Fatus Maximus
06-07-2005, 03:28
The Fatus Maximus World Factbook
Whether you are fascinated by the mighty Maximus Mountains, are interested in trading with our DONUT Stock Exchange, want to swim in our beautifully tropical Gulf of Gelatin, are interested in browsing the Great Cookbook Library in Fatopia, are spellbound by the ancient donut furnaces of our National Mint, or fascinated by the World’s Largest Tower of Oreo Cookies, Fatus Maximus has something for everybody. You may have noticed an infectious sort of jolliness certain fat people seem to give off. Multiply that by a zillion times and you have a good idea of how our country functions. For truly, we are “The Land of 10,000 Fat Men.”
Anyone interested in becoming an ally of our nation should inquire here:
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=430193
Nations that are allied with Fatus Maximus include:
Deep Core Nations
The Hoth System
Spartanox
Hailandkill
Aust
Peopleita
Chitzeland
Great White Cognac
Madnestan
Valdamacia
The Greater Lands
Morvonia
Blu-Tac
Krioval
We also have embassy exchange programs with:
Deep Core Nations
The Hoth System
Spartanox
Hailandkill
Warta Endor
Yuro
Aust
Vietnamexico
Emmitia
New Savio
Camewot
The Macabees
Safehaven2
Roman Republic
Findan
Voxio
Peopleita
Chitzeland
Great White Cognac
Madnestan
Valdamacia
Palixia
The Greater Lands
Emporer Pudu
Communist Red China
Blu-Tac
Krioval
History:
Once upon a time, in a far off land, there existed a great and powerful nation. Then the people there invented philosophy, and the verb “exist” became needlessly complicated, so they ceased to do it- exist, that is. The next people to occupy this land, some 1500 years later, were not natives. They came from another dimension and settled the land, taming it until they had mastered it, and then they decided to form a nation. They named the nation Fatus Maximus. And, if you, o gentle reader, couldn’t already tell from the name of the place, everyone there was very overweight.
They were very overweight because where they came from, everyone was overweight. Their home dimension was known very simply as The Dimension of the Fat People. It is called that simply because everyone there is. Naturally, it’s a crowded place, with the over-population problem getting so bad that groups are constantly leaving to try their luck in other dimensions.
Well, one such group landed where Fatus Maximus is located and soon set up a thriving country dedicated to the principles they held dear in life- happiness, family, food, and watching reruns on television. The people there lived happy, quiet lives, and everyone more or less got along.
There were no real health concerns in Fatus Maximus, and there still are none to this day, despite the people’s obesity. Natural selection had long ago resigned itself to the fact that no matter how disadvantageous it made being overweight, these people would never consider dieting; and so it dutifully went about the task of weeding out the health concerns associated with obesity, such as heart disease, diabetes, tendencies to not be able to stand up again if they’ve fallen down, etc.
A land of caring and kindhearted individuals, they pushed for social equality from the beginning and every member of society is provided for. Despite the fact that no one needs to work anymore, they do it anyway simply because it’s good for everyone else, and because our currency is edible. The government plays a minimal role in how the nation functions, and things get done simply because they need to, and without all the ordering around other nations sometimes have to resort to.
Fatus Maximus has existed for centuries in quiet isolation; it is only recently that they have opened themselves up to the watchful eye of the outside world. Quickly becoming an economic and military power, they have nonetheless embraced diplomacy with open, if admittedly very flabby, arms. Joining the UN, they have pushed for policy changes for the good of the international community. And, as other nations have remarked, this in addition to the flabbergasting amount of time their delegate spends at the United Nations Stranger’s Bar.
Geography:
A Map of Fatus Maximus (http://photos.yafro.com/pics3/i/20050719/19/e/5/1/e514f1a54bae9a690314cae05ee700c40_full.jpg)
Border Length: 9,560
Coastline Length: 4672
Maritime Claims: The Isle of Maltose (Currently Under Dispute)
Bordering Nations: None
Climate: The majority of upper and middle Fatus Maximus is temperate, with tropical temperatures in the south. The nation’s only desert is in the northwest area of the country, the nation’s largest swamp is located in the southeast, and the southwestern peninsula contains the Pot Roast Rainforest.
Highest Elevation: Mt. Obeseus, 27,815 ft.
Lowest Elevation: Lake Wet, 200 ft. below sea level.
Resources: Fatus Maximus has many natural resources inside its borders. These include:
• Uranium deposits in the Pot Roast Peninsula, which are mined for both Fatus Maximus’ military and the Nuclear Sciences Particle Accelerator Laboratory in New Spiegal.
• Oil fields in the northwest corner of the country, which have been depleted after centuries of use by Fatus Maxians, but oil is no longer a major necessity of our economy following the invention of the hydrogen powered car.
• The nation’s forests are protected by law, but fields of cannabis plants under government supervision provide hemp paper and marijuana for medicinal uses for the country’s citizens.
• Natural gas, the nation’s single largest source being the vapors from the Bulbous Swamp in southeast Fatus Maximus.
Environmental Agreements: None
In addition, one would be remiss if, in a description of Fatus Maximus’ unique geography, one left out the gravity well. The cumulative weight of over 500 million Fatus Maxians contributes to a gravity well that surrounds the nation, effectively isolating it from the outside world. The gravity well is so powerful that from the outside, it is as if the nation doesn’t even exist. It is completely invisible- try to walk through it and you’ll find yourself walking around it without even noticing. The nature of the well makes it so that it is easy to leave but nearly impossible to enter. The only known way of passing from the outside of the gravity well to the inside is by hopping on one foot, spinning around, and waving your arms in the air. This is such a thoroughly ridiculous way of entering a country that of course no one’s ever done it, and to this day Fatus Maximus is one of the few remaining undiscovered civilizations left on this earth.
An interesting bit of national history is, of course, how the gravity well was first encountered. It was first discovered when Gorge Porker decided one day to take a leak in the bushes near his house, right on the nation's eastern border. When he returned a few minutes later, it was to find that his entire civilization had suddenly packed up and gone. He lived off the land for six long years of loneliness and hardship until one particularly bad summer drought. Moved by desperation, he attempted a primitive one-man rain dance and suddenly found himself in the middle of a McChubster's hamburger joint.
Government and Political Structure:
Full Name: The Democratic Republic of Fatus Maximus
Type of Government: Town Hall Representative Democracy
Fatus Maximus’ government is simple, with the people themselves featuring the central role in the decision-making process. The way it works is this: the people give a large part of their income to the government. At the government’s weekly town hall meetings, to which all citizens of that particular city are invited to, the people would tell the government how to spend it. Usually this is followed by a highly educated but young and inexperienced government public relations official’s attempt to persuade the people there were better and more practical ways to spend their money. This is usually followed by the people at these town hall meetings throwing large amounts of rotten fruits and vegetables at the above mentioned public relations official.
The executive branch of the government, located in Fatopia, usually decides what issues to send to the town hall meetings for discussion, but the people can call for referendum at any time to address issues not endorsed by the executive branch. These meetings typically end in a consensus, but should a particularly divisive issue come up, the citizens can decide it with a 2/3 majority vote. They then appoint a representative to carry out their wishes in Parliament at the end of the week- either by consensus or a simple majority vote. A new representative is elected each week, and a citizen cannot serve as a representative two consecutive weeks in a row. Every four years an election is held on June 30th, Election Day, to elect a new Prime Minister, whose policies will determine the course of the issues over the next four years. Prime Ministers can serve as many consecutive terms as they can win, and the Prime Minister selects candidates for his cabinet, with Parliament’s approval.
Capital City: Fatopia
States/Provinces: None
National Pastime: Fatus Maximus’ favorite sport is tummyball, a very simple sport in which large, fat men bounce a round rubber ball off their stomachs in an attempt to hit the opposing team's square target, which is mounted on a twelve-foot poll on opposite ends of the field. If this sounds like an unbelievably dull and impossible sport, that's because it is. Much of the actual entertainment value involved comes from watching large, fat men running around and working up a sweat attempting to bounce a ball off of their stomach. It was so bizarre and amusing when it first appeared in Fatus Maximus nearly sixty years ago that it quickly became an immediate success, and the novelty has not yet worn off.
Government Officials:
• Prime Minister- Bubba Larjas
• Minister of Education- Chub Stomachson
• Minister of Defense- Stout Bigboned
• Minister of Transportation- Ton Widewaist
• Minister of Diplomatic Efforts- Big Friendly Fat Guy
• Minister of Public Services- Belly Fatman
• Minister of The Environment- Ton Fastfoodsman
• Minister of Indeterminate Purpose- Gorge Overflow
• Minister of Desserts- Lub Lardson
Major Cities:
• Cholesterol- Located in west Fatus Maximus, Cholesterol is a city of 17 million Fatus Maxians. Home of the Heroes’ Monument. The first capital of Fatus Maximus. The capital was moved to Fatopia after only two years because of severe flooding. It is also site of the National Mint, where donuts are baked in the ancient fiery furnaces that were built by the natives that inhabited the land before it was colonized by the first settlers from the Dimension of the Fat People.
• Sumo City- Located in northwest Fatus Maximus, Sumo City contains 48 million citizens. Location of Broad Way, site of the DONUT Stock Exchange building. Also located in Sumo City is the country’s largest television broadcast tower. Located in between the Desert of Diet and the lush forests of the National Bigbellied Baboon Preserve.
• Buddhaville- Remarkable for its rainy climate, Buddhaville is a thriving township of eleven million citizens in southwest Fatus Maximus. Located north of the Bay of Pigs. Half a day’s walk from the Bulbous Swamp, Buddhaville is home to the enormous Generic Buddha Statue recognized throughout the nation.
• Salivatas- A city of 11,200,000 people in the upper northeast of the country. Location of the nation’s small movie industry.
• Blubberia- A city of twenty four million people in south Fatus Maximus. Located equidistant between the Bulbous Swamp and Lake Wet. Site of Fatus Tower, the largest building in the country.
• Mmmopolis- Tropical Mmmopolis, located on the Pot Roast Peninsula, on the Gulf of Gelatin. Home to 24 million people, Mmmopolis takes pride in having the World’s Tallest Tower of Oreo Cookies.
• Saturated and Unsaturated- The twin cities of Fatus Maximus. Each with a population of eighteen million, these two cities are remarkable both for their many lucrative industrial factories and the untamed nightlife there.
Date Founded: 1608 AS (After Settlement)/1654 AD
Legal System: Fatus Maximus’ legal system is handled in the town hall meetings. Any disputes between citizens that merit legal action are decided at that week’s meeting after the executive branch’s agenda is voted upon. Criminal suspects that are apprehended by the police are given a fool-proof lie detector test. If they are found guilty, they are then held in confinement until that week’s town hall meeting, where the citizens collectively decide upon a sentence. Crime is almost unheard of, thanks to the well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare.
Suffrage: 18
Legal Drinking Age: 18
Political Parties: Political parties in Fatus Maximus are organizations that citizens join to ensure their voices are heard in town meetings. Parties agree on an issue before a town meeting is even held, and go into them united against any opposition. The ones whose members have the biggest lung capacity usually win. They are usually informal and each city or town will most likely have three or four ones unique to that area. There are, however, several large inter-city parties, and it is from these that candidates for the Prime Minister’s office usually come from. Although political affiliation is irrelevant to signing up for an election, it is rare for independent candidates to gain large amounts of support. The four largest political parties in Fatus Maximus are:
• The Worker’s For Less Work Party- 68 million members, based in Blubberia
• The Economic Backers Party- 65 million members, based in Appetite
• The People Who Don’t Like The Workers or the Economic Backers Parties Party- 42 million members, based in Mmmopolis
• The Potataoist Brethren Party- 35 million members, based in Fatopia
International Organization Participation: United Nations
UN Description Category: Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Economy:
The Fatus Maxian government provides for all the basic needs of its people. The state provides free houses for anyone who can show proof that they pay their taxes. Electricity is provided by extremely cheap solar panels and a few hydroelectric dams, and the government pays to keep the stations running so ordinary citizens don’t have electric bills. They pay the water and gas companies in the same way, so people don’t have to worry about such things. And government kitchens provide free meals to anyone who asks for them. They are popular with the middle and upper classes, and are treated as restaurants by the general population. The food they serve isn’t too bad, but the real reason people eat at the food kitchens is because they are free. The only reason the Fatus Maxian economy doesn’t collapse overnight is because the government kitchens don’t give away hot fudge brownies with ice cream, thus compelling citizens to work in the private sector and spend their donuts at restaurants that do sell them.
And, unbelievable as it seems, the system works. The people go out and spend what little of their paychecks the government doesn’t receive on things to make living in their free houses a little nicer or treat themselves to an expensive restaurant every once in a while- the kind that not only sell hot fudge brownies with ice cream but write in French on the menu. And the shopkeepers and restaurant owners give the profits to their employees, who go out and spend what little of their paychecks the government doesn’t receive on things to make living in their free houses a little nicer or treat themselves to an expensive restaurant every once in a while- the kind that not only sell hot fudge brownies with ice cream but write in French on the menu.
Numerous job niches can be found within the country. Despite the fact that food can be gotten for free by any citizen from the government food kitchens, restaurants still exist and are quite popular simply because they serve better food then the government food kitchens. Electronics superstores, clothing emporiums, and shopping centers can be found throughout the nation, as can watch stores, food markets and flower shops. Movie theaters and amusement parks are also lucrative entertainment industries.
Automobiles are sold for only slightly more than it costs to make them- expensive enough for automobile manufacturers to make a profit, but not enough for them to get rich off their merchandise. Few people have any real need for cars, however- Fatus Maximus provides a breathtaking free public transportation system of such a high quality that even the rich and famous feel at home in it. Indeed, they frequently use it traveling back and forth between their million dollar mansions and expensive French restaurants. Sparkling white luxury trains zip by on their elevated tracks, connecting the nation in a crisscross network of railroads. Fleets of large, comfortable buses transport riders across the city, as do government funded taxis. Air travel has not yet been invented in Fatus Maximus, both because airplanes cannot yet perform the complicated hopping one foot and spinning in a circle action necessary to pass through the gravity well unimpeded, and because the average Fatus Maxian’s suspicion of any device designed to lift more than a dozen 300+ pound citizens off the ground.
Economic Strength: Thriving
GDP: $14,525,639,434,887.38
Average Citizen’s Income (After Taxes): $19,290.36
Unemployment Rate: 4.41%
Income Tax Rate: 99.6%
Labor Force: 529,835,000
Top Five Industries:
1. Automobile Manufacturing
2. Television Broadcasting
3. Communications
4. Arms Manufacturing
5. Uranium Mining
Exports: None
Imports:
• Chocolate, Strawberry and Vanilla Ice Cream Flavoring
• “Nuclear Waste” Brand Extra Hot Chili
• Chocolate Chip Cookies
• Napkins
Surplus/Deficit: Fatus Maximus’ government currently has a surplus of $451,080,527,136.75
External Debt: Fatus Maximus currently has a trade deficit of $59,297,609,200.87
Currency: The national currency of Fatus Maximus is the donut.
Denominations:
5 Donut Holes=1 Glazed Donuts
20 Glazed Donuts= 1 Powdered Donut
40 Glazed Donuts= 1 Chocolate Donut
100 Glazed Donuts= 1 Jelly Filled Donut
200 Glazed Donuts= 1 Chocolate Éclair
In addition, Crumbs are abstract divisions of the Donut Hole. Exactly how much a crumb is worth is due to its size, condition, and haggling with the seller. There are few set values on items in Fatus Maximus, haggling being commonplace.
Exchange Rate: The current donut exchange rate is 1.0233 donuts = $1 US.
Fiscal Year Begins On: April 1
Fatus Maximus is currently looking for trade partners. TG if you are interested in entering such a relationship. Only nations capable of supplying our imports in high quantities need contact us.
Military:
Current Annual Budget: $1,312,644,333,967.94
Branches: The three main branches of the Fatus Maxian Armed Forces are the Army, the Navy, and the Air Force, with the Marines Corps and Coast Guard serving as sub-branches of the Navy.
Manpower: Fatus Maxian Armed Forces personnel number 1,882,500, with a total fighting force of 943,808.
Available Manpower: Should Fatus Maximus be required to perform a military draft, a total Armed Forces personnel number of 37,650,000 would result.
Percentage of Total Population: The current volunteer military takes up .25% of the total population.
Arms Deal Records:
Fatus Maximus has purchased the following military items from foreign nations-
• 20 Portland Armored Air Defense Vehicles from Hamptonshire (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=365864) - 1.5 million, 250,000
• 12 Manstein Destroyers from The Macabees (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=409787) - 600 million, 100 million
• 200 Dragon Fly Fighters from Mondoth (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=385183) - $19.8 million, $3.3 million
• 175 Osprey Fighters from Mondoth (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=385183)- 35 million, 6 million
• 100 Canary Fighters from The Macabees (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=409787) - 90 million, 15 million
• 230 Naram Sin Bombers from The Macabees (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=409787) - 350 million, 59 million
• 4 Titan Aircraft Carriers from Praetonia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=422657) - 4 billion, 200 million per year
• 6 Sahara Destroyers from Mondoth (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=385183)- 1.5 billion, 250 million
• 6 Praefele Destroyers from Praetonia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=422657)- 2 billion, 100 million
• 50 Jupiter Frigates from Praetonia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=422657)- 1.25 billion, 75 million
• 4 Rommel Battleships from The Macabees (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=409787) - 1.6 billion, 267 million
• 100 Panzer XI’s from The Macabees (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=409787) - 8 million, 1.4 million
• 4 Elusive Battleships from The Macabees (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=409787) - 5 billion, 834 million
• 10 Dragoon Infantry Support Tanks from Hamptonshire (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=365864) - 7 million, 1.2 million
• 20 Taft Main Battle Tanks from Hamptonshire (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=365864) - 17 million, 3 million
• 10 Roosevelt Heavy Main Battle Tanks from Hamptonshire (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=365864) - 20 million, 4 million
• 4 Swordfish Attack Submarines from Dumpsterdam (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=400407) - 1.9 billion, 317 million
• 4 Los Angeles Class Nuclear Submarines from Clan Smoke Jaguar (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=278770) - 1 billion, 167 million
• 4 Caesar Ballistic Missile Submarines from Hamptonshire (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=365864) - 1.75 billion, 292 million
• 4 Caesar Guided Missile Submarines from Hamptonshire (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=365864) - 2 billion, 334 million
• 4 Raxus Attack Submarines from Colerica (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=342454) - 900 million, 150 million
Uniform Description: Fatus Maximus proudly maintains the traditional military uniform first used by the Appetite Militia at the Battle of Plump Hill. The battle was the deciding conflict in the nation’s first major military confrontation, the D’po Incursion. The Incursion took place before the gravity well existed to keep foreigners outside of Fatus Maximus and took place centuries ago when the D’po barbarian tribes invaded the north. For a few months chaos reigned, but when the D’po launched a surprise attack on the city of Appetite one sweltering night, they quickly discovered the wrath of the city’s famed “just-five-more-minutesmen”, so named because of the groans they were said to have issued when roused to defend the city. They successfully repelled the invaders and drove them to the south, chasing after for miles. Other city militias, heartened by the victory, took the Appetite soldiers’ uniform for themselves, turning it into the unofficial national military dress. Subsequent victories drove the D’po out of the country, the barbarians actually building or stealing boats in a desperate attempt to escape the thousands of angry fat men stampeding towards their position. In 1857 AS, Prime Minister Stout ordered that the Appetite Just-five-more-minutesmen’s uniforms be made the official uniform of the armed forces. Because the militiamen battling at the Battle of Plump Hill were surprised while sleeping in the middle of a hot summer night, all Fatus Maxian soldiers on active duty wear nothing at all, the thick layers of blubber more then enough to protect them from the harshest environments. Modern-day improvements to the uniform include a shoulder strap used for holding weapons, grenades, hand-held radios and other such devices, but overall no other clothing is allowed for the country’s warriors. Few things strike more fear into the hearts of the enemy then the enraged battle-cry of ten thousand naked fat men charging towards you.
People and Population:
Total Population: 753,000,000
Age Structure:
0-14 years: 15.9% (male 59,854,400/female 59,872,600)
15-64 years: 63.5% (male 240,074,600/female 238,080,400)
65 years and over: 20.6% (male 77,458,000/female 77,660,000)
Population Growth Rate: .89%
Net Migration Rate: 2.44 migrants/1,000 population
Religious Statistics:
• Nonreligious- 42%
• Potataoism- 20%
• Buddhism- 17%
• Christianity- 7%
• Other- 14%
In addition, national icon Big Friendly Fat Guy has recently introduced Keepersism to Fatus Maximus, and it is rapidly gaining hold on society. More information on Keepersism can be found at their online monastery, www.keepersoflists.org.
Language: The official language of Fatus Maximus is English, with a snooty French accent when excited.
Literacy: 99% of the population can read and write.
Immigration Policy: All immigrants are welcomed with open arms in Fatus Maximus. No one is barred from becoming a legal citizen of our nation, no matter what race, sex, creed, age, or sexual orientation, provided they conform to the laws of Fatus Maxian society.
Whether you are fascinated by the mighty Maximus Mountains, are interested in trading with our DONUT Stock Exchange, want to swim in our beautifully tropical Gulf of Gelatin, are interested in browsing the Great Cookbook Library in Fatopia, are spellbound by the ancient donut furnaces of our National Mint, or fascinated by the World’s Largest Tower of Oreo Cookies, Fatus Maximus has something for everybody. You may have noticed an infectious sort of jolliness certain fat people seem to give off. Multiply that by a zillion times and you have a good idea of how our country functions. For truly, we are “The Land of 10,000 Fat Men.”
Anyone interested in becoming an ally of our nation should inquire here:
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=430193
Nations that are allied with Fatus Maximus include:
Deep Core Nations
The Hoth System
Spartanox
Hailandkill
Aust
Peopleita
Chitzeland
Great White Cognac
Madnestan
Valdamacia
The Greater Lands
Morvonia
Blu-Tac
Krioval
We also have embassy exchange programs with:
Deep Core Nations
The Hoth System
Spartanox
Hailandkill
Warta Endor
Yuro
Aust
Vietnamexico
Emmitia
New Savio
Camewot
The Macabees
Safehaven2
Roman Republic
Findan
Voxio
Peopleita
Chitzeland
Great White Cognac
Madnestan
Valdamacia
Palixia
The Greater Lands
Emporer Pudu
Communist Red China
Blu-Tac
Krioval
History:
Once upon a time, in a far off land, there existed a great and powerful nation. Then the people there invented philosophy, and the verb “exist” became needlessly complicated, so they ceased to do it- exist, that is. The next people to occupy this land, some 1500 years later, were not natives. They came from another dimension and settled the land, taming it until they had mastered it, and then they decided to form a nation. They named the nation Fatus Maximus. And, if you, o gentle reader, couldn’t already tell from the name of the place, everyone there was very overweight.
They were very overweight because where they came from, everyone was overweight. Their home dimension was known very simply as The Dimension of the Fat People. It is called that simply because everyone there is. Naturally, it’s a crowded place, with the over-population problem getting so bad that groups are constantly leaving to try their luck in other dimensions.
Well, one such group landed where Fatus Maximus is located and soon set up a thriving country dedicated to the principles they held dear in life- happiness, family, food, and watching reruns on television. The people there lived happy, quiet lives, and everyone more or less got along.
There were no real health concerns in Fatus Maximus, and there still are none to this day, despite the people’s obesity. Natural selection had long ago resigned itself to the fact that no matter how disadvantageous it made being overweight, these people would never consider dieting; and so it dutifully went about the task of weeding out the health concerns associated with obesity, such as heart disease, diabetes, tendencies to not be able to stand up again if they’ve fallen down, etc.
A land of caring and kindhearted individuals, they pushed for social equality from the beginning and every member of society is provided for. Despite the fact that no one needs to work anymore, they do it anyway simply because it’s good for everyone else, and because our currency is edible. The government plays a minimal role in how the nation functions, and things get done simply because they need to, and without all the ordering around other nations sometimes have to resort to.
Fatus Maximus has existed for centuries in quiet isolation; it is only recently that they have opened themselves up to the watchful eye of the outside world. Quickly becoming an economic and military power, they have nonetheless embraced diplomacy with open, if admittedly very flabby, arms. Joining the UN, they have pushed for policy changes for the good of the international community. And, as other nations have remarked, this in addition to the flabbergasting amount of time their delegate spends at the United Nations Stranger’s Bar.
Geography:
A Map of Fatus Maximus (http://photos.yafro.com/pics3/i/20050719/19/e/5/1/e514f1a54bae9a690314cae05ee700c40_full.jpg)
Border Length: 9,560
Coastline Length: 4672
Maritime Claims: The Isle of Maltose (Currently Under Dispute)
Bordering Nations: None
Climate: The majority of upper and middle Fatus Maximus is temperate, with tropical temperatures in the south. The nation’s only desert is in the northwest area of the country, the nation’s largest swamp is located in the southeast, and the southwestern peninsula contains the Pot Roast Rainforest.
Highest Elevation: Mt. Obeseus, 27,815 ft.
Lowest Elevation: Lake Wet, 200 ft. below sea level.
Resources: Fatus Maximus has many natural resources inside its borders. These include:
• Uranium deposits in the Pot Roast Peninsula, which are mined for both Fatus Maximus’ military and the Nuclear Sciences Particle Accelerator Laboratory in New Spiegal.
• Oil fields in the northwest corner of the country, which have been depleted after centuries of use by Fatus Maxians, but oil is no longer a major necessity of our economy following the invention of the hydrogen powered car.
• The nation’s forests are protected by law, but fields of cannabis plants under government supervision provide hemp paper and marijuana for medicinal uses for the country’s citizens.
• Natural gas, the nation’s single largest source being the vapors from the Bulbous Swamp in southeast Fatus Maximus.
Environmental Agreements: None
In addition, one would be remiss if, in a description of Fatus Maximus’ unique geography, one left out the gravity well. The cumulative weight of over 500 million Fatus Maxians contributes to a gravity well that surrounds the nation, effectively isolating it from the outside world. The gravity well is so powerful that from the outside, it is as if the nation doesn’t even exist. It is completely invisible- try to walk through it and you’ll find yourself walking around it without even noticing. The nature of the well makes it so that it is easy to leave but nearly impossible to enter. The only known way of passing from the outside of the gravity well to the inside is by hopping on one foot, spinning around, and waving your arms in the air. This is such a thoroughly ridiculous way of entering a country that of course no one’s ever done it, and to this day Fatus Maximus is one of the few remaining undiscovered civilizations left on this earth.
An interesting bit of national history is, of course, how the gravity well was first encountered. It was first discovered when Gorge Porker decided one day to take a leak in the bushes near his house, right on the nation's eastern border. When he returned a few minutes later, it was to find that his entire civilization had suddenly packed up and gone. He lived off the land for six long years of loneliness and hardship until one particularly bad summer drought. Moved by desperation, he attempted a primitive one-man rain dance and suddenly found himself in the middle of a McChubster's hamburger joint.
Government and Political Structure:
Full Name: The Democratic Republic of Fatus Maximus
Type of Government: Town Hall Representative Democracy
Fatus Maximus’ government is simple, with the people themselves featuring the central role in the decision-making process. The way it works is this: the people give a large part of their income to the government. At the government’s weekly town hall meetings, to which all citizens of that particular city are invited to, the people would tell the government how to spend it. Usually this is followed by a highly educated but young and inexperienced government public relations official’s attempt to persuade the people there were better and more practical ways to spend their money. This is usually followed by the people at these town hall meetings throwing large amounts of rotten fruits and vegetables at the above mentioned public relations official.
The executive branch of the government, located in Fatopia, usually decides what issues to send to the town hall meetings for discussion, but the people can call for referendum at any time to address issues not endorsed by the executive branch. These meetings typically end in a consensus, but should a particularly divisive issue come up, the citizens can decide it with a 2/3 majority vote. They then appoint a representative to carry out their wishes in Parliament at the end of the week- either by consensus or a simple majority vote. A new representative is elected each week, and a citizen cannot serve as a representative two consecutive weeks in a row. Every four years an election is held on June 30th, Election Day, to elect a new Prime Minister, whose policies will determine the course of the issues over the next four years. Prime Ministers can serve as many consecutive terms as they can win, and the Prime Minister selects candidates for his cabinet, with Parliament’s approval.
Capital City: Fatopia
States/Provinces: None
National Pastime: Fatus Maximus’ favorite sport is tummyball, a very simple sport in which large, fat men bounce a round rubber ball off their stomachs in an attempt to hit the opposing team's square target, which is mounted on a twelve-foot poll on opposite ends of the field. If this sounds like an unbelievably dull and impossible sport, that's because it is. Much of the actual entertainment value involved comes from watching large, fat men running around and working up a sweat attempting to bounce a ball off of their stomach. It was so bizarre and amusing when it first appeared in Fatus Maximus nearly sixty years ago that it quickly became an immediate success, and the novelty has not yet worn off.
Government Officials:
• Prime Minister- Bubba Larjas
• Minister of Education- Chub Stomachson
• Minister of Defense- Stout Bigboned
• Minister of Transportation- Ton Widewaist
• Minister of Diplomatic Efforts- Big Friendly Fat Guy
• Minister of Public Services- Belly Fatman
• Minister of The Environment- Ton Fastfoodsman
• Minister of Indeterminate Purpose- Gorge Overflow
• Minister of Desserts- Lub Lardson
Major Cities:
• Cholesterol- Located in west Fatus Maximus, Cholesterol is a city of 17 million Fatus Maxians. Home of the Heroes’ Monument. The first capital of Fatus Maximus. The capital was moved to Fatopia after only two years because of severe flooding. It is also site of the National Mint, where donuts are baked in the ancient fiery furnaces that were built by the natives that inhabited the land before it was colonized by the first settlers from the Dimension of the Fat People.
• Sumo City- Located in northwest Fatus Maximus, Sumo City contains 48 million citizens. Location of Broad Way, site of the DONUT Stock Exchange building. Also located in Sumo City is the country’s largest television broadcast tower. Located in between the Desert of Diet and the lush forests of the National Bigbellied Baboon Preserve.
• Buddhaville- Remarkable for its rainy climate, Buddhaville is a thriving township of eleven million citizens in southwest Fatus Maximus. Located north of the Bay of Pigs. Half a day’s walk from the Bulbous Swamp, Buddhaville is home to the enormous Generic Buddha Statue recognized throughout the nation.
• Salivatas- A city of 11,200,000 people in the upper northeast of the country. Location of the nation’s small movie industry.
• Blubberia- A city of twenty four million people in south Fatus Maximus. Located equidistant between the Bulbous Swamp and Lake Wet. Site of Fatus Tower, the largest building in the country.
• Mmmopolis- Tropical Mmmopolis, located on the Pot Roast Peninsula, on the Gulf of Gelatin. Home to 24 million people, Mmmopolis takes pride in having the World’s Tallest Tower of Oreo Cookies.
• Saturated and Unsaturated- The twin cities of Fatus Maximus. Each with a population of eighteen million, these two cities are remarkable both for their many lucrative industrial factories and the untamed nightlife there.
Date Founded: 1608 AS (After Settlement)/1654 AD
Legal System: Fatus Maximus’ legal system is handled in the town hall meetings. Any disputes between citizens that merit legal action are decided at that week’s meeting after the executive branch’s agenda is voted upon. Criminal suspects that are apprehended by the police are given a fool-proof lie detector test. If they are found guilty, they are then held in confinement until that week’s town hall meeting, where the citizens collectively decide upon a sentence. Crime is almost unheard of, thanks to the well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare.
Suffrage: 18
Legal Drinking Age: 18
Political Parties: Political parties in Fatus Maximus are organizations that citizens join to ensure their voices are heard in town meetings. Parties agree on an issue before a town meeting is even held, and go into them united against any opposition. The ones whose members have the biggest lung capacity usually win. They are usually informal and each city or town will most likely have three or four ones unique to that area. There are, however, several large inter-city parties, and it is from these that candidates for the Prime Minister’s office usually come from. Although political affiliation is irrelevant to signing up for an election, it is rare for independent candidates to gain large amounts of support. The four largest political parties in Fatus Maximus are:
• The Worker’s For Less Work Party- 68 million members, based in Blubberia
• The Economic Backers Party- 65 million members, based in Appetite
• The People Who Don’t Like The Workers or the Economic Backers Parties Party- 42 million members, based in Mmmopolis
• The Potataoist Brethren Party- 35 million members, based in Fatopia
International Organization Participation: United Nations
UN Description Category: Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Economy:
The Fatus Maxian government provides for all the basic needs of its people. The state provides free houses for anyone who can show proof that they pay their taxes. Electricity is provided by extremely cheap solar panels and a few hydroelectric dams, and the government pays to keep the stations running so ordinary citizens don’t have electric bills. They pay the water and gas companies in the same way, so people don’t have to worry about such things. And government kitchens provide free meals to anyone who asks for them. They are popular with the middle and upper classes, and are treated as restaurants by the general population. The food they serve isn’t too bad, but the real reason people eat at the food kitchens is because they are free. The only reason the Fatus Maxian economy doesn’t collapse overnight is because the government kitchens don’t give away hot fudge brownies with ice cream, thus compelling citizens to work in the private sector and spend their donuts at restaurants that do sell them.
And, unbelievable as it seems, the system works. The people go out and spend what little of their paychecks the government doesn’t receive on things to make living in their free houses a little nicer or treat themselves to an expensive restaurant every once in a while- the kind that not only sell hot fudge brownies with ice cream but write in French on the menu. And the shopkeepers and restaurant owners give the profits to their employees, who go out and spend what little of their paychecks the government doesn’t receive on things to make living in their free houses a little nicer or treat themselves to an expensive restaurant every once in a while- the kind that not only sell hot fudge brownies with ice cream but write in French on the menu.
Numerous job niches can be found within the country. Despite the fact that food can be gotten for free by any citizen from the government food kitchens, restaurants still exist and are quite popular simply because they serve better food then the government food kitchens. Electronics superstores, clothing emporiums, and shopping centers can be found throughout the nation, as can watch stores, food markets and flower shops. Movie theaters and amusement parks are also lucrative entertainment industries.
Automobiles are sold for only slightly more than it costs to make them- expensive enough for automobile manufacturers to make a profit, but not enough for them to get rich off their merchandise. Few people have any real need for cars, however- Fatus Maximus provides a breathtaking free public transportation system of such a high quality that even the rich and famous feel at home in it. Indeed, they frequently use it traveling back and forth between their million dollar mansions and expensive French restaurants. Sparkling white luxury trains zip by on their elevated tracks, connecting the nation in a crisscross network of railroads. Fleets of large, comfortable buses transport riders across the city, as do government funded taxis. Air travel has not yet been invented in Fatus Maximus, both because airplanes cannot yet perform the complicated hopping one foot and spinning in a circle action necessary to pass through the gravity well unimpeded, and because the average Fatus Maxian’s suspicion of any device designed to lift more than a dozen 300+ pound citizens off the ground.
Economic Strength: Thriving
GDP: $14,525,639,434,887.38
Average Citizen’s Income (After Taxes): $19,290.36
Unemployment Rate: 4.41%
Income Tax Rate: 99.6%
Labor Force: 529,835,000
Top Five Industries:
1. Automobile Manufacturing
2. Television Broadcasting
3. Communications
4. Arms Manufacturing
5. Uranium Mining
Exports: None
Imports:
• Chocolate, Strawberry and Vanilla Ice Cream Flavoring
• “Nuclear Waste” Brand Extra Hot Chili
• Chocolate Chip Cookies
• Napkins
Surplus/Deficit: Fatus Maximus’ government currently has a surplus of $451,080,527,136.75
External Debt: Fatus Maximus currently has a trade deficit of $59,297,609,200.87
Currency: The national currency of Fatus Maximus is the donut.
Denominations:
5 Donut Holes=1 Glazed Donuts
20 Glazed Donuts= 1 Powdered Donut
40 Glazed Donuts= 1 Chocolate Donut
100 Glazed Donuts= 1 Jelly Filled Donut
200 Glazed Donuts= 1 Chocolate Éclair
In addition, Crumbs are abstract divisions of the Donut Hole. Exactly how much a crumb is worth is due to its size, condition, and haggling with the seller. There are few set values on items in Fatus Maximus, haggling being commonplace.
Exchange Rate: The current donut exchange rate is 1.0233 donuts = $1 US.
Fiscal Year Begins On: April 1
Fatus Maximus is currently looking for trade partners. TG if you are interested in entering such a relationship. Only nations capable of supplying our imports in high quantities need contact us.
Military:
Current Annual Budget: $1,312,644,333,967.94
Branches: The three main branches of the Fatus Maxian Armed Forces are the Army, the Navy, and the Air Force, with the Marines Corps and Coast Guard serving as sub-branches of the Navy.
Manpower: Fatus Maxian Armed Forces personnel number 1,882,500, with a total fighting force of 943,808.
Available Manpower: Should Fatus Maximus be required to perform a military draft, a total Armed Forces personnel number of 37,650,000 would result.
Percentage of Total Population: The current volunteer military takes up .25% of the total population.
Arms Deal Records:
Fatus Maximus has purchased the following military items from foreign nations-
• 20 Portland Armored Air Defense Vehicles from Hamptonshire (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=365864) - 1.5 million, 250,000
• 12 Manstein Destroyers from The Macabees (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=409787) - 600 million, 100 million
• 200 Dragon Fly Fighters from Mondoth (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=385183) - $19.8 million, $3.3 million
• 175 Osprey Fighters from Mondoth (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=385183)- 35 million, 6 million
• 100 Canary Fighters from The Macabees (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=409787) - 90 million, 15 million
• 230 Naram Sin Bombers from The Macabees (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=409787) - 350 million, 59 million
• 4 Titan Aircraft Carriers from Praetonia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=422657) - 4 billion, 200 million per year
• 6 Sahara Destroyers from Mondoth (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=385183)- 1.5 billion, 250 million
• 6 Praefele Destroyers from Praetonia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=422657)- 2 billion, 100 million
• 50 Jupiter Frigates from Praetonia (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=422657)- 1.25 billion, 75 million
• 4 Rommel Battleships from The Macabees (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=409787) - 1.6 billion, 267 million
• 100 Panzer XI’s from The Macabees (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=409787) - 8 million, 1.4 million
• 4 Elusive Battleships from The Macabees (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=409787) - 5 billion, 834 million
• 10 Dragoon Infantry Support Tanks from Hamptonshire (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=365864) - 7 million, 1.2 million
• 20 Taft Main Battle Tanks from Hamptonshire (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=365864) - 17 million, 3 million
• 10 Roosevelt Heavy Main Battle Tanks from Hamptonshire (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=365864) - 20 million, 4 million
• 4 Swordfish Attack Submarines from Dumpsterdam (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=400407) - 1.9 billion, 317 million
• 4 Los Angeles Class Nuclear Submarines from Clan Smoke Jaguar (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=278770) - 1 billion, 167 million
• 4 Caesar Ballistic Missile Submarines from Hamptonshire (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=365864) - 1.75 billion, 292 million
• 4 Caesar Guided Missile Submarines from Hamptonshire (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=365864) - 2 billion, 334 million
• 4 Raxus Attack Submarines from Colerica (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=342454) - 900 million, 150 million
Uniform Description: Fatus Maximus proudly maintains the traditional military uniform first used by the Appetite Militia at the Battle of Plump Hill. The battle was the deciding conflict in the nation’s first major military confrontation, the D’po Incursion. The Incursion took place before the gravity well existed to keep foreigners outside of Fatus Maximus and took place centuries ago when the D’po barbarian tribes invaded the north. For a few months chaos reigned, but when the D’po launched a surprise attack on the city of Appetite one sweltering night, they quickly discovered the wrath of the city’s famed “just-five-more-minutesmen”, so named because of the groans they were said to have issued when roused to defend the city. They successfully repelled the invaders and drove them to the south, chasing after for miles. Other city militias, heartened by the victory, took the Appetite soldiers’ uniform for themselves, turning it into the unofficial national military dress. Subsequent victories drove the D’po out of the country, the barbarians actually building or stealing boats in a desperate attempt to escape the thousands of angry fat men stampeding towards their position. In 1857 AS, Prime Minister Stout ordered that the Appetite Just-five-more-minutesmen’s uniforms be made the official uniform of the armed forces. Because the militiamen battling at the Battle of Plump Hill were surprised while sleeping in the middle of a hot summer night, all Fatus Maxian soldiers on active duty wear nothing at all, the thick layers of blubber more then enough to protect them from the harshest environments. Modern-day improvements to the uniform include a shoulder strap used for holding weapons, grenades, hand-held radios and other such devices, but overall no other clothing is allowed for the country’s warriors. Few things strike more fear into the hearts of the enemy then the enraged battle-cry of ten thousand naked fat men charging towards you.
People and Population:
Total Population: 753,000,000
Age Structure:
0-14 years: 15.9% (male 59,854,400/female 59,872,600)
15-64 years: 63.5% (male 240,074,600/female 238,080,400)
65 years and over: 20.6% (male 77,458,000/female 77,660,000)
Population Growth Rate: .89%
Net Migration Rate: 2.44 migrants/1,000 population
Religious Statistics:
• Nonreligious- 42%
• Potataoism- 20%
• Buddhism- 17%
• Christianity- 7%
• Other- 14%
In addition, national icon Big Friendly Fat Guy has recently introduced Keepersism to Fatus Maximus, and it is rapidly gaining hold on society. More information on Keepersism can be found at their online monastery, www.keepersoflists.org.
Language: The official language of Fatus Maximus is English, with a snooty French accent when excited.
Literacy: 99% of the population can read and write.
Immigration Policy: All immigrants are welcomed with open arms in Fatus Maximus. No one is barred from becoming a legal citizen of our nation, no matter what race, sex, creed, age, or sexual orientation, provided they conform to the laws of Fatus Maxian society.