NationStates Jolt Archive

This is CNN(the Cholanan News Network) with breaking coverage of a hostage situation in Kalehm City. Religious terrotists, claiming the government has denied them their religious freedoms, has taken an elementary school hostage. The said they will be sending out a list of their grievances, and demands shor-
wiat here it is, the leader of their cult is making a statemnet, now live to Kalehm City.
(the screen changes to the face of an elderly man, white ckin, witha full beard and sunken cheeks,)
I am the high priest Esspix, and I have taken these four hundred children hostage in order to get you to listen to us. We are the Sacred order of the Eternal Monkey, and we have been denied our rightto express ourselves in the form our religion dictates. Recently, we have tried to make an issue out of it, but the government has simply dis-missed us. All we were asking for was a few humans to slaughter every new year, and we have been denied this. Then, when the sacred temple of the eternal mummy was un-earthed, they denied our preists entrance. Their "Archaelogists" are defiling our sacred temple every minute they spend in there, and the governmenthas made no move to stop them. Our demands are that the government remove all people from the site of the sacred temple, and prvide us with no less than ten souls to sacrifice to the Eternal Monkey. If our demands are not met within the next fourty-eight hours, we will sacrifice this entiere school to the everlasting glory that is the Eternal Monkey.
(the screen cuts back ot the reporter)
There you have it folks, a group of religious psychos will kill people if the government doesnt let them kill people. the government of Cholana is expected to make a statement within the hour. This is Tom Chanran, covering the story of...

Breaking news in the hostage situation in Kalehm City, the government of cholana is prepared to make a stement, and here they are.(the screen mocuts to a well dressed man standing behind a podium, looking down at some papaers)

"The governmnet of cholana is very concerned about recent events within the capital. The claims by these zealots that we have denied them their religious rights are ridiculous. We do not ban them from practiaing thier religion. We do not claim that theri religion is wrong. The government of cholana has no stanf on any religion, we only ask that all religions follow certain restrictions, one of which is the banning of human sacrifices. We do not ban animal sacrifices, nor any other kind of sacrifice. Nor do we tax the funds of any religion. The claims that we have "defiled" their sacred temple are laughable. That temple has been claimed by no less than seven major religions in this country, and every religion has been invited to send a preist as either an observer, or a participant, in the excavation of these ruins. The government does not co-operate with terrorists, and will deal with the situation."
(The screen cuts back to the reporter)
There you have it folks, stay tuned to CNN for more coverage of the Crisis in Kalehm City.

...
"But General, we can't jsut march in there and massacre a bunch of people, not to mention the welfare of the children" the Presidents aide said.

"Then what would you recomend, giving them ten people to kill" the general said outraged.

"No sir, not at-" the aide was interupted

"Gentelman, i would remind you that i am still the leader of this country. I beilieve that this situation must be met with action, but action taken with the utmost care. I beilieve that a group of snipers, combined with a force of commandos, arme with assault rifles and tear gas could get the job done." the president said

The general saluted,"Yes Sir, i will see to it at once," With that the genreal walked out.