Pantera
17-06-2005, 21:40
Panteran News Network, an affiliate of Wombat News, apologizes or interrupting 'Urban Cheese: The Ultimate Shakedown', but a breaking story is even now unfolding. We now go live to Buck Wylde, our man on the scene. ...Buck?
In a shocking turn of events, the sixty-six rare 'Reaver Monkeys' that were recently stolen from the Apeshit Zoo in Toke, Pantera, were found this afternoon, shaved completely and running amok in an abandoned warehouse near the Commoner's Quarter of the city.
"It was a nightmare," states a witness to the episode,"They were shrieking and throwing feces, all bald and shiny from the baby oil..."
The general consensus is that the individuals responsible for this terrible incident are sick and depraved, and need to be thoroughly punished for such acts of thoughtless terror. When reached for comment, the Lord Reaver had only this to say: "Hah." We'll keep you updated on his position on this matter.
In a related note, the accumulated dung of the two-week's of captivity the monkeys were forced to endure was also found early this morning. Witnesses report that a large concrete truck was backed up to Toke's small Elven Quarter's Crystal Fountain. The contents of the cement truck were unloaded into the sparkling waters, much to the dismay and horror of the local elven population.
Needless to say, the matter of the shaved monkeys is now closed, but I think there is a larger problem, here. It begins at shaved monkeys and befouled fountains, but where does it end? Are we in the midst of a large-scale terrorist conspiracy?
FIND OT AT NINE!
{{ooc: So bored... Bonus points if anyone knows where the headline came from.}}
In a shocking turn of events, the sixty-six rare 'Reaver Monkeys' that were recently stolen from the Apeshit Zoo in Toke, Pantera, were found this afternoon, shaved completely and running amok in an abandoned warehouse near the Commoner's Quarter of the city.
"It was a nightmare," states a witness to the episode,"They were shrieking and throwing feces, all bald and shiny from the baby oil..."
The general consensus is that the individuals responsible for this terrible incident are sick and depraved, and need to be thoroughly punished for such acts of thoughtless terror. When reached for comment, the Lord Reaver had only this to say: "Hah." We'll keep you updated on his position on this matter.
In a related note, the accumulated dung of the two-week's of captivity the monkeys were forced to endure was also found early this morning. Witnesses report that a large concrete truck was backed up to Toke's small Elven Quarter's Crystal Fountain. The contents of the cement truck were unloaded into the sparkling waters, much to the dismay and horror of the local elven population.
Needless to say, the matter of the shaved monkeys is now closed, but I think there is a larger problem, here. It begins at shaved monkeys and befouled fountains, but where does it end? Are we in the midst of a large-scale terrorist conspiracy?
FIND OT AT NINE!
{{ooc: So bored... Bonus points if anyone knows where the headline came from.}}