NationStates Jolt Archive


Goblins bringin' down da house (MT, BYOC)

Blood Moon Goblins
06-08-2005, 06:23
King Rockbreaker had been in the mood to party down, indeed, to bust a few moves and possibly pick up a few hoes (a long time sport in Blood Moon, where two contestants attempted to lift as many hoes as possible onto a cart. The origins of this sport are said to be in English Cricket.)
Sadly, Rockbreaker learned that the party he had planned to attend was only for "real people".
This, naturaly, made him rather angry, ruined his mood and stomped rather hard on his buzz.
But all the assorted party gear had been loaded already, a number of troll strippers had been hired, and Goblinball was about to commence per force.
And thus, King Rockbreaker uttered the famous words:
"Let dem drink beer."
And thus hordes of Goblins flocked to the souther coastline where the massive party was to be held. Goblins usualy do not establish coastal towns, being a burrowing folk they do not like sand as it tends to collapse. However there were one or two recently established tourist towns with above ground structures, although most Goblins didnt trust anything with more than two stories that wasnt inside a mountain. After all, how could it stay up?
In any case, the cheap hotels were packed, as were the moderatly priced and expensive hotels. Of course all of them were charging extraordinary rates for rooms and the bag boys had begun to expect very large tips indeed.

Only a few hotels were damaged in the invetion of 'Beach Goblinball', a sport similar to Vollyball where the contestants attempt to hit an air filled ball with a creamy nitroglycerin center.
Of course, it wasnt as lethal as the normal Goblinball, which was often made of metal and completly filled with high explosives, but it packed enough punch to make a good sized bang and generate the correct amount of screaming.
And of course, the sport was all the better if you threw in some land mines and a razor wire net.

Invitations were quickly dispatched, regardless of the subjective reality of the receiver, although, of course, temporal barriers gave some trouble. a few Goblins attempted to send the correct invitations back in time by means of lots of high explosives, they are currently waiting for a reply.
Naturaly, attendies from the FKC were givin priority over those from other assorted areas of lesser importance. That and they where closer so it was much rarer that letters were eaten for sustinance on the long roads.

Thus, in attendance we have:
Blood Moon
Theao
06-08-2005, 06:34
ooc: BYOC?
The Kraven Corporation
06-08-2005, 12:35
OOC: Bring your own cask?
Hyronia
06-08-2005, 13:01
OOC: you write ridiculously well.
Blood Moon Goblins
06-08-2005, 13:46
(OOC:
3/4, Kraven :P
That would be Bring your own Chair ;)
Im not sure if thats sarcasm, Hyronia, but Ill take it as a compliment anyway. Thanks :)
Hyronia
06-08-2005, 13:59
OOC: It wasn't sarcasm.
Hyronia
06-08-2005, 14:01
OOC: It wasn't sarcasm.
Blood Moon Goblins
07-08-2005, 00:14
OOC:
Righty then.
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Alcona and Hubris
07-08-2005, 01:30
Well there were in attendence a group of off duty Marines from the United Duchies. Why they had decided to travel to 'The Goblin Rivera' was unknown. Although it was widely circulated that the fact most of them were female indicated a tendency for mutual co-habitation.

Anyway there were a group of Marines running about on the beach, in bikinis, only made things more lively. After all they really thought the 'live fire' exercieses were kind of cute. Although the Goblins were likely learning that with the average height of a Marine (female) was 5' 10" and usually had a nasty front court spike, well the results were fairly lopsided.

For any offical delegation, well likely the goblin with the letter likely discovered that Klatchian Crocs thought them a nice snack when trying to cross the Kandi. Or just got lost in the jungle, anyway it never arrived.

(OOC: Here, have some beach ornaments to lure the unwarry...if they try to hit on my Marines, well I'm sure the Goblins will find the event fun...)
Blood Moon Goblins
07-08-2005, 01:56
The Goblins on the Beach Goblinball court went into a quick huddle, hurridly devising a new strategem to defeat the skinny pinkos with the bouncy things on the front.
It was determined that, since height was clearly an advantage, the Goblin team would pair up. The reduced speed was a minor problem, but easily solved by throwing your partner into the balls path, or simply using him as a bat.
Meanwhile, one of the troll strippers was winking constantly at a male marine, making rhythmic thrusting motions and suggesting that they go out back together. What exactly a twelve foot tall silicoid would see in a six foot tall 'softie' is unknown, but sometimes you get wierdos.

(OOC:
You asked for it :P)
Hyronia
07-08-2005, 03:25
"This has gotta be the craziest shore leave I've ever been involved in," said a half-drunk captain Andrew Nichols to Hyronian News Network (HNN) reporters. The captain had been on patrol off the BMG border when the sound of explosions and ululating had come over the radio. He figured it was either a war or a really good party, and was elated when he realised it was the latter, and the crew of the HNS Destroyer Heron could go and get ridiculously drunk with some small, unfriendly green people.

A mission which they fulfilled with dedication and distinction.

All in all, there were one-hundred and twenty men and women from the Republic of Hyronia in Blood Moon, and they were all either drinking, blowing things up, or getting in fights - something which the locals seemed to enjoy as much as the drinking part.

It certainly made interesting viewing back home.
Blood Moon Goblins
07-08-2005, 03:35
A group of Goblins promptly joins the sailors for a few rousing rounds of "What can you do with a Drunken Sailor?", using Goblin lyrics which involve things much worse than shaving his belly with a rusty razor.
On completion of the song, the Goblins challenge the sailors to a game of 'two up'.
This game involves throwing a coin into the air and betting on whether or not it will come down.
It is only played by very, very drunk Goblins, usualy on Thursdays.

Across town a minor riot quickly turned into an attempt to tip not only a car, but an entire hotel. A massive group of Goblins forming a goblin-pyramid are pushing with all their might against one of the less well built hotels. The top of the building is swaying rather dangerously.
Blood Moon Goblins
07-08-2005, 22:15
kabump