NationStates Jolt Archive

Due to genocide against arabs I declare war on whittier. My 5 million man army is going to attack Whittier with my 100,000 stealth bomber airforce.

I am sending 75 fleets to attacks his ports.

King Ahab will force Whittier into giving up all his lands. And if he resists, I will kill off his people with my nukes.

ooc: LOL, read the stickies. No declaring war on first post. Rolls up newspaper and smacks Hookeyman on the nose.

20,000 missiles enter Whittier lands and wipe out his capital and kill 100,000 of his people.

OOC: I smell a puppet.

I also smell my mom's delightful cookies. Anyone want some? Double choc chip!

*Hands the puppet and Theao (How does one pronounce your name?) cookies*

Defence (0%): $0

Sorry, you can't support a one-man army. And your numbers are godmodding. There's no way that you could support a 5 million man army; it would be a logistical nightmare. 100,000 stealth bombers? I doubt that even the US has that many stealth planes. And 75 fleets is a huge number, and one that your nation cannot support.

So sorry.

(PS: nukes are not sold to nations younger than 2 months here)

1) Your army would be no more than 400,000 people, that's even with a draft. That said, that would be 200,000 fighting men/women. Even with those numbers, over half would be scared drafties with little or no training who are scared shitless.

2)100,000 plane stealth bomber force? With a country your size, you don't even have 100,000 licensed pilots!

3)75 Fleets? You wouldn't have 75 ships that are able to leave your coastline.

4)You have no nukes.

Sorry, you can't support a one-man army. And your numbers are godmodding. There's no way that you could support a 5 million man army; it would be a logistical nightmare. 100,000 stealth bombers? I doubt that even the US has that many stealth planes. And 75 fleets is a huge number, and one that your nation cannot support.

So sorry.

(PS: nukes are not sold to nations younger than 2 months here)
I spend a trillion dollars on my defense and my nation is all military. Everyone is required to fight.

ooc: I can say it, can't figure out how to tell people how to say it.
As to the cookie, do you mean one like this?
http://www.leelefever.com/archives/cookie.jpg

Even the little babies in the birthing cribs?

You don't spend anything on your military. As per every calculator on the net.

You also can't have more than 5% of your military in the armed forces, even with a draft.

OOC: No, tastier looking and it melts in your mouth.

http://www.feuerwher.de/forum/troll.jpg
click obey.

Whittier, your people are all dead. Respond to my attack. Surrender or I will kill more.

Hookeyman is preparing to send in my army of Godzillas.

OOC: I smell a puppet.

As do I....*clap* *clap* *clap*

Jolly good show...that...now then, tell me *shines light in Hookeyman's face, giving him and open handed slap across the face* Who do you work for? Who sent you? TALK DAMN YOU! Oh, I have ways of making you talk...*pulls out a small portable phone* I'm going to need a car battery, jumper cables, some water and a sponge...yes, on the double."

Turning back to Hookeyman. "Now, then? Shall we continue this discussion? I would hate to have to resort to such...extreme and barbaric measures..." letting the words hang in the air...

You don't spend anything on your military. As per every calculator on the net.

You also can't have more than 5% of your military in the armed forces, even with a draft.
My nation is dedicated to all war. I spend 5 trillion on military stuff.

What the hell is in that guy's sack?

Personally, no idea, I'll leave it to your imagination.

http://www.sunsetrpg.com/nsxmlparser.php

Go there and type in Hookeyman. That'll show you how much you spend on everything. As you will see, your government budget is barely over 20million.

Troll feed.

I'm hoping all red clothes, but it just might be a large amount of harvested organs.

And Hookeyman, your entire national production fits into my 3% Commerce budget, and into my entire national production almost 100 times.

In case what everyone else has said contained too many big words:

You Don't Have Five Trillion.

I need more money. Give me all your money or I will declare war on all of you.

In case what everyone else has said contained too many big words:

You Don't Have Five Trillion.
Give me your money so I can attack Whittier.

ooc: is it wrong for me to laugh at this "war"?

IC: Hookeyman: Corzia does not know what to say, you cannot possibly have an force of 100,000 stealth planes, let alone one. Every analisis of your economy has told us that you spend $0 (Zero dollars) on your defense. If you do not stop your brutish threats, we will not hesitate to send in a real army, or even one 10 year-old kid with a squirtgun to make you stop.

I need more money. Give me all your money or I will declare war on all of you.

And then all of us would declare war on you. Even if 100% of your country was military (babies, everything) we would run you over...

I'm feeling imperialistic, and I have four Star Destroyers in Sol. Lemme just.. sorta.. COUGH nudge one on in here..

This extremely foul attempt to extort much larger countries has failed. Please stop with the declarations, they make my head hurt.

i need money for my army. where do you get your money from?

Patience, and a lot of time.

Within a week you'll have enough for a defense budget.

Til then you're anyone's meat.

Does anyone want to invade his nation and carve it up like we did Saharistan... only not rebuild it?

You get money from being big and/or having a good economy or selling resources or terrorism or crime. Oh and you can always beg, beggings goods.

MCKagan, that will just be viewed as larger nation bullying. We should be understanding and help him aspire to greater things.

Killing him will just be a waste of resources and time.

I would, but he probably wouldn't RP it and we would have effectively lost someone in the OOC realm from NationStates, which is a Bad Thing™.

True, that...

I've just not had a good war in a few months... and I don't want to go into one against someone that has like 5.33 billion people...

Well, What shall we do? Show him the fast way to get the cash? Or the slow, safe, and legal way?

Decide Amongst yourselves, as I have work to do. I entrust this newbie to your care.

Make me proud.

I selling oil and diamonds and gold.
oil = 50 dollars a barrels
diamonds and gold = 1,000 dollars a pound

Well, you could always be on the lookout for wargames. There aren't many FT ones though, which keeps me out of them for the most part.

Well, What shall we do? Show him the fast way to get the cash? Or the slow, safe, and legal way?
the fast way. So I can get a army by tommorrow and destroy Whittier.

Dude,

You won't have an army capable of much more than border patrol for most of this month.

If you want to take down Whitter, form an anti-Whitter allience.

ooc: i think we are all forgetting thathe could just try to make allies so that he could go have a war, and not lose right after he declares it.
too bad McKagan, i would've attacked him with you, but i guess i will have to wait for another opprotunity.
Hookeyman: you have to wait, do not go into war for the fun of it, go fight for something you believe in, that or money.

Well after a week or two we'll talk about it, or if he gets more support sometime in the next few days.

ooc: you have a deal, McKagan. in the mean time i am thinking of offerin Hookyman some old MiG's so that he could have at least one plane.

Hell, I'll send him some surplus F4's we have around here at a 10-for-1 deal just so I can have some of my K12's in the theatre for more than a show of force.

Wow, I spend 4.3 trillion dollars on military. Beat that Dubya!

*TAG* I'm bored...

Hookeyman: We would like to give you 30 MiG-21's that we found in some old military hangers for no cost, we will train the pilots, and pay for the upkeep of the planes. We only have one condition, you use them against us in a skirmish. We will not kill the pilots if you do take our deal, this will be more of a training exercise.Take time to think it over, we will send them at any time. We have also heard that McKagan is thinking of sending you some F4's, it looks like you may get that military that you want.

We've got 20 F4's sitting on the runway at Robynson AFB.

Confirm that you want them and we'll send them on.

(hey, so this is going to be an actual wargame? not a real war? that works for me, if that's what you're saying)

ooc: i was thinking wargames, i don't think the world would like it if we destroyed a tiny nation because we were borded at 12:15am (centeral time). if he is so eager for a war we could give one to him. if he does attack Whitter, i will not tolorate it.

Yeah, if he starts an invasion i'll have about 30 K12's on the runway...