NationStates Jolt Archive

From: The Republic of Arabanistan

To: The International Community

The Republic of Arabanistan confirms that our nation is now a nulear power.

Arabanistan has 20 ICBMs and 80 SRBMs. Our ICBMs have 510 kt warheads and a range of 10,000 km.

Arabanistan purchased the nuclear weapons from the nation of Willink.

Let all nations who oppose us and who seek to destroy us know that we now have the ultimate means of mass destruction.

President Hafez al Assad

We are mailing you a quarter so you can call someone who cares. You may also use the Quarter for you budget seeing how after buying all of those nukes you should be out of cash. Since that would cost almost all of your 10 million nation's budget.

-Lone Alliance Minister of dealing with Freaky Nations.

"Congratulations on your acquisition. Please use them wisely."

OOC:

Sorry, but most Aug '05 nations do not have that many nukes.

-Message from Velkyan High Command-

We are scared s**tless, please, carry out your empty threats elsewhere.

-High Command Out-

OOC: Lol, Lone, that was funny as hell.

"We have more nukes than you."

--Bob, IMMC Deployed in Saharistan

To: Arabanistan
From: Kjata Major - General Hein

Wonderful, we have one. Though I think that means we'll be more likely to be taken serious if we want to use it. The Glow! The GLOW! The wonderful glow! Radioactive materials are huggable and warm, like your mother, but are more likely to kill you.

Official Message from the USF of Tiburon

In recognition of Arabanistan's great achievement, we would like to send them a basket of fruit (http://www.fruitforyou.com.au/images/fruit_basket_1.jpg), which shall act as the official Tiburonese embassy to Arabanistan.

Please forward all complaints to the Tiburonese embassy of Arabanistan. If they are unavailable, please send all letters in a blank white envelope containing a return address and an official Tiburonese stamp with the major axis facing diagonally counterclockwise at an angle of 3 pi/ 4 degrees, where they shall be forwarded to various departments before being returned to the owner for various reasons and containing the shopping list of an intern from what would presumably be the Tiburonese Department of Scientific Advancement.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
The Nightshift Security Guard of the mall opposite the street from the Capitol

(OOC)

ICBMs in silos cost a lot. However the ICBMs are train based launchers and the SRBMs carried on mobile launchers.

Our nuclear weapons do not use stationary launch sites like silos, thus the cost is reduced.

The purchase itself came to 510 million USD.

Arabanistan's defence budget is 4 billion USD.

Tell me then how I cannot 'afford' these weapons.

"We have more nukes than you."

--Bob, IMMC Deployed in Saharistan


Which i gave about half to you.




Arabanistan, congratulations ! You spent 75% of your countries budget on russian ICBM made in the 1960's !

Justin Scarfe, president Willink

OOC: .....you don't get it do you?

No one will want to RP with you or even DEAL with you if you think a budget is solid. You need huge amount of your forces for logistics and management, then you need to pay soldiers, defend the missiles and have a large amount of networks and research done to use nukes. You don't just fire nukes and think they hit. You may own them, but you cannot use them right and ICBMs cost 50 million a piece.

My General Hein praises and worships his nuclear missile. Though nuclear missiles are illegal in Kjata Major he is secretly funding his personal project. Though the thing is, if I go to USE the missile its gonna blow up inside the silo because its so shoddy and he can't even control it with the budget given to him. So even if he threatens you with nuclear missiles you know that its not a big thing, cause he cannot target properly or use them as well as a large nation who condones them.

Now his budget is larger then yours and just for ONE missile, we have to research and perform lots of different tests, maintaince and repairs on everything. Having just one is still a major thing for Hein. Though I can assure you that Hein's one missile is a lot more dangerous then your missiles.

You don't fear the man that want 100 nukes or even 1000 nukes, you fear the man who wants/has ONE. As a low-tech nation having less means having more power and generally people will be willing to RP with you, because you can support one basically, even if it isn't a real good missile, you can support it well.

Which i gave about half to you.




Arabanistan, congratulations ! You spent 75% of your countries budget on russian ICBM made in the 1960's !

Justin Scarfe, president Willink

OOC: Thank you for selling nuclear weapons to another Saharistan clone, Willink. I'll call you back with a bill if I ever get nuked. :rolleyes:

We'll laugh we they realize that the inside of their rocket is a Firecracker.

OOC: Lucky you. I lost track of the amount of weapons I have. I need to recount it.

Not like it matters. Ion Storms are much more efficient at irradicating your enemies...and seeing as how you have absolutely no space fleet, all I can say is, compared to my nation, and many other nations, you're screwed.

(OOC)

Im not screwed becuase I REFUSE to play ANY FT RP.

I would just ignore any FT attack on my nation as I do not believe in FT space RP.

From: The USSA's premier General Tucker

Message: WARNING to Arabanistan, we are taking this statement as a direct threat to any member of the international community. We will use the full force of our power to rain fire upon your pitafull despot of a leadership, unless they surrender your nuclear arsenal by tommoro. We also think that you would like to know are Advance WMDMI are now set onto orange alert and any missiles that are hostilly flew over will be blow out of the sky. You have 24 hours to respond.

Well WE are certainly impressed. Our scientists have been working for years to figure out how to create nuclear fission using our most abundant natural resources (wood chips). So far, not a lot of luck...

Well WE are certainly impressed. Our scientists have been working for years to figure out how to create nuclear fission using our most abundant natural resources (wood chips). So far, not a lot of luck...

We would like to advise you to:
"Keep up the good work"

The nation of Makaar is appaled at the nuclear proliferation among tiny nations these days and demands that Arabistan immdiately dismantle its nuclear arsenal. We ourselves are preparing to commence nuclear tests due to the extreme proliferation among tiny nations which we are now threatened by (even though our population is 1 and a half billion).

Form Letter from Leafanistani Ministry of Wish I Could Care More

Dear

[ ] President of a Republic
[ ] Manical Dictator
[ ] Reasonable Leader
[X] Twit with guns

Congratulations on your

[X] Nuclear proliferation
[ ] other WMD proliferation
[ ] First satellite launch
[ ] Finally tying your shoelaces

We wish we could care more but

[ ] Ours is bigger
[ ] You are a tiny nation with no influence
[X] Macgyver is on

So instead we have decided to

[ ] Declare War
[ ] Place economic embargoes
[X] Offer to buy your nukes at $1 million per kiloton
[X] Send a tactical fruit basket

In closing

[ ] Have a nice day
[ ] Hope to see you later
[ ] Burn in the firey depths of hell
[X] Hope you choke on a pretzel

Mondoth Wishes that Arabanistan use considers fully the implications of using these weapons and urges you to sacrifice at least a small number of these weapons to further your knowledge of nuclear energy for economic and ecological power supply. With your permission we will send a small contingent of nuclear engineers to aid you in this and in helping you find a safer and cheaper storage system for your weapons.

From: The USSA's premier General Tucker

Message: WARNING to Arabanistan, we are taking this statement as a direct threat to any member of the international community. We will use the full force of our power to rain fire upon your pitafull despot of a leadership, unless they surrender your nuclear arsenal by tommoro. We also think that you would like to know are Advance WMDMI are now set onto orange alert and any missiles that are hostilly flew over will be blow out of the sky. You have 24 hours to respond.

While we do not agree with nuclear proliferation and condemn nations over willing to use their nuclear weapons. Mondoth views aggression against nations simply for possessing or purchasing nuclear weapons with out demonstrating that the purchaser is not capable of responibly utilising and containing their arsenal as a serious threat. if you continue on this path you will be orced to deal with a Mondothian Battle fleet before you may even touch the shores of Arabanistan.

From: The Republic of Arabanistan

To: All Nations

The Republic of Arabanistan will stand by it's weapons programme and will NOT bow down to any imperialist warmongering or threats.

Arabanistan is NOT an UN member and is NOT an anti WMD club member, thus we do NOT consider Arabanistan to be legally bound to any non-proliferation treaties.

The government of Arabanistan is the ONLY sovereign power with the legal authority to decide on Arabanistan's status a nuclear power.

Furthermore our comment about possible enemies is NOT a threat to ANY nation. All we have stated is what ANY other nation would state, that if we are attacked in a huge WMD attack or a nation kills many of our people, then we will use these weapons. Other nations have used nuclear weapons for these very reasons and the international community has supported these nations with regards to such attacks.

We only ask that the international community extend the same understanding to our nation.

Arabanistan will NOT disarm ANY of our nuclear weapons as NO nation has any right to dictate our level of armaments.

To: Adamistaan

Arabanistan will NOT be intimidated by your vile threats.

You talk critically of our nation yet yours is no democracy! A authoritarian socialist dictatorship should not start preaching double standards to other nations!

At least Arabanistan has the decency to not indulge in hypocracy and lecture on democracy to other nation. Arabanistan will state that democracy is NOT compatible with the Arab nation and the desires of our people.

Arabanistan has NOT made ANY threats to your nation and your nation is acting illegally in threating war against us when we have done NO WRONG!

Arabanistan is a free and independent nation and your nation has no RIGHT to make any demands on us.

Whilst we of course would like to avert war with your nation, should you continue your threats and act upon them, we will go to war with you and use EVERYTHING at our disposal to destroy you!

Back down on your vile imperialist plots or face action!

President Hafez al Assad

Form Letter from the Department of State, Sub-Department of We Don't Give a Damn

(Check all that apply)

Dear:

[ ] President
[ ] Prime Minister
[ ] King/Queen
[X] Maniacal Dictator
[ ] Reasonable Leader
[X] Twit with guns
[ ] CEO/Board Chairman

Congratulations on your:

[ ] New weapon
[X] WMD proliferation
[ ] First satellite launch
[ ] Imperialist expansion
[ ] Prelude to ethnic cleansing attempt
[X] Prelude to future terrorist attacks
[X] Superb display of complete idiocy
[X] Success in tying your shoelaces

We would protest more, but:

[ ] We're actually happy for you
[ ] We might buy weapons from you
[ ] Ours is bigger
[ ] We've done worse
[X] You are a tiny nation with no influence
[X] You have insulted/threatened other nations who will destroy you for us
[X] We honestly couldn't care less
[X] "Friends" is on

So instead, we have decided to:

[ ] Declare war
[ ] Instate an embargo
[X] Declare that you are all a bunch of idiotic sub-human sapien-like creatures and are thus totally unfit to wipe your own asses, let alone hold public office
[X] Sit back and laugh as you are annihilated
[X] Offer to buy your nukes at $1 million per kiloton
[X] Offer weapons to your enemies
[ ] Send a tactical fruit basket
[ ] Buy weapons from you

In closing, we hope you:

[ ] Have a nice day
[X] Know what the hell you're doing
[X] Fall on a pike
[X] Burn in the fiery depths of hell
[X] Choke on a pretzel
[X] Die an ironic death

OOC:

I truly believe nuclear weapons have lost most of their meaning, threat, and importance in NS. This is due to the fact that everybody and their mothers have them, as opposed to only a handful of nations in our RL world (USA, Russia, China, India, Britain, France, and Israel). In addition, nobody ever employs nukes in RP's lest they be called god-modders, n00b "nukk0rz", or get glassed over.

This is exactly why I scrapped my nuclear weapons program, as I'd be spending my nation RP money IC'ly on something that will NEVER be used, and something that has no use anymore in the world of NS.

Therefore, I have been able to divert tens of billions of dollars from the scrapped nuclear weapons program towards other military stuff like logistics, more conventional forces, or R+D of advanced technologies.

From Lord Darigan king of Mwarto
To: The International Community

I am an ally of President Hafez al Assad and i don't take kindly to threats and insults of an ally. We have an exstensive list of allies to call on if any of you really wish to carry out your threats. And none of us are afraid to bump heads with nations tha have more power. No one tells you how to manage your nations so don't tell my ally how to manage his! Any nations that try to carry out their threats will be attacked as soon as their standing army leaves. They will be attacked by the Imperial Army of Mwarto.

The Holy Empire of New South Serbia believes that we have (inadvertantly) created our own nuclear weapons using nothing more than some soap, wood chips, Doritos(tm) brand tortilla chips, and 11 rather depressed hamsters.

Okay, so maybe it isn't exactly a nuclear weapon, per se, but when we grind all that together into a powder it is really pretty offensive! I know that I wouldn't want that stuff dropped in my cities.

At any rate, our point is that we have a lot of irradiated woodchips left over from these expiriments, and would be more than happy to sell them to any nation which would be interested in the aforesaid irradiated woodchips.


Yours, etc, etc,
The Holy Empire of New South Serbia

irradiated [/COLOR] woodchips left over from these expiriments, and would be more than happy to sell them to any nation which would be interested in the aforesaid irradiated woodchips.




OOC: Now...I have truly....heard of everything.....lol

OOC: Thank you for selling nuclear weapons to another Saharistan clone, Willink. I'll call you back with a bill if I ever get nuked. :rolleyes:
OCC: Anouther, damn, we just finished the Golbal jihad thing and the aftermath with the nuke incident, for the love of god not again.

[OOC: I laughed for 5 minutes at that one Leafanistan. Does anyone here from the Saharistani war smell a puppet/clone/crazy islamic nation? By the way Arabistania just because you have nukes doesnt mean you flaunt them, you shoulda learned that from the other war. Just because my nation has 50,000 nukes in a basement and they are all rusty and could go boom at any minute....errr...well yeah, flaunting stuff like this takes you down a peg in the RP world]

OOC: What if Willink and Arabanistan struck a deal, hmm? Over time, Arabanistan pays off the amount of purchase since he can't afford them now. It's called cxredit, and that's how noobs can get nukes. Scary, isn't it?

OOC: OOCly, I love this guy for starting conflict, we are all too busy to get pissy over some trees in Whatever-stan getting uprooted and instead focusing on stupid testosterone driven urges to declare war and increase e-penis sizes. And for the record, I'm a guy, a rather feminine guy yes, but a guy. Seriously though, you have to admit, we need more wars around here.

OOC: I have been wanting to find someone and declare war on them for no particular reason. It's been getting boring in II lately. We need someone to nuke someone else. And not just on, large incident. Like, a bunch of people declaring war on one another. Many wars, not just on large one.I get discouraged by large threads, honestly. They make me nervous.

OOC: OOCly, I love this guy for starting conflict, we are all too busy to get pissy over some trees in Whatever-stan getting uprooted and instead focusing on testosterone driven urges to declare war. And for the record, I'm a guy, a rather feminine guy yes, but a guy. Seriously though, you have to admit, we need more wars around here.

OOC: You fight him, then, and leave me for a peaceful stretch. I want my people to have a few peaceful decades before terrorists are trying to kill them again.

From the Metaphorical Desk of Charnel

Stop calling us. Now.

OOC: OOCly, I love this guy for starting conflict, we are all too busy to get pissy over some trees in Whatever-stan getting uprooted and instead focusing on testosterone driven urges to declare war. And for the record, I'm a guy, a rather feminine guy yes, but a guy. Seriously though, you have to admit, we need more wars around here.

[OOC: He does know how to create tension, I will give him that. There are too many wars in II that abruptly end in combat, and most wars are bad RP and frankly suck. Granted we do need more wars around here, and again, this lad knows how to create them, but i have two problems, the nuclear weapons way of creating a conflict is so tired and overplayed, I mean after the FC crisis everyone is tired of this kind of RP, and also there are better ways to start wars rather than threating II with nukes.]

OOC: I'll get you a way to start a war. I'll get you a way. Somehow.
<<
>>
*Crosses the street*

Nukes? So what? I have Gastric Panda Launchers!We feed our pandas with potnate XxX Beans and plug up their little panda poopers with Bottle Rockets. Then, When the pressure is just right (check your panda pooper preshamature) Light the fuse and watch you're panda soar! 1000 mile range and 1 miles of gasous effect. few weapons in the world are as effective (and gisgusting, talk about a mess) as the Gastric Panda Launcher! Full color cataloges now availabe.

Green Sun has high-explosives packed with liquid FIRE. Some of them have SPORKS in them just for the hell of it, so your nukes are nufink!
-Former Emperor Earnest Equanant

OOC: Arabanistan, would you mind if I don't fight you and sell you lots of tanks? Modern tanks. If we buy your nukes for $2 million per kiloton you could make a lot of cash and I could giev you a 25% discount.

The Holy Empire of New South Serbia believes that we have (inadvertantly) created our own nuclear weapons using nothing more than some soap, wood chips, Doritos(tm) brand tortilla chips, and 11 rather depressed hamsters.

Okay, so maybe it isn't exactly a nuclear weapon, per se, but when we grind all that together into a powder it is really pretty offensive! I know that I wouldn't want that stuff dropped in my cities.

At any rate, our point is that we have a lot of irradiated woodchips left over from these expiriments, and would be more than happy to sell them to any nation which would be interested in the aforesaid irradiated woodchips.


Yours, etc, etc,
The Holy Empire of New South Serbia




Are these chips good for gardening? How about poker?

Are these chips good for gardening? How about poker?

Oh my goodness yes!

They make excellent Poker chips, and can even be used as substitutes for potato chips by our Beaver-minded friends. Those with wooden computers will find our special irradiated woodchips to be excellent computer chips, with up to 1.2 Megs of grubs per chip!

OCC: I love how everytime this guy says irradiated, it shows up in a flourescent color.

Form Letter from Leafanistani Ministry of Wish I Could Care More

Dear

[ ] President of a Republic
[ ] Manical Dictator
[ ] Reasonable Leader
[X] Twit with guns

Congratulations on your

[X] Nuclear proliferation
[ ] other WMD proliferation
[ ] First satellite launch
[ ] Finally tying your shoelaces

We wish we could care more but

[ ] Ours is bigger
[ ] You are a tiny nation with no influence
[X] Macgyver is on

So instead we have decided to

[ ] Declare War
[ ] Place economic embargoes
[X] Offer to buy your nukes at $1 million per kiloton
[X] Send a tactical fruit basket

In closing

[ ] Have a nice day
[ ] Hope to see you later
[ ] Burn in the firey depths of hell
[X] Hope you choke on a pretzel







ROAFLMAO

Form Letter from the Department of State, Sub-Department of We Don't Give a Damn

(Check all that apply)

Dear:

[ ] President
[ ] Prime Minister
[ ] King/Queen
[X] Maniacal Dictator
[ ] Reasonable Leader
[X] Twit with guns
[ ] CEO/Board Chairman

Congratulations on your:

[ ] New weapon
[X] WMD proliferation
[ ] First satellite launch
[ ] Imperialist expansion
[ ] Prelude to ethnic cleansing attempt
[X] Prelude to future terrorist attacks
[X] Superb display of complete idiocy
[X] Success in tying your shoelaces

We would protest more, but:

[ ] We're actually happy for you
[ ] We might buy weapons from you
[ ] Ours is bigger
[ ] We've done worse
[X] You are a tiny nation with no influence
[X] You have insulted/threatened other nations who will destroy you for us
[X] We honestly couldn't care less
[X] "Friends" is on

So instead, we have decided to:

[ ] Declare war
[ ] Instate an embargo
[X] Declare that you are all a bunch of idiotic sub-human sapien-like creatures and are thus totally unfit to wipe your own asses, let alone hold public office
[X] Sit back and laugh as you are annihilated
[X] Offer to buy your nukes at $1 million per kiloton
[X] Offer weapons to your enemies
[ ] Send a tactical fruit basket
[ ] Buy weapons from you

In closing, we hope you:

[ ] Have a nice day
[X] Know what the hell you're doing
[X] Fall on a pike
[X] Burn in the fiery depths of hell
[X] Choke on a pretzel
[X] Die an ironic death



bump


ROAFLMAO!!!!!!!!!! I F**KING LOVE THESE :D

OOC: I need to put these forms in a word document somewhere. They are hilarious.

IC: The government of Galloism humbly submits that the government of Arabanistan is full of it. We see no evidence of them having posession of even one nuclear missile, let alone many.

Question: My nation recently had an issue dealing with the creation of WMD, and we decided to sell weapons to other nations. As a result, our nation's description now states that our nation is attributed to the funding of terrorist organizations. Does that mean we have to support Sahariastan/now/Arabanistan? Really? Please tell us no, please!?!?

-From the offices of the Ministry of Inane Questions and the Ministry of Dealing with Nations Lacking Creativity.

The Kingdom of Bryn Shander would like to congratulate Arabanistan on it's aquisition of a nuclear arsenal that is barely larger than a single warhead on our smallest missiles. We hope Arabanistan has fun with it's toys, but urge it to be careful lest someone blow their hand off.

-- Lucas Kestral
-Minister of Belittling Tiny Insignificant Nations Over Even More Insignificant Accomplishments

Official Statement, Majeristani Republican Government

We take note of your announcement of establishing a nuclear arsenal and strongly advise you to remain aware of the potential for disaster such weapons can bring. We also remind any nation that boasts its nuclear arsenal that we have our own set of nuclear weapons capable of turning any nation into retroactive pixie dust should the need arise.

In the name of Allah, we implore you to be careful. You hold the lives of billions in your hands. Please use the incredible and awesome power you have responsibly.

Prime Minister Ali Sa-Sharik
Republic of Majeristan

Why is this such a big idea ?


(Sits back and remembers the days he was beating Halberguardia and Mckagen posts.)

Question: My nation recently had an issue dealing with the creation of WMD, and we decided to sell weapons to other nations. As a result, our nation's description now states that our nation is attributed to the funding of terrorist organizations. Does that mean we have to support Sahariastan/now/Arabanistan? Really? Please tell us no, please!?!?

-From the offices of the Ministry of Inane Questions and the Ministry of Dealing with Nations Lacking Creativity.

No, it doesn't. You can RP your nation however you want despite what your nation description says. the onl thing it is a good idea to follow is your budget as calculated by the NSeconomy index or another such budget calculator as that is what is used to determine what you can reasonably buy/have.

No, it doesn't. You can RP your nation however you want despite what your nation description says. the onl thing it is a good idea to follow is your budget as calculated by the NSeconomy index or another such budget calculator as that is what is used to determine what you can reasonably buy/have.

Very rarely will your nation be the views and ideals that you yourself have. Often times this means people will go to economy, then political or civil rights to ensure a powerful nation, yet RP one of different political system.

OOC Leafy... didn't you steal that form from someone else? I could've sworn I saw Menelmacar post that somewhere else...

No, it doesn't. You can RP your nation however you want despite what your nation description says. the onl thing it is a good idea to follow is your budget as calculated by the NSeconomy index or another such budget calculator as that is what is used to determine what you can reasonably buy/have.

OOC: Okay, you've got me here.. what is the NSeconomy index, and how/where can I figure it out?

OOC: Okay, you've got me here.. what is the NSeconomy index, and how/where can I figure it out?

[OOC: NSeconomy is a budget calculator based on the choices you make in your nation state. It tells you the percent you spend on each thing like, law and order and defence, etc...

NSeconomy (http://www.thirdgeek.NSeconomy.com)

Check it out, type your nation, and you will see what everyone is talking about.

No, it doesn't. You can RP your nation however you want despite what your nation description says. the onl thing it is a good idea to follow is your budget as calculated by the NSeconomy index or another such budget calculator as that is what is used to determine what you can reasonably buy/have.

ooc: Oh, no, I didn't mean that as serious! I was just joking about the past habit of Sahariastan. . . oh wait, I mean Arabanistan ::wink wink:: in causing war and terrorism. Also, I have been very disapointed that so far I have managed to catch the tail end of every conflict he starts. Such terrible luck, as they always seem to be so fun!

[OOC: NSeconomy is a budget calculator based on the choices you make in your nation state. It tells you the percent you spend on each thing like, law and order and defence, etc...

NSeconomy

Check it out, type your nation, and you will see what everyone is talking about.

Oh, it seems that the link you put in there didn't work. Go Here (http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php)

Though, it seems that this calculator doesn't work if you are in any of the Pacific regions, but I do have this calculator here (http://www.sunsetrpg.com/nsxmlparser.php), which I don't know how much it is used, plus it seems to overestimate your nations stats.

OOC: Thank you both so much! This has significantly increased the stuff I can do...

IC: Since they have proven to be so popular, the Holy Empire of New South Serbia will be making our highly-prized irradiated woodchips available to all nations! We have hired a barge which we will be towing about all the oceans of the world. This barge will be filled to the brim with our world-renowned irradiated woodchips, as well as a large scoop (for your conveneince). When our barge sails into your port, just reach down, and grab yourself a scoop or two!

This is our gift to the world!

Try this:

http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php?nation=New%20South%20Serbia

ooc: So. . . where did Arabanistan go? Kind of been disapointing as a thread.