NationStates Jolt Archive

In a highly publicized landmark case, the Supreme Court voted 7-4 in favor of legalizing Catholicism. Jay Topleski stated the majority's position:

"We have deemed that Roman Catholicism has not been a threat to any other religion for over 350 years. Only have Protestants caused trouble by ruthlessly trying to convert other religions. Although Catholics started many wars and probably caused more death and destruction, it is likely because the people thought like Protestants. Therefore, Catholics must be allowed to worship and their churches should be reinstated. In addition, £ 25 million in damages must be distributed equally amongst the churches, according to their membership amount."

The dissenting leader, Vladmir Ilyidge Leno had this to say:

"All Christians have been a plague on humanity and only seek to destroy other religions and atheism without second thoughts. Their practice and all Christian practices should remain banned in public."

Majority:
Jay Topleski
Alan Grant
Kelly Spelzburg
James Underwood
Alistair Fitzgerald
James Noureish
Mel Ziller

Dissent:
Vladmir Ilyidge Leno
Zao Medong
Moe Chimney
Sofia Jalin


In other court news, the ban on whiskey and ale has been lifted in the province of Reddingham by the Reddingham Provinicial Court. The opposition, a coalition of soccer moms and progressives, has vowed to appeal it in the Supreme Court. Whiskey is a traditional Sel Appan liquor between ale and beer in traditionalism. It has been brewed for centuries, usually from barley, and was usually drunken at feasts and holidays.

The court has also legalized beer for non-religious purposes. Chancellor Ngu Phuok Dinh has promised that being drunk outside the home or tavern will not be tolerated. Heavy fines will be levied with upcoming legislation.

On the flawless, deserted streets of Centralville, capital of the Federation of Joint Conglomerates...

Human Resource #9823-04A is returning to his Laborer Habitation Unit for three hours of alloted "Personal Time" (under very close surveillance and scrutiny, of course) before reporting to his twelve hour shift at CyberTech Industries. #9823-04A walks briskly, looking straight ahead, thinking of nothing (for it is not his purpose to think, after all). Suddenly, the strangest thing occurs. Out of the corner of his company-paid-for eye, he sees a piece of large paper lying on the ground. This being the most astonishing thing to ever occur to #9823-04A, he stopped and for an entire thirty minutes simply stared at it. Finally, he slowly approached the paper, picked it up and looked at it. Now, he was a very rare type of worker, one that was specially trained in the otherwise illegal practice of "reading," an ability that was tragically necessary to his function. He held the paper before his eyes and "read" the first line: "Supreme Court Legalizes Catholicism"...

After he was finished with the forbidden task of "reading" the piece of paper, he suddenly became aware of things he had not been aware of before. For example, why was this high crime of "reading" such an awful thing? Why did everyone dress the same? What existed beyond the walls of the Federation of Joint Conglomerates?...

#9823-04A heard the black stealth helicopter before he saw it, but by then of course it was too late. A tear rolled down his cheek. He had realized that he had Free Will... He had realized that he was an individual person, not a component of a corporation... And now the commandos in black were about to shoot him in the head, and take that realization back...

MEMO
TO: THE GOVERNMENT OF SEL APPA
FROM: CHAIRWOMAN DEBRA MACKENSAY, FOREIGN RELATIONS MINISTER, CEO OF BIOGEN INDUSTRIES

A most greivous, unfortunate incident has occurred, the gravity and scope of which I cannot begin to describe. One of our happy, valued human resources was completley ruined yesterday afternoon when he obtained and yes, actually read, a newspaper. We had no option other than to terminate him before he was able to spread his new dangerous, insidious frame of mind to other human resources. The newspaper in question has been discovered to originate from the Sel Appan national press corps. Given the unprecedented setback in the Daily Efficiency Report filed for that particular day, the Federation of Joint Conglomerates sets forth the following demands:

- A complete, comprehensive accounting of how that newspaper could have possibly gotten behind Federation walls, let alone into our capital. The national security force is specially trained to screen any incoming items for such cartel. Thus, it must have been deliberatley placed there using organized counter-intelligence the scope of which would have had to come from a government, not a lone individual.

- Surrender of the person of persons who gave the order and coordinated this random act of terrorism to be dealt with in a manner that we feel to be appropriate.

- $10 million in damages to cover the cost of the lost human resource, the helicopter fuel expended to deliver the national security force to the scene and the bullet used to terminate the human resource.

Sel Appa has no more than twelve hours to meet these demands. If you fail to comply, the Federation of Joint Conglomerates will be forced to take drastic action.

(OOC: Shall we dance?)

The chancellor asked his aide: "Who the hell is this Debra Mackensay? And where the hell is Joint Conglomerates?"

Aide: "Sir, our records indicate that they are some sort of corporate police state."

"Really? Are they a threat?"

The aide peered at his pocket computer. "Not really, they are a strict corporate state. The people are not allowed to do anything except live, work, and eat. They are called "human resources" and have no rights at all."

"And they claim one of our newspapers appeared in their nation? How is this possible?"

"It is quite possible a delivery plane to a nearby nation may have lost a few papers. They should be accounted as missing or undelivered."

The chancellor composed a message on his own P-C and sent it to the wiring service:

TO: Joint Conglomerates
FROM: Chancellor Ngu Phuok Dinh, Sel Appa
We are not at all scared by your threats and any further threats will be taken as an act of war. We have vast resources that could easily wipe out your small nation. You have been warned. It is not our fault for accidental delivery of any of our products.

Chairman Stryker threw the communique onto the mahoganey conference table and stared at it. Then all at once he began to laugh hysterically, the kind of laughter shared only by the psychotic. After he composed himself he muttered "Oh... Oh, dear. The poor little fools." He heaved a great sigh and looked around at the other eleven members of the Joint Conglomerations, smiling, and said, "Sel Appa?" The executives all laughed out loud. One muttered "Sounds like one of our low priced carbonated energy drinks." After the laughter died down, Stryker swiveled in his chair to look at Chairwoman Mackensay seated at his right.

"Debra, why are you expending resources on this... this joke? For God's sake, he told us he wasn't afraid of us." Another round of laughter. "Clearly Prime Minister Dungh Fugh Whatever is somewhat out of touch with things, hm?"

"Chairman, for God's sake. For the first time in the history of this enterprise, a human resource regained independent thought... It troubled me a great deal."

"I understand, of course. I'm sure we all do." He gestured to the assemblage of CEOs. "You were concerned for the efficiency of our corporate productivity, most admirable of you." He leaned forward, fixed her with one of his icy, inhuman stares and in a hushed voice said, "But perhaps your energies as Foreign Relations Minister would be better directed at the many inconveniences resultant of this 'Emergency Crash Transmission' fiasco."

The two executives stared at one another and after what seemed like an eternity, Chairman Stryker looked across the conference table and said, "Well! I do believe that concludes our agenda for today. Meeting ajourned... Oh, and Laszlo?"

Chairman Michael Laszlo (Internal Affairs Minister and CEO of CyberTech Industries) looked up and said, "Yes, Chairman?"

"Should we ever hear from this ridiculous Sel Appan president again, would you be so good as to dispatch one of the Black Agents to tear out his heart?"

Laszlo smiled. "It would give me pleasure, Stryker."

OOC: We don't have a president, we have a chancellor. Also, this might make an interesting war. Do you want to start a new thread or keep going here?

The chancellor walked with the Minister of Defense, Colonel Jefferson Franklin, down the long hallway to the minister's office. They were discussing the increasing threat from Joint Conglomerates.

"Colonel, the threat seems real and live, but what could such a small nation do to us?"

"I've looked over our files on them and called in a few favors from (Lead) Phoenix (a terrorist group with suspected ties to Sel Appa) and they say that JC has a large military and capability, but we could easily defend a full invasion from them."

"Well they threatened my life and I don't think Sel Appans will take that lightly. We should do something soon."

"We shouldn't act hastily, sir, because we are involved in two rebellions already. Anvorbuod is almost subdued and nearly destroyed for that matter, but the Populists seem to be gaining."

"Yes, I met with their leader and we seem to agree that it might be better for them to go political and lay down their arms. He is going to start the process of doing so and they should be taking part in the next elections."

"Hmm, an interesting development, but back to JC. I think we should tell them to well, "Bring it on!", but more subtle."

Chancellor Ngu Phuok Dinh proceeded to wire a message to JC:

FROM: SEL APPA
TO: JOINT CONGLOMERATES
SEL APPA DOES NOT TAKE YOUR THREAT ON MY LIFE EASILY. IF YOU CONTINUE TO THREATEN US, WE WILL GLADLY DEMONSTRATE OUR CAPIBILITY, BY REMOVING ONE OF YOUR CITIES. PLEASE BACK DOWN BEFORE YOU GET INTO SOMETHING FROM WHICH YOU WILL NOT RETURN.
SINCERELY,
CHANCELLOR NGU PHUOK DINH