Hyperspatial Travel
07-10-2005, 08:12
Floating, floating in the silence of space. Above a small, green, moon, which undoubtably had some small, furry, rebellious creatures who would attempt to destroy the shield generator in conjunction with the growing dissolute faction, but, that aside, the framework of the long, sleek ship was an artwork in itself.
You see, the League had long been lacking a powerful, efficient, planetkiller. Sure, they had the "planet-raper", great for making lava well up everywhere, they had the "surface-scraper", great for killing everyone on the planet, but nothing, bar nothing matched the sheer kick-assness of the "My god. Where did Aldera-... Yav-..."
"Screw it! You're fired! Useless crappy hack actor"
^_^;
That aside, as anyone must admit, planet-killers are pretty damn cool. The League was cool. Therefore, the League must have a planet-killer. Logic tells us, that when a major business funds a planet-killer, something is pretty damned weird. However, the government took money where it could, and so the Sportarama Shoes Planet Annihilator (SSPA) was born.
And it was beautiful. Hundreds of labels and posters were hung up on the sides, the beam itself had a theme tune; it sang "Sportarama Shoes! Buy 'em before you lose!". Of course, this was pretty damn pointless, as the people would be dead before they could buy the shoes, but it was very, very groovy.
Other considerations had to be taken into account. For instance, the uniform of those on board. Naturally, Sportarama shoes, bikinis, and pants were worn, making for an interesting look on the half-male troops. This was later revised, and the men given blaster-proof armour with huge Sportarama logos.
The thing was going to take thirty-two years to finish, but that didn't matter. Meanwhile, six sponsored movies, four TV shows, and two series of books were being created by Sportarama to endorse this planet killer; they wanted people to know Sportarama was the one going out there and kicking the enemies of the League, and, that buying Sportarama made the universe a safer place!
Of course, the people who had to fly this thing were, to put it mildly, very ticked off. Their nice new shiny planet destroyer's existence was being broadcasted round the galaxy, and to boot, they had to advertise a company. At least they got to play extras in the movies....
You see, the League had long been lacking a powerful, efficient, planetkiller. Sure, they had the "planet-raper", great for making lava well up everywhere, they had the "surface-scraper", great for killing everyone on the planet, but nothing, bar nothing matched the sheer kick-assness of the "My god. Where did Aldera-... Yav-..."
"Screw it! You're fired! Useless crappy hack actor"
^_^;
That aside, as anyone must admit, planet-killers are pretty damn cool. The League was cool. Therefore, the League must have a planet-killer. Logic tells us, that when a major business funds a planet-killer, something is pretty damned weird. However, the government took money where it could, and so the Sportarama Shoes Planet Annihilator (SSPA) was born.
And it was beautiful. Hundreds of labels and posters were hung up on the sides, the beam itself had a theme tune; it sang "Sportarama Shoes! Buy 'em before you lose!". Of course, this was pretty damn pointless, as the people would be dead before they could buy the shoes, but it was very, very groovy.
Other considerations had to be taken into account. For instance, the uniform of those on board. Naturally, Sportarama shoes, bikinis, and pants were worn, making for an interesting look on the half-male troops. This was later revised, and the men given blaster-proof armour with huge Sportarama logos.
The thing was going to take thirty-two years to finish, but that didn't matter. Meanwhile, six sponsored movies, four TV shows, and two series of books were being created by Sportarama to endorse this planet killer; they wanted people to know Sportarama was the one going out there and kicking the enemies of the League, and, that buying Sportarama made the universe a safer place!
Of course, the people who had to fly this thing were, to put it mildly, very ticked off. Their nice new shiny planet destroyer's existence was being broadcasted round the galaxy, and to boot, they had to advertise a company. At least they got to play extras in the movies....