NationStates Jolt Archive

Oh yes, a sound and video broadcast from the middle of nowhere! Nowhere being Tabernackle! A few seconds of static popped onto any scanning reciever screens, before displaying a room painted entirely white. A man was standing in the room, which made the video that much more interesting. That man being King Morcanon, he of large names. After a moment, he spoke up.

"Are you sitting there, bored, waiting for some idiot to tell you about some fancy thing? Well, today, you are in luck, because I'm that idiot, and HERE is that fancy thing!"

The camera panned across more white walls and room, and settled on... it. Gods, there was no other noun besides it. Well, pronoun or noun, but that is besides the point! IT set there. If one were to look at it long enough to actually allow its abomination of a shape to sink into their minds, it might look something like this:

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y20/Arnin/Bikeodoom.jpg

"Yes, ladies and gentleman! And other! Here we have the grandest of the grand, la creme de la creme, the proverbial bee's knees, cat's pants, and dog's gonads. The Buttermellow Cupcake 5000. Now with interchangeable eye lighting, optional streamers, and large gouging pointy bits. We here at Wafflemunchers and Co, a small company that is most certainly not owned by me nor any other member of the government, are sure that with the Buttermellow Cupcake 5000, Tabernackle will now sweep across the universe, bemusing all those in their path. Thank you, and good night. Day. Time period."

OOC: Anyone wishing to purchase one of our lovely vehicles is welcome to initiate trade. If you want, I can post a profile render or somesuch thing.

OOC: Yes, I have the profile right here, since the thread seems kind of unpopular. Really, get involved, please! Jeer, kneel before me, pee your name in the nonexistant snow in front of my house! Something? Anything? Ok, fine, here's the profile.

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y20/Arnin/BikeoDoomprofile.jpg

Otagia would like to destroy all available models for gouging one of our Avatars. Badly. Inna head. He really was hurt, you know.

OOC: Er, what is it excactly? ANd speak english!

To: Our Esteemed Betters, the Otagians
Body:
We are quite sorry that your avatar was wounded as such. However, we must note that you are referring to the Rather Scary Thing 1700, which is an older model which is far less reliable than the Buttermellow Cupcake 5000. If you do, indeed, wish to destroy all of either of our models of jethorses, you will have to speak to the Recall Officer. He's over there, in that deep dark pit. The one with the growling noises coming from it.

OOC: Scamptica Prime, this is a jethorse. Or rather, a jetbike themed like a horse. You ride on it. Do you see the seat with the fancy blue thing on it that would dig into your back and hurt if you tried to set your back on it? Yes. You're supposed to put your back on that.

Also, I was not aware I was speaking any language but grande, olde English. I shall attempt to rectify this abhorrent conundrum.

OOC: I don't wish to be rude, but may I ask what I'm doing wrong? I've had very few replies, one questioning my sanity and the other from a close friend. Did I spell something atrociously?

No, but most poeple aren't interested in horsebikes... Or whatever. :p

The Kahanistan National Police could use 50,000 of these bikes. Our big, bulky cruisers cannot go ino the alleys and sewers where criminals like to run and hide.

We would like to enquire as to whether the rusted appearance is intentional, as it may be putting of customers. If it is not intentional if you wish we can provide you with contacts for a WD40 supplier.

To: Kahanistan
Body:
We would be willing to sell these to you, but we wonder if you could, perhaps, pick them up at our planet? We don't have any way to get them to you. Or even to get one to you. We don't have any... how do you say... spaceships. Wait, no, that's wrong, I've just been informed that we do. It just can't go into space. Or ship anything. Infact, it's not, as such, a spaceship, but rather a ham sandwich with the word "Spaceship" written on it with permanent marker. You could have it if you came to pick up the Buttermellow Cupcake 5000s. Also, how much would you pay us for them? We accept money, resources, and things that go boom pointed at our heads.

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"In reference to aforementioned "rust", it is simply an illusion. There is no rust. Look, over there! A fluffy bunny!"