NationStates Jolt Archive

A memo was sent to nations galactic wide and across the time line:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from military students around the Universe, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. in the course, please see your training officer. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our training officers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Students who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our training officers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

For students who are intending to pursue a career in management and consultancy, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes on how to manage M.O.R.E.
S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).


Thank you for considering the special S.H.I.T. program

Major General Hanzar
BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

Please select where you will like to join:

SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING:

DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS for SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (for those who failed S.H.I.T. only):

EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING for SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING:

BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST for SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING:

MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING:


OOC:
Special Thanks to Kyanges for emailing this to me so long ago (last year) and to the guys who created Red vs. Blue (http://rvb.roosterteeth.com/home.php) for the inspiration.

The purpose of this thread is to make your army under the stupidest sercumstances(sp?). Create sarcastic characters, dumbasses, kissasses, the whole lot of 'em.

Be creative, and have fun.
(Hence the Humor part of the thread)

A memo was sent to nations galactic wide and across the time line:

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from military students around the Universe, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. in the course, please see your training officer. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our training officers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Students who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our training officers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

For students who are intending to pursue a career in management and consultancy, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course emphasizes on how to manage M.O.R.E.
S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TEACHING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).


Thank you for considering the special S.H.I.T. program

Major General Hanzar
BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

Please select where you will like to join:

SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING:

DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS for SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (for those who failed S.H.I.T. only):

EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING for SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING:

BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST for SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING:

MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING:


OOC:
Special Thanks to Kyanges for emailing this to me so long ago (last year) and to the guys who created Red vs. Blue (http://rvb.roosterteeth.com/home.php) for the inspiration.

The purpose of this thread is to make your army under the stupidest sercumstances(sp?). Create sarcastic characters, dumbasses, kissasses, the whole lot of 'em.

Be creative, and have fun.
(Hence the Humor part of the thread)


(OOC: I should've seen this coming... @_@ .)

IC:

A simple message was sent back to S.H.I.T. Headquarters:

We would like to suggest a new course for our special students, known as the Honorable Observator's Life Yearly Special High Intensity Training, (H.O.L.Y. S.H.I.T.). Can you provide?

Message to: Eshirian Sovereignty(Kyanges to others)
From: S.H.I.T. H.Q.

Yes, we can provide H.O.L.Y. S.H.I.T. as a new course for your students.

Message to: Esherian Sovereignty(Kyanges to others)
From: S.H.I.T. H.Q.

Yes, we can provide H.O.L.Y. S.H.I.T. as a new course for your students.

In a flash, a small light appeared outside of S.H.I.T. HQ. A dark hooded character, just oozing malice floated silently up to the gate. Every bit of life around it seemed to wither and die around it. Making it's way up to the guard, it asked in a low voice, "What is this folly? Some kind of training facility?"

(OOC: It's Eshirian Sovereignty btw.)

OOC: Damn it!

IC:
A nearby guard walked up to the shadowy figure and heard it's question.
He's dealt with these types of people before for one of his own Kirtir Lords has the same feeling around him.
"Yes, this is a training facility. How may I help your unfortunate ass..... I mean fortunate person to come to this facility?"

OOC: Damn it!

IC:
A nearby guard walked up to the shadowy figure and heard it's question.
He's dealt with these types of people before for one of his own Kirtir Lords has the same feeling around him.
"Yes, this is a training facility. How may I help your unfortunate ass..... I mean fortunate person to come to this facility?"

(OOC: O_O. Lol, it's no big deal. *idiot* ^_^ .)

IC:

Without warning the figure simply slashed at the guard...

(OOC: I'm leaving up to you to determine his fate...)

(OOC: O_O. Lol, it's no big deal. *idiot* ^_^ .)

IC:

Without warning the figure simply slashed at the guard...

(OOC: I'm leaving up to you to determine his fate...)


OOC: *Mr. Burns voice* Excellent....

IC: The guard staired down as the sword went through his lower half of his body. He colapsed in half and landed on the ground.

OOC: *Mr. Burns voice* Excellent....

IC: The guard staired down as the sword went through his lower half of his body. He colapsed in half and landed on the ground.

The figure watched with silent satisfaction at its handiwork. "Insolent fool..." As it passed by the dead corpse, the flesh shriveled away, and the bones burned to ashes. It was as if the corpse, that had only just been cut down, had been there for thousands of years in an instant.

Inside the academy was a private. This private hated his job as a marine. Hell, he hated doing work. Private Dreshde held his Kirtir Battle Riffle in his hands thinking hatefull thoughts about the army.

"Dreshde, report to duty on the double private!"

Crap, "On my way sarge."

If there was one thing Dreshde hated more than the army, it's his seargent. A southern accented guy who had completed his B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. training the previous year and thinks he knows everything.

Dreshde walked out of his room, knowing that the day will just get worse.