Fat Kids Momma
06-08-2005, 04:33
At approximately 2300 hours last night, local time, an armed invasion force moved into Fat Kids Momma's southern forests. Quickly establishing a perimeter around the forest, they moved on the forest's military compound and cut it off from the rest of the nation. Through clever use of cover, suppresion fire and air superiority, the forces in the compound repulsed the invasion suffering only the loss of their communications tower.
The base was not the enemy objective however, and a few hours later they moved on the southwest plains, occupying the Beer Suitcase ranches there. Once done, the beer suitcases were rounded up and herded into cargo planes and flatbed trucks. When the invasion force withdrew at 350 hours, just under five hours after their invasion, the country's population of Common Domesticated Beer Suitcases had been all but decimated.
The invasion force, which consisted of tanks, assault choppers, and mobile artillery, struck and withdrew quickly with the aid of air power. Fallen enemy bodies and hardware were examined and bear no identifying characteristics of any kind.
Fat Kids Momma comes to you in this dark hour to ask the international community support in tracking these fiends and recovering the source of our two primary exports, Beer and Suitcases.
Our citizens are a hardworking bunch who desire to live peacefully, but they can become fierce fighters in the absence of their brew. Choose wisely, suitcase thieves: confess and return your ill-gotten gains now, along with any other goods and services you have taken, and we will see to it that only a minimal number of our bombers fly off course into your territory and drop their load of explosives over your major cities and industrial centers. Refuse, and when you are discovered ruin will come upon you. You have one week to respond.
Other, non-hostile nations of the world, join us in our fight to recover what belongs to us, and I will create a special amendment to our Luggage and Liquor Fees Act repealing all such trade restrictions within your country. You also have one week.
We thank you for your cooperation, and hope that justice may be served.
The base was not the enemy objective however, and a few hours later they moved on the southwest plains, occupying the Beer Suitcase ranches there. Once done, the beer suitcases were rounded up and herded into cargo planes and flatbed trucks. When the invasion force withdrew at 350 hours, just under five hours after their invasion, the country's population of Common Domesticated Beer Suitcases had been all but decimated.
The invasion force, which consisted of tanks, assault choppers, and mobile artillery, struck and withdrew quickly with the aid of air power. Fallen enemy bodies and hardware were examined and bear no identifying characteristics of any kind.
Fat Kids Momma comes to you in this dark hour to ask the international community support in tracking these fiends and recovering the source of our two primary exports, Beer and Suitcases.
Our citizens are a hardworking bunch who desire to live peacefully, but they can become fierce fighters in the absence of their brew. Choose wisely, suitcase thieves: confess and return your ill-gotten gains now, along with any other goods and services you have taken, and we will see to it that only a minimal number of our bombers fly off course into your territory and drop their load of explosives over your major cities and industrial centers. Refuse, and when you are discovered ruin will come upon you. You have one week to respond.
Other, non-hostile nations of the world, join us in our fight to recover what belongs to us, and I will create a special amendment to our Luggage and Liquor Fees Act repealing all such trade restrictions within your country. You also have one week.
We thank you for your cooperation, and hope that justice may be served.