NationStates Jolt Archive


Capital Punishment Supplies Storefront

Kittlian
22-09-2005, 04:52
Try to keep this to IC only, any suggestions you may have should be TGed to me, thanks.

The Original URL (Previously owned by Roach-Busters) can be found Here (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=372704&page=1&pp=15).
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Latest Changes: Wednesday, September 21st, 2005 at 11:52 PM EDT:
It may take some time for me to do the pictures (I actually might have to relook them up, I had them on my other computer I think).

Rules:
1) You must do your own math. All prices are in kinghts, which is the currency of Kittlian (Please convert).
2) Please list all discounts you may recieve, I will calculate.
3) IC Roleplay posts please (Country buys bla bla bla)
4) None of these can/will be used against Kittlian (Current owners), Kittlian's Ally, and/or Roach-Busters (Previous owners).
5) Enemys of Kittlian, RB, and/or Defense Network (The region Kittlian is in) cannot buy from this store.

Discounts:
The following are people who will recieve discounts -

1) Regional allys (anyone in the region): 10%
2) Preferred members (ask and we may accept): 20% - (N/A)
3) Allies: 25% - N/A

For a short time only, we will be offering 5% off each order, however this will only last until September 28th, 2005!

Custom Orders:
We can make you custom divices, but the price will depend on how many and what, if you want something brand new--not a real device--we can do this if you want something not on here we can do that too.

Complaints, Suggestions, etc:
If you have any complains and/or suggestions TG me (this is to keep this thread IC). If you would like to be a preferred member then ask here in a IC state please. If your nation has a complaint, which is IC, then you may post here ICly.

Budget:
Current Store Quota: $0.00

Any prices that come from us, such as travel (we ship it with no cost to you) will come from 1) Administration 2) Defense and 3) Law & Order.
-----

(IC)

Hello, and welcome to the Kittlian Capital Punishment Supplies Storefront (KTCPSS). Here we sell all sorts of things you'll need for administering justice to criminals condemned to death by law. Want to execute someone as cheaply as possible? You've come to the right place! Here at KTCPSS, we sell our products at ridiculously low prices, to ensure the customer's satisfaction! Although our variety is rather limited, the satisfaction of using this stuff to execute scumbags is not!

My name is Captain. T Sinyaia of Kittlian's Defense Core (Army branch) and I will be glad to take any of your orders. However, if you have a suggestion please TG me, thank you. And now, the money you have all been waiting for, our items:

Electric Chair $750

Comes with an electric chair, leather belts for strapping the prisoner, three electrodes (two for the leg and one for the head), a razor (to shave the head and legs to improve conductivity), a helmet, a face mask, a sponge, brine (to soak the sponge, to increase conductivity and reduce burning), and a diaper (some of the prisoner's physical reactions include urinating and defecating in his/her pants). The directions are simple: shave, strap, attach the electrodes (don't forget the sponge for the head), put the face mask and helmet on the prisoner, and push the button. Between 1700 and 2400 volts will be delivered, destroying the brain and central nervous system and causing complete paralysis, due to every muscle in the body contracting and staying contracted while the current is flowing (making heartbeat and respiration impossible). Be sure to administer a second shock afterwards to ensure that the heart does not resume beating. Deliver additional shocks if necessary.


Rope $1.50 per foot

For hanging. Self-explanatory.


Lethal Injection $250 per dose

(NOTE: Gurney and straps not included) Includes a 14-inch catheter, 10 ml of a Heperin solution (to prevent clots from forming inside the catheter), 1000 ml of a saline solution, and finally, the chemical itself (a mixture of 15 - 50 cc of Sodium thiopental, 15-50 cc of Pancuronium bromide, and and 15 - 50 cc of Potassium chloride) which is used to kill the prisoner.


Gas Chamber $25,000 (Comes with a lifetime supply of gas)

(Again, straps not included) Includes a special chair, sulfuric acid mixed with distilled water, and cyanide (which is added to the mixture, causing hydrogen cyanide gas to rise through holes in the chair).


Barney and Friends Video $10 VHS $15 DVD (idea courtesy of The Island of Rose)

(VCR/DVD player not included) Instills in the prisoner such profound terror that the prisoner dies of a fear-induced myocardial infarction. Because it causes death quite quickly, it is not recommended against prisoners that you would like to kill slowly and painfully. However, the mortality rate is 100%, the price is low, and it isn't as messy as some other methods...


Teletubbies Video $10 VHS $15 DVD (idea courtesy of New Kyushu)

Same effect as the Barney and Friends video.


Guillotine $150 (idea courtesy of Johnified Antarctica)

Like the Barney and Friends Video, this is recommended for those who wish to execute their prisoners in a swift manner.


Tickle-me-Elmo Doll $20

For the true sadist! If you want your prisoner to reeeeeeeeeeeeeally suffer, this is the thing to buy! Use with extreme caution!


Swimming Pool Filled With Piranhas $3,000

Yeouch! These li'l fishies'll strip the meat off your prisoner's bones and reduce 'em to a gleaming skeleton in minutes! Comes with a 10x10 foot swimming pool, 5 feet deep, and 250 piranhas.


Giant anvil $10,000

WHAM! That's gotta hurt!


Cage of Lions $15,000 (idea courtesy of Doomingsland)

A 25x25 foot cage with indestructible titanium bars and a door that can only be opened from the outside, ensuring no escape. Comes with 10 lions. Boy, these cats sure do look hungry...


Cross $400 (idea courtesy of Doomingsland)

For crucifying criminals (obviously).


Genetically-enhanced Super Monkies $250 per monkey (again, courtesy of Doomingsland)

A bad-ass, bloodthirsty, rabble-rousing, rampaging monkey with super-strength, super-speed, and one mean attitude! Yikes! Better keep an eye on him!


Firing Squad $500

Ten men in black suits and executioner masks, each wielding a submachine gun. They will be sent to your country via helicopter, kill the criminal, accept payment, and return to Kittlian.


Saw Mill $3,500

For cutting prisoners in half.


Plastic Bag with String Attached $5.00 (Includes 50 bags) (idea courtesy of New Logan)

For suffocating prisoners.


Flamethrower $650 (idea courtesy of The Lightning Star)

For roasting your prisoners like chicken. Can also be used as a weapon in battle.


Britney Spears Concert Video $10 VHS $15 DVD (idea courtesy of Sarzonia)

The prisoner literally dies of boredom watching this!


Stabbing Hobos $100 per hobo (idea courtesy of The Lightning Star)

Not only are they homeless, they're homicidal! They even come with knives! Yowza!


Generian Extremely Irate Red Lobsters $20 per lobster (idea courtesy of Generic empire)


Well, they're big red shellfish with claws that taste delicious in a pulled butter sauce with a good red wine. These happen to be particularly irate, and are most useful for causing bodily harm to unfortunate criminals, political prisoners, etc.


Air Lock $150 (idea courtesy of DemonLordEnigma)

For suffocating prisoners to death. Also great for torturing prisoners.


Good 'Ole Axe and Block $75 (idea courtesy of Neo Tyr)

For decapitating prisoners. Just place their head on the block, swing your axe, and BLAM! I sure wouldn't want to be in that poor bastard's shoes!


Iron Maiden $875 (idea courtesy of Nation of Fortune)

An upright-standing coffin filled with spikes. Insert the prisoner and close. Ugh. Doesn't sound too comfortable!


Bag of Stones $10 (idea courtesy of Axario)

Includes a large leather bag containing more than 1,000 football-sized, silky-smooth rocks at least as hard as diamonds. For stoning prisoners.


Giant Clock of Doom $10,000 (idea courtesy of Nutropinia)

A giant clock with razor sharp hands. You place the person on the number of the time you would like them to die. Then you leave them there while the clock ticks to their doom.


Torture Rack $350 (idea courtesy of The Parthians)

Highly recommended for those who wish to torture their prisoners in the most gruesome manner possible.


Breaking wheel and sledgehammer $550 (idea courtesy of The Parthians)

If you really want your prisoners to 'break down,' this is the thing to get!

Impaling stake $40 (idea courtesy of The Parthians)

For impaling prisoners (as you probably guessed).

Pit and Pendulum $300.00 (Idea giving by Kerubia)
An art form to say the least! It swings around the person, as all they can do is watch, while it gets closer and closer until it goes back out again and finally to cut their body in twos or even threes or fours! Not a toy for anyone who is unwilling to wait.

Plutonium Chamber $2,000 (Without) $4,000 (With chairs/straps) (Original idea giving by SovietRepublicofRussia)
Not just plutonium but a chamber which gives off the radiation, in a shielded chamber, which is 99.5% gurranted not to let loose the radiation. Plutonium, expensive but a quite interesting way of dying. The gamma rays in the plutonium cause the human tissue to disintergrate leaving a pile of irradiated bones. We can throw in either a bed and/or a chair, along with straps to tie them down so you can either watch them trying to escape or screaming helplessly as they die, but the door can only open from the outside (Don't get locked in!). Ten plutonium canisters will be giving will be giving, no more no less unless requested, for every extra plutonium we will charge $1000.

40-foot Cross (Stake), One hundred Coals, and Rope (Original idea by MassPwnage)
Standard Burning at the Stake. Coals burn extremely slowly to ensure maximum pain. Your prisonor will go through a lot of pain, it will not only burn slowly but to get air they have to raise up, but in order to do this they must suffer even more bruises and pain just to breathe not to mention the slowly building fire to cause physical and psychological pain.

William Shatner Comedy Tape VHS $5.00 DVD: $10.00 (Original idea by MassPwnage)
This will have your prisonors gasping for breath as Bill continues on and and on about his childhood days of fungus infection...

Huge Crusing Weights $50.00 (Original idea by MassPwnage)
These huge weights each weighing 150 pounds will begin to crush your criminal once they are strapped down - no straps nor surfaces included.

Spiked Chair $100.00
Want a place to tortore your victims over tea and crumpets? Well have them sit in this chair, which comes with metal spikes straps and leg support, so no more comfortible seating for them! No now you can watch them scurm as you laugh at their pain...

Spiked Electric Char $200.00
Comes with a spiked electric chair, leather belts for strapping the prisoner, three electrodes (two for the leg and one for the head), a razor (to shave the head and legs to improve conductivity), a helmet, a face mask, a sponge, brine (to soak the sponge, to increase conductivity and reduce burning), and a diaper (some of the prisoner's physical reactions include urinating and defecating in his/her pants). The directions are simple: shave, strap, attach the electrodes (don't forget the sponge for the head), put the face mask and helmet on the prisoner, and push the button. Between 1700 and 2400 volts will be delivered, destroying the brain and central nervous system and causing complete paralysis, due to every muscle in the body contracting and staying contracted while the current is flowing (making heartbeat and respiration impossible). Be sure to administer a second shock afterwards to ensure that the heart does not resume beating. Deliver additional shocks if necessary.

Small Spiked Bench $50.00
Tired of the big chairs? Want them to have to crouch while being hurt, well then this is perfect for you, have fun making them scurm!

Large Bird Cage $150.00
Want to have a new pet which begs instead of squalling, want to watch it try to null on the metal re-enforced bars, while trying to hold in its human desires?

Human Suit $200.00
Force them to stand up inside a suit specificly for them, while unable to move at all, but beg for mercy as you can do anything to them!

Body Hanging $150.00
This machine will actually hange the entire body, takes two people to operate, afterall you don't want them to fall....

Face Mask Cold (Cannot) : 100.00 Hot (Can heat): $200.00
Want to put that person in a forged metal helmet, want to burn them or simply have them in it? You may need to heat as required and we can even give you any shape you wish!

Backscratcher $200.00
Do they have an itch, well then go ahead and scratch it for them, but I hope it helps...

Pointed (Triangle) Seat $150.00
This is gurranted to hurt, so if you wish for more information feel free to ask, but it's only for those who really wish to cause pain....

Brain Plate $500.00
Make sure to lay them down, no gurranties giving if you don't, but it should hurt them....

Throat Tickler $700.00
Well this should really help with those neckaches they are always complaining about....

Double pitchfork $400.00
I gurrantee this will hurt them, so make sure only to use when required, blood tends to stain....

Death by Gorilla $200.00 (Suggested by Cotland / Edited by me)
The person in question are soaked with female gorilla scent and locked into a cage filled with horny male Kittlian Gorillas. They will rape the person untill he/she are dead.
To ensure that the gorilla males are horny, we have let them spend two days with a female gorilla, tranquilized them and taken the female away. They will then be sent to your country, in a cage, but he will still be horny. It will go after the first thing that smells like the female gorilla, in this case the prisoner.

Death by minefield $500.00 (Suggested by Cotland / Edited by me)
We have taken the liberty to setup 10 minefields (4km x 4 km -- 4 kilometer = 2.4854848 mile), guarded by ten Kittlian-Trained snipers (outside of the minefields), as well as five satelite probes (used for watching the victim -- to ensure you get a perfect view of their death).
The person in question is flown to and dropped into a minefield (costs on us) and must find his/her way out, even if they do they will be shot, or if you prefer given back to you for more punishment.
Each minefield contains in average 300 000 mines of every sort imaginable. Claymores, Bouncing Bettys, Schumine, etc.

A pen of starved pigs $5.00 (Includes a pen, 5 starved pigs, a knife and rope -- Suggested by The machine warriors)
Starved pigs will eat anything you put to them. Use the knife to chop of their arms and legs if you want(SO THEY CANT FIGHT BACK/or just tie them up)

Huge weights (Suggested by MassPwnage / Edited by me):
$50.00 for 100 pounds $100.00 for 200 pounds $250 for 350 pounds -- Or $100 for each 100 pounds added past 350 ($350, $450, etc).
Spiked Weights cost 30.00 more then usual, with spikes on the handles and the weights, and yes handles are included with the weights (unless you specifiy otherwise).

To press victims to death. This can include a weightbench, where they can lay down and such, for an extra $50.00 -- A spiked bench w/ latches can be included for an extra $100.00.

Old Rusty Iron Saw $3.00
To saw the person in half, rope can be including for an extra 1.00 per feet (safe .50), which can also be used to tie them or hang them.
The rusty saw is great for cutting a victim both slowly and painfully, the rust provides a lot of hurt, as does the fact that most of the blades are cut a bit.

Reeds and rope $2.50
Can be used in three ways:

A) The criminal bound by either leg to the tops of two neighboring trees, which have been bent down and forcibly drawn together, and will presently be suddenly let go again.
B) The criminal tortured by having sharp reeds stuck under his/her finger and toe nails.
C) Doing both at the same time.

Large sewing kit & knife or sharp-pointed stake $3.50
This is used to open their body, bring out one of their inwards (such as liver) and forcing them to eat it / eatting it, and then closing it up before any major damage is done. This is to keep them alive longer and to provide a chance for more torture.

Movie Compilation of Presidential Speeches $5.00 (Suggested by SkyCapt)
The presidents are those of many nations. As is obvious, it would be cuts of the most boring parts of boring speeches. As that takes some time, the movie lasts approximately 9 1/2 hours. However, people subjected to this usually last only 6 hours. Perfect for long tortuous deaths.
Kittlian
22-09-2005, 19:19
(OOC)
Bumpage.
SkyCapt
22-09-2005, 22:28
To: Capital Punishment Supplies Storefront
From: The Incorporated States of SkyCapt

We have an item to offer:
Movie Compilation of Presidential Speeches ($5.00)

If you choose to carry this in your storefront, we only want a meager 5% of all profits made off of the product.
Kittlian
22-09-2005, 22:39
To: Capital Punishment Supplies Storefront
From: The Incorporated States of SkyCapt

We have an item to offer:
Movie Compilation of Presidential Speeches ($5.00)

If you choose to carry this in your storefront, we only want a meager 5% of all profits made off of the product.


To: The Incorporated States of SkyCapt
From: Capital Punishment Supplies Storefront
RE: Your offer.

To whom it may concern, firstly I would like to thank you for your suggestion and now a couple of questions:

Which nations President would it be, and be adviced we of Kittlian have no president. Our leaders choose to rule us, and as always they have done a great job, and how long would the movie be? I also assume it would be the more boring speaches, of the leader(s) / president, and once again thank you for your offer.

Signed,
Captain. T Sinyaia.
SkyCapt
22-09-2005, 22:54
To: Capital Punishment Supplies Storefront
From: The Incorporated States of SkyCapt

The presidents would be those of many nations. As is obvious, it would be cuts of the most boring parts of boring speeches. As that would take time, the movie lasts approximately 9 1/2 hours. However, people subjected to this usually last only 6 hours. Perfect for long tortuous deaths.
Kittlian
25-09-2005, 17:26
To: Capital Punishment Supplies Storefront
From: The Incorporated States of SkyCapt

The presidents would be those of many nations. As is obvious, it would be cuts of the most boring parts of boring speeches. As that would take time, the movie lasts approximately 9 1/2 hours. However, people subjected to this usually last only 6 hours. Perfect for long tortuous deaths.

To: The Incorporated States of SkyCapt
From: Capital Punishment Supplies Storefront
RE: Boring Speeches

I have talked it over with General Lumbenberg and he has agreed, this product will be added shortly and we would like to thank you for your suggestion, and of course you will be given %5 of the profits of this product.

Signed,
Captain. T Sinyaia.
Kittlian
30-09-2005, 04:35
(OOC)

Bump and added.
SeaQuest
21-11-2005, 21:40
OOC: A Barney video?! Dude, you are sadistic.