NationStates Jolt Archive


Protesters Dealt with

Soviet leaders
29-10-2005, 05:54
At about 1:00 pm in red square a group of 50 protesters were marching peacefuly and then while they were marching down the main street when one of the protesters shot at a law enforcement with a Ak-47 and told them to "Go F**K them self's" that is when the army was called in and by the time the marching back into the red square the tanks rolled up and block them off and the shots came from inside the group and the army opened fire 30 of them died and only 20 walked out with minor cuts.
Saint Fedski
29-10-2005, 06:12
OOC: I must say you didn't develop the story very well. You should probably add some mre description to it, throw in some adjectives and dialogue. Try and make it like something you'd read in a book that way it develops more of a story allowing people to get "into it" easier. Not to mention it just makes it that much more interesting to read. A good example we be Kraven Corpoarations current situation: http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=440376. It's a good read. The Tiananmen Square theme is a good one though!