NationStates Jolt Archive

Imperial International News Network
http://img83.imageshack.us/img83/9062/rbn1xx.gif

In shocking news today, the Imperial Union has just passed a new bill called "The Anti-Abortion Act of 2___". In brief, the act of abortion (abortion being getting rid of a fetus before birth) has been banned throughout the Imperial Rosian Republics and its Protectorates. It passed through the United Imperial Assembly with a with a 62/38 percent vote. The Socialist Party of The Imperial Union are one of the parties praising the decision. IBN's Talk Tonight with Larry Duke had a chance to interview Grand Chancellor Sergei Ilyanov on the issue.

Larry Duke: Mr. Ilyanov. What is your position in the passing of this bill?

Sergei Ilyanov: I support this bill. As the Imperial Union and maybe the world might know, I am against abortion because I am a Roman Catholic. Granted I never had a chance because I always went with what the people told me to do. And apparently, they like killing fetuses.

Larry Duke: How do you think the Imperial Union, and more importantly the Island, will react?

Sergei Ilyanov: They'll probably say that we are becoming the next Parthian Empire and I'll probably get death threats from the Jewish Liberation League...

Larry Duke: What about the inner members of your Party? How are they reacting?

Sergei Ilyanov: Hmm... as you know, there is no clear view of abortion in any of the Parties, so it is mixed. As it is probably in all of the other Parties.

Larry Duke: How do you think the world will react?

Sergei Ilyanov: Well if they can stop nuking each other for one minute, maybe we'll get a condemnation or two.

Larry Duke: What led the UIA (United Imperial Assembly) to banning abortion?

Sergei Ilyanov: Well I think the pictures of the dead babies, the amount of suicides and health problems attributed to abortion, and the sobbing women giving testimonies did the trick.

Larry Duke: One last question. What do you want to say to all of the other people who oppose you?

Sergei Ilyanov: Suck it.

In relation with the banning of abortion, protests are already taking place outside of the Executive Villa, which as you know is in the center of Embassy Row and could lead to interesting role play. The leader of this protest appears to be Johann von Gadorin von Hattensborough van Jeorge ben Joseph of Eltengrad the III of Muscovy... esquire. We turn to them now.

(Turn to a mass of angry fat trashy women, stereotypical gay men, dirty commies, and whiny people cheering for a man on top of a soapbox)

"We will not allow the Union to become an authotorian state! We will retain our freedoms! We should have the right to be as slutty as we can without consequences!"

(The audience cheers)

"What's next? They'll ban crack and leave us with only marijuana?! They'll ban porn? They'll make us get a job?!"

(The audience gasps)

"No! We will retain the freedoms our ancestors have given us! We should be able to remove our fetuses and eat them... not that I do that, but we should! This could lead to much worse, maybe even censorship. We might even have to stay up late to watch our favorite pornos!"

(Some people begin to faint in the audience)

"Yes my friends! We must fight! Destroy the Government!"

(At that moment an Imperial Mk. II MBT rolls down Embassy Row)

"Agh! Tank! Run!"

(And thus they ran like babies)

The Viceroy of New Roska, George Mendez, gave a statement to IINN saying "The reason you don't see New Roskans marching around the street is simple, because we don't care. Unlike those Rosians, ick. Make a riot about spilled milk". In other news, the Jewish Liberation League was thwarted as they were about to bomb the Roska City International Mall, but were stopped when the Jew's yalmekah fell off revealing a dirty bomb. A letter was also found on him stating "Lower the taxes on imports to the Island or prepare to be destroyed. Hail Money! In greed, the JLL" The Governor of Roska City has declared martial law and is now searching the city. That is all for this hour of news. And now for sponsors...

Note I am not really an anti-semetic and I just find the idea of an extremist Jewish organization. Oh and, I'm back, oh and, I really am banning abortion and in real life I am against it. But let's not get into that. Enjoy!

ooc: welcome back

OOC: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFES!!!!!!

Ha! Ha! Just Jokeing, Welcome Back TIOR

OoC: Lol...pwnage TIOR! Nice job, good to have you back comrade.

Thank you for the greetings, but what about a nice IC post along with the greeting, hm?

Upon seeing, both first-hand and across the numerous Rosian and Soviet news channel, the protests taking place due to the ban of abortion in the nation, Ambassadar to the Imperial Union Yuriy Kilyanarov issued the following, very brief statement:


"The Armed Republic of Soviet Bloc supports our allies in the Imperial Union, as we too have a ban on abortion. We believe, and have always believed, that the unborn do have rights unless the life of both child and mother are at risk, in which case the mother's life takes precedence. The unborn have the right to be born so that they may live, whether or not their mother surrenders them to any sort of adoption center or child service. Thank you."

At the end of the brief statement, broadcast likely across the world or at least in the embassy's lobby, the ambassador steps down and leaves the podium as flashbulbs erupt, hoping to catch a final glimpse before the embassy's press secretary takes the ambassador's former position, answering whatever questions there are about the Armed Republic's own ban on abortion.

The Fujishima Corporation has no comment on this.

-Public Affairs Dept.

OOC: Welcome back, TIoR. This is UX, just sprouted 2 more puppets, one FT, one psycho corporation. Good to see ya again!

The Silver Sky officially supports this action by The Island of Rose and will stand behind them.

-President Jason Garner

OOC: Nice to have you back TIoR.

Nice harmless bored bump

Official Imperial Response

For once, we officialy agree with something the Rosian government did. Good job!

OOC:Yaaay!!!! You're baaack!!!!

The Empire of Borograd condems this bill, those responsible for its passage and all those who endorse and/or support it.

We believe that a ban on abortion is an infrigement upon women's rights, and that religious groups should hold no sway in national politics. Each person is entitled to his or her own morals and ideals.

Religion is the opiate of the masses comrade, and must be extinguished as The Borograd Provisional Government has mandated in the early years of our nation.

The Borograd Politburo is officially ending all diplomatic and economic relations with the following nations:

The Island of Rose
Doomingsland
The Silver Sky
Soviet Bloc

We intend to follow a foreign policy similar to detente of the 1970's period of the Cold War between the U.S.S.R and the U.S.A

Official Message to the governments of Borograd and Agnostic Deeishpeople;

We do not care what your tiny nation thinks aslong as you keep out of other nations politics/decisions, otherwise you may find yourself in very, very hot water.

-President Jason Garner


OOC: Didn't realize I passed 900 post YAY! New rank!, only 89 to the next one!

The government of Agnostic Deeishpeople condems the new abortion bill that was passed recently in The Island of Rose. Prime Minister Dee Marx said, "We will no longer consider the Island of Rose as a civilised country and we shall not conduct any business with them in any way until it repealed its abortion law."

When will you realize that in this modern world size is insignificant?

Our drone armies alone number in excess of 5 billion units, not to mention over 500 nuclear launch codes we have acquired. Our stealth fighters are the best in the industry and capable of delivering complete nuclear armageddon to any nation in the world. However, we do realize that such tactics will result in the destruction of Borograd and we maintain said forces only to enforce the national integrity of our nation. In a sentence, "it's not the size, but how you use it"

We would also like to extend a hand of friendship to the Agnostic Deeishpeople for opposing blatantly uncivilized actions.

Our drone armies alone number in excess of 5 billion units...

... which is impossible for a small nation like you because I role play post modern tech and do not acknowledge drone armies of doom, well, on this forum anyway. I don't even acknowledge drones for that matter.

I never claimed I built those droids; I have recently purchased them along with a vast quantity of other arnaments. A simple forum search will reveal over 10 major equipment purchases, totalling in the trillions.

dont ignore me you stupid boys.

Official Statement from The Imperial Union
http://img301.imageshack.us/img301/2396/tiorseal0ja9ab.png

Oh dear. It appears these nations are new to the International Stage. Well, it's open mic night and you appear to be bombing, Comrade. So let us talk about Imperial History, Rosian History in specific.

- The Imperial Union has always fought for freedom.

- The Island of Rose has been socialist for seventy years and is still under control by a leftist party.

- Drugs, prostitution, porn, and all other sorts of vice are legal in the Imperial Union, no matter how disgusting it is.

- The Rosian Roman Catholic Church has contributed to the renovation of many dead neighborhoods, especially in Roska City.

- The Imperial Union believes in a small Armed Forces also, that is why we use only 0.7% of our population.

- The Imperial Union maintains a large Navy, thus any attack on us will be obliterated.

As you can see, I have refuted all of your arguments. Now, let us stop threatening each other now, okay? Good.

Sincerely,

Alexander Roska
Member of The Imperial Council
Chancellor of Defence

According to this http://www.sunsetrpg.com/nsxmlparser.php (enter you nations name in the space): you only have a military budget of $691,747,049,645

That's less then 1/5 of my total militay budget, you don't have trillions of dollars.

And Agnostic Deeishpeople, who said we'd ignore you?

And as TIoR said, most MT-PMT roleplayers don't even acknowledge droids of doom armies like you said.


where did that site come from??

how did it calculate those things ??

i am so excited.

OOC: There are actually 2 sites
http://www.sunsetrpg.com/nsxmlparser.php
and http://nseconomy.thirdgeek.com/nseconomy.php

Just enter your nations name in the fields, for a better explaination read the stickies.

the second one doesnt work..
the first one does.

This has offically became more interesting.

Let's not forget the star of the thread, me. Now back on subject eh? Oh and deat the OOC posts, that'd be nice >_>

Let's not forget the star of the thread, me. Now back on subject eh? Oh and deat the OOC posts, that'd be nice >_>Don't be so selfish, spoilsport! j/k ;P

The two embassy staff members stood at a window on the second floor of the embassy, peering across and down the street as protesters continued with their 'anti-abortion ban' rants and screamings, occasionally being chased back and forth by Rosian tanks.

"Damn, protesters piss me off."

"I know, back home I never did any protesting, you?"

"Like hell... What's to protest about? Seriously, why protest when you can kill the president or revolt?"

"I know, they just... Don't get it, do they?"

"No... Hey! I know what we can do... Be right back." The second man rushed out of the room. Demonic laughing could be heard down the hall, he returned with a duffle bag emblazoned with the 'Ministry of Foreign Affairs Embassy and Diplomatic Corps.' wording and symbols.

"What the hell is that Petr?"

The man looked up and grinned at the first before unzipping the black diplomatic bag. He reached his hand in, as he slipped it out he produced the jet black receiver of what must've been an FSS-59B, a version of one of the nation's deadliest firearms. He lifted it up and reached his other hand in, producing the barrel and forward hand grips. Upon fastening them he produced the butt-stock, snapping and locking it into place.

"Petr... What are you going to do with that?"

While attaching the Simonov SXK Superior scope to the receiver rail, he looked up and said, "What else am I going to do with it? Peg a protester." He grinned and quickly finished the attachment, then loading ammunition into the rifle.

"Are you serious?!"

Petr gave a light shrug, "What's the harm that can happen? I did this all the time back home... Well, not to protesters, but to average people walking down the street." He started laughing, "You should've seen the looks on their faces." Upon finishing loading the rifle he worked the bolt. The weapon was loaded. He looked at it curiously, "Say, you wanna shoot somebody too?"

The second man stood back, "Hell no! I shouldn't be here... I can't do this." He started breaking down.

Standing up, Petr lifted the weapon to his shoulder and moved to the window, carefully sliding it open a crack. He turned off the lights in the room and positioned himself in the dark, but with a full view of the protesters. He scanned the crowd and found the one. "There we go..." He quickly adjusted his windage on the scope and measured the height of the target with the on-scope curve. Now he knew his distance. He found the chevron on the scope and lined it up on a spot behind the man's ear but on his skin. The safety was off.

He increased tension on the sniper rifle until he knew it was at the pull limit, then he let his finger snap. A loud crack and thud erupted... But not from the rifle, the second man had knocked over a lamp and fell to the floor, covering his head. The rifle uttered a muffled "Pfft."

"Perfect shot!" Petr grinned as he viewed the target through the scope... "Dmitriy! You have to see this!" Dmitriy complied and slowly got up, peeking around the window.

In the middle of the crowd was a man, an area behind and under his ear smeared with a red liquid. His arms flailed as he collapsed to the ground. People were yelling and screaming, pointing every which way as the crowd dispersed. Dmitriy looked at Petr with a sorrowful glance, "You... You shot him?"

Petr gave him a dirty look, "Uhh... Yeah." Petr glanced out the window, "Oh shit, he's getting up." He quickly took aim and fired another round, hitting him in the chest. "Damn I love air soft rifles firing the blood pellets. Look at him run!"

"Wait... That was an airsoft gun."

"Yeah... Wait, you thought it was real?! Dumbass." He burst out laughing, collapsing to the ground just in time as somebody scanned the window to see who fired.

Within a matter of minutes, the two men's laughing fits had ceased, "Well, I suppose we better make up an alibi. I was taking a piss and you were... Doing paperwork. Good?"

"Yeah, lets go get some coffee..."

"Good idea."

OOC:LOL Soviet Bloc that's a classic!

IC: A offical statement from the Al Muslimeen Goverment

"Meh, gald to see you nation is still kicking.."