NationStates Jolt Archive

Presidential Palace, Seattle, Torontia

President Paul Kaufman looked out of his window as he was watching a huge Jack Norton election rally that was taking place in Central Avenue, Seattle's main high street.

Like Kaufman, all of Torontia's business community and it's super rich were now resigned to defeat as the polls have now put Jack Norton way ahead in the elections.

Only yesterday, Jack Norton promised to abolish ALL private property save for personal belongings, as Jack Norton made a point of saying that capitalism itself was tied to the huge loss of life and oppression that occured under Kaufmans rule over Torontia.

Jack Norton said that while he would NOT seek revenge on Paul Kaufman and that Kaufman would walk a free man in Torontia if Norton wins, Jack Norton promised to CONFISCATE all of Kaufmans bank accounts and all of his business assets and said that Kaufman should live the life of the average Torontian worker.

To Kaufman, for whom money meant power and everything else besides, this propspect horrified him.

Kaufman no longer had any will to see this election out as the chances of winnig were now approaching zero!

Kaufman ordered his Republican Guard to empty the Torontian National Bank of all of it's gold reserves and money and then ordered his troops to empty the top 100 largest banks in Torontia of ALL of their money.

Kaufman also emptied all of his company accounts and then had all of the money wired in to an offshore account.

What money couldn't be wired, Kaufman had the money and gold stuffed in his limos. It took 14 limos to take all of the gold and money Kaufman was taking for himself.

In all, Kaufman looted Torontia of 78 billion USD and he intended to take the money with him abroad to live somewhere else.

You can live in The Federal Republic of Brydog.

My esteemed colleague

"I have heard of your socialist troubles and we are honoured to have you in our midist. In Holy Panooly you are safe from socialists, communists and other left-wing vermin. To some we have some radical opinions about dealing with socialists et all, to us it's routine. However, the Panoolian army's strength lies in defense, not offense. Hurry yourself to Holy Panooly, look to the west. There you will find peace and tranquility.

And don't mind Brydog, they're silly anarchists."

- Baron Dominic Templeton, de facto leader of Holy Panooly.

Presidential Communique

Dear citizens of Torontia.

I have decided that it is in the best interests of ALL Torotnians to announce my resignation.

Torontia is in the middle of an election yet I have no longer any interest in running for office.

I will therefore hand over the Office of the Presidency of the Republic of Torontia to Jack Norton.

As you, citizens of Torontia and the international community know, I have always been nothing short of a positive force for freedom and peace in the world and I have always acted in the most responsible manner a ruler can act in.

May you proper under his rule and may he do what is best for Torontia.

Paul Kaufman

The international community cannot let that scumbag kauffman continue to massacre his own people...
The following nations under decordence with I-Con Decree 55 offer what remains of kauffman's shallow government this ultamatum.

Leave the Nation that you have destroyed and corupted (and give back the money you have laundered)...OR DIE!

Al Ahmera
Al Mecca
Al Saber
Al Asamari
Ancient - Rome

OC: Sign up here -

Kaufman's personal chopper rose skyward from the presidential palace in Seattle, the arrangements for his exile were to be arranged on the way.

The chopper flew low over the slums on the outskirts of the city, as it did so the people in the street below jeered and spat into the air, now nearing the city limits the chopper banked to port slightly.

On the ground below came a flash of smoke and a dart of grey like a fist of pure hate and vengeance soared skyward. The missile locked onto its target and accelerated, on the chopper alarms went off, the wailing almost deafening, the pilot banked sharply to starboard and brought the aircraft into a steep dive in an effort to evade the missile.

It struck the chopper aft, just shy of the tail rotor blowing it clear off. The chopper immediately began to spin like a Catherine wheel with molten fire oozing out from what used to be the rear rotor assembly. On the ground people began to flee and the chopper slammed into the ground in the centre of a large municipal area.

It could have been seconds, minutes or hours since the crash Kaufman couldn’t tell, he opened his eyes and surveyed the scene, all around him was devastation, the pilot had been killed outright by the impact, a paving slab impaled in his head. Kaufman gagged and blacked out coming to shortly later as he was kicked in the stomach by a tall man clad all in black and sporting a balaclava.

"You Know Kaufman"

Said the man

"You made the fatal mistake that has so cursed your predecessors, you failed to take into account the true resolve of the Student Body"

There was a flash, and a dull thud, the silenced pistol the man had been concealing had placed a single round in Kaufman's brain, the man turned and the last thing Kaufman saw was the crest of The University of Seattle on the back of the man's clothes.


OOC: I know someones gonna void that but still, it seems a fitting end.

FUCK YEAH!
KAUFFMAN IS DEAD!
LONG LIVE NORTON!
:fluffle:

damn homo's......

Serves him right: Stupid FUCK!

He's not a real life person........

That is GODMODING.

You cannot RP another nations leaders death.

FYI, Kaufman is leaving by limo not helicopter.

His limo will take him to an airbase where his private jet is waiting!

IGNORE THE GODMODING NOOB, KAUFMAN IS NOT DEAD!

Calm down. I dont suppose you have a car phone on that phone or any way we can contact you. Ill off assistance then or something.

Yeah, just phone Kaufman's cell phone.

You can make up the conversation.

All Kaufman wants is a safe nation with lots of nightlife and good designer shops like Prada and Armani, for him to spend his 78 billion USD in exile.

That is GODMODING.

You cannot RP another nations leaders death.

FYI, Kaufman is leaving by limo not helicopter.

His limo will take him to an airbase where his private jet is waiting!

IGNORE THE GODMODING NOOB, KAUFMAN IS NOT DEAD!


told you someone would kill it ..... shame, he needs a fitting death.

The Imperium of Serapindal could provide temporary asylum for Paul Kaufman.

No, Kaufman deserves to live!

He did what was good for Torontia and the global business community.

Many people benefited from his rule.

He only used force against terrorists and killers, like the students at the university.

"We got plenty of shops etc. Many areas to spend your money. We will also give you 24 hour's protection, with as many body guards as you want."

"You can stay in the Royal Palace. Hell the Princess is Single, you could get a kingdom out of this"

"Heck we dont care about your past. So what? You killed a few poor people. Big deal."

"Well you dont mind the cold do you?" Questioned the royal representative.

OOC: 1 sided phone call from a unnaturally lax Royal Representaive.

"Wait, our country has more shops. See, you can tell, because Frozopia only has a "very strong" economy, while we have a "frightening" economy. Thus, by using logic, we have more stores. Stuff is also a tiny bit cheaper here, thought not by much."

I thought frightening meant really bad......

OOC: In order of best to worst, economic ratings go...

Frightening
All-Consuming
Powerhouse
Thriving
Very Strong
Strong
Good
Reasonable
Fair
Developing
Weak
Fragile
Struggling
Basket Case
Imploded

No, Kaufman deserves to live!

He did what was good for Torontia and the global business community.

Many people benefited from his rule.

He only used force against terrorists and killers, like the students at the university.

The nation of Leafanistan, while not entirely supportive of your ideals, will fight to the death for your right to believe inthem. Therefore, as a prominent weapons supplier to you Kaufman we would love to take you into our nation. Our hybrid system, supports those who have risen to the top. You have also been invited bythe CEOs of Sierra Visions Inc to stay at their penthouses in their corporate park. We are waitnig for you.

-Sierra Visions Inc.

Kaufman will be going to Frozopia, a loyal ally of Torontia when Kaufman was President.

You can make up a telephone chat with your leader and Kaufman if you want.

Kaufman will soon land in your capital city airport.

Kaufman would also like to buy a penthouse in Leafanistan, heck he can live in as many parts of the world as he wants, Kaufman has 78 billion USD for himself after all!

"So he's not going to live in the IOS?"

"Make yourself very comfortable, very comfortable indeed. We are preparing 5 rooms in the palace for you as we speak. You will dine with us this evening, as we have prepared a ball in your honour. Feel free to use the indoor swimming pool and we have a number of concubines that may interest you. Enjoy your stay!" Spoke king Clauro IX through voice mail.

OOC: Oh, BTW, Leafanistan, could you get on AIM? I need to discuss...a commerce transaction.

[QUOTE=Torontia]Kaufman would also like to buy a penthouse in Leafanistan, heck he can live in as many parts of the world as he wants, Kaufman has 78 billion USD for himself after all!QUOTE]

We hope you enjoy your new home in Frozopia, bring a sweater. And you have clearence to land at the Sierra Visions Campus Airport at any time you want. Try to avoid our MiG-25G patrols, they aren't the best of pilots and have been known to fly planes into each other.

-Minister of Cookies (Sierra Visions Inc. Puppet Minister)

OOC: Oh, BTW, Leafanistan, could you get on AIM? I need to discuss...a commerce transaction.

OOC; Can't at work, try sometime after 6-7 EDT.

Before Kaufman goes to his reception party in Frozopia, Kaufman lands in Leafanistan to look at his new penthouse.

Before Kaufman goes to his reception party in Frozopia, Kaufman lands in Leafanistan to look at his new penthouse.


bleh, I prefered the ironic film noir death scene to the penthouse scene but hell, you're the DM

To: The Glorious Republic of Leafanistan
From: The United States of Allemande
Subject: Ex-President Paul Kaufman's Extradition

...

IC: We have a score to settle, Kaufman. You can run ... but you can't hide.

To: Allemande

You still persist in your evil communist plots and your desire to restructure the minds of humans through your vile 'dimplomacy'.

Im am no longer in control of any nation and I have given up politics for good. I am now a private citizen and should enjoy they same human rights and freedoms that all other people enjoy.

You are tyrannical and bloodthirsty for you seek to make me suffer. Do you not care for my human rights? Or do you only care about the rights of terrorists and evil criminal killers like those evil genocidal 'students' in Seattle.

You cannot and will never get me, the world favours me over you and your terrorism. Many nations remember the hard work I did during my time in office for human rights and freedom and global peace and stability.

Now go and direct your satanic communist plots at someone else, Im off out shopping.

Paul Kaufman

To: Allemande

You still persist in your evil communist plots and your desire to restructure the minds of humans through your vile 'dimplomacy'.

Im am no longer in control of any nation and I have given up politics for good. I am now a private citizen and should enjoy they same human rights and freedoms that all other people enjoy.

You are tyrannical and bloodthirsty for you seek to make me suffer. Do you not care for my human rights? Or do you only care about the rights of terrorists and evil criminal killers like those evil genocidal 'students' in Seattle.

You cannot and will never get me, the world favours me over you and your terrorism. Many nations remember the hard work I did during my time in office for human rights and freedom and global peace and stability.

Now go and direct your satanic communist plots at someone else, Im off out shopping.

Paul Kaufman


http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=435529

Can i point mr Kaufman in this direction...

Prepared Statement by Edith Mayenne, Secretary of State

"We have evidence that Kaufman ordered his Republican Guards to kill everyone on the campus of the University of Seattle, whether they were involved in the protests or not.

"The evidence is sufficient to warrant a charge of conspiracy to commit murder, and we have so charged Mr. Kaufman.

"Our interest - as always - remains seeing those responsible for the massacre of our citizens brought to justice."

To: Allemande

Your President is insane!!!

You make up make believe plots of me giving orders to kill non-terrorist students when I have already told you that the terrorists made the situation as such that bystanders were hurt.

I offered compensation for what was an ACCIDENT and you turned it down, instead listening to false propoganda from the terrorists for you 'evidence'.

I suggest the President of Allenmande be sent to a mental hospital, for he lost touch with reality and now lives in a paraniod fantasy of his own creation.

Allenmande deserves a sane leader!

Paul Kaufman

"Mr. Kaufman can make his defence in a court of law. He is, after all, entitled to that."

- Allemander Secretary of State Edith Mayenne

To: Allemande

Your lack of answers to ANY of the points I have raised in my last two letters to your government only confirms my point that your government in engaged in an evil global conspiracy for communism and terrorism.

You seek to make people suffer and have no respect for the right of life that humans are given.

Answer my points here and now, for I shall not go before your 'courts' or more correctly speaking, communist show trials.

I have done nothing wrong.

Besides I cannot attend court, I have a dinner party tomorrow.

Paul Kaufman

An arrest warrant has been issued for Paul Kaufman in Peopleita, for Terrorism, and attempted Genocide.

The Fedaration of Magrthean traders beleives paul should be left in peace since he has surrnedered and is trying to live out his life

The Fedaration of Magrthean traders beleives paul should be left in peace since he has surrnedered and is trying to live out his life"Murder is murder. Saying that a murderer is trying to 'live out his life' is not only irrelevant, but insults the world's sense of justice."

- Allemander Secretary of State Edith Mayenne

P.S. Allemande has officially charged Paul Kaufman with conspiracy to commit murder.

The United Holy Empire of Kreynoria offers President Kauffman a luxurious vacation home in Hawaii, with a retinue of bodyguards and servants. We are also offering a training base where you can train your followers into elite soldiers to take back Torontia from the gay communist Norton.

"Murder is murder. Saying that a murderer is trying to 'live out his life' is not only irrelevant, but insults the world's sense of justice."

- Allemander Secretary of State Edith Mayenne

P.S. Allemande has officially charged Paul Kaufman with conspiracy to commit murder.

Official Republic Response

Well then this should all be done legally. Petition the nation he has fled to for extradition, and have him tried in an international court of law, not some puppet court in Allemander or Peopleita. This way no sovereign rights are violated. Use of force in this matter is both distasteful and a blow to national sovereignty.

Donald Giert, Foreign Minister.
The People's Republic of New Sans.

To: Allemande

There is nothing you communist fucks can do.

Im safe in my new home and see no reason to throw myself in to your evil communist show trial.

I KILLED NOBODY!!!

I only gave orders for the security forces to deal with evil genocidal terrorists.

YOU HAVE YET TO ANSWER ANY OF THE POINTS I MADE ABOUT YOUR MOTIVES IN MY LAST THREE MESSAGES.

ANSWER THEM IF YOU DARE!

It is funny how Allemande does NOT seek to try those evil terrorists who killed all those Torontian citizens in the shopping mall, when Jack Norton led his assualt into the city centre in Seattle.

You seem to IGNORE the crimes of the terrorists, including the terrorists at the university, and seek to blame me for things I did not even do!

Your nation is the central pole of all the evil that is in the world and your nation seeks the extermination of the human race.

Good day!

Paul Kaufman

Kreynoria']The United Holy Empire of Kreynoria offers President Kauffman a luxurious vacation home in Hawaii, with a retinue of bodyguards and servants. We are also offering a training base where you can train your followers into elite soldiers to take back Torontia from the gay communist Norton.

So the Untied Holy Empire openly admits to wanting to train a terrorist sect, and aid in the downfall of a democratically elected government simply because of differing political ideologies? The Republic is sickened by your intentions, and would advise you to desist in this course of actions.

The people of Torontia hav suffered enough.
Bretarian Home Secretary-Endar Forn

With all due respect, the Allemande´s authorities stated wish to criminally prosecute Mr. Kaufman for his alleged activities as ruler of a sovereign nation is proposterous. If these alleged crimes indeed took place, they took place not in the territory of Allemande, but in the territory of the sovereign nation of Torontia. No country can claim to be entitled to prosecute and trial the citizen of another country for actions carried out in the later. To do so would constitute a serious breach of all principles of international law. And one could never believe that Mr. Kaufman would be granted a fair trial with the strict observation of due process in the criminal justice sistem of a country that activelly conspired for his downfall.

We shall also consider any forcible seizure of Paul Kaufman to be an act of war. May we also add that your vacation home will have a state-of-the-art security system.

Encrypted Message (Top Secret):

To: Paul Kaufman

From: Emperor Constantinius I

For fear of our international reputation, we shall not fire any nuclear missiles. However, I believe that our nuclear quartermaster could accidentally let slip a nuke and launcher.

To: Kreynoria

You have my consent to destroy Seattle with a nuclear strike.

Let destroy the whole city, the evil Norton government and then I can walk back into power.

Paul Kaufman

<snip>

OCC: I do not believe that was a publicly relayed message ie you cant just say look at what he said when it's specifically adressed to someone. If it were say intercepted (which I see no mention of in here) then that's another matter.

[YOU HAVE YET TO ANSWER ANY OF THE POINTS I MADE ABOUT YOUR MOTIVES IN MY LAST THREE MESSAGES.

ANSWER THEM IF YOU DARE!"We do not conduct trials in the papers. We conduct them in a court of law, in accordance with the Rule of Law. Mr Kaufman knows this full well and seeks to have us try him 'by media' so that he can claim jury tampering once finally apprehended."It is funny how Allemande does NOT seek to try those evil terrorists who killed all those Torontian citizens in the shopping mall, when Jack Norton led his assualt into the city centre in Seattle.

You seem to IGNORE the crimes of the terrorists, including the terrorists at the university, and seek to blame me for things I did not even do!"In making this claim, Mr. Kaufman is trying to muddy the waters."

"Mr. Norton did not kill citizens of the United States of Allemande, nor did the students, faculty, or staff at Seattle University. Mr. Kaufman has perhaps confused us with The United Socialist States of Peopleita, which is accusing him of terrorism and genocide. We are simply accusing him of ordering the murder of our citizens."

"We have no jurisdiction over the crimes Mr. Norton, Mr. Kaufman, or anybody else visited upon the people of the Republic of Torontia; those crimes are therefore, legally speaking, of no concern to us. I'm sure that a fascist like Mr. Kaufman has no concept of separated and articulated powers, so it is naturally beyond him to realize that Allemande has no right and no duty to pursue him or anyone else for anything other than this single crime. In fact, had he not conspired to kill our citizens, we would not be after him at all."Your nation is the central pole of all the evil that is in the world and your nation seeks the extermination of the human race."That's a curious statement coming from a man who used chemical weapons on his own people and who repeatedly called for other nations to join him in a crusade to establish fascist dictatorship throughout the world."

"Because we are a federal republic, run in accordance with democratic principles, and under due legal authority as stipulated in our Constitution, we are completely incomprehensible to Mr. Kaufman, who calls us 'communists' and 'terrorists', displaying his tenuous grip on reality for all the world to see."

"We call upon The Glorious Republic of Leafanistan to show the world its respect for justice and extradite Mr. Paul Kaufman immediately."

- Secretary of State Edith Mayenne

Paul Kaufman got off his plane and looked at the wonderous forest that surrouded the Sierra Visions Inc. Campus. Next to him was a modern airport, the flags of the Glorious Republic waving in the wind. The tranquil sounds of the forest, birds and other animals filled the air with a great amount of beauty. Off in the distance, the Sierra Visions Inc. Campus gleamed in the sunlight, the harbour filled with ships, the skies clear, the factories in the nearby areas only emitted water vapor. It was wonderous. Soon a convoy of Black SUVs pulled up. The door opened on the middle one, and a man in a well dressed suit came out. 2 armed guards, one a teenager, another an older man also stepped out. The suit walked up to Paul and said "Welcome, to the Glorious Republic of Leafanistan. You can see why they call it the Glorious Republic. I am CEO and Chairman of Sierra Visions Inc. the largest state-owned arms industry and the most profitable. We currently supply a massive amount of arms to countries like McKagan, Halberdgardia, Seripendal, and your country as well. Please if you will come with me into the car with me. We can take you to your penthouse. The suit gestured toward the SUV.

OCC: I do not believe that was a publicly relayed message ie you cant just say look at what he said when it's specifically adressed to someone. If it were say intercepted (which I see no mention of in here) then that's another matter.

OOC: Apologies, a jerk reaction, need to learn to look before I leap.

Take all your overgrown infants away somewhere
And build them a home, a little place of their own.
The Fletcher Memorial
Home for Incurable Tyrants and Kings.

And they can appear to themselves every day
On closed circuit T.V.
To make sure they're still real.
It's the only connection they feel.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, Reagan and Haig,
Mr. Begin and friend, Mrs. Thatcher, and Paisly,
"Hello Maggie!"
Mr. Brezhnev and party.
"Scusi dov'è il bar?"
The ghost of McCarthy,
The memories of Nixon.
"Who's the bald chap?"
"Good-bye!"
And now, adding colour, a group of anonymous latin-
American meat packing glitterati.

Did they expect us to treat them with any respect?
They can polish their medals and sharpen their
Smiles, and amuse themselves playing games for awhile.
Boom boom, bang bang, lie down you're dead.

Safe in the permanent gaze of a cold glass eye
With their favorite toys
They'll be good girls and boys
In the Fletcher Memorial Home for colonial
Wasters of life and limb.

A fitting end to Mr. Kaufman, with the advantage that it spares us all the hassle and tension of a trial.

OOC: For all those of you thinking about conducting operations in Leafanistan, I'll point out the obstacles. An integrated nearly fully automated AA system comprising of units hidden in mountains, underground, above ground, in tall office buildings, firing missiles and AAA. Any citizen that passes a special course is allowed to own an ATRPG and a AARPG. And with 2 metre tall citizens who have all gone to military school, a lot of Leafanistanis, own and operate these things. A Civilian Defense Force, meant to be a rear guard, consists of citizens not actively enrolled in the military, but trained to use guns (read: above age 8-85) can be given guns in a heartbeat. The CDF operates MiG-21s, MiG-25Gs and F-15s as part of the "Clear Skies Act". 0.2% of the population owns a MBT or LBT in accordance with lax gun ownership laws and hunting laws. The standing military consists of around 3% of the citizenship with everyone above age 6 enrolling in a military school at some point in their lives. Children stay in year-long military schools where they hone their abilities and undergo military and educational training, they only get to visit their parents during holidays and select weekends during the summer and winter. And I haven't even gotten to my military forces. I'll let you imagine the hardships.

ah yes the people who criticise Thatcher when she closed down industries that were gonna kill the country eventually if they continued....

Thatcher nearly did kill the country, don't you know what Black Monday is? And the current state of the railways in Britain is down to her, privateising it to shitty firms who haven't a clue what they are doing.

To prevent enemy incursion during this delicate time, all aircraft entering Leafanistan must register at our consulate/embassy to recieve a coded transponder, all aircraft in Leafanistani Airspace must power down their weapons systems and turn on transponders so we can maintain a lock on their aircraft at all times. Thank you.

-Minister of Police Action

To: The Glorious Republic of Leafanistan
From: The United States of Allemande
Re: The Extradition of Ex-President Paul Kaufman

First, we ask that you not let Mr. Kaufman leave your country until this matter is resolved.

Second, we believe that a suitable deal can be reached between Leafanistan and Allemande that would be to our mutual benefit...

Leafanistan will deal with the foreigner as we please. We have our own justice system, and if commits a crime, he'll be punished.

-Minister of Justice

With all due respect, the Allemande´s authorities stated wish to criminally prosecute Mr. Kaufman for his alleged activities as ruler of a sovereign nation is proposterous. If these alleged crimes indeed took place, they took place not in the territory of Allemande, but in the territory of the sovereign nation of Torontia. No country can claim to be entitled to prosecute and trial the citizen of another country for actions carried out in the later. To do so would constitute a serious breach of all principles of international law. And one could never believe that Mr. Kaufman would be granted a fair trial with the strict observation of due process in the criminal justice sistem of a country that activelly conspired for his downfall."With all due respect to the Republic of Sergio the First, Allemande does in fact have jurisdiction to pursue Mr. Kaufman."

"Under Federal law, 'murder' is defined as 'any unlawful taking of the life of a citizen of resident of the United States of Allemande that can not be classified as involuntary manslaughter, where no State of the Union has superseding jurisdictional rights'. Allemander courts have interpreted this to permit Federal prosecutors to issue warrants for the 'unlawful' slaying our our citizens overseas, and persons apprehended by deputised members of our military have in fact been successfully charged and convicted under this statute."

"The reason this does not represent a violation of the sovereignty of other nations is twofold:
Only the killing of our citizens or persons legally resident in Allemande at the time of their death is covered by the statute; in essence, we are protecting our own. Other countries may do with their citizens what they will, but they may not slay our citizens or those under our protection without running afoul of our law.


The killing must be 'unlawful'. Judgement of the legality of a killing is made with reference to the laws of the nation in which the killing takes place. This does not, however, give foreign governments carte blanche to slay our citizens; implicit in the concept of 'legality' - and the doctrine I am going to describe here has actually been tested in our courts, so this is not theory - is the idea that the killing must be the end result of 'due process of law'. A dictator's order is not due process, especially when - as in this case - the dictator attempts to maintain the pretence of being an elected official governing a free country. Mr. Kaufman broke Torontia's own laws in ordering an extra-judicial massacre, making his actions 'illegal' under Torontian law.So it should be obvious that, by limiting our statute in scope to cover 'illegal' killings of our own citizens and legal residents, our laws shows proper deference to the sovereignty of other nations."

- Allemander Secretary of State Edith Mayenne

OOC: For the record, the Real Life™ United States of America asserts that it is not limited in the enforcement of its laws to punishing acts committed on its own soil. See the legal briefs in the cases of Manuel Noriega and Pablo Escobar. I'm merely applying the same legal doctrine, with somewhat tighter control.

Paul Kaufman got off his plane and looked at the wonderous forest that surrouded the Sierra Visions Inc. Campus. Next to him was a modern airport, the flags of the Glorious Republic waving in the wind. The tranquil sounds of the forest, birds and other animals filled the air with a great amount of beauty. Off in the distance, the Sierra Visions Inc. Campus gleamed in the sunlight, the harbour filled with ships, the skies clear, the factories in the nearby areas only emitted water vapor. It was wonderous. Soon a convoy of Black SUVs pulled up. The door opened on the middle one, and a man in a well dressed suit came out. 2 armed guards, one a teenager, another an older man also stepped out. The suit walked up to Paul and said "Welcome, to the Glorious Republic of Leafanistan. You can see why they call it the Glorious Republic. I am CEO and Chairman of Sierra Visions Inc. the largest state-owned arms industry and the most profitable. We currently supply a massive amount of arms to countries like McKagan, Halberdgardia, Seripendal, and your country as well. Please if you will come with me into the car with me. We can take you to your penthouse. The suit gestured toward the SUV.To: The Glorious Republic of Leafanistan
From: The United States of Allemande
Re: The Extradition of Ex-President Paul Kaufman

First, we ask that you not let Mr. Kaufman leave your country until this matter is resolved.

Second, we believe that a suitable deal can be reached between Leafanistan and Allemande that would be to our mutual benefit...

Under Peopleitan law, threataning to attack Peopleita is classified as conspriacy to commit an act of terrorism, and anyone who comits this crime can be charged with Terrorism. Kaufman has commited this offence on numroeus occasions.

Also, Peopleitan intelligence has gathered conclusive evidence that Kaufman ordered the WMD attacks on Seattle, in an attempt to commmit genocide of people who oppose the government. Therefore, the arrset warrent is justified, and if found guilty, will spend the rest of his life in solitary confinement, or (back by demand of the public) will be executed by firing squads.

Leafanistan will deal with the foreigner as Leafanistan, and the will of the working class will deal with the foreigner!

-Minister of Justice

OOC: My posts have been showing up behind his posts, wtf?!

To: Leafanistan
Im afraid.

I think you may be tempted to turn me in if the international community give you insentives.

Im sorry but I need to leave Leafanistan, Im off to Kreynoria.

Now send your SUV escort to my private jet.

Paul Kaufman

Under Peopleitan law, threataning to attack Peopleita is classified as conspriacy to commit an act of terrorism, and anyone who comits this crime can be charged with Terrorism. Kaufman has commited this offence on numroeus occasions.

Also, Peopleitan intelligence has gathered conclusive evidence that Kaufman ordered the WMD attacks on Seattle, in an attempt to commmit genocide of people who oppose the government. Therefore, the arrset warrent is justified, and if found guilty, will spend the rest of his life in solitary confinement, or (back by demand of the public) will be executed by firing squads.

Take all your overgrown infants away somewhere
And build them a home, a little place of their own.
The Fletcher Memorial
Home for Incurable Tyrants and Kings.

And they can appear to themselves every day
On closed circuit T.V.
To make sure they're still real.
It's the only connection they feel.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, Reagan and Haig,
Mr. Begin and friend, Mrs. Thatcher, and Paisly,
"Hello Maggie!"
Mr. Brezhnev and party.
"Scusi dov'è il bar?"
The ghost of McCarthy,
The memories of Nixon.
"Who's the bald chap?"
"Good-bye!"
And now, adding colour, a group of anonymous latin-
American meat packing glitterati.

Did they expect us to treat them with any respect?
They can polish their medals and sharpen their
Smiles, and amuse themselves playing games for awhile.
Boom boom, bang bang, lie down you're dead.

Safe in the permanent gaze of a cold glass eye
With their favorite toys
They'll be good girls and boys
In the Fletcher Memorial Home for colonial
Wasters of life and limb.

A fitting end to Mr. Kaufman, with the advantage that it spares us all the hassle and tension of a trial.Falling down
to the ground
old memories come rushing up to meet me now,
and in the space between the heavens
and the corner of some foreign field
I had a dream.
I had a dream.

<What is it?!?>

A place to stay,
something to eat,
somewhere old heroes
shuffle safely down the street,
and you can speak out loud
about your doubts and fears.
What's more,
no one ever disappears,
you never hear the Standard Issue
kicking in their door.
You can relax
on both sides of the tracks
and manics
don't blow holes
in Bandsmen by remote control,
and everyone has recourse to the Law
and no one kills the childern any more.
No one kills the children any more

Night after night,
it runs around my brain.
His dream is driving me insane.

In the corner of some foreign field
the gunner sleeps tonight.
What's done is done.
We can not forget his final scene.
Hold on to the dream.
Hold on.OOC: I'll see your Pink Floyd, and... :cool:

To: Leafanistan
Im afraid.

I think you may be tempted to turn me in if the international community give you insentives.

Im sorry but I need to leave Leafanistan, Im off to Kreynoria.

Now send your SUV escort to my private jet.

Paul Kaufman

OOC: Ok, my time offset is 5 minutes slower than all of you, my atomic clock says this, so the NS forums are off by a bit. Or you are. I'm not sure.

The teenaged body guard pushed a supersonic drug injector on the exposed part of Paul's neck. Paul quickly became tired, the suit smiled and said "What part of state-owned don't you understand?" Leafanistani Special Forces set up snipers around the plane. They aimed their rifles at the Torontian personnel guarding the plane, and fired. The betrayal was nearing its completion. The suit thought to himself "Once again, I have served the people, I've arrest a madman, and made millions via weapons sales!"

To: Leafanistan
Im afraid.

I think you may be tempted to turn me in if the international community give you insentives.

Im sorry but I need to leave Leafanistan, Im off to Kreynoria.

Now send your SUV escort to my private jet.

Paul KaufmanDo Leafanistan and Kreynoria share a border?

Kaufman is now in international airspace flying to Kreynoria.

Well according to the order of the forums, you are now unconcious and driving down the Autobahn route 57, to a port filled with pirates and hoodlums. Expect to be sent to a Allenmande freighter.

OOC: My posts have been showing up behind his posts, wtf?!Yeah, what's up w/that?!?

Under Peopleitan law, threataning to attack Peopleita is classified as conspriacy to commit an act of terrorism, and anyone who comits this crime can be charged with Terrorism. Kaufman has commited this offence on numroeus occasions.

Also, Peopleitan intelligence has gathered conclusive evidence that Kaufman ordered the WMD attacks on Seattle, in an attempt to commmit genocide of people who oppose the government. Therefore, the arrset warrent is justified, and if found guilty, will spend the rest of his life in solitary confinement, or (back by demand of the public) will be executed by firing squads.If you get your hands on him first, talk to me. The Islamic Republic of Ayaddha has been quiet in all of this, but they want him too. ;)

OOC: Ok, my time offset is 5 minutes slower than all of you, my atomic clock says this, so the NS forums are off by a bit. Or you are. I'm not sure.

The teenaged body guard pushed a supersonic drug injector on the exposed part of Paul's neck. Paul quickly became tired, the suit smiled and said "What part of state-owned don't you understand?" Leafanistani Special Forces set up snipers around the plane. They aimed their rifles at the Torontian personnel guarding the plane, and fired. The betrayal was nearing its completion. The suit thought to himself "Once again, I have served the people, I've arrest a madman, and made millions via weapons sales!"



OOC:That is like something you see in a movie VERY COOL

Again with all due respect to the learned opinions of Madam Secretary of State Edith Mayenne, the Republic of Sergio the First still has serious reservations about your desire to prosecute Mr. Kaufman. You have mentioned several jurisprudence of your high courts to assert this intention of yours. Let me then refer you to several dispositions of our Republic´s penal procedure Code wich we fell apply to the current state of affairs. The Republic of Sergio the First may trial crimes carried out in foreign soil if:
- a citizen of our Republic victmizes another citizen of our Republic in a foreign country and the criminal is found in our territory;
- a citizen of our Republic victimizes a citizen of a foreign power in a foreign country and the criminal is found in our country;
- a citizen of a foreign power victimizes a citizen of our republic in the territory of the former, and, for a number of reasons, the criminal justice sistem of the former doesn´t take action against its citizen (due, for instance, to the breakdown of state authority, or a intentful omission of the authorities of that state).
What we feel we have here is that, alledgely, a citizen of a foreign power vicmized citizens of the Republic of Allemande in the territory of the former. The Republic of Sergio the First considers the intent of the Republic of Allemande to be a breach of the principle of respect for a sovereign nation for this simple fact: Allemande has not fully ascertained the lack of capability of the Torontian Republic to trial Mr Kaufman-which seems not to be a problem, as the civil unrest in Torontia has ceased. Surely the Torontian authorities are willing to submit Mr. Kaufman to the full penalty of their laws, so there is no intent to omiss criminal prossecution.
Our Republic strongly feels that the Republic of Allemande should, prior to any action against Mr. Kaufman, contact the Torontian authorities to inquire about their intentions in this matter.
Republic of Sergio The First Attorney General Sergio Landolt Costa

[B]OCC: For the record, the legal provisions i´ve mentioned are included in the Code O Penal Procedure of the Real Life Republic of Portugal.

Allemande has not fully ascertained the lack of capability of the Torontian Republic to trial Mr Kaufman-which seems not to be a problem, as the civil unrest in Torontia has ceased. Surely the Torontian authorities are willing to submit Mr. Kaufman to the full penalty of their laws, so there is no intent to omiss criminal prossecution.Actually, President Norton (of the Republic of Torontia) declared that he would not try Mr. Kaufman for his crimes. So, in the absence of any prosecution on their part ("an intentful omission of the authorities of that state", in your words), we are free to press our own claim.

As for the impartiality of the process, we guarantee that Mr. Kaufman will recieve a fair and open trial in Allemande.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sergio the First
Take all your overgrown infants away somewhere
And build them a home, a little place of their own.
The Fletcher Memorial
Home for Incurable Tyrants and Kings.

And they can appear to themselves every day
On closed circuit T.V.
To make sure they're still real.
It's the only connection they feel.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, Reagan and Haig,
Mr. Begin and friend, Mrs. Thatcher, and Paisly,
"Hello Maggie!"
Mr. Brezhnev and party.
"Scusi dov'è il bar?"
The ghost of McCarthy,
The memories of Nixon.
"Who's the bald chap?"
"Good-bye!"
And now, adding colour, a group of anonymous latin-
American meat packing glitterati.

Did they expect us to treat them with any respect?
They can polish their medals and sharpen their
Smiles, and amuse themselves playing games for awhile.
Boom boom, bang bang, lie down you're dead.

Safe in the permanent gaze of a cold glass eye
With their favorite toys
They'll be good girls and boys
In the Fletcher Memorial Home for colonial
Wasters of life and limb.

A fitting end to Mr. Kaufman, with the advantage that it spares us all the hassle and tension of a trial.

Falling down
to the ground
old memories come rushing up to meet me now,
and in the space between the heavens
and the corner of some foreign field
I had a dream.
I had a dream.

<What is it?!?>

A place to stay,
something to eat,
somewhere old heroes
shuffle safely down the street,
and you can speak out loud
about your doubts and fears.
What's more,
no one ever disappears,
you never hear the Standard Issue
kicking in their door.
You can relax
on both sides of the tracks
and manics
don't blow holes
in Bandsmen by remote control,
and everyone has recourse to the Law
and no one kills the childern any more.
No one kills the children any more

Night after night,
it runs around my brain.
His dream is driving me insane.

In the corner of some foreign field
the gunner sleeps tonight.
What's done is done.
We can not forget his final scene.
Hold on to the dream.
Hold on.


You believed in their stories of fame, fortune and glory.
Now you're lost in a haze of alcohol soft middle age
The pie in the sky turned out to be miles too high.
And you hide, hide, hide,
Behind brown and mild eyes.

"Oi!"

Bring it on!

Well according to the order of the forums, you are now unconcious and driving down the Autobahn route 57, to a port filled with pirates and hoodlums. Expect to be sent to a Allenmande freighter.Thank you. We'll make this worth your while. TG me and we'll work out payment. You like psychotronics? Non-lethal crowd control, maybe?

If not, we've got even better stuff. Ask me about Project Medusa.

[B]Actually, President Norton (of the Republic of Torontia) declared that he would not try Mr. Kaufman for his crimes. So, in the absence of any prosecution on their part ("an intentful omission of the authorities of that state", in your words), we are free to press our own claim.

As for the impartiality of the process, we guarantee that Mr. Kaufman will recieve a fair and open trial in Allemande.


The authorities of the Republic of Sergio the First have not been aware of any public statement of the governement of Torontia in this matter.
Even if this happened, such statement would have to come from the proper authorities in Torontia, namely the Attorney General.
Again we state our deepest respect for the Republic of Allemande, but we still believe that legal proceedings who took place in you country could never be seen as fair and objective.
We would sugest a change of venue for the proceedings, prefeerably to a country wich took no part in the recent Torontian crisis.
[I]The Attorney General Sergio Landolt Costa

The authorities of the Republic of Sergio the First have not been aware of any public statement of the governement of Torontia in this matter.
Even if this happened, such statement would have to come from the proper authorities in Torontia, namely the Attorney General.
Again we state our deepest respect for the Republic of Allemande, but we still believe that legal proceedings who took place in you country could never be seen as fair and objective.
We would sugest a change of venue for the proceedings, prefeerably to a country wich took no part in the recent Torontian crisis.Jack Norton said that while he would NOT seek revenge on Paul Kaufman and that Kaufman would walk a free man in Torontia if Norton wins, Jack Norton promised to CONFISCATE all of Kaufmans bank accounts and all of his business assets and said that Kaufman should live the life of the average Torontian worker.First post in the thread.

Again. we clearly say that such statement must come from the Torontian authorities wich have jurisdiction on such matters (do remenber that in a democratic sistem the principle of the separation between the judicial and the executive is paramount...or isn´t Torontia a democracy?)

ah poor Kaufman, shoulda went straight to Frozopia the fool.

Again. we clearly say that such statement must come from the Torontian authorities wich have jurisdiction on such matters (do remenber that in a democratic sistem the principle of the separation between the judicial and the executive is paramount...or isn´t Torontia a democracy?)We can explore that question once we have confirmation that Leafanistan has delivered Mr. Kaufman into our hands - which we expect momentarily.

"Ah...should have went to the IOS. Because we have cookies. Nough said."

By the way, what are the legal regime of immunities in Torontia of former rulers for crimes commited in office? (Since Allemande plans to trial Mr. Kaufman in accordance with the Torontian law)

By the way, what are the legal regime of immunities in Torontia of former rulers for crimes commited in office? (Since Allemande plans to trial Mr. Kaufman in accordance with the Torontian law)We'll find out... ;)

We'll find out... ;)
The Republic of Sergio the First would like to express his firm belief that Allemande´s authorities will carry themselves in this matter with the same diligende used in its attempts to bring Mr Kaufman to its Justice.

The Republic of Sergio the First would like to urge all law-abbiding and freedom- loving nations to join us in assuring that what is rapidly becoming known in legal fields as the case of "Allemande vs Paul Kaufman" doesn´t become a travesti of justice. If, as it seems, the former President of Torontia comes face to face with the Allemande´s criminal justice sistem, we would propose the following:
- that all nations demand to have legal observers present at the location of the trial;
- that all nations demand unrestricted acess of the media to the Mr. Kaufman´s trial;
- that a international assembly of criminal lawyers be formed to take up the defense of Mr. Kaufman.

The Attorney-General, Sergio Landolt Costa

one question. What happened to his money? Me thinks one of you Do-Gooder nations aint as good as you claim. Me thinks its been 'intercepted' somewhere along the line towards justice.

So the Untied Holy Empire openly admits to wanting to train a terrorist sect, and aid in the downfall of a democratically elected government simply because of differing political ideologies? The Republic is sickened by your intentions, and would advise you to desist in this course of actions.

The people of Torontia hav suffered enough.
Bretarian Home Secretary-Endar Forn


You don't no any of this.

No different than the Bay of Pigs.

Take all your overgrown infants away somewhere
And build them a home, a little place of their own.
The Fletcher Memorial
Home for Incurable Tyrants and Kings.

And they can appear to themselves every day
On closed circuit T.V.
To make sure they're still real.
It's the only connection they feel.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, Reagan and Haig,
Mr. Begin and friend, Mrs. Thatcher, and Paisly,
"Hello Maggie!"
Mr. Brezhnev and party.
"Scusi dov'è il bar?"
The ghost of McCarthy,
The memories of Nixon.
"Who's the bald chap?"
"Good-bye!"
And now, adding colour, a group of anonymous latin-
American meat packing glitterati.

Did they expect us to treat them with any respect?
They can polish their medals and sharpen their
Smiles, and amuse themselves playing games for awhile.
Boom boom, bang bang, lie down you're dead.

Safe in the permanent gaze of a cold glass eye
With their favorite toys
They'll be good girls and boys
In the Fletcher Memorial Home for colonial
Wasters of life and limb.

A fitting end to Mr. Kaufman, with the advantage that it spares us all the hassle and tension of a trial.


You know the final line goes?

"Now the final solution can be applied"

The Commonwealth of Tograna calls upon the United Nations to vote on a resolution to apprihend Kaufman and bring him before a war crimes tribunal at The Hauge.

one question. What happened to his money? Me thinks one of you Do-Gooder nations aint as good as you claim. Me thinks its been 'intercepted' somewhere along the line towards justice.OOC: Funny you should mention that.

About three hours out of Leafanistan, the Allemander freighter Penguin hove to at the prearranged rendezvous point and waited for the SSN Dragonet to surface and pulled alongside. Still woozy from the drugs he'd been given, Paul Kaufman was lowered over the side and immediately taken below decks. The submarine then pulled away, submerged, and set course for Allemande.

When Kaufman awoke, he very nearly had to be sedated again, as he swore and ranted endlessly. "You god-damned terrorist commie fucks, you'll all die! Every last one of you!"

Fortunately he could simply be locked in the brig, and the noise was only audible to the guards stationed outside his cell.

After dark, the Dragonet rose to the surface and lit up a brace of coloured strobe lights. Fifteen minutes later, a helicopter roared up out of the night to hover over the Dragonet's aft deck. Four men and a woman were winched down and went below; the helicopter returned to the CGN from whence it came and the Dragonet descended beneath the surface once more.

The captain greeted the new arrivals. "He's in the brig," he said without further elaboration. Then, turned to the woman, he said: "Lieutenant, come with me."

They entered a briefing room and closed the door. The captain eyed the lieutenant - a JAG officer - and asked her bluntly: "Do you know why you're here?"

"Presumably," she said, "To make sure that Mr. Kaufman isn't mishandled in any way."

"Officially, Lieutenant, that's correct. But," he said, handing her an envelope with her name on it, "There's a little more to it than that. Read."

She did. After a minute, she looked up, shocked.

"Do you have a problem with those orders, lieutenant?" asked the captain. "Because if you do, there's still time to call the others and get another JAG down here." He fixed her in the eye. "You can back out if you choose, and no one will think the worse of you for it. But if you read those orders between the lines, you'll see that you'd be doing the world a service."

She sat for a moment, and then answered slowly. "Just so that there's no mistake ... you want me to observe chemical interrogation of Mr. Kaufman, and verify that he is never asked any question that might compromise his prosecution."

"That's correct," said the captain. "He possesses important intelligence, and we mean to get it. We will get it. You will not divulge to anyone the information gained, but you will observe everything, and take whatever notes - upon public release, should that be necessary - will permit you to testify under oath that at no time was Mr. Kaufman asked a question pertaining to the charges against him. Moreover, if he begins to spontaneously discuss such matters, you are to order the interrogation team out of the room until he stops, and treat anything he says as though it were held under client-attorney privilege."

"But he's not my client," protested the Lieutenant.

The captain shook his head. "For all intents and purposes, he is - at least in the sense that you represent his interests," he began. Seeing her protest, he raised his hand to head it off, continuing: "Except that you can not prevent this interrogation - only sanitise the information gained and ensure that Mr. Kaufman's right to a fair trial is not compromised."

"If there's any doubt..." she began.

"Then his right to a fair trial takes precedence. That's not my order, Lieutenant. That comes from the Commander-in-Chief," he said. Then he looked at his watch.

"What's it going to be, Lieutenant?"

She didn't make him wait any longer. "I'll do it."

OOC: Am I getting too far ahead? Let me know...

To: Leafanistan

You broke your promise on Kaufman!

Im breaking my promise on Islamic terrorism and Global Jihad!

Now get used to hearing the words 'Jihad' and 'nuclear terrorism' on a very regular basis, traitor!

As one man adjusted the IV drip on Paul Kaufman's arm as his head turned this way and that, the interrogator crooned softly to Paul Kaufman.

"OK, Paul - can I call you Paul? - good..." he said in a soothing tone. "We're going to play a little game, a role-playing game. That's right, Paul. I'm going to describe a situation and you're going to tell me what you'd do. It'll be fun, Paul."

He paused, looked at a sheet of paper on his clipboard and said, "OK, Paul, you've just been offered a wonderful opportunity to invest in a major real estate deal, but you need $700 million in earnest money to get on board. You sit down at your computer - are you there yet, Paul..?"

Kaufman nodded slowly. "Good," said the man. "You open your browser and go to log in at the bank. You pick up the brown book under the pink agate paperweight on your desk and look up the account number, the number of your account at Megalithic Bank." He paused, and continued. "You type that in and it asks for your password. What's the password, Paul?"

Paul flinched a bit.

"Paul?' asked the man soothingly "You can't invest in the real estate deal unless you have $700 million, and the folks who are offering you this promise $3.2 billion in just 18 months. What's the password, Paul?"

"j00_C0mmUn157_f3k5..." he said.

"Type it in one key at a time so that you don't muff the password, Paul. The Internet's slow today. Say each letter as you type it in..."

"j-0-0-_-C-0-m-m-U-n-1-5-7-_-f-3-k-5," he said.

"Good. We're in now. How much is in that account...?"

<...>

"We appear to have recovered $65 billion, Mr. President," said the Secretary of Defence. "not as much as we'd hoped, but pretty good all the same."

President Blum nodded. "Send the Leafanistanis their $20 billion, but let them know that our gratitude doesn't end there, and that we still want to talk about selling some of our products through their store - re-branded as theirs, of course."

"Contact Torontia and tell them that we found $41 billion of the $74 billion Kaufman stole, and we'll keep looking for the other $33 billion, but we don't hold out much hope of finding it," he told them. "Half a loaf is better than none."

"Of the remaining $4 billion, send $1.4 billion to the Ayaddhi families and $2.6 billion to our survivors - that'll be just over $83 million each - and call it a day," he finished.

"You're willing to let Kaufman keep the other $9 billion?" said a Presidential aide.

"Sure," said the President. "He'll need to pay his lawyers, won't he?"

Algeristan']To: Leafanistan

You broke your promise on Kaufman!

Im breaking my promise on Islamic terrorism and Global Jihad!

Now get used to hearing the words 'Jihad' and 'nuclear terrorism' on a very regular basis, traitor!Islamic terrorism? Jihad? Nuclear?

Hmmmm.To: The Plutocratic Shahdom of the Parthians
From: The United States of Allemande

We have a winner!

"We appear to have recovered $65 billion, Mr. President," said the Secretary of Defence. "not as much as we'd hoped, but pretty good all the same."

President Blum nodded. "Send the Leafanistanis their $20 billion, but let them know that our gratitude doesn't end there, and that we still want to talk about selling some of our products through their store - re-branded as theirs, of course."

"Contact Torontia and tell them that we found $41 billion of the $74 billion Kaufman stole, and we'll keep looking for the other $33 billion, but we don't hold out much hope of finding it," he told them. "Half a loaf is better than none."

"Of the remaining $4 billion, send $1.4 billion to the Ayaddhi families and $2.6 billion to our survivors - that'll be just over $83 million each - and call it a day," he finished.

"You're willing to let Kaufman keep the other $9 billion?" said a Presidential aide.

"Sure," said the President. "He'll need to pay his lawyers, won't he?"

All the money Kaufman has since he decided to become a resident of Leafanistan, falls under the Leafanistani 100% tax. All of his money is now property of the Glorious Republic and the working class. LONG LIVE THE WORKING CLASS!

-Minister of tricking foreign dictators
The Glorious Republic of Leafanistan

All the money Kaufman has since he decided to become a resident of Leafanistan, falls under the Leafanistani 100% tax. All of his money is now property of the Glorious Republic and the working class. LONG LIVE THE WORKING CLASS!

-Minister of tricking foreign dictators
The Glorious Republic of LeafanistanSIC: "I think we need to at least make the pretense of giving the people of Torontia back some of the money stolen from them. If Leafanistan doesn't think $20 billion is enough compensation for their efforts, we are certainly willing to discuss additional payment in kind of the sort mentioned earlier (new arms and technology for your storefront). Again, our dear friends in Leafanistan are invited to contact us in private regarding such arrangements."

SIC: "I think we need to at least make the pretense of giving the people of Torontia back some of the money stolen from them. If Leafanistan doesn't think $20 billion is enough compensation for their efforts, we are certainly willing to discuss additional payment in kind of the sort mentioned earlier (new arms and technology for your storefront). Again, our dear friends in Leafanistan are invited to contact us in private regarding such arrangements."

SIC: We plan to donate most of the money to you and the other affected nations anyway. We'll accept the $20 billion. Also, any requests for our leader to contact your personally cannot be fulfilled. He is on business elsewhere.

-Minister of Brandy for the Nerds
The Glorious Republic of Leafanistan

SIC: We plan to donate most of the money to you and the other affected nations anyway. We'll accept the $20 billion. Also, any requests for our leader to contact your personally cannot be fulfilled. He is on business elsewhere.

-Minister of Brandy for the Nerds
The Glorious Republic of LeafanistanSIC: We're still serious about the weapons. We figure that we can offer stuff through your storefront with your brand name on it, and it will keep us out of the news while we get field testing and a (small) share of the profits. Good for you, good for us.

Giving up on the U.N. has ruined me. :dr_evil: :D

(OOC: This thread tagged. Someone please make sure to make it clear when Kaufman's kidnapping becomes public knowledge.)

(OOC: This thread tagged. Someone please make sure to make it clear when Kaufman's kidnapping becomes public knowledge.)"Kidnapping?"

Are you implying that Leafanistan had no right to extradite him from their soil?

Morvonian National News


This just in a tip from a unknown person has led us to belive that Paul Kaufman was kidnapped for his new home under the protection of the Leafanistan.


He is wanted from several countries due to the incident at a school involving the death of many inocent people.We here at MNN are trying to get a interview with the Leafanistan goverment,we will keep you informed


for MNN this is Nina lock.......



OOC: Leafanistan,if you want you can make a interview with Nina and you can control what she says.

Paul Kaufman awoke with a splitting headache.

"Hey!" he yelled at the guards. "What happened? How long have I been asleep?"

I feel like shit, he thought.

"You came down with a real nasty flu. You were delerious, and we had to get a medical team on board ship to treat you. If it were me, I'd have let your ass die," said the sailor.

"Your mother's a communist tart, you stupid fuck!" he yelled back. Bastard. I'll see them all dead.

Still, through the haze in his head he had some really vivid, really disturbing dreams.

"Kidnapping?"

Are you implying that Leafanistan had no right to extradite him from their soil?

OCC: Extradite my foot, he got shanghied. Extradition is a formal process by which a criminal suspect held by one government is handed over to another government for trial or, if the suspect has already been tried and found guilty, to serve his or her sentence. I see drugging, requisition of monetary assets and chemical interrogation. Shit I'm a dictator and I'm envious here. :p

"Kidnapping?"

Are you implying that Leafanistan had no right to extradite him from their soil?

(OOC: I'm implying nothing one way or the other. I used the term kidnapping merely because he was taken against his will.)

OOC: like it Allemande, nice rping

OOC: This is it!

The Trial of Paul Kaufman (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=435753)


Starting with the pre-trial manuevers. Court TV ain't got nothin' on us!