Camel Eaters
16-06-2005, 06:47
OOC: This is not family oriented material.
It was an outrage! It was ungodly! It was a loogie in the face and a kick in the nuts to every single good hard-working man on the face of this earth. It was a tax on porn and other unsavory savories. Booze! Smut! Pot! Tax it all they said! The government taxed it all. Guns! Pills! Fire Alarms in the shape of naked women! Tax it all they said! The government taxed it all. Man this fuckin sucks fuckin nuts. Those were the words used by the generation hardest hit to summarize it. Those were the words on the lips of every sixteen year old boy who could get a job, pay for porn, pay to get pissed off his ass, and most of all pay for that wonderful, wonderful weed of heaven.
In the small, pathetically small, town of Junta, Mexico, Camel Eaters a man named McPherson stood up one day and put down his overpriced porn. He stood up and he put down his expensive alcohol. He stood up.
He roared and ranted and dropped his kilt to moon the authorities. McPherson was going to make his own porn! He was going to make his own booze! He was gonna grow his own weed and use it to make his own clothes! McPherson got caught. He got caught and executed when he ended up stabbing an officer in the eye with a screwdriver when they started to confiscate his stuff. McPherson's corpse hung in the breeze at the gallows of Daggafjord Abbey in the next town over.
Among the swinging gallows and corpses set some boys. They were regular boys. Able to quote their family history here and there all day but goddamn they just wanted to sit down and play some videogames. They were new. They were original. They were bored.
The green sheen of Haggis's short well-cropped Roman styled hair set against his features as the other boys stayed a bit further from the swinging corpses. They were friends all of them. Known each other for awhile. They'd known McPherson and had come here for his muchly short-lived wake.
A debate was broiling over though........
"Wha should we do?"
With all sincerity and philosophical light Haggis nodded sagely and responded in short order.
"We should blow sumting the fuck up."
The other boys were quick to agree before passing around another whiskey from McPherson's secret stash. MacIntyre stood and staggered a bit forward towards the oldest and by far the most rotted gallow. He swung a small sword he kept on his personage at all times and he struck down that old maggoty noose! He struck it down and he struck it down good. Taking it he raised it towards the hanging body of McPherson, whom Haggis was sitting under, and then plopped down on his own neck in a playful manner.
Johnny Jumped-Up, his real name is Morris and if you tell anyone he's gonna fuckin skin you alive, all bleary-eyed from the tears........or the pot shook his large unwieldy mane and said.
"Even tiv we blow sumting da fuck up," at this juncture he made a loud KABLOOSH!!!! sound and moved his hands all around in quick motions, "we still won't change no fuckin tax laws."
Everyone mulled this over before Jimmy Three-Fists started laughing and stood.
"Yae ken that if we found the Gahlan Scrolls then we'd could yae know find out which'un of us are descended. Then we could solve da fuckin tax laws!"
The boys were quick to agree. This was a fucking wonderful idea. Now all they needed was a name. That's when MacIntyre noticed that McPherson still had a boner. Even after death. He pointed it out and everyone laughed at that. Then Haggis perked up.
"Yae ken that my cousin works over at a hospital in Doolin. She says that they see cadavers with stiffys all da damned time! They call 'em Angel Lusters. I figerrs that'd be a good name for oos."
The boys mulled this over. And that's how the Angel Lusters, the Seekers of the Gahlan Heritage Scrolls, came to walk this Earth......
OOC: More to come later.
It was an outrage! It was ungodly! It was a loogie in the face and a kick in the nuts to every single good hard-working man on the face of this earth. It was a tax on porn and other unsavory savories. Booze! Smut! Pot! Tax it all they said! The government taxed it all. Guns! Pills! Fire Alarms in the shape of naked women! Tax it all they said! The government taxed it all. Man this fuckin sucks fuckin nuts. Those were the words used by the generation hardest hit to summarize it. Those were the words on the lips of every sixteen year old boy who could get a job, pay for porn, pay to get pissed off his ass, and most of all pay for that wonderful, wonderful weed of heaven.
In the small, pathetically small, town of Junta, Mexico, Camel Eaters a man named McPherson stood up one day and put down his overpriced porn. He stood up and he put down his expensive alcohol. He stood up.
He roared and ranted and dropped his kilt to moon the authorities. McPherson was going to make his own porn! He was going to make his own booze! He was gonna grow his own weed and use it to make his own clothes! McPherson got caught. He got caught and executed when he ended up stabbing an officer in the eye with a screwdriver when they started to confiscate his stuff. McPherson's corpse hung in the breeze at the gallows of Daggafjord Abbey in the next town over.
Among the swinging gallows and corpses set some boys. They were regular boys. Able to quote their family history here and there all day but goddamn they just wanted to sit down and play some videogames. They were new. They were original. They were bored.
The green sheen of Haggis's short well-cropped Roman styled hair set against his features as the other boys stayed a bit further from the swinging corpses. They were friends all of them. Known each other for awhile. They'd known McPherson and had come here for his muchly short-lived wake.
A debate was broiling over though........
"Wha should we do?"
With all sincerity and philosophical light Haggis nodded sagely and responded in short order.
"We should blow sumting the fuck up."
The other boys were quick to agree before passing around another whiskey from McPherson's secret stash. MacIntyre stood and staggered a bit forward towards the oldest and by far the most rotted gallow. He swung a small sword he kept on his personage at all times and he struck down that old maggoty noose! He struck it down and he struck it down good. Taking it he raised it towards the hanging body of McPherson, whom Haggis was sitting under, and then plopped down on his own neck in a playful manner.
Johnny Jumped-Up, his real name is Morris and if you tell anyone he's gonna fuckin skin you alive, all bleary-eyed from the tears........or the pot shook his large unwieldy mane and said.
"Even tiv we blow sumting da fuck up," at this juncture he made a loud KABLOOSH!!!! sound and moved his hands all around in quick motions, "we still won't change no fuckin tax laws."
Everyone mulled this over before Jimmy Three-Fists started laughing and stood.
"Yae ken that if we found the Gahlan Scrolls then we'd could yae know find out which'un of us are descended. Then we could solve da fuckin tax laws!"
The boys were quick to agree. This was a fucking wonderful idea. Now all they needed was a name. That's when MacIntyre noticed that McPherson still had a boner. Even after death. He pointed it out and everyone laughed at that. Then Haggis perked up.
"Yae ken that my cousin works over at a hospital in Doolin. She says that they see cadavers with stiffys all da damned time! They call 'em Angel Lusters. I figerrs that'd be a good name for oos."
The boys mulled this over. And that's how the Angel Lusters, the Seekers of the Gahlan Heritage Scrolls, came to walk this Earth......
OOC: More to come later.