NationStates Jolt Archive

-Almohed Central News-

Janus: Hello, I'm Janus Parum, and welcome to Almohed Central News. On Ts...wait a moment...this just in...Imperium Corp has just made a surprising move to buy out Wohali Military Corporation. They have offered an amazing amount of over 800 billion Adelvs for the small company. Here is Harlan Short, our on-location source for this astounding new news.

Harlan: Thank you Janus, looking wonderful today by the way.

Janus: Thank you Harlan.

Harlan: Anyway, here is the deal. As you know Imperium Corp has made a name for itself here in Almohed by its astounding sales and monopoly on household products for the average Almodite. It's CEO, John Brocium has told me that Imperium Corp has been designing military weapons secretly for over ten years now. Mr. Brocium told me that Imperium had simply just been waiting for the right time to buy out Wohali. Though this move is quite surprising to us, Wohali Military's CEO, Richard Doiu was not so surprised. Mr. Doiu told me that he had been waiting for Imperium to make this move since he became Wohali's CEO nearly eight years ago. I think that Wohali is going to accept the offer, due to the large sum, but Wohali and Imperium have scheduled a joint press conference for later today to announce whether Wohali will accept or reject Imperium's offer. And you can bet, we will be there to show the public what the news is. Back to you Janus.

Janus: Thank you Harlan. In other, less sudden news...

-End Transmission-

-Wohali/Imperium Joint Press Conference-

Harlan: This is Harlan Short, reporting on-location the Wohali/Imperium Joint Press Conference. I will be silent for the most part during this speech. We, the press, have been told that questions must be held until the end of the conference. We will not trouble the viewers with showing the questions, but will simply show the speeches being made. Ah, the CEO of Wohali is taking the podium.

Doiu: On behalf of Wohali Military Corporation, I would like to thank the press of Almohed for showing up for this sudden event. As you all know, Imperium Corp has offered to buy Wohali Military for the enormous sum of 800 billion Adelvs. We at Wohali Military have declined this offer. We believe Wohali Military has a bright future ahead of it, too precious to throw away for 800 billion Adelvs.

--Whispering occurs throughout the room and audience.--

Doiu: Please, be quiet. Let me finish.

--Silence--

Doiu: But, Imperium Corp came back with something far greater than we could have imagined. Imperium Corp is willing to pay a sum of 1.2 trillion Adelvs. At this, we have agreed...

Harlan (whispering in front of the camera): Our sources tell us that though the total sum is 1.2 trillion Adelvs, it is really 800 billion for the company, and a private payment of 100 billion Adelvs to each of the four board members. This just shows how much the owners are willing to sell their hard work for.

Doiu: ...And without further adu, Mr. Brocium, the CEO of Imperium Corp.

Brocium: Thank you Mr. Doiu. Imperium Corp, upon acquisition of Wohali Military has decided to do several things. First, the name of Wohali Military will be changed to SolCorp, and will be a subsidiary of Imperium Corp. Second, the scientists that have been developing new ships and weapons for the past ten years will be under the direction of SolCorp. Third, the new items will be released immediately, as they are being manufactured for the first time right now. Fourth, Mr. Doiu, the former CEO of Wohali Military will serve as the new CEO of SolCorp., and the other board of directors of Wohali Military shall maintain their positions in the new SolCorp family. Fifth, all new products shall be named in the tradition of Wohali Military Corp. And finally, the products shall become available in packages for those who do not wish to hunt around for the items they need. Although all items will still be sold seperately. This concludes the press conference. The press will be limited to ten questions total, directed to either myself or Mr. Doiu. Thank you.

Harlan: There you have it folks. Wohali Military has been bought out, and is now SolCorp. The board members each get 100 billion Adelvs and maintain their old positions, and the public gets new weapons and ships. This is Harlan Short, and we're out.

-End Transmission-