NationStates Jolt Archive


Population Benchmark Reached

HotRodia
05-09-2005, 16:18
The Showroomtown Star
A HotRodia TeleComm Affiliate

Population Benchmark Reached
Article By: George Tollbooth

Last night our nation passed the population benchmark of four billion, and today the celebration begins. The Minister of Hospitality, Sam I Am, has announced that today will be a day of celebration for all HotRodians and anyone else who would like to come. All across the country, in villages, towns, and cities and the capital city, the parties are starting. There will no doubt be a great deal of HotRodia Tequila consumed, and many grills will be fired up. Most businesses are giving their employees the day off so that they can attend the festivities, and schools across HotRodia have cancelled classes for the day.
DMG
05-09-2005, 16:37
*claps*
HotRodia
05-09-2005, 16:43
The HotRodia Times
A HotRodia TeleComm Affiliate

Population Problem
Article By: Clarise Freeway

Today almost every HotRodian will be attending festivities in honor of our nation's new population benchmark. I will not be. Our out-of-control population growth is cause for serious concern, not frivolous festivals. As a result of the burgeoning birthrates and low deathrates in this nation, we have almost no natural habitats left for the accelerus rapidamus, our national animal. We can no longer see towering trees because we have paved everything over to make room for housing. Our cities are overcrowded, and if it were not for the advanced medical and sanitation technology we possess those cities would be breeding grounds for disease. Even so, we live in so-called "space-efficient" houses and have had to put millions of homes underground and in huge buildings that seem to scrape the sky itself. If our population keeps growing like this, we will soon have to move into space-based housing. Try to keep these things in mind today as you enjoy yourself. We need to be responsible caretakers of our nation, and part of that is making an effort to mitigate the dangerous effects of overpopulation.
HotRodia
05-09-2005, 16:59
The Garage Reporter
A HotRodia TeleComm Affiliate

Population and Economy
Article By: Nina Shifter

Population is great! I cannot imagine a greater boon to our economy than billions of hardworking, intelligent, considerate, and friendly people. The HotRodian people are what keps our economy going. We contribute to each other's prosperity by buying each other's goods and purchasing each other's services. It is we HotRodians who develop innovative technologies and find niche markets so that all HotRodians can find work that is interesting, beneficial, and fulfilling. It is we HotRodians who build the cars we drive, produce the food we eat, and ferment the drinks we drink. So keep it up, everyone, for the benefit of your fellow HotRodians.
HotRodia
05-09-2005, 17:12
The Margaritaville Tribune
A HotRodia TeleComm Affiliate

A Local Celebrity
Article By: Zander Wheels

Today in our great city a new celebrity was born. I mean that quite literally. Donna Rodiana, the eighth child born to parents William and Hannah, came into this world at 3:00 AM this morning. She is officially the four-billionth HotRodian as of today. She is already being showered with gifts from members of the community, and from the amount of donations that have been reported it looks as if she will have plenty of capital with which to start her own business once she grows up. I think we all hope that she, the new symbol of HotRodian success, will have a beautiful life here in our community. Vivianna Driveshaft, the owner of one of our historic bars, The Camshaft, is already hosting a party in the new arrival's honor. The parents of our new celebrity said this was all "overwhelming" and that they plan to attend the party so graciously hosted by Miss Driveshaft.
Thrashia
05-09-2005, 17:25
Bravo old chap, bravo.
Velkya
05-09-2005, 17:30
IC:

The Velkyan Airforce will now be making passes over your country dropping large quantities of beer and "Who farted T-Shirts". Good work.
Noddestan
05-09-2005, 17:38
The Noddestan Citizen
Beer Flood Kills Forty-Eight

Reports from nearby HotRodia claim forty-eight of its four billion citizens were killed earlier today when congratulatory beer was dropped by the Velkyan airforce on the city of Margaritaville. Preliminary reports show forty-seven drownings and one suffocation caused by a humorous t-shirt also dropped in congratulations.

This tragedy comes in the wake of HotRodia's recent street parties commemorating their forty billionth citizen's birth.
Willink
05-09-2005, 17:38
Willink congratualates the people of HotRodia, and will be sending hundreds of pounds of Hard Liquor and Guiness Draft, and tomato juice for hangovers, we also wish to kill Clarise Freeway.
The Candrian Empire
05-09-2005, 17:39
Official Response from the Candrian Empire:
"Congradulations on your child, Mr. and Mrs. Rodiana. Enclosed is a celebratory fruit basket, tickets to the your local movie theatre, and fl400,000; with any exchange taxes and fees to be paid for by the Dominion government.
HotRodia
05-09-2005, 18:03
HotRodia News Network
A HotRodia TeleComm Affiliate

Midday Update

[cheesy opening clip and music]
[camera focuses on the newsdesk]
[man on the left begins to speak]

Howdy folks! You are watching the Midday Update with myself, John Wayne, and my lovely co-anchor Marissa Chong.

[woman smiles and nods]
[woman begins speaking]

Thanks, John. Well, folks, today the big news is all about the population celebration in HotRodia. As you can see behind me, everyone is enjoying themselves.

[camera focuses on back wall screen]
[clip of partying HotRodians and BBQ]
[camera moves back to newsdesk view]

Indeed they are, Marissa. And parties like these are going on all over HotRodia, including at The Fuel Injector, the historic bar in HotRodia City famous for being the place where HotRodia Tequila was first made.

[woman begins to speak]

There is also a huge party at the Minister of Hospitality's mansion, where he is hosting a BBQ-eating contest for diplomats from all over the region of Texas and the world. He has invited us to cover this event later today. He has announced that he will be giving a press conference to thank the international community for their support.

[man touches earpiece]
[man begins to speak]

Folks we now have some breaking news. It seems that a group of HotRodians were killed when a Velkyan aircraft dropped some well-intentioned gifts. Our sources indicate that the HotRodians were drunk and not paying attention to what was happening, which was why they did not leave the area. This unfortunate tragedy ends our broadcast for now, but stay tuned for any updates on the situation on our Evening Edition.

[cheesy closing clip and music]
Velkya
05-09-2005, 18:08
The Noddestan Citizen
Beer Flood Kills Forty-Eight

Reports from nearby HotRodia claim forty-eight of its four billion citizens were killed earlier today when congratulatory beer was dropped by the Velkyan airforce on the city of Margaritaville. Preliminary reports show forty-seven drownings and one suffocation caused by a humorous t-shirt also dropped in congratulations.

This tragedy comes in the wake of HotRodia's recent street parties commemorating their forty billionth citizen's birth.

Damn, I knew our pilots should'nt have drank some of the beer before flying.
HotRodia
05-09-2005, 21:15
HotRodia News Network
A HotRodia TeleComm Affiliate

Evening Edition

[cheesy opening clip and music]
[camera focuses on the newsdesk]
[man on the left begins to speak]

Howdy folks! You are watching the Evening Edition with myself, John Wayne.

Today we are going to take you out into the heart of HotRodia and have a look at what our Minister of Hospitality has to say. The Minister himself, Sam I Am, is at his mansion and is in the press room getting ready to make a statement. Let's go to Marissa Chong, who's reporting live from said press room. Marissa?

[camera switches to live feed]
[woman smiles and nods]
[woman begins speaking]

Thanks, John. Well, folks, the latest news is that the Minister of Hospitality is going to make official statement today, which is a rare treat. In a few seconds we'll be hearing him make the announcement live on the air. It's supposed to be about the response of the international community to our population acheivement. Wait...he's taking the stage now. Let's listen.

[camera focuses on podium]
[Minister of Hospitality steps up]
[he begins to speak]

Howdy, y'all! I'm glad y'all could take the time to come out and join us here in the midst of HotRodia's celebrations. First of all, I want to thank all HotRodians for making this such a great country to live in. I'm happy to serve such great people as Minister of Hospitality. Secondly, I was greatly touched by the response of the international community to this event. I would like to thank the nations of DMG, Thrashia, Velkya, Willink, and the Candrian Empire for their generosity. On a less enjoyable note, my heart goes out to the families and friends who are affected by the unfortunate incident involving the Velkyan beer. That's all, and thank y'all for you time.

[Minister steps back from podium]
[camera focuses on Marissa]

Well you heard it straight from the horse's mouth today, folks. Back to you, John.

[camera switches back to newsdesk]
[man begins to speak]

Well that's our exclusive report for the night. Y'all enjoy the continuing festivities. See you tomorrow. I'm John Wayne, signing off for the Evening Edition here at the HotRodia News Network, the least boring name in news.

[cheesy closing clip and music]
Isselmere
05-09-2005, 21:43
His Majesty's Government sends your superb nation a crate of thirty-year-old whisky and two container lorries full of lager.

Congratulations on the big four nine-zero!
Ecopoeia
05-09-2005, 22:53
Congratulations to the people of HotRodia on this day of celebration. We do, however, echo the sentiments expressed by Ms Clarise Freeway and hope that the Tire-Burning Torque Empire will give greater consideration to environmental concerns in the future.

Best wishes
The Cloud-Water Community (pop. 14 million, approx.)
Noddestan
05-09-2005, 23:06
The Noddestan Citizen
Diplomat Chokes On Skewer

The Noddestani delegate, Mr Troy Chung (47), lies critically ill in hospital tonight after choking on a barbecue skewer. Mr Chung was attending a soiree held at the HotRodian Minister for Hospitality's mansion to celebrate that nation's four millionth birth.

The delegate had apparently entered a barbecue eating competition and had managed to consume most of the grill and approximately half of the implements before being taken ill.

Champion sword-swallower and local hero, Frederick Yates told the Citizen, "he really shouldn't have tried to cram the skewer in so fast. I know it was a competition where speed is of the essence, but you have to take your time with these things."

Mr Chung's family declined to comment.