NationStates Jolt Archive

For a long time everyone has thought that Santa was a fraud. Well everyone was wrong. Osama decided to launch one attack to totaly hurt and bring america to it's knees. He was going to bomb the North Pole and take Santa as a hostage. Osama guided his army of Al Chicken Quesadillas or whatever they're called into the North Pole. They got there and tried to take over Santa's workshop but were confronted by little mini people with AK-47's. they were the Elves! The elves opened fire and the Al Quesadillas ran and ran. now after several attacks on both sides it's all out war!

"Santa we are getting killed right now." said a little elf.

"I know I'm calling for reinforcements." said Santa.

"But who?"

*Then a tree poped out of the ground and the Peach Cobbler elves came out.*

"Oh my jolly ho ho ho god Santa they're the Peach Cobbler elves. I love their cookies."

"I know we shall take down Osama."

"Chancellor! Wake up!" Shouted a concerned Aide. "We have a severe situation"

Vostok Hazard struggled to his feet. "What's going on?"

"There's some trouble in the North Pole. Santa Clause is under attack by the Al Qaeda."

Vostok gave him a funny look.

"Chancellor, if we don't do anything about this, the youth of the republic will probably start an uprising. They're dissatisfied with the current policies as it is, and if they don't see toys this christmas, it will only get worse."

"Get the Chief of defense on the line." Replied Vostok

The aide quickly phoned the Chief of defense and explained the situation. The military bases at Fort Rellikaide and Two Bays were placed on high alert, and at the sound of a piercing alarm the troops stationed at the bases rushed out of their barracks and boarded waiting transport jets and helicopters.

The RNCI's two Dreadnaughts the Cygnus and the Aquarius were put out to sea, along with the fleet's two aircraft carriers and a number of transport vessels filled with troops and combat hardware.

The force was massive, but there was only one thing that the top brass were concerned about ; would the NCI force that's accustomed to tropical climates survive in the north pole? They would soon find out.

"Chancellor! Wake up!" Shouted a concerned Aide. "We have a severe situation"

Vostok Hazard struggled to his feet. "What's going on?"

"There's some trouble in the North Pole. Santa Clause is under attack by the Al Qaeda."

Vostok gave him a funny look.

"Chancellor, if we don't do anything about this, the youth of the republic will probably start an uprising. They're dissatisfied with the current policies as it is, and if they don't see toys this christmas, it will only get worse."

"Get the Chief of defense on the line." Replied Vostok

The aide quickly phoned the Chief of defense and explained the situation. The military bases at Fort Rellikaide and Two Bays were placed on high alert, and at the sound of a piercing alarm the troops stationed at the bases rushed out of their barracks and boarded waiting transport jets and helicopters.

The RNCI's two Dreadnaughts the Cygnus and the Aquarius were put out to sea, along with the fleet's two aircraft carriers and a number of transport vessels filled with troops and combat hardware.

The force was massive, but there was only one thing that the top brass were concerned about ; would the NCI force that's accustomed to tropical climates survive in the north pole? They would soon find out.


OOC: Finally someone replies. And they are the Al Chicken Quesadillas so this wa it's funny dosen't offend anyone and I was kinda hopoing someone would fight Osama or be osama but this works as well.

"Hi Santa we are the Peach Cobbler Elves."

*Peach Cobbler Elves fling magical cookies on the ground that turn into weapons.*

"Let's go kick Osama's Ass!!"screams Santa.

All over there was blood and presents. Body Parts and cookies. Death and Candy Canes. Grenades and gumdrops flew through the air and Santa loaded all the presents with highly explosive naplams. 2 of Osama's fighter Jets were flying and saw him. This is what they saw http://www.therockalltimes.co.uk/2001/12/24/fighter.jpg. Santa then pelled out an AK-47 and shot both pilots sending their planes to the ground. He then trough an explosive dolly down and screamed out loud for everyone to hear.

"HO HO HO BITCHES!!!!!!!!"

The Airborne forces arrived at the North Pole in a matter of hours. From their aircraft, the NCI forces could see the warzone taking place on the ice of the arctic. They couldn't waste any time. Thousands of paratroopers immediately jumped from their planes into the frigid air that intensly burned the skin of the soldiers who never experienced anything remotely cold in their lives. Heavier aircraft flew low to the ground to drop a few squads or raiders, CISS-89 rocket launchers and the two types of main tanks used by the RNCI. Some of the troops were worried that the vehicles would freeze in the intense cold. Once on the ground the soldiers ran across the ice. They were not used to walking on such strange terrain, and many of them found themselves stumbling on the ice while trying to gain a foothold. Even more were slowed down dangerously while trying to wade through the snow. After a tortious journey across the ice, terrorists were spotted fighting with Santa's elves. Snipers in the RNCI force hugged the ground and sighted their rifles on the terrorists in the distance. The sinpers were covered by CISS-89 rocket launchers that were launching their payload at the terrorists like it was going to go out of style. After picking off a few terrorists and firing a load of missiles into their ranks, the riflemen charged foward with their guns blazing. The troops in the raiders did the same, but after driving an open vehicle at high speeds in the frigid cold proved to be murderous on the occupant's faces, so they ditched the vehicles and continued the charge on foot. Many RNCI soldiers lost their lives to the terrorists because the extreme cold proved to be distracting. All of them wished that the carriers and the battleships would show up to provide them with well-needed support

Candyland Region of Spooty

"Mr Spoob! I just got off the phone with Mr Spoot, the Al-Queda have gone to war with Santa!" Spoob turned startled in his chair "by god, think of all the children who won't get any toys!" He thought for a while "Alright send the 1st Spoota -Loots brigade to try and help Mr Claus!" Spoob prayed that the Spoota's were not too late.

Meanwhile, the Bozo and the Fungles, Ironclads began to move off to the North Pole, or Greenland, they hadn't yet decided.

Normally, we would relase Trogdor in a situation as this, but it seems he's gone on a vacation to bug Chronosia.

u guys are funny..

"Muhuhuha!" said osama, "I have a diabolical plan. I will blow up the large pole that looks like a candy cane, and I will make all of the elves lost because they cant find the entrance." Osama ran and got an Al-Quesadilla to put on the bomber jacket and go find the pole...

bump

.....during the Grueling shootout, a loud noise was heard from the sky. The RNCI looked up and saw a squadron of 1.42 fighter jets. The fleet had arrived.

The jets started to fire missiles into ice around the Al Quesedilla terrorists. The ice shattered on contact and hundreds of terrorists fell into the ocean below to meet a slow painful freezing death. The rest in the area tangoed down in order to avoid the same fate.

Further out to sea, the Cygnus and the Aquarius sailed deeper into the arctic circle. The massive ships shattered the ice on the ocean like it was thin glass.

"Sir, we're approaching the North Pole" commented Talus's vice captain. "Requesting permission to commence shelling."

"Permission granted." said Talus as he picked up the ships' telephone to order his gunners to fire at will. He also told the gunners to make sure they didn't level Santa's workshop. The large guns on both vessels immediately started to blast the Al Quesedilla's positions with their 415mm main guns.

On the decks of both ships, pilots were boarding the vessel's on-board attack helicopters to join the jets in the bombardment and to provide the ground troops with much-needed air support.

Much further behind the scenes of the fighting, one of the few Sadako stealth boats that were dispatched on the mission prepared to launch a barrage of CIM-5 ballistic missiles equipped with conventional non-nuclear warheads at the suspected positions of the Al-Quasedilla terrorists...

The terrorist in the bomb jacket finally reached the candy cane and he blew him self up...

*all of a sudden big tanks that were redf and green with a santa with a circle and cross threw it that read "X-MAS NO MORE" rolled in firing rocets every where. Then the K-Mart army came in and said "We will build a K-Mart mini-mall here clear out."

"This is Starbucks we want every corner to have us we shall attack."

the Starbucks army has been deployed.

"Santa what the hell is going on?"

"I don't know but let's watch as they kill each other."

the starbucks propaganda truck came around and sang a new verions of Silver bells:

and on every street corner
you hear
latte bells
latte bells
its coffee time
in the city
du du du du duuu
drink-a-drink
drink-a-drink
taste green tea
taste green tea
soon it will be coffee daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

wow, thats all i have to say

than Michael Jackson appeared out of nowhere