Noddestan
02-09-2005, 23:20
The Citizen
"sponsored by the Noddestan government - looking out for you!"
"Babykiller" O'Shea Pardoned
The man that was once known as "babykiller" has finally been freed from incarceration. Thomas O'Shea was wrongfully convicted of murdering twelve children on nine seperate occasions during september 1980. He was brought to 'justice' after eight months of so-called police work under the corrupt former government. Fabricated evidence appeared to point to O'Shea as the only possible purportrator and 'eye-witnesses' singled him out as the one to blame.
O'Shea has always maintained his innocence, claiming his ties to freedom fighter Johnathon Swires who died heroically last month in the fight to depose the despicable former peacenik government.
Now O'Shea has been vindicated as his conviction was overturned by our glorious leader, and O'Shea's lifetime friend, President Dares. He will receive a hero's welcome upon his return to his home and family.
Ex-President's Sordid Sex Secrets
Rumours of ex-President Chamberlain's perverted sex games behind closed doors were revealed to be true yesterday after an unnamed source identified him. Hours after the charlatan was removed from power and placed under arrest, his lovers, (both male and female), came out of the woodwork to talk to the Citizen.
"He liked to tie me up," said one, showing bright red marks on her wrists and scathing lesions on her back.
"One time he watched as I licked another dude's ass," said another, also showing cigarette burns and whip marks on his torso and groin.
These allegations seem to back up what all true Citizens have known all along and further illustrate how right the revolution was and how noble a cause our bretheren died to protect.
President Dares commented only that he wasnt surprised at Chamberlain's conduct.
Employees To Face Stringent Testing
"Just as it is important for a man to be in a job which is he is good at," said government Minister for Work and Pensions, Xip Zou, "it is important that every man is paired with a job which suits his personality. We will therefore...
...continued page 7.
"sponsored by the Noddestan government - looking out for you!"
"Babykiller" O'Shea Pardoned
The man that was once known as "babykiller" has finally been freed from incarceration. Thomas O'Shea was wrongfully convicted of murdering twelve children on nine seperate occasions during september 1980. He was brought to 'justice' after eight months of so-called police work under the corrupt former government. Fabricated evidence appeared to point to O'Shea as the only possible purportrator and 'eye-witnesses' singled him out as the one to blame.
O'Shea has always maintained his innocence, claiming his ties to freedom fighter Johnathon Swires who died heroically last month in the fight to depose the despicable former peacenik government.
Now O'Shea has been vindicated as his conviction was overturned by our glorious leader, and O'Shea's lifetime friend, President Dares. He will receive a hero's welcome upon his return to his home and family.
Ex-President's Sordid Sex Secrets
Rumours of ex-President Chamberlain's perverted sex games behind closed doors were revealed to be true yesterday after an unnamed source identified him. Hours after the charlatan was removed from power and placed under arrest, his lovers, (both male and female), came out of the woodwork to talk to the Citizen.
"He liked to tie me up," said one, showing bright red marks on her wrists and scathing lesions on her back.
"One time he watched as I licked another dude's ass," said another, also showing cigarette burns and whip marks on his torso and groin.
These allegations seem to back up what all true Citizens have known all along and further illustrate how right the revolution was and how noble a cause our bretheren died to protect.
President Dares commented only that he wasnt surprised at Chamberlain's conduct.
Employees To Face Stringent Testing
"Just as it is important for a man to be in a job which is he is good at," said government Minister for Work and Pensions, Xip Zou, "it is important that every man is paired with a job which suits his personality. We will therefore...
...continued page 7.