NationStates Jolt Archive

OOC: Comedy RP here, basically RP your leader already being in the room, and maybe being hit by a stray pie or something, and have them join in. This is not a serious RP, so it has no bearing on your real nation.

IC:
Cowlquape looked over down the lines of tables, four long tables, national leaders being seated everywhere. He smiled to himself as he stood up, casting his gaze around the other leaders, settling for a moment on Fuhrer Dyszel.
A small devil appeared on his left shoulder, poked him and shouted in his ear, then remembered he couldn't hear through that ear, and moved over to the right ear, shoving the angel off in the same motion.
"Hey, nows your chance. Look at that bitch over there, acting all high and mighty, take her down a peg or two, come on, not afraid are you?"

Cowlquape didn't remember picking up the cheese quiche, but there it was, in his hand. He hefted it, launching it across the room, hitting the Fuhrer right in the face. His next weapon was a plate of long spaghetti strands, which he spun expertly across the room, but spun just to the left of the Fuhrer, hitting the Jonothanian Prime Minister, Jon Davis-Clarke, by accident. He groaned and ducked as a tomato flew by his head, thrown from behind him, from an unseen source. Before long food was flying everywhere.

A stray shot flew onto his shirt, staining it as the red seeped past his silky clothes and splashed his pants. "Not on my watch, bitch." Arborgard murmured, standing up with a pair of hot thermoses in his hand, and flung them with anger across the room, as hot water splurged out of the thermoses, and zipped through the air.

Der Fuhrer felt a sudden smash in her face and the cheese quiche drip from her face in clumps.....

He did not just....cheese....of all humanly possible things......

She stood up, wavering a bit from her temporary blindness from her cheese coated face, and heaved the first item in her reach at the direction which the cheese quiche was thrown from.

Of course......she couldn't see, so it was uncertain whether her marked target had been hit or not, or if an "innocent" bystander took the delicious hot fudge sundae topped with nuts and whipped cream with a cherry or two instead.

Cowlquape ducked as the hot fundge sundae flew past him.
Shit, even when blinded she's a good shot. Might not have been the best plan that.
He sprinted into the kitchen and came out with a saucepan on his head, sliding under the table, grabbing a tomato on the way. Unfortunately he grabbed it too hard and it exploded in his hand.
SHIT!
He reached up over the table again, grabbing the first thing that came to hand. Ducking back under, he weighed up the apple crumble carefully, then placed it underneath the shoe of a nearby leader when he lifted it. He slid down the floor underneath the table so that the leader wouldn't know it was him.

Hot Fudge smeered across Grand Duke Kardens Formal Armour, he walked to the table and grabbed a dish of, somthing, and threw it in the general direction of whoever had hit him with the sundae.

Colin Graves, Prime Minister of East Canada, was just sitting down when he inadvertently stepped on the apple crumble. His shoes were soon covered with bits of apple and crust..they were ruined. Colin was pissed. "I had just gotten these damn things yesterday..and they're already ruined. However, he saw an excellent chance for revenge.

A plate of stromboli laid in front of him. Colin remembered back to his days in high school, where people would make "boli bombs" and throw them at each other. He began tearing the strombolis to pieces, and threw them at no one in particular.

His wife Mai would not escape unscathed either. The bowl the Grand Duke launched had missed its intended target and drizzled its contents all over her hair. Now, as most people know, Mai is very concerned about how she looks- especially her hair. Enraged, she picked up a bowl of marinara sauce and threw it in the direction the sundae came from. Or so she thought, as her vision was blocked.

Arborgard had stepped on the apple crumb, as it smeared it self all over his shoe. "Damn it!" He yelled, picking up a bowl full of peanuts, and threw the peanuts, later throwing the bowl.

"Damn it!" He yelled, picking up a bowl full of peanuts, and threw the peanuts, later throwing the bowl.
Cowlquape ducked as peanuts hailed against his saucepan like hailstones. When it ended, he peeked back up, just to get nailed in the saucepan with a bowl. He fell back beneath the table with a groan. He awoke a few minutes later to find someone had put peanuts down his shirt. He muttered to himself and got up, the saucepan made an interesting clang noise as Cowlquape hit the bottom of the table. He scrabbled out in a rather undignified fashion, rolling and diving across the room, upending a chair on the way.

Jason Garner, President of The Silver Sky was sitting down when a bowl of marinara sauce flew just above his head and hit the wall behind him.

He got up walked into the kitchen and grabbed some gear, he had a big oven pan strapped to his chest and one on his back, a pot on his head and another oven pan strapped to his arm for a shield, he grabbed the nearest food, which happened to be a bowl of ranch dressing and hurled it off into the crowd some where.

'Now this is my kinda war!' He though as he dodged various thrown food.

President Nim was just getting up when he was hit in the face by something brown which didn't look, feel, or taste very nice... Maybe he should have put his hand over his mouth quicker when he goes to yawn. But Now, his best suit was covered in the stuff and he wanted revenge. He picked up a bowl of mashed potato and a spoon and started flicking it at random people...

"I can still taste it" President Nim said quietly to himself "And come to think of it... I think it's Semolina"

Even more enraged now, he flicked the mash faster...

President Garner was too busy dodging and deflecting food stuff to see the mash headed straight at the back of his head. *SPLAT!*

He froze, turned and saw the StoneRaven's President Nim, a evil grin spread across his face, he picked up a tomato, weighed it, and threw it baseball style at President Nim's heads.

Mai yelled to Colin, "Duck!"

Colin was confused. "I don't see a duck...only a bowl."

"THAT'S WHAT I MEANT, STUPID!" Unfortunately, her reply arrived too late, and the bowl of ranch dressing hit Colin square in the face. Unphased, he wiped his face and ran into the kitchen, where he grabbed a cart.

His days from special forces would come in handy now. He grabbed several dozen eggs out of the pantry and placed them on the cart. He jumped on the cart and rolled it through the kitchen doors, hurling eggs like grenades as he went.

Meanwhile, Mai was still pissed about the whole affair. That didn't stop from executing her revenge though. She took a can of whipped cream and started squirting it at people, using it as cover to reach the pies. When she reached the pies, her karate skills showed themselves. With extreme accuracy, she threw pies at anyone she could see, laughing maniacally as she went.

President Nim swayed on the spot for a minute.... tomato juice was flowing down his nose. Unfortunately, it didn't look enough like blood to be funny. Then he regained his balance... and picking up a bowl of the nastiest, soggiest cheapest lasagne he could find, he aimed and threw it straight at President Garners face...

"Ooooo, What a result!"

When President Garner saw Colin Graves riding the food cart, he devilish smile came upon his face, he deflected s few eggs with his shield and reached for a nearvy watermelon, he picked it up and chucked it at Colin....

Only to bed hit in the face the next second by President Nim's bowl of lasagne...

Jon was caught completely off guard, and jumped off his chair, using it as a temporary sheild. He wiped the spaghetti off his face, grabbed a particularly large tomato from above him, aimed it at Cowlquape's, seat, and threw. He then noticed the seat was vacant. He surveyed the room, not a sign

Hmm. He couldn't have gone far. Somewhere to hide...not to far awa..

He saw saucepan being pulled down in the kitchen.

Gotcha!


He chucked a few things onto his plate, and carefully headed closer to the kitchen. Crawling towards a closer table which he had chosen as his sheild, he noticed an unfamiliar leader sliping up, and a saucepan moving near him. He had come out again! He took aim, this time with a cake he had rudely grabbed from somebody on the way.

And then he attacked.

REVENGE!

The watermelon struck Colin, exploding into thousands of pieces. Colin was knocked off the cart by the force of the blast, the remaining eggs falling and breaking all over him. Mai, wanting to avenge her temproarily useless husband, grabbed a Lemon Meringue pie and threw it squarely at President Garner.

When Colin got up, he looked around for something evil to use--and then saw it. "God Bless France," he said, as he saw a plate of Roquefort cheese. He then launched it squarely at President Garner too, adding insult to injury.

Jon felt a tap on the back. When he turned, Cowlquape shoved a bowl of bread and butter pudding straight into his face. He smiled and took off his saucepan in a bowing motion, unfortunately hitting Jon between the eyes with it. He shrugged and went off to the warzone. A guy in front of him had an ovenpan on. That was no fun. He pulled the ovenpan back, then let go, diving behind a nearby table.

President Nim was surveying the room for odd bits of food that would be good to throw... Suddenly he caught sight of something and smiled... He tried to find a worthy target, although that wouldn't be easy with everyone engaged. But he noticed something... Colin Graves had his back to President Nim....

President Nim crept up behind Colin Graves...

And dumped a bucket of custard over his head....

President Garner deflected the pie and dove under the table to dodge the plate of Roquefort cheese, under the table kis eyes grew wide like a school boy's, it was a treasure trove of bananas! He grabbed about 20 and piled them on the inside of his shield, he stood up from under the table and re-located Colin and his wife, he then started chucking the bananas like a gattling gun would chuck bullets.

Mai and Colin did their best to avoid the bananas, but some still hit and splattered.

Surprised by the custard, Colin reached into his pocket and threw an egg at President Nim. He then went to the kitchen to try and figure out what to do next.

Mai had started lurking about, searching for her next victim. She saw an opprotunity when Nim hit Colin with the custard. She tapped him on the back, and, when he turned round, hit him right in the face with a cherry pie.

Meanwhile, Colin finally came out of the kitchen, this time with a cart, a meat grinder, and a whole lot of hotdogs. After modifying the grinder, Colin turned it into a Gattling gun of sorts and was shooting hot dogs out of it.

Chancellor Vostok Hazard was flat out in the wrong place at the wrong time, and was therefore caught in a crossfire of flying food. In a fit of revenge, Vostok grabbed a bottle of mustard and started to furiously squirt it randomly around the room. Next he grabbed a tureen full of soup and dumped it's entire contents on the person sitting next to him, who turned out to be President Nim. "It was not enough" He thought, as he reached for a ladle of creamed corn, which he catipulted across the room - right into the face of Cowlquape.
Vostok suddenly felt something hit him in the back of the head. It was an egg thrown by Colin Graves. Vostok turned around, and casually approached Graves - and poured a bottle of maple syrup in his hair.

Cowlquape saw Colin Graves under some heavy fire from far off, and decided to go and see what he could do to help. He grabbed a pack of biscuits, shrugged as he picked up a hammer almost nonchalantly and crushed the biscuits into powder, then crept up behind Mai Graves and tipped the crumbs all over her hair, then he sprinted off between the tables, giggling like a little girl.

OOC: no one else throw stuff at me, I'll be gone for about 3-3 1/2 hours, gotta baseball game. Bye!

Oh, good idea about this thread Sanctaphrax! :D

Eggs he could do.... Cherry pie was a little worse but still was annoying when knocked on the floor but SOUP!!!!!!!!!! Now that he couldn't stand. He reached under a chair and took out a bowl of Swede and mushy peas mixed together and threw it straight at Vostok Hazard.... Euck! He hated mushy peas...

Now he was annoyed about the cherry pie. So... while trying to deflect bits of mustard and the like he vigorously chewed bits of gum.... On finishing this he approached Mai and stuck a few decent sized wads in her hair....

"That should do it" he thought..

"Oh, a wiseguy, eh," Colin said as he turned to face the Chancellor. He then reached for a jar of honey, and poured it all over the Chancellor's head. He then threw a bowl of cherries at him for good measure.

Mai, however, was LIVID. Infact, so livid, she started incohrent rambling in French. She continued yelling in French, while picking up handfuls of fried rice (with soy sauce on them) and throwing them at Cowlquape. She also picked up some chocolates with caramel in them, crushed them in her hand, and threw the remains at Cowlquape.

After his attack, Vostok found himself under heavy, um - fire again, so he retreated to the kitchen and came out with a crate full of small milk cartons. He proceeded to lob the milk cartons like grenades, which hit Jon and Garner directly. He didn't stop throwing them, and nailed President Nim with two cartons. One of his cartons missed the target, but managed to knock a turkey off it's plate, which lodged itself nicely on Mai's head

Eggs he could do.... Cherry pie was a little worse but still was annoying when knocked on the floor but SOUP!!!!!!!!!! Now that he couldn't stand. He reached under a chair and took out a bowl of Swede and mushy peas throw together and threw it straight at Vostok Hazard....

Now he was annoyed about the cherry pie. So... while trying to deflect bits of mustard and the like he vigorously chewed bits of gum.... On finishing this he approached Mai and stuck a few decent sized wads in her hair....

"That should do it" he thought..

A still livid Mai picked up some baked beans, and smeared them all over Vostok's face, then throwing a jar of soy sauce at him.

The Collective Oligarchy's leaders had an advantage over the rest: numbers. The slight disadvantage was that half the oligarchs were cowardly bureaucrats with no intention of fighting.

"Incoming!" Cried one of the oligarchs with the manliness of a small girl.

Nikolai Fedorenkov ducked as a lethal payload of meringue pies flew over his head, the upturned table, he and the other oligarchs were sheltering behind the battered construction of aging metal. Mustapha Krin was cowering, screaming for his guards that the rest knew would never come while Henry was being tended to by another oligarch, the dark stains on his chest informed the observer he'd been struck down by a chocolate mud cake. Poor bastard.

"Comrades, we must take the fight to the enemy!" Shouted Nikolai, the rest of the council members fidgeted and kept heads bowed.

"Well?" The silence offended Nikolai again.

"Fine, the last one to charge gets a face full of meringue from me!" The Oligarchs leapt up.

"Alright, we're going over the top!" Roared an oligarch, as the whizzing of near misses from the fatal meringue pies rushed by. The first lot went over the top, only to have the ground around them shredded up by pies and other assorted foodstuffs. However, they kept at it and Nikolai himself was at the head of the third wave, charging he lobbed on pie at Der Fuhrer, the dessert exploding in the woman's face in a most comical manner before sending a projectile pie at Prime Minister Pentephrax, the rest of the oligarchs were busy lobbing meringue death and any who stuck their heads up over the top.

"Hand-to-hand!" Ordered Fedorenkov and as one, the oligarchs affixed banana-bayonets to pies and bellowed a warcry in unison, however, if one looked closely, you could notice the absence of no less than half the oligarchs, most of whom were either crying behind tables or posing as defencless children or just waiting 'till the enemy's back was turned! [to run away]

Sergyn Torshan, President of Taldaan, had taken refuge beneath the table at the start of the fight. Foodfights were all too rare at cabinet lunches, and despite his current position, he was enjoying it immensely. From not far away, he heard the sound of running feet and giggling.

His attack was planned out, and would take great stealth and timing. He clutched the mighty frankfurter in both hands, lurking beneath the table like a presidential lurking thing with a strangely homoerotic frankfurter.

"Banzai!"

He sprung like a leaping salmon, swinging the pole of spicy meat at Cowlquape's head like a club.

ooc: My last post of the day, but if this continues, I'll be back.

Cowlquape had a sudden flash of heroism. The films he'd been seeing lately had been affecting him badly. His current train of thought went something like Well, they could all catch bullets, surely I can catch a simple pie? The thought was certainly there, but as he caught it, it splattered all over him. He muttered and rigged up some timers and other equipment to a large chocolate chip cookie, part of a recent world record attempt for biggest cookie. (They'd almost got it too, they were one cm short. The baker denied eating that little corner of it, so it would remain a mystery as to how it got from the cookie to his face) he ducked underneath a table as the timer went down.
10.....9....8....7....6....5....4.....3....2.....1..... BOOM!!! Pieces of cookie flew everywhere, hitting everyone, including a group of Oligarchs who seemed to be hiding from something.

President Nim liked milk... President Nim really liked milk... The only thing he didn't like about milk was it being thrown at him. He didn't know what it was, but he had some obsession over throwing half-liquid, half-solid things. He picked up some cheap rice pudding and... using the mashed potato spoon... he started lobbing it at everyone in sight, especailly Vostok Hazard and the Oligarchs... because they seemed like good targets.

After Vostok depleted the milk cartons, he reached for a two-litre bottle of Coca-Cola and shook it up. He crept up to President Nim and tapped him on the shoulder. When Nim turned, Vostok twisted the cap off...

After soaking President Nim, he wanted to get revenge on Colin for the honey attack, but he couldn't find him, so dumped the rest of the bottle all over Mustapha Krin, who he found hiding under a chair.

Sergyn Torshan, President of Taldaan, had taken refuge beneath the table at the start of the fight. Foodfights were all too rare at cabinet lunches, and despite his current position, he was enjoying it immensely. From not far away, he heard the sound of running feet and giggling.

His attack was planned out, and would take great stealth and timing. He clutched the mighty frankfurter in both hands, lurking beneath the table like a presidential lurking thing with a strangely homoerotic frankfurter.

"Banzai!"

He sprung like a leaping salmon, swinging the pole of spicy meat at Cowlquape's head like a club.
Cowlquape giggled as the saucepan deflected the shot from the Taldaani President. He pointed to a piece of imaginary pie on the Presidents shirt, and when he looked down, he flicked his nose. He picked up a nearby canister of whipped cream and opened fire all over his face and shirt, then turned to run, only to hit a chair and fall over it, wincing as the pain shot to his groin. He looked up at the Taldaani President in a look that asked for mercy, despite knowing that none was forthcoming.

He was getting hit with little bits of meringue and what semed like all the food in the room mixed together... But he didn't mind... this was fun...

Until he turned around and saw Vostok grinning at him with a bottle of coke...

Next thing he new he had hit the wall... Wow that coke fizzed up...

At which point a thought entered his mind... a horrible thought... "Wasn't I meant to be tidying up today?.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

Bits of cookie had fallen on Mai Graves, some of them sticking to her, even. Colin walked over and casually licked some off, much to Mai's confusion. He said, "Hmm...tastes good."

Rather than sticking round, though, he ran around with two cans of whipped cream, squirting them everywhere, even on Mai.

Shogun Tomzilla the First had first taken cover as the fight erupted. Then cookie had gotten all over him. He was angry. And he had warrior heritage. He saw the Sanctaphraxian, Cowlquape. He picked up his entire piece of raw salmon. Weilding it like a sword, he ran towards Cowlquape, anger rising in him.

"BANZAI!"

After recieving a rather glob of whipped cream to the face, Vostok grabbed the turkey that landed on mai's head earler, ran up behind Colin and stuck it on his head. Vostok then proceeded to grab a smoked salmon and then went to seek out more targets And conviently enough, it had appeared that Shogun also had a salmon, but he also appeared to be pre-occupied. Vostok had to find someone else to attack.

Cowlquape looked around urgently for a weapon against the salmon weilding Shogun. His eyes settled on a large trout lying between some pieces of lettuce. Picking up the lettace, he flung it at the Shoguns head, then he picked up the trout and blocked the Shoguns first hit, then spun round and ducked, aiming with an uppercut towards the Shoguns chin with the trout.

The Shogun was just barely able to grab the tuna coming at him. Why trying to hold that still, he was swinging his salmon like a katana as he had been instructed for close combat as a child. He would not be taken down by some crazy guy who had started this.

Colin removed the turkey from his head, and defenstrated (a word that pwns) it out of the nearest window. He then reached for a basket of blueberries, and threw it at Nim.

Meanwhile, on the ceiling, Mai had taken the liberty of hoisting an extremely large (5 feet wide, 10 feet high) cake to the top of the ceiling. She jumped on the rope, and drew her knife, ready to cut the line when the time was right.

Nim, thorougly covered in blueberries looked up to try and get the hair out of his eyes... But what he saw wasn't the ceiling it was an enormous cake....

"O SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!" he shouts and quickly hides under a thick table

(Out fot the night guys... Cya"

President Handstand and Sec. of The State Alexander Romanov armed themselves with 4ft french bread and attack Colin with them.

Noticing Colin being outnumbered by Handstand and Romonov, Vostok holds his salmon high and swings it at Romonov

Colin ducked and rolled out of the path of the French bread, while pouring chocolate pudding all over the floor behind him. He then popped back up and started attacking with sausages.

Mai was still at the top, standing on her giant cake, smiling--soon, someone would be victim of her biggest plan yet.

Romanov repiled by hitting Vostok with a apple.

Cowlquape swung round suddenly, slapping the shogun across the face with the trout, knocking him out. He picked up some ice from a nearby bucket and tipped it down Romanov's back, then started parrying his attacks whilst launching some of his own offences, pushing him slowly back, until he was right beneath the cake*

"Ouch!" Said Vostok, as he furiously swung his salmon and chucked some sushi he found nearby at Romanov. Vostok tipped his head back to wipe the goop off his face that accumulated there throughout the fight, when he opened his eyes, he saw that the ceiling had been almost completly covered by an enormous cake, which was attached to a rope. Mai was at the other end of the rope. "OH CRAP" exclaimed Vostok as he through his salmon at Mai, then in a panic, he grabbed a bowl full of cooked brussel sprouts and started to chuck them furiously at Mai

Mai laughed evilly. Her time had come. With a quick twist of her wrist, the blade severed the rope and the cake began to fall fast. It eventually impacted with the ground, sending icing and cake everywhere, but covering Romanov and Mai in the process. Colin immediately rushed over to Mai and began licking her, before he was hit with a pineapple. He then picked up a nearby summer sausage, and started using it as a club.

Romanov armed himself with some pickles throwing them at Mai.

Jon woke from his semi-unconciousness, and noticed Cowlquape off guard. He picked up an egg which he had somehow missed before and threw it at him, however, missed, hitting someone else behind him. He picked up a slice of watermelon on his plate, and frisbeed it perfectly at Cowlquape, then dived behind one of the tables, embrassingly hitting somebody's wifes legs.

The Shogun woke up drowesly(sp?).

"What the hell was that, why does my face hurt..."

He looked to the fighting Sancatphrax leader, and saw the cake. He looked up for a moment.

""Danke"

He said that quitely and quickly. He dragged himself, bicking up his tuna again. He finally got up and run full speed for the condition he was in. Using stealth, he whacked the Sanctaphraxian behind the head. That would knock him out. And under the cake.

Mai retaliated with a full barrage of olives, followed by Colin supporting with wedges of cheddar cheese.

He fell back, his fall cushioned by a few things, one being a giant cake. The other was his face, which was currently embedded in a womans chest. Mai's unless he was mistaken. As he fell backwards, his legs swung upwards, kicking the Shogun in the crotch and sending him flying into the cake as well.

He fell back, his fall cushioned by a few things, one being a giant cake. The other was his face, which was currently embedded in a womans chest. Mai's unless he was mistaken. As he fell backwards, his legs swung upwards, kicking the Shogun in the crotch and sending him flying into the cake as well.

Colin, who tended to spot these things from a mile away, dashed over to Mai and threw Cowlquape into the remains of the cake. He embraced Mai for a few moments, then hit her in the face with a pie. The two of them then started wrestling/fighting with each other in what was left of the cake, having too much fun to care.

"SCHIESSE! You cheap little bastard."

At least he was in cake. He tasted a bit with his finger. Good cake.

"Meh."

The Shogun would rest for a while. Let some stuff get better first. He needed some rest. He hadn't expected to get into that much pain. Oh well, cake. He picked up a piece. Ammo! He could eat and throw. He picked up a piece, and threw it at the dogpile that he had helped cause.

"Let them eat cake!"

"What is with people harming my balls tonight!"

The Shogun screamed this as Cowlquape landed on him.

"Get off!"

The Shogun shoved Cowlquape off of him.

A loud snore from the area of the cake announced that Cowlquape Pentephraxis, Prime Minister of Sanctaphrax, was asleep.


OOC: I'm out for the night guys, have fun all;)

((OOC: Likewise. Night.))

OOC: Ditto

OOC: Yeah, good night.

OOC: Damn, I get back and you guys are heading in for the night! I had some funny plans too! Oh well, I'll get started on them, expect a suprise!

IC:

President Garner had retreated from the food battle and found him self in the wine room...

"Hmm..." he said to no one in paticular.

He then pulled out his cell phone and called 4 of his guards in.

After a few drinks for the president and each of his guards they went to the kitchen to find more armor, after a few minutes they were all in battle dress, chest armor, back armor, a helmet(pot) and a shield, he also armed them with 3 foot lond french bread. and tucked smaller 1 foot long french bread in their belts.

They looked into the dining area and found everyone asleep, they decided to wait until everyone was awake.

When everyone awoke, this would no longer be a battle it would be a slaughter!

OOC: Just wait until you get back!!!! :D

*A 8-foot-tall figure in white power armor, Commander Falx Carius, (WH40k Space Marines) Exited the kitchen. His armored clanked against the floor as he smashed the first guard with a loaf of french bread, pouring cold soup on another.

He unsheathed a loaf of bread and sent the other two sprawling, striding to the leader.

"In the name of The Celestial Swords!"

He smashed the man's torso with the bread, sending him sideways.

By about 2 feet...

He then picked up a bunch of wasabi and shoved it in his mouth, following this with a splatter of marinara sauce for good measure.

He tossed a loaf of french bread to his opponent and picked up a loaf and a pizza.*

Earnest Equanant had heard good things about thsi resturaunt. To his great fortune they were also having a food fight and had a large assembly of many national leaders there, but this he did not know. Not wishing to be alone, he invited his insane son-in-law, the other Former Emperor of Green Sun, Ishmael Equanant-Kort.
"I daresay, I have had a craving for Lasagna ever since that cat denied me that entire pan a few months ago."
"Aye, yes. He was a goodladdie, always drank his milk right from the uterus of the Great Arm of Poo."
"Indeed."
"HEY KIDS! WHY DON'T WE SING A SONG?" Ishmael shouted as soon as he entered the room. Right after he asked his question, he recieved a face full of cherry whipped cream pie.
"I love it when they throw the puppies at the ringleader, but zombies don't grow themselves, you know!"
Earnest entered the room and noticed the giant mess.
"You call yourselves food combatants? Why, I've started food fights twi-"
But at this point a large wedge of cheese had forcefully entered his mouth. Neither of them wished for the cheese to be in Earnest's mouth, but the cheese had no choice in the matter as he was an immobile object so it apologized to our dear Earnest and was assisted by its temporary host to become dislodged from the former emperor's mouth.

*A loaf of bread smashed into the Greensun Emporer's head as a follow up sang through the air toward his insane son-in-law.*

Earnest and Ishamel dodge the missiles and Ishmael manages to pick up a cat. Earnest sees the feline and compensates it from him and lets the little shit go on its way. In return for the cat, Earnest hands Ishmael a handful of caviar to throw back, which Ishmael does with extreme accuracy.

*Carius picks the caviar from the air bad-kung fu-movie-style and eats them.

He swings the loaf of bread, his pizza shield raised high, and smashes the Emporer in the chest, showering bread crumbs everywhere.*

After being pegged by a few items, Der Fuhrer slipped from the room to the nearest bathroom to clean up her face. She was about to leave when the desire to seek absolute revenge against the person who had ruined her brand new full body stealth suit riddled her.

Seeking this oppurtune moment, she slid back into the room without being seen by the chaotic hell that had persued in her absense.....flying cookies, desserts, random dinner items...quite a mess. For a brief, albeit, very brief moment moment she empthatized with the cleaning staff who would be left to clean up this unruley mess, for many a time her and a few able bodied members were the only ones left to clean a battlefield of the bodies and disembled parts and intestines that lay strewn about the place.

It was not long before she spotted her desired target....the memory flashing quickly. Looking up to see the cheese quiche inches from her face, the mischevious glint in the eyes of her attacker. Must get revenge.....

Master of stealth that she was from the intense assassinations, the precise operations, the furious breath taking battles, she slid unseen to the nearest entree......chocolate 'moose'....the war was on.

She grabbed the entire bowl silently, and without wasting a moment, she scanned the area, everyone engaged in attacking someone else. She seized the moment and darted quickly across the room, leaping in the air as she approached her target, planting the bowl in her attacker's face. She misjudged her landing though and slid on the chair, falling forward, taking Cowlquape with her onto the ground.

Cowlquape spun round in shock as he heard someone behind him. As he turned, the bowl of chocolate mousse hit him full on in the face, as did Fuhrer Dyszel shortly afterwards. He cursed as he fell to the floor, still protected by the cake, but now with an angry Fuhrer on top of him, also now covered in cake, with some chocolate mousse thrown in as well. He decided to see how much he could annoy this woman, and ran a finger through the cake on her suit, licking it off his finger.
"Mm, this *is* good cake, the Shogun was right, thank you Fuhrer, much appreciated"
He lifted a globule of chocolate mousse from his face and applied it with possibly more than was completely necessary force to her face, then giggled and sprinted away from the fuhrer, who he assumed would not appreciate the taste of the chocolate mousse. He licked his lips clean of the chocolate, he certainly appreciated it, even if she didn't.

--==| Meanwhile, at the Fruit Bar |==--

So far, President John Blake had managed to avoid being hit with any pieces of food, and was enjoying what had simply become a buffet.

.oO(Mmm... and I think now, I'll have some of that papaya...)

Of course, a mis-thrown lasagna plays hell on your plans, especially when not only does it hit the papaya bowl you're aiming for, but richochets off and - with some papaya - drenches you.

"...." Tears of rage streamed from John Blake's face, "Who... could ruin such a delicious pasta..." he mourned. The Lasagna had been extremely good...

In revenge, he took the bowl of cottage cheese, and wielding the serving spoon, flung the cottage cheese in a wide arc towards whence the lasagna came...

Meanwhile, not far away:

Colin and Mai finally woke up, after sleeping a few hours in a bed of cake remains. After kissing and hugging for a few minutes, the two went back to throwing food.

Colin started off with a barrage ravioli at Cowlquape, namely since he was still pissed about what had happened the night before, while Mai climbed up to the ceiling with several boxes of cereal and started pouring it on unsuspecting victims.

And all this time, Emperor Constantinius had just been trying to enjoy a meal of steak and mashed potatoes. But after being splashed with a poorly aimed glass of cream soda, and being struck across the bridge of the nose with a flying chicken thigh (who says chickens can't fly?), he had utterly had it. He quickly dispatched a passing waiter with a kick to the groin, and found a jackpot: three buttery ears of corn, chocolate pudding, a bowl of meat sauce, a plate of lasagna, several serving spoons to fling it with, and the tray itself, which made a very effective shield. He immediately grabbed the pudding bowl and flung it into the air like a mortar. Like a mortar, it plunged onto its target, Der Fuhrer. He then immediately grabbed the bowl of meat sauce and poured it down the back of Colin's pants. Grabbing up his steak, he whacked and slapped the charging Der Fuhrer across the face several times with it. Finally, he simply piled up all his remaining food onto his tray and slammed it into the back of Cowlquape, then made a run for it with the tray.

Jason and his band of armored guards peeked out of the door, they were searching for a target....

They found two, Colin and Mai.

After readjusting their battle armor, they pick up their 3 foot long loafs of frenach bread.

"On the count of 3...1...2...3! Charge!!!!!"

Jason and his guards roared out of the kitchen running and swinging their french bread at Colin and Mai.

What Jason and his guards had failed to notice was the chain that had been made between two tables. Cowlquape had been sitting patiently in a corner, chewing gum then impaling it on a long piece of string. He now had a long chain of chewed gum right between two tables, that Jason and his entourage ran into.

OOC: National leaders only please.

OOC: Ah, well someone else had their leader and a few guards and senators, so I assumed it was ok... darn

Having been sent late, as usual, by the Emperor, Hegg Felm, head of the "Berserker" research of Sonaj and a high diplomat, arrived at the restaurant.

Seeing the turmoil, he figuered it was a terroristattack. He went into berserk-mode, and started throwing salsa everywhere, while singing "Video killed the radio star", a common sideffect of entering Berserk-mode.

EDIT:OOC:Tag. This is hilarious!

Colin picked up a bag of sugar and threw it squarely at Emperor Constantinius, combining the bag of sugar attack with throwing a jar of molasses as well.

However, the danger wasn't over for him or Mai yet- the men with French bread were still coming at them. The two of them hit the floor and tripped their attackers, being sure to spill a screen of ketchup behind them.

The two then ran from the scene, and started attacking people with low-quality sticks of butter.

Cowlquape meanwhile crept up behind Mai and tipped a bag of flour over her, following up with breaking some eggs over it, then mixing it around on her head to add insult to injury. He found a nearby ovenpan and ran and jumped onto it, sliding down the hall, he got near to his intended target, which was the kitchen, when the pan stopped, having hit the Shogun, who was lying on the floor. Cowlquape went flying into the wall, and crumpled into a heap on the floor, groaning loudly.

Felm saw two people running and attacking people with what seemed to be...sticks of butter.
"That must be them!", he thought. He looked around, and found a rather big, sharp knife.
"Hehehe", he thought, then cut an orange into small pieces, and started to throw them at the man and woman while running toward them, still singing.

Cowlquape was awake and wandering around, when he saw President Nim lying beneath a table, sleeping peacefully. He grabbed a tomato and bit into it, sending the juice flying all over the presidents face.

Mai's face was now even redder than it was before--she would get that man if it was the last thing she did on this world. Quickly, she assembled her weapon- a lightweight mortar that would fire strawberries. She set this up, and began shooting away- whoever got hit by them would feel PAIN.

Colin, meanwhile, had his own method of revenge. One of his guards handed to him a supersoaker, and Colin filled it with cheese fondue. After a few pumps, he was on his way to squirting all and any persons he saw with the yellow cheesy liquid...

The Shogun woke with a start after getting hit with the pan.

"Why me, Gojira Tokugawa could be having a grand time here... Oh well, back to the fight."

He saw Cowlquape just wandering around. He picked up two pieces of mackeral that was near by, and charged again, remembering what had happened before. He swung one fish at the leader's head, the other at his legs.

President Nim woke up. Whist snoring he had accidentaly breathed in a good portion of the tomato and was not happy. He woke up with a start, banging his head on the table as he did so. He swore loudly and crawled out from under the table.

Annoyed, He picked up a wet fish and started slapping everyone in range with it

Cowlquape squeaked as the strawberries flew and fled into the kitchen. Once there his eye settled on a large pot of grease. Taking a box of bacon strips out of the fridge, he dipped about twenty of them in the grease. He spun one of them, which hit Mai in the face, leaving grease dripping over her hair and face, and threw assorted others at Nim and the Shogun. Five or so he slid onto the floor in random places in the hope that someone would trip over them.

Walking in half way through the conference, Premier Mikhalkov and his translator apologised just as soon as a mint imperial hit his cheek.

Ragh

the small white mint ignighted the premiers short temper and he sent his briefcase down smashing the table. grabbing his bovril sandwiches and hurling the potentially biohazardous meal towards the closest leader he could see

The Shogun caught some pieces of bacon in his teeth.

"Thank you very much for the meal. Everyone get over here and attack Cowlquape!"

The Shogun still continued his charge, just missing a piece of bacon.

Grabbing two more slices of bacon for the way, he snuck up behind the Shogun and placed them just behind his feet, so that when he stepped back he'd hit them, then walked around him casually and poked him.

Mai shook off the bacon, and continued with her strawberry attack until the mortar got too jammed (literally) to fire. Instead, she found a wheel of edam hard cheese, and started throwing it around like a frisbee.

Colin, hearing the Shogun, immediately turned his supersoaker on Cowlquape and fired a massive volley of fondue bursts.

Cowlquape put up an ovenpan to shield himself from the onslaught, but the force drove it from his hand and pushed him against the wall, where he was hit by wave after wave of cheese fondeau. He rolled out of the way, and paused to wipe the excess cheese from his face. Seeing a piece of bovril sandwich about to hit Mai, he dived for her, knocking her out of the way. Not through any feeling of goodwill, rather just that he preffered that it hit Colin behind her. Unfortunately he landed in an awkward position, his head buried into her chest again.

President Nim decided to follow the shoguns advice and... taking a bowl of ravioli he ran to Cowlquape and threw the ravioli over him... The bacon hat hit him in the eye and it had hurt.

The Shogun looked over at Cowlquape.

"What the hell is that guy's problem with her."

He thought this as he charged at Cowlquape, not able to get a single swing in yet.

Vostok had been hiding in the kitchen since getting spattered by cake-zilla. He spotted everything he need: A salad shooter. Vostok grabbed the food preparation device and loaded with raw veggies then started firing into the crowd.

*grabbing a nearby basket of tomato's and some spaghetti that had been cooked for so long it had turned rigid, he tied Mai up with the spaghetti and held a tomato to her hair*
Everyone stop aiming at me or Mai's hair gets it.

As Tomzilla was heading over towards Cowlquape, who once again had done something akward. Then he saw salad tongs. He dropped one fish, and picked that up. A good instrument for revenge on Cowlquape.

Vostok casually walked up to Cowlquape, aimed the salad shooter at his face, and fired a spectacular burst of sliced veggies at him

Colin, again demonstrating his completely amazing ability to to spot people bothering his wife from an ungodly distance away, ran over to his wife, and threw Cowlquape into another part of the room, and hugged his wife. He then went back to spraying people with cheese fondue, alternative with throwing grapes as little greandes.

Vostok casually walked up to Cowlquape, aimed the salad shooter at his face, and fired a spectacular burst of sliced veggies at him
Cowlquape moved Mai's head towards the salad shooter, and she got pelted with salad, then he threw the tomato at Vostok and picked up another one, which he emptied the contents of over Mai's hair.

Colin, again demonstrating his completely amazing ability to to spot people bothering his wife from an ungodly distance away, ran over to his wife, and threw Cowlquape into another part of the room, and hugged his wife. He then went back to spraying people with cheese fondue, alternative with throwing grapes as little greandes.

"Need any help with Cowlquape. I am going after him! I would advise the same. Just keep her away from him. He must have mental issues."

The Shogun ran off again after Cowlquape. With salad tongs for fighting fire with fire after last night.

Cowlquape moved Mai's head towards the salad shooter, and she got pelted with salad, then he threw the tomato at Vostok and picked up another one, which he emptied the contents of over Mai's hair.

Colin picked up a ham and threw it at Cowlquape's head, to get him to stop. He then proceeded to blind him with cheese fondue, untying Mai and allowing Mai to escape and plan her next move, which involved a large mixture of cheese and tomatoes.

Cowlquape landed in the corner and mysteriously disappeared from view, a slight haze which faded after a moment all that was left.

OOC: Gone for now, will be back.

The Shogun just stared and then shrugged. Then went after the cheese flinging Colin. Using the salad tongs as a pincer and the mackeral as a sword, he leapt once again into combat.

Der Fuhrer felt the weight of a rather large steak strike her in the face a few times. Looking at her new target, she spotted Emperor Constantinius of Kreynoria nearby.

Furious as she was, and yes, indeed furious after being slapped in the face with a steak, she seized a hotdog, by far the deadliest and most feared of all the food items in the room and ran toward Constantinius at full speed.

She would seek her revenge against Cowlquape later.....Constantinius would pay now.

She halted in front of him and using the hotdog as if it were a rapier, she thrust it forward into the eye of the Emperor. Ice cold as her voice was, with a welcoming and humorous glint in her eyes to convey the lightness of the mood she was in, she spoke, "And now my dear.....you shall fear the wrath of The Dictatorship......its iron fist shall fall upon you."

Standing back, hotdog still in hand, she poised herself ready for a one on one engagement.

Sergyn, despite being covered in assorted foodstuffs, was having the time of his life. Although this originally formal dinner would probably play havoc with international relations, it would be worth it simply to splatter some national leaders. Having lost his frankfurter in an earlier melee, he was scouting the table for a new weapon.

And there it was. Jellied eels. Perfect for dealing with dictators and democrats alike. Ducking under the table again, he half crouched, half ran, staying out of sight. Emerging on the other side, he began to seek out his next target.

Mai would pay. He didn't know what exactly she had done to deserve this, but it was obviously something. Creeping up behind her, he tugged her collar backwards and emptied the entire bowl down her neck. Then, laughing evilly, he dived for cover.

Having been caught unawares by the bacon now in his ear, Felk finally came back to his senses, and found something devilishly perfect: duckliver paté. He grabbed a couple, then ran up to Der Fuhrer. He first threw one at his face and then tried to dodge around and stuff the others down Der Fuhrer´s neck.

*Carius picks the caviar from the air bad-kung fu-movie-style and eats them.

He swings the loaf of bread, his pizza shield raised high, and smashes the Emporer in the chest, showering bread crumbs everywhere.*
((Do note that they were both emperors at one time. Actually, Earnest was a president and Ishmael was an emperor, but tehy share the title as former emperor.))
Earnest Equanant picked up a 2-long link of sausage and swung it around prficiently as if they were nunchucks(SP). Before Earnest could strike, Ishmael was shoving a handful of pudding into Carius's mouth from behind.
"Oh, if only Uziel were alive to see this. He's got a modified submachine gun that shoots peanuts. Or had one."

Constantinius yelped as the jar of molasses burst at his feet, thoroughly dousing him with the thick, black liquid. If that wasn't enough, Colin had also thrown sugar at him. He now resembled a snowman. Hot for revenge, he picked up a can of Squirt! soda and shook it hard. He then snuck behind Cowlquape and drenched him with the lemon-lime soda. He coordinated this with a bag of flour, thus soaking and powdering Cowlquape. He quickly retreated to the storage room before he got hit with more molasses, and managed to improvise a crude ballista. He then took a bottle of of mustard and loaded it onto his artillery piece, and fired at the Fuhrer. He missed, but the mustard botttle promptly exploded at her feet, covering her in mustard, and filling her mouth and nose with the strong condiment. But several flying pork roasts forced him to retreat further. Grabbing a pair of shakers, one of salt, and one of pepper, he targeted Mai. A flurry of salt and pepper blew towards her. She immediately began sneezing hard, and the salt had made its way into a small cut on her arm. Screaming, she grabbed two frying pans, which flew toward Consantinius' head at high velocity. He ducked the first one, but the second smashed him squarely on his back. Sprawling, he immediately got to his feet, and made his way to the storage room again. For some reason, a container of highly pressurized helium was there. He rolled it to the middle of the room. Standing a good distance back, he drew a pistol he had been carrying. It had only one bullet. Consantinius' aim was true, and the container was pierced. Ultra-pressurized helium shot out of the whole, and spun the container around. Soon, everyone's voice but Consantinius' and a few lucky other ones was extremely squeaky and high-pitched.