NationStates Jolt Archive


Never trust the Swiss

Super Evil Switzerland
22-06-2005, 22:01
Switzerland. Located in between Italy and France (you know the country full of smelly people?), you would never suspect them. Oh sure, they control all of Europe's money and the Vatican (you know the Swiss Guard?) but who would ever suspect them? They were neutral in every war in Europe, even that great war, War World II. But yet, they trusted them... and they would regret that today.

The natives are restless...

The Swiss border which was usually quiet was.... unusually quiet. But then it happened. All over Europe explosions happened, Parliamentary buildings destroyed, Heads of States, headless, pun intended. You know us being evil and all... ah right, let me continue. And among this rockus, who took advantage? The people you would suspect the least, you bufoon. The Swiss.

I see dead people...

All over the border, Swiss tanks, soldiers, and jets rushed out of their borders, destroying any towns and cities in their ways. Not even the combined strength of the European Confederation could stop them, no. Soon the whole of Europe (and quite frankly half of Russia) were now servents to their new Swiss masters.

Switzerland, Building of Doom, Bunker of Doom, Bunker of the Bunker of Doom, Bunker of ZOMG |337/\/355 that can PWN j00 n00b of Sexy Doom

The Federal Council, the most evillest of all the Councils, more evil then the Council that revealed Clinton's involvement with Luinsky, look Hillary isn't good looking! The room wasn't fancy, just a table with a few flowers with dark drab walls... but it was an evil table with an wall with evil flowers..... of doom! DOOM I SAY. And who led this evil Council?

Dr. Evil (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/74/Dr_Evil.jpg)

"And soon... I shall rule the World! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ack ack! I'm choking! I'm chooooooking! Ack!" Oh.... he's dead. But he died an evil death. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha umm err... right.

The World Shall Bow to the Swiss Cross!

And yes, we really are trying to rule the world...
The Silver Turtle
22-06-2005, 22:07
We remain neutral.
Concremo
22-06-2005, 22:15
:D Very Funny!
Doomingsland
22-06-2005, 22:31
As demanded by TIOR, we acknowledge the Swiss as a threat. Thank you.
The Island of Rose
22-06-2005, 23:06
Official Statement from The Swiss Evil Empire of Doom

You have twenty four hours to surrender or your inboxes will be spammed with viagra advertisements. That is all.

The Evil Council of Evil Swiss Doom
imported_Illior
22-06-2005, 23:11
Official Statement from The Swiss Evil Empire of Doom

[i]You have twenty four hours to surrender or your inboxes will be spammed with viagra advertisements. That is all.

The Evil Council of Evil Swiss Doom
TIoR! I never expected you were one to use puppets! In Public! With Little kids!
The Island of Rose
22-06-2005, 23:19
TIoR! I never expected you were one to use puppets! In Public! With Little kids!

I'm a very bored man...
Medellina
22-06-2005, 23:21
snip

You have twenty four hours to surrender or your inboxes will be spammed with viagra advertisements. That is all.

snip

No! Don't go to the Bad Place!!!
imported_Illior
23-06-2005, 00:11
I'm a very bored man...
Well... thats too bad... but still, It'd be better to spam inboxes with bigmouth billy bass ads instead
The Silver Turtle
23-06-2005, 21:42
Official Statement from The Swiss Evil Empire of Doom

You have twenty four hours to surrender or your inboxes will be spammed with viagra advertisements. That is all.

The Evil Council of Evil Swiss Doom
Neutral as we are, that is an act of war!
Should you proceed, we shall react in kind.

A million mobile phones shall be dropped upon Switzerland's major population centres...ALL PLAYING THE CRAZY FROG RINGTONE!

You have our ultimatum. Back down, or face the consequences!

I'm also very bored...
Joseph Seal
23-06-2005, 21:53
Official Statement From Joseph Seal

You shall transfer control of your government to us immediately, or we shall kidnap all your swiss cheese and cover the holes. You have been warned.

-The emperor of Joseph Seal who is currently preparing to stuff anchovy paste into the holes of swiss cheese.
The Macabees
23-06-2005, 21:57
Official Response
I have two very fine Swiss friends, and when I say they're fine, they are fiiiine. So, uh, I've come to the conclusion that Switzerland makes very pretty ladies. Spare me?
The Island of Rose
23-06-2005, 21:57
Neutral as we are, that is an act of war!
Should you proceed, we shall react in kind.

A million mobile phones shall be dropped upon Switzerland's major population centres...ALL PLAYING THE CRAZY FROG RINGTONE!

You have our ultimatum. Back down, or face the consequences!

I'm also very bored...

You don't have the balls
The Island of Rose
23-06-2005, 22:02
Official Response
I have two very fine Swiss friends, and when I say they're fine, they are fiiiine. So, uh, I've come to the conclusion that Switzerland makes very pretty ladies. Spare me?

Official Statement

No
[NS]Kreynoria
23-06-2005, 22:07
Damn you Swiss, with your chocolate and your cheese
The Macabees
23-06-2005, 22:09
Kreynoria']Damn you Swiss, with your chocolate and your cheese

The Swiss should die.
Joseph Seal
23-06-2005, 22:15
OOC: The Swiss are awesome. I love them almost as much as I love the Polish. I think they deserve to conquer the world, just cause they are the awesomeness of awesome... uh, wait, I'm supposed to be RPGing? Oh yeah... sorry.

Official Statement From Joseph Seal

You have been warned Switzerland. Currently, about half of your Swiss cheese has had their holes filled with anchovy paste, and I believe half of your population are dying of heart attacks. Now I say again, transfer control of your government and empire to Joseph Seal, or we will fill the holes of the rest of the Swiss cheese... and your chocolate is next.

-The emperor of Joseph Seal
The Silver Turtle
23-06-2005, 22:19
You don't have the balls
With trembling hands, The Great Ineffable Bob, Ineffable Emperor, Overlord of The Coalition of Evil and The GDODAD, Metus Councilman, the single man responsible for the deaths of untold millions, the maiming of his own citizens for his sole amusement*, with more Evil Deeds to his name than...most Evil people... lifted a pair of bright pink fluffy earmuffs, and picked up the phone.
He dialled.
A small package had earlier that day arrived in the mail at the Evil Swiss Evil Council's Evil Headquarters, much like that package that Neo gets at work at the start of The Matrix...
The contents had been one mobile phone. That phone now began ringing, full volume, and The Crazy Frog tune resounded throughout The Evil Swiss Evil Council's Evil Headquarters.

The Great Ineffable Bob hung up, and removed his earmuffs.

Oh no?


*See 'History of "The Underwater Bubble"' Chapter 14; The Lightbulb Incident
The Island of Rose
23-06-2005, 22:29
OOC: The Swiss are awesome. I love them almost as much as I love the Polish. I think they deserve to conquer the world, just cause they are the awesomeness of awesome... uh, wait, I'm supposed to be RPGing? Oh yeah... sorry.

Official Statement From Joseph Seal

You have been warned Switzerland. Currently, about half of your Swiss cheese has had their holes filled with anchovy paste, and I believe half of your population are dying of heart attacks. Now I say again, transfer control of your government and empire to Joseph Seal, or we will fill the holes of the rest of the Swiss cheese... and your chocolate is next.

-The emperor of Joseph Seal

Official Statement

Fools, don't you know that the Swiss don't actually eat Swiss cheese and chocolate?


Evil Council Place

"Oooh, the frog tune!"

"Let's dance!"
The Silver Turtle
24-06-2005, 23:40
"In the words of my friendly neighbourhood Sith Lord;
'Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!'"