinces.
That's where 44-year-old Castel Devante (pronounced Cast-ul Day-vahn-tay) comes in. As the mayor of Potenza, he's no stranger to controversy. His smart-alec attitude towards insurgencies like the GLNP, and his cavalier, muscle-flexing stance in municipal politics has been frowned upon by a substantial sector of the ProDems' Potenza base. He's been popular as a mayor, but simultaneously unpopular as a member of the FPD - only 32% would back him up should his membership come into question. Still, his attitude is refreshing compared to the other rather dull mayoral administrations in Pacitalia, and that is something that may be needed to keep Pacitalian federal politics from crumbling from the vacuum Ell will be leaving in his wake. The current prime minister had nothing substantial to say about Devante, except for the fact that he "appreciated [Devante's] enthusiasm towards his position as mayor of an integral part of Pacitalia." Hardcore "Devanteists", a huge proportion of them Romanian-Pacitalians like him, held their noses at Ell's comments, but accepted them as genuine.
Devante's dare-the-world attitude may not exactly fare well in the hallowed halls of Timiocato's government district, and with Pacitalian allies, and with no clear support from his predecessors, should Devante consider running, he'll be one of the few candidates with only municipal politics as experience. Generally, involving one's self municipally hinders his or her ability to move up to federal politics, with the exception of those who go through the provincial level first. Still, we like to include Devante, more as a dark horse who's prepared to take no prisoners, and although a contender for leadership, it's hard to make a case that he will do well in that respect. Increased publicity may benefit Devante later on, but he's got a lot of work to do.
Odds of becoming Ell's successor: 26 to 1
Vincenza the kingmaker
Pacitalians, especially feminist Pacitalians, have a lot to say about women in politics. While feminists are, of course, leading the charge for more female representation (six provinces are currently looking at bills to make it mandatory to have at least 30% female representation in their legislatures), a lot of Pacitalians still seem slightly put off by women holding court in federal politics, with the exception of Athena Papistikas. And after the blunders of Roberta Santo Paraggia as she led the federal arm of the Partia di Traditionale into the ground, who can blame Pacitalians for doubting the viability of female prime ministers, let alone party leaders? But once again, the Ciocanto contingent of the FPD may have a solution to Pacitalian doubts about certain issues (aka Mr Devante as a kingpin in making federal politics into a refreshing, blow-your-mind extravaganza). The provincial premiers of Pacitalia (known as the premeratimu in Pacitalian) are usually overlooked as successors to prime ministers, but in this impending election, we have two provincial premiers becoming very likely leadership contestants, and this clear-thinking, mature lady, the premerati of Ciocanto, is the first of those.
Fiery, 52-year-old Mariana Cosima Vincenza has been the head of the province since 1991, when she was swept into the premier's chair with 48% of the popular vote and 45 of the 75 seats in Ciocanto's legislature. That came after three straight Green majority governments. Subsequent elections in 1995, 1999 and 2003 have seen Ms Vincenza's share of the provincial legislature increase slightly each time, to the point that she is now sitting with a caucus of 53 and support of about 59% provincewide. Her political stance is seen as purely fiscally conservative - and that may be her weakness, as she seems to give others the impression she cares not for social issues. However, her administration's Department of Human Resources and Social Development has been widely lauded as one of the best-run departments in the Ciocantan provincial government, increasing the standard of living for a vast majority of the people she leads.
Still, many see her as a stony-faced hawk, and a relic of the early 1990s. Pacitalians prefer fresher blood in their federal political figures, and there's valid questioning whether Vincenza is past her expiry date or not. If she makes the jump to federal politics, she may be able to allay those concerns, and if she runs her campaign for leadership on her track record and her heavy patriotic sentiments, she may become the FPD party leader. Unfortunately, feelings of wariness towards female leaders may ultimately prevent the FPD from forming government if she does accede the leadership. If she doesn't, it will be because the FPD realised their unwillingness to concede governing Pacitalia in order to get her in as leader.
Odds of becoming Ell's successor: 12 to 1
Our best hope
There's no better successor to a current prime minister than a man who looks eerily like a combination of his two predecessors. Mr Ell and the late Mr Santo Ragazzo share fantastically similar qualities with this man, the 46-year-old premerati of Sambuca province. This man is like the two in numerous ways, so much so that if a mirror were held up opposite him, he would literally look like a half of each prime minister hastily cobbled together. But he is far from hasty - in fact, his ability to think things through in swift time is one of his many defining positives. As the head of Sambuca province (since 1995), he's had to put a few skeletons in the closet, but there's a difference here: he's locked the door to it and thrown away the key.
For Constantino Sorantanali, being in federal politics has always been his dream. Though, he's one of the few premeratimu to actually admit provincial politics has improved his viewpoints and given him a new perspective on the intertwined political operations of Pacitalia as a semi-federated republic, let alone his province. Sambuca has seen unprecedented prosperity under his decade of guidance, and the city of the same name has been elevated from "just another port" to being the Cultural Capital of Pacitalia for the first half of 2004. It's the thespian hotspot of the country as well as a festival circuit breaker, and it boasts the biggest gay-lesbian population of any city in Pacitalia - nearly one million of Sambuca's 11 million residents. For Pacitalia's fourth-largest city and sixth-largest province, life couldn't be sweeter. And Sorantanali and his FPD government are principally responsible for this good fortune.
Sorantanali seems primed to take the leadership based on his own track record. However, he has one advantage the other two mentionables here do not: support outside his own province. Vincenza and Devante are burger-flippers in comparison to Sorantanali, a name now known in many provinces thanks to what he's done for Sambuca - the city and the province. And with Ell having true difficulty choosing between him and Dr. Copilul-Minune for the SDPM position last March, it seems Ell had faith in Sorantanali's political skill. Maybe it was meant to be that Ell chose Dr. Copilul-Minune for the senior deputy prime minister. It definitely leaves Sorantanali open to fulfil his destiny with no federal political ghosts while Dr. Copilul-Minune can stay in the SDPM position (if Sorantanali wins the leadership and the election, readers can bet Dr. Copilul-Minune will play an integral role in the next government, if not being SDPM again).
Odds of becoming Ell's successor: 7 to 1
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Saturday 12th November 2005
A hard act to follow
The trying process of choosing Ell's successor
TIMIOCATO, with correspondence from POTENZA, CIOCANTO and DOMASOTA, BERACANTO
As Timothy Ell prepares to leave office early next January, one thing is for certain: dark times are ahead in Pacitalia. Luckily for the people of this nation, this negative outlook can be ceremoniously avoided should the governing Federation of Progressive Democrats manage to pick a new leader capable of winning the impending federal election, and subsequently living in the shadow of a man who many Pacitalians, especially those loyal to the FPD, argue was one of the top three prime ministers, and one of the best leaders the world has ever seen.
Still, the prime minister is not about to be hasty. Despite the fact he has an official title longer than the average human arm, Mr Ell has been a continuously humble and modest man. This is certainly a contributor as to why his leadership has been so successful, but as he leaves office, one can be sure that the last nine and a half years in power have been the reason why Pacitalia itself is now a global performer. That, in itself, makes Prime Minister Ell and his government a tough act to follow.
In the coming days and weeks, the members of the Federation of Progressive Democrats (or ProDems, as they are affectionately nicknamed domestically) will begin the quest for a successor to Ell as leader of their party. The FPD has been consistently dominant since Francesco Santo Ragazzo acceded the prime ministership in February 1988 with a remarkable 64.6% of the popular vote - though many assert the high numbers for the FPD (then called the Capitalist Party) were thanks to right-wingers uncomfortable with the dying Conservative party and even moreso with voting for the opposition Liberals. The Capitalists/FPD ascended to governing status based on the fact they were a compromise party, but quickly showed they were much more than that under the leadership of Santo Ragazzo. When Santo Ragazzo announced his retirement due to failing health in November 1995, many observers felt exactly as they do now: who would succeed such a great man? Santo Ragazzo completed the first task in the so-called Modern Golden Age of the Capitalist Republic - the rebuilding of the Pacitalian cultural identity after Giorgio Cassata's asinine mid-1980s Conservative government threw said cultural identity in the trash bin. Capitalist/FPD members shocked to see a 27-year-old political scientist from suburban Mandragora take the reins of the party were similarly overjoyed to see Ell's work as head of state and government, as he bettered Santo Ragazzo's tenure by one year while creating the pedestal upon which Pacitalia sits, grinning out at a world baffled by the sudden presence of an economic, diplomatic and cultural giant.
Not as many people are worried now - the FPD has a literal bank of worthy successors to Ell, but the worry self-resurrects when FPD stalwarts begin to complain the successor that probably matters the most is "too much of a pussy-footer" to take the reins. That important character would just so happen to be Pacitalia's current second-in-command, Senior Deputy Prime Minister Dr. Adrian Copilul-Minune, a Romanian-born criminal psychologist from Pomentane. Many in the party want him to be the leader, but he famously ruined his chances with those remaining to be convinced when he said this past July that he "liked this job [senior deputy prime minister]. Nobody bothers me too much, but everyone respects my opinion." They were horribly chosen words that, according to Copilul-Minune's disgruntled supporters, were, on top of being simultaneously and paradoxically self-important and timid, deliberately spoken by the SDPM to ruin his own chances of being forced into the job. But, in hindsight, his supporters realise how wrong it would have been to do exactly that: for the most part, those who didn't support said they did so because his "political weight didn't carry far enough for him to lead the country." And, really, who wants to see a leader that doesn't want to be there, the most important job in the country?
Still, the same situation is happening as what occurred exactly ten years ago: many ProDems are uncertain about their party's future, but none are crying wolf just yet. Pacitalians may not currently, or ever, feel comfortable with electing anybody but the FPD in federal elections - it's governed La Repubblica for 61 of the last 100 years, and 17 of the last 20, and to put it in perspective, none of the country's secondary school students have seen another party in power, and all of them were born when Santo Ragazzo was prime minister. Successors to Ell will be mentioned - they will come and go like the breezes on the windward side of the Sierra Pacitalia. But, one must remember, however, that the next leader of the FPD will most likely be the next leader of the country. The members of this party are going to have quite a lot of fun choosing a leader because of that. And, the fact remains that, as much as it seems there may never be anyone capable of exceeding the successes of the Santo Ragazzo and Ell administrations, there's no reason to ring the alarm - somebody will eventually become the face of the party. Regardless, here are a few people we think will end up in a hotly-contested leadership race scheduled to happen the day after Ell leaves office.
Leapfrogging provincial politics?
There seems no formidable match in growth for Potenza, provincial capital of Ciocanto, and Pacitalia's 12th-largest metropolis. Despite its lack of population in comparison to other Pacitalian centres (1.6 million residents in 2005), Potenza has grown from a transportation hub into a diverse economic flashpoint for northern Pacitalians, who are still noticeably disadvantaged, in terms of quality-of-life and economic power, to their southern and central counterparts. Cities like Potenza and its larger, southeastern rival, Monterio (capital of Disculpava), are the only reason the annual GDP per head of the three northern provinces is above Đ17,500 (US$35,000). The north has primarily been seen as a minor agricultural and industrial player in the national economic picture, and a good chunk of the military bases for Pacitalia and her allies are in these three provinces. The Trinorta, a colloquial domestic nickname for the three provinces in question, only makes up 7% of the population, and this, combined with the near unimportance of cities like Potenza up to now has led to the FPD and parties before it being horribly unconcerned. Northern dissatisfaction with their handicap in regards to provinces like Amalfia, Antigonia, Beracanto, Liguria, Pomentane and Sambuca, where the economy is strongest and FPD's base is principally stationed, has contributed to a Communist Party provincial government in Meritate, Ciocanto's western neighbour. The Communists have ruled for 28 uninterrupted years with six straight majorities in the Meritatan legislature. Meritate is only one of two provinces in Pacitalia not governed by the FPD - the other is Caribero, governed by the far-right-wing Partia di Traditionale. Independence has never really been an issue, except for the GLNP separatist terror organisation, which operated primarily in Monterio before being wiped off the map in 2003 by the Ell government. The Ell administration's commitment to eradicating the GLNP, who were supported only by a minority of Meritatans, Ciocantans and Disculpavans, is probably one of the few reasons the FPD holds provincial court in the latter two provinces.
That's where 44-year-old Castel Devante (pronounced Cast-ul Day-vahn-tay) comes in. As the mayor of Potenza, he's no stranger to controversy. His smart-alec attitude towards insurgencies like the GLNP, and his cavalier, muscle-flexing stance in municipal politics has been frowned upon by a substantial sector of the ProDems' Potenza base. He's been popular as a mayor, but simultaneously unpopular as a member of the FPD - only 32% would back him up should his membership come into question. Still, his attitude is refreshing compared to the other rather dull mayoral administrations in Pacitalia, and that is something that may be needed to keep Pacitalian federal politics from crumbling from the vacuum Ell will be leaving in his wake. The current prime minister had nothing substantial to say about Devante, except for the fact that he "appreciated [Devante's] enthusiasm towards his position as mayor of an integral part of Pacitalia." Hardcore "Devanteists", a huge proportion of them Romanian-Pacitalians like him, held their noses at Ell's comments, but accepted them as genuine.
Devante's dare-the-world attitude may not exactly fare well in the hallowed halls of Timiocato's government district, and with Pacitalian allies, and with no clear support from his predecessors, should Devante consider running, he'll be one of the few candidates with only municipal politics as experience. Generally, involving one's self municipally hinders his or her ability to move up to federal politics, with the exception of those who go through the provincial level first. Still, we like to include Devante, more as a dark horse who's prepared to take no prisoners, and although a contender for leadership, it's hard to make a case that he will do well in that respect. Increased publicity may benefit Devante later on, but he's got a lot of work to do.
Odds of becoming Ell's successor: 26 to 1
Vincenza the kingmaker
Pacitalians, especially feminist Pacitalians, have a lot to say about women in politics. While feminists are, of course, leading the charge for more female representation (six provinces are currently looking at bills to make it mandatory to have at least 30% female representation in their legislatures), a lot of Pacitalians still seem slightly put off by women holding court in federal politics, with the exception of Athena Papistikas. And after the blunders of Roberta Santo Paraggia as she led the federal arm of the Partia di Traditionale into the ground, who can blame Pacitalians for doubting the viability of female prime ministers, let alone party leaders? But once again, the Ciocanto contingent of the FPD may have a solution to Pacitalian doubts about certain issues (aka Mr Devante as a kingpin in making federal politics into a refreshing, blow-your-mind extravaganza). The provincial premiers of Pacitalia (known as the premeratimu in Pacitalian) are usually overlooked as successors to prime ministers, but in this impending election, we have two provincial premiers becoming very likely leadership contestants, and this clear-thinking, mature lady, the premerati of Ciocanto, is the first of those.
Fiery, 52-year-old Mariana Cosima Vincenza has been the head of the province since 1991, when she was swept into the premier's chair with 48% of the popular vote and 45 of the 75 seats in Ciocanto's legislature. That came after three straight Green majority governments. Subsequent elections in 1995, 1999 and 2003 have seen Ms Vincenza's share of the provincial legislature increase slightly each time, to the point that she is now sitting with a caucus of 53 and support of about 59% provincewide. Her political stance is seen as purely fiscally conservative - and that may be her weakness, as she seems to give others the impression she cares not for social issues. However, her administration's Department of Human Resources and Social Development has been widely lauded as one of the best-run departments in the Ciocantan provincial government, increasing the standard of living for a vast majority of the people she leads.
Still, many see her as a stony-faced hawk, and a relic of the early 1990s. Pacitalians prefer fresher blood in their federal political figures, and there's valid questioning whether Vincenza is past her expiry date or not. If she makes the jump to federal politics, she may be able to allay those concerns, and if she runs her campaign for leadership on her track record and her heavy patriotic sentiments, she may become the FPD party leader. Unfortunately, feelings of wariness towards female leaders may ultimately prevent the FPD from forming government if she does accede the leadership. If she doesn't, it will be because the FPD realised their unwillingness to concede governing Pacitalia in order to get her in as leader.
Odds of becoming Ell's successor: 12 to 1
Our best hope
There's no better successor to a current prime minister than a man who looks eerily like a combination of his two predecessors. Mr Ell and the late Mr Santo Ragazzo share fantastically similar qualities with this man, the 46-year-old premerati of Sambuca province. This man is like the two in numerous ways, so much so that if a mirror were held up opposite him, he would literally look like a half of each prime minister hastily cobbled together. But he is far from hasty - in fact, his ability to think things through in swift time is one of his many defining positives. As the head of Sambuca province (since 1995), he's had to put a few skeletons in the closet, but there's a difference here: he's locked the door to it and thrown away the key.
For Constantino Sorantanali, being in federal politics has always been his dream. Though, he's one of the few premeratimu to actually admit provincial politics has improved his viewpoints and given him a new perspective on the intertwined political operations of Pacitalia as a semi-federated republic, let alone his province. Sambuca has seen unprecedented prosperity under his decade of guidance, and the city of the same name has been elevated from "just another port" to being the Cultural Capital of Pacitalia for the first half of 2004. It's the thespian hotspot of the country as well as a festival circuit breaker, and it boasts the biggest gay-lesbian population of any city in Pacitalia - nearly one million of Sambuca's 11 million residents. For Pacitalia's fourth-largest city and sixth-largest province, life couldn't be sweeter. And Sorantanali and his FPD government are principally responsible for this good fortune.
Sorantanali seems primed to take the leadership based on his own track record. However, he has one advantage the other two mentionables here do not: support outside his own province. Vincenza and Devante are burger-flippers in comparison to Sorantanali, a name now known in many provinces thanks to what he's done for Sambuca - the city and the province. And with Ell having true difficulty choosing between him and Dr. Copilul-Minune for the SDPM position last March, it seems Ell had faith in Sorantanali's political skill. Maybe it was meant to be that Ell chose Dr. Copilul-Minune for the senior deputy prime minister. It definitely leaves Sorantanali open to fulfil his destiny with no federal political ghosts while Dr. Copilul-Minune can stay in the SDPM position (if Sorantanali wins the leadership and the election, readers can bet Dr. Copilul-Minune will play an integral role in the next government, if not being SDPM again).
Odds of becoming Ell's successor: 7 to 1