Leafanistan
19-08-2005, 15:55
Leafanistani Independent News Network:
*video of oddly shaped lights moving about at high speeds, soundless*
"And as you can see, people living near Sanders Air Force Base in the Great Leafanistani Desert are frightened. Night after night, aircraft doing impossible 10 g+ turns, flying at supersonic speeds, and all of this soundlessly, scare the residents of these towns. Leafanistani Civil Defense Forces RADAR's pick up mere bird like signatures, and thermals are just as poor. Could these be the "greys" or "aliens" one so far advanced we can barely comprehend their mode of transportation?"
GSRN Broadcast out of McKagan:
"Thousands of sightings, many have gathered along the cliffs so as to few these craft. However recently Republican Elite Guards have been pushing people away. Black SUVs with odd sensors and disturbing tales of abductions and odd cattle multilations."
Leafanistani National News Network:
Host: "So Doctor Evingrugh, you say this is all nonsense?"
Dr: "Of course Tanya, we know of aliens, we have been to their worlds, but no one can prove these craft are beyond our understanding. Maybe its missile experimentation, those things could do what they do, explain the small signatures and the lights. Leafanistan is probably just doing secretive defense exercises with new missiles to secure a bright future for all of us."
Worldwide News Network:
"Leafanistani, Halberdgardian, and McKagan governments and militaries all have no comments. They just shrug it off, blaming it on such phenomena as swamp gas reflection, helicoptor exercises, missile exercises and practice dogfighting which happens over Sanders Air Force Base very often. However what about a nearby farm multilation, wolves, or melavolent beings to destroy us all?"
Goon Broadcasting System Television (GBS-TV):
"Tonight, scientists announce just about everything can kill you."
"And now a word from our sponsor"
"*2 minutes of cursing*"
*video of oddly shaped lights moving about at high speeds, soundless*
"And as you can see, people living near Sanders Air Force Base in the Great Leafanistani Desert are frightened. Night after night, aircraft doing impossible 10 g+ turns, flying at supersonic speeds, and all of this soundlessly, scare the residents of these towns. Leafanistani Civil Defense Forces RADAR's pick up mere bird like signatures, and thermals are just as poor. Could these be the "greys" or "aliens" one so far advanced we can barely comprehend their mode of transportation?"
GSRN Broadcast out of McKagan:
"Thousands of sightings, many have gathered along the cliffs so as to few these craft. However recently Republican Elite Guards have been pushing people away. Black SUVs with odd sensors and disturbing tales of abductions and odd cattle multilations."
Leafanistani National News Network:
Host: "So Doctor Evingrugh, you say this is all nonsense?"
Dr: "Of course Tanya, we know of aliens, we have been to their worlds, but no one can prove these craft are beyond our understanding. Maybe its missile experimentation, those things could do what they do, explain the small signatures and the lights. Leafanistan is probably just doing secretive defense exercises with new missiles to secure a bright future for all of us."
Worldwide News Network:
"Leafanistani, Halberdgardian, and McKagan governments and militaries all have no comments. They just shrug it off, blaming it on such phenomena as swamp gas reflection, helicoptor exercises, missile exercises and practice dogfighting which happens over Sanders Air Force Base very often. However what about a nearby farm multilation, wolves, or melavolent beings to destroy us all?"
Goon Broadcasting System Television (GBS-TV):
"Tonight, scientists announce just about everything can kill you."
"And now a word from our sponsor"
"*2 minutes of cursing*"