NationStates Jolt Archive

((OOC: This was mostly Doomingsland's idea, though I contributed a bit.))

http://usera.imagecave.com/mobrule132001/GINNLogoImproved.bmp.jpg

Special Report: Protest Meets the Power Chord

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the Generian Imperial News Network, your source for the latest breaking news from around the world from a fair and balanced perspective. Tonight we take a look at a metal band that has been garnering attention for songs on its recent album that viciously attack the Sarzonian and Praetonian governments.

The band, calling itself Machine Gun, was relatively unheard of until a few weeks ago when they began playing a series of new songs that focused heavily on current events, particularly the outbreak of war between Sarzonia, Praetonia and the Gholgoth region. Made up of natives of Generia, Doomingsland, Borman, and Freudotopia, Machine Gun paints a stunningly accurate portrait of the two OMP allies as barbaric nations under the sway of warmongering tyrants in their newly released album "Their System Has Failed". The album, which has already sold more than 1,000,000 copies in the C A D region, features such gems as “The Legionnaire” which describes with grim detail the courageous efforts of ten Doom Legionnaires in holding off a force of over 100 bloodthirsty Sarzonian marines on the Inkanan coast.

Also included is a reworded cover of Iron Maiden’s “2 Minutes to Midnight” describing the brutality of Praetonian forces towards civilians, including the well publicized custom of encouraging soldiers to feast on unborn fetuses of pregnant victims. Other songs include “Sarzonian Idiot” detailing the immorality and stupidity of the Sarzonian government, “Run to the Hills (of Branwyn)” describing the genocide and oppression at the hand of the Sarzonian government that has occurred on the island turned Sarzonian colony for years, and “Doomingsland Aces High” about the efforts of the heroic Doomingsland airforce unit Mobius Squadron in battling Sarzonian air units during the Inkanan Civil War.

With the increased fame and popularity, the band has begun scheduling what they are calling a “free world” tour, which they hope will allow them to spread their message internationally and allow the truth about Sarzonian and Praetonian government corruption to be known.”

Official Imperial Purchase:

To: Big Dick Records
From: Emperor Bhalk

It's good to see that Rob and his band are doing something useful. Several million people in our nation already have copies, so we'll just take, let's say 2.1 billion copies of it. It will soon be required listening for Borman citizens.

Official Imperial Purchase:

To: Big Dick Records
From: Emperor Bhalk

It's good to see that Rob and his band are doing something useful. Several million people in our nation already have copies, so we'll just take, let's say 2.1 billion copies of it. It will soon be required listening for Borman citizens.

From the desk of Richard McBrain, CEO, Big Dick Records-

Consider it done. The order should come to 21 billion US dollars. We will begin shipping as soon as the funds are transferred.

Big Dick Records: Absolutely, positively NOT a puppet of the Generian Imperial Government

OOC:Sorry for this, but I assume that when we go to war (if we ever do) then they will sing anti-Yafor 2 songs? Shame, I like heavy metal in Real Life...

OOC:Sorry for this, but I assume that when we go to war (if we ever do) then they will sing anti-Yafor 2 songs? Shame, I like heavy metal in Real Life...

((OOC: Metal rules, but to answer your question, yes they probably will.))

From the desk of Richard McBrain, CEO, Big Dick Records-

Consider it done. The order should come to 21 billion US dollars. We will begin shipping as soon as the funds are transferred.

Big Dick Records: Absolutely, positively NOT a puppet of the Generian Imperial Government

Money Wired

Anti-Sarzonia CD debuts at number 6 in Sarzonia

Nicksia (ASP) -- A controversial CD by a heavy metal band representing CAD region nations including Generic Empire, Borman Empire, and Doomingsland debuted at number 6 on the Sarzonian music charts, outselling perennially hot sellers like the Praefeles and Fennerby, selling in excess of 1.2 million copies after its release.

Parliamentary officials announced that President Mike Sarzo was "amused" by the references in the songs on Machine Gun's CD, Their System Has Failed, calling it "comical."

"They're so far off base with what they've recorded on this CD," Sarzo said. "This CD should be a contender for the humour album charts."

On a more serious note, Sarzo said he refused to sign an executive order banning the CD from sales, noting Sarzonia's tradition of freedom of speech and in spite of the war and the recent spectre of anti-war protests during the Inkana war, said the album should be listened to "with a grain of salt and the decibel level down.

"I seriously doubt anyone with half a brain is going to believe the [crap] that's on that CD," Lieutenant President Nicole Lewis said. "It's so ridiculous and stupid. But the artwork's off the hook. I'll use it as a coaster!"

Sarzonian music industry executives say it's impossible to predict how well the CD will sell in later weeks, but suggested that Plantinum-level sales (10 million copies) were possible "within a couple months."

The album has already earned the Sarzonian industry designations for Bronze (500,000 copies) and Silver (1 million copies).

From: Emperor Saul Hudson
To: Richard McBrain, CEO, Big Dick Records

I listened to the latest Machine Gun album, "Their System Has Failed" just a few hours ago, and I felt compelled to tell you that you, sir, have discovered a bright, blinding ball of genius, a miniature supernova of sound, a band that rocks so hard, I had trouble standing up straight listening to them. Damn. I wish to congratulate you on producing such a marvelous album.

From: Emperor Saul Hudson
To: Richard McBrain, CEO, Big Dick Records

I listened to the latest Machine Gun album, "Their System Has Failed" just a few hours ago, and I felt compelled to tell you that you, sir, have discovered a bright, blinding ball of genius, a miniature supernova of sound, a band that rocks so hard, I had trouble standing up straight listening to them. Damn. I wish to congratulate you on producing such a marvelous album.

From the desk of Richard McBrain, CEO, Big Dick Records-

Your Majestic Grace, Emperor Saul Hudson,

I am honored that you find the work of my clients so appealing, and have sent you a special edition of "Their System Has Failed" complete with a bottle of Black Death Vodka as my personal gift. With regard to the upcoming tour, I believe the band's manager mentioned something to me about kicking things off in Phantasmo. You may want to get in touch with him.

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Anti-Sarzonian Album Released
Page 5 - The Parliamentarian

"A bizarre album been released in music shops across the nation critising the Sarzonian government of corruption and brutality and the Praetonian government of various vicious acts against unspecified civilians. The album, which originated in Generic Empire, was obtained from the internet and is being distributed by the Praetonian music industry, although under the terms of the embargo imposed on Generic Empire, the band responsible for the work is not receiving royalties.

"The album, which entered the Sarzonian charts at number 6, has failed to impress Praetonian audiences, entering the charts at number 98. Although the album has failed to make much of an impact on the general public, the band's (called Machine Gun) reworked cover of '2 Minutes to Midnight' has become something of an anthem to the extreme left, including several anarchist and communist groups which have been described by the Imperial Yeomanry and Military Intelligence as "terrorists".

"Despite the album's moderate success, many music distributors are considering pulling the work following a series of firebomb attacks on branches of Bulldog Music which ran an advertising campaign for the album which was later banned by Advertising Standards for being '...disgusting and depraved". The adverts allegedly featured computer generated images depicting the events described in '2 Minutes to Midnight', although the company insists that they were merely meant to depict "the horror of war".

"Many Imperialist and Tory groups have been calling for the album to be banned, but the office of the Lord Chancellor has said that any such move would be "illegal and worrying". The Prime Minister brushed off questions concerning the album, saying that it was "Petty and unimaginative propaganda about as convincing as a fish at a tiger convention" Despite its initial contraversy, it is expected that the album will disappear in short order."

Gyrobot critics calls the machine gun: Like the M16 rifle: flawed

The music industry in Gyrobot today has heard the machine guns album and their opinion was this: Pure Government Progaganda. The critics though of the album as just regulated rock. One critic said this:

"Personally I have no qualms with anti government music really. I mean we got freedom of speech. The problem with the artists who made this piece of shit is that their nation's a dictatorship. If it a democratic nation then alls fair in love and war, but since their nation isnt one, it just feels like government approved music."

The album was vastly unpopular in terms of sales, many owners of media stores and such refuse to sell the brand but instead offered it up for download so the owners dont lose much monetary funds from it. The albums other say is a response to Doomsday's Parthian Idiot Album, which self explanitory have songs that describe the Shah as an idiot. However unlike the Machine Gun album's targets. Doomsday's album was banned expectedly.

Generia City Times

'Their System Has Failed' Remains Firmly on Top, World Tour Set to Begin-

After the overwhelmingly successful debut two weeks ago of the heavily anti-Sarzonian album 'Their System Has Failed,' recorded by the band Machine Gun and produced by Big Dick Records, the album remains at number one on charts throughout the CAD region, including the band members' homelands of Generia, the Borman Empire, Doomingsland, and Freudotopia, and has debuted at a number 6 position on Sarzonian charts. Criticism of the album as 'government propaganda' by the governments of several nations including Sarzonia, Praetonia, and Gyrobot did not stop the band from continuing preparations for a world tour set to begin this week in Phantasmo, Freudotopia and take Machine Gun through major cities in Generia, Borman, Doomingsland, Parthia, and dozens of other nations. The record has already shattered multi-platinum levels, with an estimated 2.2 billion copies being ordered by the Borman Imperial government alone.

Machine Gun Blasts Sarzonia

Concerns have been raised over a new album by the Generian thrash metal band Machine Gun. The album, titled "Their System Has Failed", presents a scathing attack on the nations of Sarzonia and Praetonia. Many listeners have been disgusted by the allegations on the CD: Praetonian soldiers are accused of committing vile atrocities in battle, most notably devouring unborn foetuses. This was vehemently denied by a Praetonian officer who wishes not to be named for safety reasons.

"Neither I nor anyone I know in the Armed Forces has ever carried out or been ordered to carry out any of these disgusting actions."

Although the album has been slammed by Taldaani music critics, described as "pure propaganda, obviously backed by the oppressive Generian goverment" (Sonic Storm magazine) and "repetitive, talentless waste" (Music and Arts Monthly), it climbed to Number 27 on the Taldaan Album Sales Chart. A poll of listeners, however, revealed that they are buying it mainly for the controversy or in many cases a good laugh. Several stores have been picketed and leaflets distributed by family values groups, but as usual they have been mainly ignored.

Taldaan Independent News, Saturday Edition

Doomingsland Imperial News
Your source for news on the Global Crusade

"Greetings, brothers and sisters, and welcome to DIN, your source for news on the Global Crusade.

With the release of Machine Gun's smash hit album, "Their System Has Failed", over one billion copies have effectively been sold within the borders of the Empire. The Imperial Youth has taken a liking to such music, and the sensitive topics the noble musicianss of this band touch upon have made the album almost universaly popular, the Emperor Himself reportadly blasting "The Legionnaire" at full volume within the Citadel.

The military has also shown appreciation for the recognization of their superiority over the Infidel in such songs as "The Legionnaire" and "Doomingsland Aces High". In a recent live fire excersize, the III Mobile Infantry Unit was reported to have played songs from the album at full volume from speakers mounted on their MV-68D transports while inserting soldiers on simulated enemy positions.

The Air Force has also devised a new favorite tactic of flooding radio waves with music from the album in order to spread confusion amongst the enemy while either filtering out the music completely, or using their advanced systems to turn it into a sort of background noise.

Machine Gun's Free World Tour will be making numerous stops throughout the Empire, their concert in Crematoria rumored to be "quite a blast" when it takes place. We'll just have to wait and see what they mean by that.

In other news, a radiological incedent involving a teddy bear has resulted in the mauling of six people...

MP Foundation for the Arts Review:

"Their System Has Failed" by Machine Gun is not your standard protest album.

Well, for one, the lyrics are hardcore right wing, which is odd to begin with, given that most political bands are left-wing extremists. But hey, screw it, it's just unfounded, finger poking fun at Sarzonia and Praetonia, an activity performed on an almost daily basis by the Pwnage media (ooc: no offense meant though. It's just like how Americans poke fun at the French). But the songs have some tightly written and very funny lyrics, so the cliche can be excused.

The music itself is standard Generian fare. Note that this is definitely not a bad thing, as the Generian school of music generally churns out virtuoso musican after virtuoso musician.

Final Recommendation: Although cliche, "Their System Has Failed" is a very solid political album. Buy it if you're a fan of the genre, or if you enjoy a good laugh.

Rating: 4/5 stars.
CD Cost: $12

MP Foundation for the Arts Review:

"Their System Has Failed" by Machine Gun is not your standard protest album.

Well, for one, the lyrics are hardcore right wing, which is odd to begin with, given that most political bands are left-wing extremists. But hey, screw it, it's just unfounded, finger poking fun at Sarzonia and Praetonia, an activity performed on an almost daily basis by the Pwnage media (ooc: no offense meant though. It's just like how Americans poke fun at the French). But the songs have some tightly written and very funny lyrics, so the cliche can be excused.

The music itself is standard Generian fare. Note that this is definitely not a bad thing, as the Generian school of music generally churns out virtuoso musican after virtuoso musician.

Final Recommendation: Although cliche, "Their System Has Failed" is a very solid political album. Buy it if you're a fan of the genre, or if you enjoy a good laugh.

Rating: 4/5 stars.
CD Cost: $12

OOC: 4/5 stars! I'll teach you.

"Sir, prepare your assassination squad."

Phantasmo Times

Phantasmo in Machine Gun's Sights

Richard McBrain, head of Big Dick Records, Inc. announced today that the international sensation Machine Gun will be kicking off their first world tour in Phantasmo, much to the delight of throngs of fans all over the empire. The concert will be held in the EmpireDome, which seats 100,000 if all building codes are obeyed, likely twice that many for an act as big as Machine Gun

The young Guns are notorious for their wild onstage antics and pyrotechnics, but their music is the real showcase of any show, in the vein of such classic bands as Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, and Guns N Roses. The ludicrous dual-guitar attack is the highlight of the performance, combining technical wizardry with moving tone.

The Emperor Saul Hudson himself will personally be attending the concert, as well as several Freudotopian muscial personalities and visiting dignitaries from around the world and thousands of screaming fans. Security will be provided by Iron Fist, Inc. Other Freudotopian locations include Durthmont, Shredder, and Puerto Angelo.

Mick "Grimy" Smythe, special correspondent

Borman Imperial News

Sales of 'Their System Has Failed' have only brought several million with Borman Empire. It is expected that these low numbers are because the government purchased 2.2 billion copies, almost enough for the entire nation. They were quickly distributed among the nation and made as mandatory listening, which as of yet their have been no complains too. The populace is absolutely in love with the album and listens to it constantly. Critics across the nation have given it raving reviews including:

"5 out of 5 stars"

Jonaked Times

"5 out of 4 stars"

That random national paper

"Two thumbs up"

Dania News

"Where's the bathroom? I really need to go!"

That random hobo who got trapped in the studio

and more...

Several wannabe bands have come out with albums just like ‘Their System Has Failed’ criticizing the nations who criticized Machine Gun's newest album.

It is reputed that Emperor Bhalk himself as well as throngs of thousands of fans will be attending the opening show in Phantasmo.

OOC: As Upper Xen...

IC:

Hong Kong, DX- Today, the Xenizen Association for Records and Musical Ventures has announced that the band "Machine Gun" and their new album Their System Has Failed have hit record sales, mostly on the grounds of novelty and shock value.

"This album actually has a few good tunes on it. I personally find the content objectionable, being a veteran of the Free Xenizen Forces and appreciating what our Sarzonian friends did to silence the Red threat, but nonetheless, the album has much in the way of artistic merit, being that it has killer guitar solos and plenty of a**-kicking rhythm and whatnot," said music critic Franklin Chan.

Major music magazines have given it a number of ratings, most averaging out to 4 stars. Also, about 500,000-1,000,000 copies have sold, though its content has many Civil War veterans echoing Mr. Chan's sentiments and a few even calling for its ban.

Tikira Times
Album hits number 1 in Majeristani charts

An album that has caused quite a ruckus amongst nations in the international community has made its presence felt throughout the Republic, garnering double platinum status in its first three weeks on the charts.

The album, Their System Has Failed paints the nations of Sarzonia and Praetonia as brutal aggressors, whilst painting the nations from which the band members originate as honourable, valiant fighters. The song "Two Minutes To Midnight," peaked at number 12 on the charts, while "Sarzonian Idiot" has just earned the number one position in the charts.

"The Majeristani people don't like that bunch of faggots," music critic Akbar Shaleel said in his weekly radio show. "That's why that song and that whole CD is doing so well. Those faggots have no future with Majeristan."

Government officials were quick to distance themselves from the comments, with Prime Minister Ali Sa-Sharik striving to repair damage to Majeristani relations with Sarzonia.

"Shaleel's opinions are his own and do not reflect those of the Republic," Sa-Sharik said in a hastily assembled press conference. "We do not condone the sinful arrangement their President lives in, but we also do not associate their entire nation as being sinful."

A Times poll showed that a majority of Majeristanis asked believe the CD is "generally unfounded," but some agreed with Shaleel.

"He said what many of us thought," one accountant who asked not to be identified since he worked extensively with Sarzonians said. "A lot of us don't like Sarzonia."

"He's called a shock jock for a reason," a fan said. "He makes outrageous statements all the time. That's his deal. By the way, the CD rocks!"

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Damn, the machine guns got a lot more support then my album did with the parthians

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=427949

Damn, the machine guns got a lot more support then my album did with the parthians

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=427949

((OOC: We just have a cooler name.))

((OOC: We just have a cooler name.))

OOC: Agreed. Plus, our nations are seriously into good music.

The Machine Guns scythe their way to No.8
Bolstered by a growing movement to abolish conscription, burgeoning pacifism, and the rising fortunes of the far right Loyal Monarchist Party, the Machine Guns' Their System Has Failed CD has blasted its way to number 8 on the national charts and to number 24 on university charts after only a week. Mel Toksvig, head of Hexen Records and member of the far right Isselmerian People's Party, explains his latest import's success.

"The MGs truly understand what's going on in this world, and what this corrupt, snivelling monarchy is doing wrong by associating itself with those depraved inhumane swine."

Stan Byrne, a presenter on Daurmont University's "Radio Hell" programme argues otherwise. "People are just fed up with pap. It's a fad; they'll clue in eventually."

Meanwhile, a re-release of Crass's Yes, Sir, I Will debuted at number 54 nationally and 3 on the university charts.

This has been Sarah Plehvin of INBC 1 News.

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