NationStates Jolt Archive

The doors at the back of the soundstage slide closed with a liquid slither, and the lights above the audience dim. A sign lights up with brilliant clarity, and the crowd erupts with applause. “And now,” says a booming voice, “here’s your host, Steven Jennings!” More applause bursts forth from the seated audience as a small, wiry man in a tacky yellow suit, complete with sequened sleeves, marches onto stage, an idiotic grin plastered on his thin face.

“Hello and welcome to Win! Or! Die!” says the man, “I’m your host, Steven Jennings! Tonight we will be witnessing some great action, ladies and gentleman. You all know the rules (insert link to the OOC thread here), so lets meet our contestants!” The big stage lights swing around on their pintel mounts to glare down on a cheap-looking plywood box, gaudily painted in red and gold livery. Inside stand the five contestants, nervous looks showing in their faces.

“On the far left we have a Mr. Michael Fonda, who is representing the sovereign nation of Willink!” The far left section of the box strobes to life, brilliant LEDs displaying their light in a mocking imitation of joy.

“Next to him we have a Mr. Spiffy Mcspifface, representing Jenrak, and next to him is Mr. Frohos de Locos, representing Piglatnia!” The LEDs surrounding them lit up with no-less enthusiastic glee as each name was called. Steven Jennings smiled his broadest smile at the audience, and turned his attention back to the final two contestants.

“Finally we have Mr. Fen'Ris Sco'Lar! Yes, Mr. Fen'Ris Sco'Lar, who is representing The Fallen Races! He glanced back at the crowd and smiled even wider.

“And now lets see if they are ready! Contestants, are you ready?”

"Yes, Jennings I am ready. And I would like to take this time to thank you and all of the-" A buzzer cut him off...

Jennings coughed politely. "Contestants?"

OOC: Just ignore DMGs post. It isnt part of this round.

"I'm ready to win, Mr. Jennings!" shouted an elven voice. Fen'Ris Sco'Lar stepped up to his posium and waited.

Yes i am Steve, ready to kick some a** ! Yelled Mike.

"Ya! Good money! I want Good money! Money! Good money!" He yelled frantically, in a strong asian accent.

"yes Mr. Jennings i am very much ready just let me adjust my hearing aid"

Jennings beamed and laughed. "You all seem ready to win the TEN MILLION DOLLAR PRIZE! But are you also ready to DIE TYRING?!"

"Ya! For Good money! I die! For Good money!"

"Yes sir! Let me die for $10 million if I must!"

Mike yells woo and drinks a zema.

"I am so close it would be like sleeping Mr. Jennings"

The crowd goes wild. Someone throws a shoe at Jennings, who lapps it up.

"Haha, thats good news! Now, I will explain the format. I will ask you two logic questions, one at a time. You will have five minutes by my count to place an answer. When everyone has answered or time is up, I will say the correct answer and award points. After the two logic questions, you will get one of any of these catagories: Geography, Misc, Science, and History. Now, on to the first question!"

"Do they have a fourth of July in England?"

time starts now!

"I am so close it would be like sleeping Mr. Jennings"

Mike looks over at Frohos, and says: "What the heall is wrong wit u, boi ?"

*Buzz*

Yes, they do sir!

"no i don't believe but i havn't been to london in such a long time"

*buzz*

yes they have a fourth of july

The crowd goes wild. Someone throws a shoe at Jennings, who lapps it up.

"Haha, thats good news! Now, I will explain the format. I will ask you two logic questions, one at a time. You will have five minutes by my count to place an answer. When everyone has answered or time is up, I will say the correct answer and award points. After the two logic questions, you will get one of any of these catagories: Geography, Misc, Science, and History. Now, on to the first question!"

"Do they have a fourth of July in England?"

time starts now!


Yes they do, it is July 4th.

"More money!"

"oh my i seem to be out voted, where is my torch i will go put it out" the old man starts hobilling towards the back

All answers are in! And the answer is: Yes, they do! They just dont celebrate it as a holiday! That means that Mr. Sco'lar can assign a point to anyone, Mr. DMG* can assign a point, Mr. Fonda can assign a point, Mr. Mcspifface can assign a point, and Mr. Locos earns a point!

Who are you giving your points to, gentleman?

OOC: * DMG, I forgot your guys' name. Post it again please, in the OOC thread. Piglatnia, you got it wrong, so you automatically got a point. You only get kicked off the show when you get 15 points, however.

"I assign it to Mr. Locos."

All answers are in! And the answer is: Yes, they do! They just dont celebrate it as a holiday! That means that Mr. Sco'lar can assign a point to anyone, Mr. DMG* can assign a point, Mr. Fonda can assign a point, Mr. Mcspifface can assign a point, and Mr. Locos earns a point!

Who are you giving your points to, gentleman?

OOC: * DMG, I forgot your guys' name. Post it again please, in the OOC thread. Piglatnia, you got it wrong, so you automatically got a point.

"Give me a second i still can't find my torch do you know where it is."

"I give to Mr. Locos!"

I give my point to Frohos, blurts out Mr. Fonda.

Alright, that makes the score:

Locos: 4/15
Everyone else: 0/15

On to the next question!

"Dee Septor, the famous magician, said he could put a bottle in the center of a room and crawl into it. How?"

"The bottle is as large as himself, sir. You never mentioned the size of the bottle."

"i found my torch" says the old man as he returns with a burning stick " just let me blow it out" he starts to blow after a few seconds he gives up and just throws it behind him "oh look i have 4 points"

OOC: by my counting 4 correct me if i am wrong

"He used Deception"

" how big is the bottle because if it is realy big he could crawl through it"

"The bottle is ordinary in size, but since that was not specified, the judges say everyone gets it right! Who will you assign your points to, gentleman?"

"I assign it to the person from DMG."

" i think Mr. Spiffy Mcspifface should get mine he always seemed like a nice person to me"

"Dee Septor, the famous magician, said he could put a bottle in the center of a room and crawl into it. How?"

"The bottle was huge!"

"What was the actual correct answer? Oh, and I assign mine to Sco'Lar"

Also I would like to assign my point from last round to Sco'Lar as it was not vocalized at the time.

He doesn't specifically say he crawled into the glass, so an explanation is'nt needed, because he didnt.

Oh, and I assign mine to Sco'Lar"



Me too, yells Mike.

OOC: Why you all ganging up on me? DMG I understand, but why???

"The answer was: Dee Septor put a bottle in the center of a room, and went into another room. He then got on his hands and knees and crawled into the room where the bottle was.

Since you all nitpicked your way through it," Jennings paused and stuck his tongue out at the contestants, "I gave everyone points. By my reconing, the score is now:"

Mr. Sco'lar: 2
Mr. Smith: 1
Mr. Fonda: 0
Mr. de Loco: 4
Mr. Mcspifface: 1

On to the next question!

"Which European city has an old quarter called the Plaka?" (this is Geography)

*buzz*

Athens

" hmm plaka it was a while since i have been anywhere but i think it might be in Athens, Greece"

*Buzz*

Athens

Athens, yells Mike. (My aunt went there, they have a nice theatre in it.)

"Athens!"

"The answer was: Dee Septor put a bottle in the center of a room, and went into another room. He then got on his hands and knees and crawled into the room where the bottle was.

Since you all nitpicked your way through it," Jennings paused and stuck his tongue out at the contestants, "I gave everyone points. By my reconing, the score is now:"

Mr. Sco'lar: 2
Mr. Smith: 1
Mr. Fonda: 0
Mr. de Loco: 4
Mr. Mcspifface: 1


Why didn't Fonda get a point?

"Everyone is correct! Isnt that just horrible, ladies and gentleman?" Jennings asks the audience. They boo and throw more shows. Jennings looks slightly mad and calls security on the shoe-thrower. As they beat his head in with bricks, Steven turns back to the contestants.

"And now who gets your points?"

"I give to next person who say something!"

Why didn't Fonda get a point?

OOC: I didnt think anyone gave him one. That first round was hectic. i still didnt remember everyone's names. I dont know if he got one or not, but i dont think so.

" well poor mr. fonda has none so i will give mine to him"

"The point goes to Mr. Fonda for me."

OOC: I didnt think anyone gave him one. That first round was hectic. i still didnt remember everyone's names. I dont know if he got one or not, but i dont think so.

ooc: nvm, I thought you was just giving a point to everyone because they all got it wrong...

"I give my point to Mcspifface"

"Look like Mr. Fonda say, so go to him."

OOC: Sadly, I must go soon. So please have me killed after the next question somehow...?

The score is now:

Mr. Sco'Lar: 1
Mr. Smith: 1
Mr. Fonda: 3
Mr. de Loco: 4
Mr. Mcspifface: 2

And now here is your next question:

What five-letter word does every Harvard graduate pronounce wrong?

EDIT: OOC: Ok, man, that sucks Jenrak. Ill make sure your guy doesnt leave the stage after you answer this question.

*Buzz*

Wrong.

"Money!"

OOC: Something unexpected came up, so I can't anymore. Have fun killing my guy. My points can go to anyone.

*Buzz*

"Wrong"

ooc: I believe Sco'Lar has 2

" i have never been to harvard, so i don't know"

"Oh... times up... The answer was "Wrong," so Mr. Smith can assign a point, Mr. Sco'Lar can assign a point, and everyone else earns one!"

Just as Jennings turned to laugh at the crowd, a bored security guard hucks his brick at Mr. Mcspifface, who falls forward. Steven glares at the guard, who shrugs. After poking his eyeball for a moment, Jennings looks unperturbed.

"well now, I guess its just 4 contestants now!"

"To Mr. Smith it goes."

"I assign mine to Mr. Sco'Lar"

"oh my and he was such a nice man, and so younge too. Why didn't you kill me? i am so close to death it would have been nothing"

Because of Mr. Mcspifface's... retirement, his 6 points will be split amongst you evenly. Since there are two points left over after that, they will go to the two lowest scoring contestants. the score is now:

Mr. Sco'Lar: 4
Mr. Smith: 4
Mr. Fonda: 5
Mr. de Loco: 6

And your next question is:

Art Bragg claimed that, while on an African safari hunting a vicious lion, he slipped and broke his foot. Not to be put off, he managed to continue on long enough to track the lion and kill it. Then he said that while he was at the North Pole during the dead of winter, he caught a terrible cold, but was still able to track and kill a polar bear. Then, to top it off, while in a small boat off the coast of Florida, he was able to catch and land a shark, in spite of the fact that his arm was badly sprained. Although Art’s tales are hard to believe, on what point do you know he’s lying?

*Buzz*

Tracking a polar bear in the dead of winter.

"He wasn't lieing"

ooc: Again I repeat Mr. Sco'Lar has one more point than me... go back and check the posts...

a soft snoring comes from mr. Locos' booth.

"Oh... times up. The answer we were looking for was as follows:"

Art Bragg was defiantly lying when he said he caught a cold while at the North Pole in the dead of winter. One cannot catch a cold at the North Pole in the dead of winter because he temperatures are so low in this part of the world that cold germs cannot survive.

That means that everyone earns a point! Hurrah! The scores are now:

Mr. Sco'lar: 6
Mr. Smith: 5
Mr. Fonda: 6
Mr. de Loco: 7

Your next question is:

Which African country gained independence from Britain in 1962? (History)

OOC: Your right, DMG. I fixed the scores.

Uganda

Mr. locos starts to writher and foam at the mouth, then he starts having convulsions foaming all over the other contestants. Sudenly he stops moving foam still comming from his mouth.

OOC: i have homework still and it is 8:15 where i am so i have to stop, also i must have subconciously put this together because i didn't plan it this way.

*Buzz*

Rwanda and Burundi.

(But don't you mean Belgium?)

The answer was: Uganda! That means Mr. Smith gets to assign a point, Mr. Fonda earns one, and Mr. Sco'Lar earns one! Unfortunatly, with Mr. de Loco dead, his points go to you three. The scores are now:

Mr. Sco'Lar: 8
Mr. Smith: 8
Mr. Fonda: 8

Who will you assign your point to, Mr. Smith?

EDIT: OOC; You there Willink?

ooc: They should have nine a piece, if you gave two of Locos to them +1 for getting the answer wrong

"I assign it to Sco'lar"

Alright, Mr. Sco'Lar now has 9 points! On to the next question!

Professor Quantum has two coins, which total 35 cents. Since one of the coins is not a dime, what are the two coins?

OOC: No, Mr. de Loco expired before he could answer.

*Buzz*

A quarter and a dime. (Only one has to be something other than a dime.)

A quarter and a dime

*Buzz*

A quarter and a dime. (Only one has to be something other than a dime.)

ooc: you dont have to explain your answer... if it is right - than I am sure he gets it...

"You are both correct, but it seems Mr. Fonda has gone comatose. Therefore, his points will be given to you two, and then I will automatically add the points you both earned to each other. The score is now:

Mr. Sco'Lar: 14
Mr. Smith: 13

The next question is:

Which one of the three would see most clearly in total darkness? A leopard, a bat, or an owl?

*Buzz*

None. (They need some light to see.)


OOC: Wait...I'm doomed, aren't I?

none, you cant see in total darkness...

You are both correct! Unfortunatly, that means that Mr. Sco'lar now has 15 points... Mr. Smith, as the man who gave him his final point, you have three options of how to have him killed. Please choose one:

A) Pour cement up to his shins and force him to drink molten gold

B) Set him on fire while playing "The best of Michael Bolten"

C) String him upside down and dunk his head in a vat of dog urine.

Its hard debate...

Molten Gold or Michael Bolton...

I am going to have to go with Michael Bolton

"Good choice! However, I would have gone with the gold... Anyway, you are the champion!"

Ropes suddenly let down from the catwalks above the stage and men dressed as clowns but with masks of a jakal grab Mr. Sco'Lar and fling him out of the box. A dome-like glass structure is lowered over him, and while he screams and beats on the windows, fumed gasoline is pumped in. A button is set down in front of Mr. Smith.

"If you would do the honors?" enquires Steven.

"Gladly.." Tim pushes the button...

Glass vents no larger than a fist open up in the dome, allowing air in. A spark started by the cord starts an explosive fire inside the dome, and flames leap ten feet out of the holes. Mr. Sco'Lar burns, while speakers are brought out by sound technicians. They begin blaring Michael Bolten and maximum volume, and Mr. Smith is given a pair of ear muffs.

Sco'Lar thrashes for a few seconds, before the boiling gasoline gushing into his rupture esophogaus cooks his internal organs.

"Now, Mr. Smith, since you are the champion, you have the option of going for the bonus round. Plus, you get the $10 million dollar prize! Are you up for the bonus round? It pays an extra $1 billion!"

OOC: Good game everyone, good game. By the way, the bonus round wouldnt be today. id TG you the time and date.

"I would rather just take my money and run, but thanks for the oppurtunity."

ooc: too lazy

"Alright then! Lets have a hand for Mr. Smith!" The audience goes wild, even though several are bleeding from the ears from all the Michael Bolten.

"thus concludes another episode of Win! Or! Die! Join us next time for another great show! Good night!"

The cameras pan out and leave Mr. Jennings discussing the finer points of water torture with Mr. Smith, who is edging towards the door.

EDIT: OOC: glad that's over, lol.