Upper Xen
13-06-2005, 00:56
MEMO-2039210-4-etew
MOST SECRET!
If you are a person with improper or no clearance found with this memo, you may be prosecuted under the violation of the National Secrets Acts of 1954, 1967, 1998. In other words, put this down if you value your life. Delete this!
--------------
For those who do have access-
From: Dr. Desiderio
To: Mr. Voroshilov
Subj: New toys.....
Hey Klemmy-
This is Robert. I'd like to tell you how things are going with the new "projects" we're making in Australia and NZ. Yes, it is supposed to be "Xenizen North Ocewhatty." But nevermind that.
With the war winding down and all that, we took the chance to restart some ideas we were batting around before the chingon started. Both inspired by pop culture.
Item one is the happy fun ball.
What I'm thinking is that we've been experimenting with soem Xenofauna, particularly spores found in Yunnan that explode like hell. I found that when they are broken down chemically, they are nothing more than pyrophoric compounds, similar to phosphourous and napalm.
We still have some of those spores-those Towelheads in Yunnan are preventing us from getting anymore-so we decided to put them in a more stable material that will not only keep it from going off every five minutes, but will also amplify its effects. Research with synthetic compounds derived from the spores indicates that the best so far is a gel compound, made of a gel liquid, derived from some old Nickelodeon Slime, impreganted with sodium and extra phsophourous and some octo-nitro-cubane and other stuff, using a special Xenofauna derived fixative found in the spore. We discovered that when mixed with water, this stuff flames up worse than napalm, and stinks, and melts the s**t out of anything it touches. This stuff burns like hell; we had to put it in special lead containers and chill this stuff to prevent an accident.
We found that, when tested on Australian rabbit populations, this binary arrangement, placed inside a construct that looks like a superball, this stuff bursts, exploding in a 10m radius and setting everything on fire. Water just makes it worse; oxygen makes it ravenous. Took us several tons of dynamite and six 500 man fire teams to prevent this from being a disaster.
I think that this stuff is awesome. I vote we make this, and distribute this to bombers and SpecOps teams. Perhaps a bomber delivery system, similar to the Headcrab thingy would be nice. That, and this be used as a special demo charge.
MOST SECRET!
If you are a person with improper or no clearance found with this memo, you may be prosecuted under the violation of the National Secrets Acts of 1954, 1967, 1998. In other words, put this down if you value your life. Delete this!
--------------
For those who do have access-
From: Dr. Desiderio
To: Mr. Voroshilov
Subj: New toys.....
Hey Klemmy-
This is Robert. I'd like to tell you how things are going with the new "projects" we're making in Australia and NZ. Yes, it is supposed to be "Xenizen North Ocewhatty." But nevermind that.
With the war winding down and all that, we took the chance to restart some ideas we were batting around before the chingon started. Both inspired by pop culture.
Item one is the happy fun ball.
What I'm thinking is that we've been experimenting with soem Xenofauna, particularly spores found in Yunnan that explode like hell. I found that when they are broken down chemically, they are nothing more than pyrophoric compounds, similar to phosphourous and napalm.
We still have some of those spores-those Towelheads in Yunnan are preventing us from getting anymore-so we decided to put them in a more stable material that will not only keep it from going off every five minutes, but will also amplify its effects. Research with synthetic compounds derived from the spores indicates that the best so far is a gel compound, made of a gel liquid, derived from some old Nickelodeon Slime, impreganted with sodium and extra phsophourous and some octo-nitro-cubane and other stuff, using a special Xenofauna derived fixative found in the spore. We discovered that when mixed with water, this stuff flames up worse than napalm, and stinks, and melts the s**t out of anything it touches. This stuff burns like hell; we had to put it in special lead containers and chill this stuff to prevent an accident.
We found that, when tested on Australian rabbit populations, this binary arrangement, placed inside a construct that looks like a superball, this stuff bursts, exploding in a 10m radius and setting everything on fire. Water just makes it worse; oxygen makes it ravenous. Took us several tons of dynamite and six 500 man fire teams to prevent this from being a disaster.
I think that this stuff is awesome. I vote we make this, and distribute this to bombers and SpecOps teams. Perhaps a bomber delivery system, similar to the Headcrab thingy would be nice. That, and this be used as a special demo charge.