NationStates Jolt Archive

Looking for a friend out there in an uncertain world? Interesting in practicing diplomacy with a foreign country? Want to get on our good side so you can get really good trade deals for our donuts? We thought so. :D

Those interested in an embassy exchange program should specify how much staff will be operating within the embassy and what vehicles they are bringing. No weapons are allowed within the country's borders.

Quick! Open relations with us now! The first fifty allies will get a free toaster!

Information about our nation can be found here:

The Fatus Maximus World Factbook (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=430187)

The Republic of Deep Core Nations is extremely interested in any alliances that yield a free toaster. We, therefore, would be honored to create an embassy in your land, should you grant us permission to.

-A humble envoy of the Republic

Fatus Maximus is of course willing to set up an embassy exchange program and alliance with the Deep Core Nations. Please specify how many staff will occupy the embassy and any vehicles you're bringing. No weapons are allowed. :D

Encrypted message
From; Warta Endorean Foreign Ministery
To; Fatus Maximus' Foreign Ministery

Warta Endor is interested in a Embassy change. The total staff will be 60, including 15 guards armed with Desert Eagle .50's and XM-8 rifles. We will also bring 3 armoured cars and 5 normal cars for transportation. You may open an embassy in our capital as well.

Dirk Dunross

No weapons are allowed within the country's borders.

I assure you, however, that your delegates will be completely safe while in Fatus Maximus. Our civilian police force, whose officers are armed, has detachments for ambassadorial protection, and they are quite good at it. I hope this won't deter you to open relations with us.

bump

The Armed Republic of Yuro wishes to extend it's hand in diplomatic relations with the Fatus Maximus Government by establishing an embassy in it's nation. It will be staffed by 100 Yuronian citizens and fifty unarmed guards inside the embassy and around the outer areas with small jeeps. There also will be a main entrance gate manned by three guards.

To Fatus Maximus

We understand. If you can guarantee us the safety of our Embassy Employees we accept. We hope you don't mind the ceremonial weapons of the Military Attaché's.

Ceremonial weapons are acceptable, provided they are not used. :D

Yuro, you're approved.

Ok, so we've got Deep Core Nations down for an alliance and an embassy exchange program and Warta Endor and Yuro down for just embassy exchange programs.

Hurry up and sign up for an alliance or embassy exchange program today! Only 47 toasters left!

Hoth Manufacturing
From the desk of Darryl Galvax, CEO
Apex, the Hoth system


Greetings, pleasantly plump inhabitants of Fatus Maximus.

After reviewing your offer of an embassy exchange, we are very interested in becoming allies and exchanging embassies. I would also like to note that since Hoth Manufacturing, the corporation that runs the Hoth system, is, in fact, a publicly traded company, our embassies double as shipping centers and shops, meaning, because of reduced shipping costs when flying products directly to a Hoth building, all future purchases made by Fatus Maximus of Hoth products will recieve a 5% shipping discount. We to establish diplomatic relations soon and remain in good standing with your generously chubby population.

-Darryl Galvax, CEO

To: Fatus Maximus
From: President Harling

We are interested in an alliance with you. We are also interested in an embassy exchange.

PS: I really want that toaster.

Hoth System, you're approved. You're toaster is being sent by shuttle and should arrive at your planet in fifteen thousand years. I'm intrigued by fleeting mentions of trade agreements... tell me more- both about trade agreements with your nation and about the size of your embassy, it's number of occupants, etc.

Spartanox, you are also approved for both an alliance and embassy exchanges. Your toaster is being held ransom for more information about what you want in your embassy, size, location, staff- you get the picture.

The nation of HailandKill is interested in setting up an embassy exchange, alliance, trade agreement and anything else your nation can offer. We see this as a good opertunity for both our nations. We wait for a response.
[Signed]President Revello
[Signed]Secretary of State Allen Johnson

Despite being an advanced (FT) country, the Republic is currently undergoing some inner (financial) turmoil, therefore we will only be sending one ambassador, four of his aids, and eight guards (sans vehicles) for the time being. Would it be possible for them to be given a few connected suites in one of your top hotels to work from?

Once our internal issues are-finished, we shall send a normal compliment of staff.

Thank you for your time.

-Republican Terranian Relations Department
-Fatus Maximus Bureau

Hailandkill, we've accepted you for both an embassy exchange and an alliance. Please specify any details you have for your embassy. (Trade agreements will be another thread in a week or two. ;) )

Deep Core Nations, that's fine. Your delegates have been comped in the Fatopia Heights Resort of our downtown capital. Room service and all other hotel services (swimming pool usage, workout room, restaurant passes, etc.) are free for our honored guests. (Then again, in Fatus Maximus, a poor person wandering the streets can get all these things for free, so it's not really a big thing, but for you guys it's official. :D )

Aust would be honoured to swap embassys with your great nation and open up diplomatic talks with the intention of forming a allince.

We have a space at 96 Church Street, inside the balice grounds avalible if you should want it.

Emproer William

Sezyou would like to open communications to discuss a possible alliance with your nation. YOur diplomats would of course be exempt from our mandatory weekly exercise regime and another thought to consider would be we share the same currency and to partake of our national delicacy which is also the national animal..... the llama.

Aust, we have approved an embassy exchange with you. Our staff consists of one ambassador, three or four assistants, and a 1987 Oldsmobile. The only special requests we have are that you provide a minibar for their office. Glad we can consider you an ally. :D

Sezyou: Hmm... interesting... is your doughnut an actual ring of batter cooked to perfection and lightly glazed like our donut or is it merely the name of a paper denomination? We have approved an embassy exchange between our nations. Our staff consists of one ambassador, three or four assistants, and a 1987 Oldsmobile. As you may have noticed, this is the same staff we've sent to Aust. This is because Fatus Maximus has a severely underfunded diplomatic branch and therefore we have one ambassador and a few of his assistants serving both the UN and every nation on the NSEarth. :D (Just to clarify, are you petitioning for the embassy exchange and the alliance, or just the exchange?)

Thank you, we shall build our own embassy, do you wish for us to design your or for you to design it. We presume you shall send soildiers to guard it.

Thank you, we shall build our own embassy, do you wish for us to design your or for you to design it. We presume you shall send soildiers to guard it.

Um... yes... about that... you may want to read the uniform description in our world factbook before approving our soldier's access to your country... just a heads up there. :D

We find it honourable to respect other nations customs and uniforms, therefore we have no problem with yours.

Excellent. :D You can go ahead and design ours, just remember the bit about the mini-bar. :D

bump

OOC: OK, now that I'm reasonably moved in and have found this thread again, I'll make my request.

IC:

The Democratic Republic of Halberdgardia is pleased to request an embassy exchange with the Democratic Republic of Fatus Maximus. We are most pleased with the excellent amount of freedoms your citizens enjoy, and we believe that our nations might see eye-to-eye on a number of various issues. If you accept our request, our embassy staff will consist of the following:

Ambassador Julian Logue
35 aides/embassy staff
25 Marines, armed with M-8 and M-29 rifles
5 UH-60 Blackhawk helicopters
20 armored diplomatic SUVs

If you wish, you may also establish an embassy in the Diplomatic Quarter of our capitol city, Washington, D.C. We have plenty of space left, and we can easily arrange a building for your ambassador and staff to reside in.

Si, future diplomatic partner. :D

Hump.

I find that draws more attention than the standard "bump." :eek:

To: Ruling Council, Fatimus Maximus
From: State Department, Grand Republic of Skinny87
RE: Embassy Exchange

Greetings,

The State Department of the Grand Republic cordially invites your government to exchange Embassies with the Grand Republic in the hopes of strengthening the bonds between our two countries. An Embassy in Dowland City has been allocated for your countrymen, and can be occupied immediately. Our own needs are simple for an Embassy in your gracious country; one armoured Humvee Ground Vehicle, one unarmed helicopter, and twelve Guardsmen with XM-8 Assault Rifles, if that is allowable.

We hope that such an exchange can be appropriated with your country, and await your response.

- State Minister Alfresco

No weapons are allowed within the country's borders.

Halberdgardia- Armored vehicles are allowed, but the guns are a no-no. The helicopters are acceptable permitted they have no armaments on them. Your toaster will be delivered upon your occupying the embassy in our capital city of Fatopia. On the subject of our embassy, we accept the exchange, though our foreign minister firmly believes "Washington D.C." is a thoroughly ridiculous name. No nation on Earth would be stupid enough to name their capital that, he says. He expressed a desire to know if "D.C." stood for "Dumb City." Seeing as he was intoxicated at the time, we hope you will not take offense at his comments.

Skinny87- Unfortunately, assualt weapons, and in fact all weapons that serve anything other than a ceremonial function, are forbidden from entering the country's borders. Your armored vehicle is acceptable, however, as long as it meets our guidelines for greenhouse gas emissions. Your toaster will also be dielivered upon your occupying the embassy in our capital. Our foreign minister approves of the name of your capital. He says at least you didn't try to slip any initials into it. He also wanted to know if all of your minister's names sounded like dishes at a French restaurant. Seeing as he was not only intoxicated but near unconciousness, we hope you will not take offense at his comments.

bump

The Republic of Vietnamexico would like to trade embassies with the nation of Fatus Maximus

Sincerly,

King Horus

I am deeply interested in this toaster, but does it hold two pieces of bread or four? I shall accept no less than four!

With love
King Voxis of Voxio.

Vietnamexico, your embassy exchange is approved. Please post details about your embassy.

Voxio, your toaster is a true piece of Fatus Maxian ingenuity. There are four slots which are large enough for bagels and english muffins as well. It automatically applies butter to the toast once it finishes cooking, and the "French" button infuses it with egg batter and powdered sugar. :D

Vietnamexico, your embassy exchange is approved. Please post details about your embassy.

Voxio, your toaster is a true piece of Fatus Maxian ingenuity. There are four slots which are large enough for bagels and english muffins as well. It automatically applies butter to the toast once it finishes cooking, and the "French" button infuses it with egg batter and powdered sugar. :D

brilliant

Vietnamexico, your embassy exchange is approved. Please post details about your embassy.

Voxio, your toaster is a true piece of Fatus Maxian ingenuity. There are four slots which are large enough for bagels and english muffins as well. It automatically applies butter to the toast once it finishes cooking, and the "French" button infuses it with egg batter and powdered sugar. :D
King Voxis is sorry that he could not speak to you directly, but he had to go stock up on bread and bread-like objects. However, he asked me to inform you that The Kingdom of Voxio would like to trade embassies with Fatus Maximus. He also told me to thank you for the toaster.

Sincerly,
Prince Regum Voxis

what would you like to know about it

Oh, things like how many employees, any vehicles you're bringing, if you have any special requests... Remember though, while guards are allowed, no weapons may be brought into the country, aside from those that are purely ceremonial. We would also encourage both of you (Voxio and Vietnamexico) to enter into alliances with our nation, rather than just an embassy exchange.

Peopleita would wish to create embassys in Fatopia and the twin cities of Saturated and Unsaturated. In return the Commandante invites Fatus Maximus to create embassys in 3 Peoplita states of their choice. Also the Commadante is preparing a treaty which would involve trading and a promise to ally if either nation is declared war on. However if the embassy aplication is disapproved then the treaty will be offered to a differnt country.

World Factbook (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=9315864#post9315864)

Fatus Maximus approves the embassy exchange and alliance. I'm hoping to cover trade agreements in a seperate thread later. We only have need of one embassy, which we we request be in your capital city of Guevara. Our staff consists of one ambassador, three or four assistants, and a 1987 Oldsmobile.Our ambassador requests that you provide a minibar for his office, and that the building be located within walking distance of an International House of Pancakes. :D

The Embasy will have 500 employees and 2 gaurds, they will carry bolt-action mausers, the standard weapon of the Royal Gaurd, a cerimonial outfit, and the only military in Vietnamexico, we will also be bringing a fleet of 20 diplomactic Bentleys, the standard of Vietnamexican diplomats. We would also like to fly the flag of Vietnamexico over the flag of Fatus Maximus as it is our tradition that our flag must be the highs fla in the area

Flag request granted; describe mausers for me please.

they are bolt action rifles, the same as thre ones that were used in WWI by both sides, on the butt of the rifle it has the royal seal of Hornado, and has a small bayonet on the end

That doesn't fit into our category of ceremonial weapons. I don't suppose we could persuade you to switch to bolos?

What if I blunt the bayonet, it is two gaurds, what are they gonna do?

The Commandante can assure you that all your staff will be given green cards and will see what he can do about the pancakes.

Fatus Maximus we require your assitance; Talimos has sent fighter jets to circle Guevara. They claim they will drop bombs on us, which will include your embassy. The time is for action is drawing closer; if te peace talks on Vietmexico are not a success we will be declaring war on Talimos. Let us hope it doesn't come to that.

What if I blunt the bayonet, it is two gaurds, what are they gonna do?

Well, we have a fairly open society in Fatus Maximus, and if down the line sometime your government does something our general populace disapproves of, protests outside your embassy could lead to our citizens being injured. Even the most disciplined of soldiers could forget his training when confronted with an angry, loud-mouthed mob of enraged 400 pound citizens.

What if they are filled with blanks

That would be acceptable.

bump

The Confederated States of Aysheaia would be happy to establish an embassy within your country (and we, of course, extend a similar offer to you). An embassy staff of 70 should be sufficient. Our embassy guards typically carry both modern small arms and a ceremonial Aysheaian war club. As a favor to your country, though, we agree to abide by your weapons restrictions. We will be bringing twelve Caron Gazelles* for staff use, as well as one as a gift to your country.

Dominic Apui'inau
Ministry of Diplomatic Relations
Confederated States of Aysheaia

*(OCC) Caron is an Aysheaian manufacturer of high-end cars. The Caron Gazelle is a powerful sedan, in the same vein as an Audi A8, traditionally used as staff cars at Aysheaian embassies.

We have approved the embassy exchange with Aysheaia, and thank you for the generous gift of the Gazelle. Our Ambassador wishes to know if it is a better ride than his current 1987 Oldsmobile. Also, we encourage you to become an ally of our nation as well, rather than just an embassy exchange partner.

That is a good question. We can find the answer at the embassies opening party. I do hope you will attend, as we are justly proud of our mixed drinks.

Juli Maue
Aysheaian ambassador to Fatus Maximus

Our Ambassador says that if he gets drunk enough you may just find yourself most favored nation status. :D

"We want to open an embassy in your country, as well as confirm the alliance that we have discussed in the past. Our embassy will be staffed by 10 members, including an ambassador. The only vehicle will be an unarmed armored car with the Chitzeland seal on it. This should be the start a wonderful alliance."
-Pierre Copeland, Diplomacy Minister

The terms are accepted. I assume you have agreed to our defensive alliance then?

Yes

OOC: *TAG* for later use.
And FM your turn to respond to the thread. ;)

Already posted it, Silver Sky. :D

Well of course I'll join an alliance with your fa-krhmphm, fantastic nation!
Your ambassador is extremely welcome to Tzimkent, and our fella is also on his way to ya. And thanks for the praise, you have no clue 'bout how greatly that feeds my already-huge ego :p .

You deserve it, man. That was exactly what I was trying to say, but better phrased. I've got you down for an alliance and an embassy exchange. I would recommend reading The Fatus Maximus World Factbook (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=430187) to get a better understanding of our nation. :D As for the embassy exchange, the only requirements we have are one Ambassador, three or four assistants, two inept unarmed guards, and a 1987 Oldsmobile. Our Ambassador requests that his office have a mini-bar and that the embassy be located within walking distance of an International House of Pancakes. :D

You deserve it, man. That was exactly what I was trying to say, but better phrased. I've got you down for an alliance and an embassy exchange. I would recommend reading The Fatus Maximus World Factbook (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=430187) to get a better understanding of our nation. :D As for the embassy exchange, the only requirements we have are one Ambassador, three or four assistants, two inept unarmed guards, and a 1987 Oldsmobile. Our Ambassador requests that his office have a mini-bar and that the embassy be located within walking distance of an International House of Pancakes. :D

Agreed, while lmao :D

:steeples fingers:

Exceelllent.

We are happy to ask for an embassy exchange, we have a place within the capitol reserved for your embassy already.

Going to your embassy would be:
1 High Council Ambassador
2 Lesser Council Ambassadors
4 High Ceremonial Guards
8 Leser Ceremonial Guards.

All shall travel in helicopters- unarmed ones.
The guards carry ceremonial swords- not buit for combat use at all.

I would also look forward to the free toaster and like to present you with a finely crafted traditional Valdamacian Waffle Iron.

Many thanks,
Harlequin Maimus.

We want to open an embassy in your country, as we discussed in the past, we only wish to send1 diplomat and 5 guards. Also is it possible to get a Armored 1963 Ford Mustang and have a Starbucks...

-Joe Strummer

To: Fatus Maximus

From:
The Federation of the Greater Lands
Office of External Affairs
Chief Diplomatic Officer
Mr. Jones Carter

It is always good to find friends, and it is always better to keep them. Therefor, on behalf of our President, Mr. Hadrian, we would like to request a embassy be established, and trade agreements between our two great nations, thus allowing a greater, sphere of peace and prosperity to surround us.

Personnel:
Mr. Paula Endave'
Senior Diplomatic Officer to Fatus Maximus

Mr. Akida Tekenisha
Diplomatic Officer to Fatus Maximus

30 x Miscellaneous Personal
20 x Staff
15 x Security Guards
05 x Drivers

We trust your nation to be secure, and we will abide by your law of no firearms.

Signed
Chief Diplomatic Officer
Mr. Jones Carter

Valdamacia-

:wipes tear from eye:

It would be an honor- no, a privledge- to accept your waffle iron. Your embassy exchange is approved. We also would encourage you to enter into an alliance with our nation, and to read our The Fatus Maximus World Factbook (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=430187) to learn more about our nation. We look forward to continued relations with your nation.

Palixia- You also are approved for the embassy exchange. Your requests are granted, provided you adhere to our rule on no weapons being brought into the country. As with Valdamacia, we would encourage you to enter into an alliance with our nation, and to read our The Fatus Maximus World Factbook (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=430187) to learn more about our nation. Here's to a long and peaceful relationship between our countries.

Greater Lands- Your embassy exchange is approved. Our requirements are that our embassy house one ambassador, three or four assistants, two inept unarmed guards, and a 1987 Oldsmobile. Our Ambassador requests that his office have a mini-bar and that the embassy be located within walking distance of an International House of Pancakes. As with Palixia and Valdamacia, we recommend reading The Fatus Maximus World Factbook (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=430187) and entering into an alliance with us. The trade agreement is postponed until further notice. (OOC: I'm trying to get a trade conference thread between all my allies going in a week or two. :D )

To: Fatus Maximus

From:
The Federation of the Greater Lands
Office of External Affairs
Chief Diplomatic Officer
Mr. Jones Carter

It has been decided that an alliance would deem well between our great nations. And your humble request shall be granted, as with the IHOP. One will be built into your embassy to assure that not to many need be taken.

Signed
Chief Diplomatic Officer
Mr. Jones Carter

Confirmed. You will all be added to the allies/embassy exchange list next time I update the factbook, probably sometime this week.

Fatus Maximus,

Our nation would be honoured to have you as an ally and to have continued relations with your nation.

Our embassy for you shall contain a 'mini-man' bar. This is basically a mini bar with a mini barman too. As for the IHOP... there is one next door- we shall have a door made through the wall for ultra-easy access.

Regards,

Harlequin Maimus

&

Harlequin Maximus

Wonderful. As a token of appreciation, we present you with this platter of donuts, freshly baked in the ancient furnaces of our National Mint.

Thankyou Fatus Maximus, we humbly accept your donuts.

Harlequin Maximus

Hmm... hurry up and become allies with us, people, there are only 32 free toasters left!

The Emperor is in need of a new toaster, so he ordered his Diplomatic Minister, Mr. White, to send an ambassador to Fatus Maximus quickly. Mr. White responded by sending Mr. Grey to your nation with his staff.

Mr. Grey's staff consists of 10 (unarmed) guards, 15 office personel, and three drivers. Two vehicles will accompany them, a short black car with armoured sides and windows, and a large black van used as a mobile embassy.

The Emperer also invited you to set up an embassy in the Pudite Center of diplomacy and the seat of the Emperor, Capital City 01.

In case we only changed embassies, I'll suggest an alliance. If we already entered in to one, I'll just sit here smiling and looking happy.

:watches Madnestan sitting there smiling and looking happy:

Emporer Pudu- we have approved an embassy exchange with your nation. Our only requirements for the embassy in your country are that we have a building capable of housing one Ambassador, three or four assistants, two inept unarmed guards, and a 1987 Oldsmobile. Our Ambassador requests that his office have a mini-bar and that the embassy be located within walking distance of an International House of Pancakes. We would encourage you to enter into an alliance with our nation as well.

We wish to start a allience with your great nation


Ulkov Vadinos
Foreign affaires Minister

You're darn right we're great. :D

An alliance has been approved. We recommend you read The Fatus Maximus World Factbook (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=430187) to learn more about our country, and encourage you to apply for an embassy exchange as well.