NationStates Jolt Archive


Goblin Copyrights Fire

Blood Moon Goblins
05-08-2005, 05:19
(Image of a Goblin fireing a blunderbuss wildly into the air, this being the logo of BMNC, Blood Moon News Corporation
The Goblin reporter appears, being one of the "speakers" his English is relativly ungarbled, a slightly gravely accent is all that would indicate (by voice) that he is a Goblin.)
Mr Nurg of Gundabad has announed today that he has officaly copyrighted fire. Having done some research and looked into a number of nations copyright offices, he has found no previous claims to the patent for Fire.
Considering that Blood Moon has a reputation for not enforcing patents itself, it has yet to be seen whether or not Mr. Nurg will attempt to enforce this patent himself.

The patent itself only applies to fire, fire-making materials, combustables and so forth are not subject to the copyright. Military grade chemical combustables (napalm, for instance)
(picture of a large napalm fire)
are not subject to the patent.
Mr. Nurg has stated that he plans to patrol Blood Moon's national parks in search of families violating his copyright, whereupon he will 'sue dere cop'right violat'n pants off, dammit.'.
(Image of Nurg shaking his fist)
The only copyright violation case brought so far has been against a small child lighting off a firework. The case is in the courts for now but apparently the child made the stirring arguement of:
"Dat guy is a doo doo head."
(Image of Goblin jury nodding and murmuring)
Mr. Nurg was unable to prove that he was not a "doo doo head" and refused on on-site biopsy to determine the contents of his skull.
(Image of Nurg fighting off a baliff)

More news as it comes
(the reporters voice suddenly starts to change pitch wildly, becoming very high and suddenly dropping to a low tuba-ish note)
SQUEE! WHAT DA FREEK ARR JOO DOIN!? STOP MESSIN WIT DA PITCH! GET OFF A DA CONTROLS NOW!
(The Goblin reporter leaps over the desk, knocking over the camera and scattering papers. Sounds of fighting and breaking objects are heard in the background)
...
...
...
(Image of a Goblin in an Indian headress, underneath this is the legend "We R ecksperncing teknikal difikultys. Plese stnd bbye.")
Iscariot InstituteXIII
05-08-2005, 05:21
One wishes to know how the Goblins will use and handle the copyright for fire, and wonders, indeed, if natural elements can be copyrighted. In this case; the Iscariot Institute wishes to place copyright for Water; the blessed water of rebirth, the joyeous baptism of holy fluid.

As such, Section XIII, has a feeling of moral superiority; as water defeats fire.
Go with God, Amen.

-Archbishop Enrico Maxwell
Blood Moon Goblins
05-08-2005, 14:13
Blood Moon should point out that water exists without any intentional act of creation, fire, on the other hand, usualy requires an intentional act to create. Of course, you can use naturaly occuring fire if it so please you, 'artificial' fire is copyrighted though.
The Charr
05-08-2005, 14:21
"So you think you can copyright the Gods, hmm? An interesting notion to be sure, you foolish heretics. I hope you enjoy pain, because the Great Gods of Fire will see to it that your souls suffer terribly after your death, until they are destroyed completely! Your copyright is worthless and will not be honoured by anyone, even the heretics who don't worship the True Gods. Ludicrous..."

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/MattLever/Charr/charrhead2.jpg
Grand High Flame Keeper Verklaaw Darkclaw
Blood Moon Goblins
05-08-2005, 14:25
The Kingdom of Blood Moon feels that it should indicate that this was the action of a single Goblin, not the Goblin state in general. Nurgs actions were not brought on by the government.
Sadly, we have a duty to at least glance over any copyright violation lawsuits he brings.
Mini Miehm
05-08-2005, 14:44
In response to the Goblin Nurgs copyrighting of Fire, we have decided that Artificial Lightning will now be the sole domain of The Hive, and have copyrighted it to ensure that it stays that way.