NationStates Jolt Archive

"Since our glorious victory over the imperialist, fascist forces of Ankhmet, Makaar, Fluffywuffy and others, our nuclear arms have expanded rapidly. Catfish currently boasts a modern navy, 500 Mockingbird tactical weapons (of which 50 are mounted in submarines, ensuring the neutrality of Catfish fleets wherever in the world they may be) and now 2,000 Feles ICBMs. We are now able to offer our designs for export now"

King George of Catfish

N-45 Mockingbird Light Nuclear Device
Designed and Produced in Feline Catfish

http://homepage.eircom.net/~steven/images/noranti.jpg

Length: 9m
Width (inc Wingspan): 0.8m (3m)

Speed: Mach 1.2
Range: 120 Nautical Miles
Mode of Flight: Sea-Skimming

Warhead: N-45 Mockingbird Light Nuclear Warhead
Yield: 20 Kilotonnes

Production Cost: £50,000,000

The N-45 Mockingbird Light Nuclear Device and accompanying missile was designed purely with Feline Catfish tactical doctrine and defence requirements in mind. The warhead itself is light, putting it within our current attainable maximum yield and economising our precious weapons-grade Uranium supply. The more important upshot of this is that it can be used within our 100nm of national waters without dangerous quantities of radiation reaching our own shores.

The warhead is, however, still easily big enough to destroy a small fleet, and the missile itself is also well designed. Kept small and stealthy, the missile follows a sea-skimming profile meaning it is extremely difficult to attempt to intercept it until it reaches the horizon, which is very close to the enemy fleet. Its speed of Mach 1.2 also means it can reach its target very quickly. The N-45 is relatively cheap, and 500 have been ordered (150 of which have currently been delivered). We hope to slowly decommission our old nuclear arsenal and replace it entirely with Mockingbirds and our soon to be released (pending extensive research and development) ICBM. We are currently also working on silos for these missiles, but until then they can also be launched from railway carriages like our old weapons.

N-90 Feles Heavy Nuclear Strategic Device
Designed and Produced in Feline Catfish

http://space.skyrocket.de/img_lau/atlas_d_1.jpg

Length: 25m
Width (inc Wingspan): 3m (7m)

Speed (Decent): Mach 12 (25)
Range: 15,000 Nautical Miles
Mode of Flight: Ballistic

Warhead: N-90 Feles Heavy Nuclear Warhead
MIRV Warheads: 8
Yield: 500 Kilotonnes

Production Cost: £250,000,000

The first ICBM to be built by Catfish, the Feles is capable of destroying eigth cities with a single missile. A thousand can easily destroy an entire nation, even one protected by an anti-ballistic missile shield. As the missile enters its ballistic stage, it released twenty decoys, expanding the number of targets than enemy defences have to contend with by a huge amount.

We are willing to purchase twelve (12) of N-90 Feles Heavy Nuclear Strategic Devices in price of 3 billion. Half of that will be wired upon the confirmation, rest when the missiles arrive.

Madnestanian government

TAGs and watchs wars start again.

TAG as well, this is yet another distrubing development started by FC.

Watching it, and thats probably all that i'll do.

I guess you figure they're gonna get em anyway, why not get em from you, eh?

TAG

"Madnestan, the weapons will be constructed and sent shortly, guarded by our navy."

King George

ooc; the imperial navy, if you want a debate about the usefulness of the nuclear deterrent then pelase telegram me or start a topic on general.

Again, it was an IC topic from my people, not a statement about Nuclear deterrent. If I was going to post in OOC, I would add an OOC at the beginning of the scentence. Man, don't you people read? I am sorry if I annoyed anyone, but it was a purely IC post.
ooc: it didnt look ic or anything like an actual government statement at all. It didnt even say who in your government supposedly said it. If you had actually written "ic" then i could have understood, but you didnt and it was open to interpretation and so it's perfectly reasonable to assume that that post was ooc.

ooc: Eh? You make a pointless 1 and a half line post that's nothing to do with the thread (ie buying nuclear weapons) but is more of a vague insults, then you start arguing with people who ask you to stop cluttering the thread. What do you expect?

ooc: Oh joy to the world :rolleyes: FC, its not that I have a problem with your RPing, but can you not have a single non-nuke related RP?

ooc: Eh? You make a pointless 1 and a half line post that's nothing to do with the thread (ie buying nuclear weapons) but is more of a vague insults, then you start arguing with people who ask you to stop cluttering the thread. What do you expect?

OOC: Come now, don't over-react. Fine, I will remove my post. Wow, you are so easily annoyed. I'm not arguing, mainly pointing out errors you have made on commenting over my "pointless post." It was an attempt at making an acceptable TAG. Next time i'll just TAG your thread. You don't want an Argument? Don't argue back. I simply point out where people are wrong.

*Awaits another blast of complaints*

Official Response from the Government of Chrisstan

Whilst we have no aims at procuring a nuclear deterrent at this time, we are interested as to the costs of purchasing the Mockingbird missile without the Uranium Warhead for conventional warhead use. We also enquire as to whether they could be modified to fire from a Xi'an Aircraft Industry Corporation (XAC) Hong-6 (H-6) Stand-off Missile Carrier Bomber (Chinese copy of the Soviet TU-16 Badger A) as well as from land-based launchers.

President for Life Jacob Trelawne Somersby

OOC:

This might be better if the price was in USD for those of us who can't understand forign coinage. (feels stupid)

ooc: Well US currency is equally foreign to me.

http://www.reuters.co.uk/currencies.jhtml?src=dg

***Official Proclimation***
Made by: Emporer Shaz Bot
The Holy Empire of Shazbotdom
http://www.theodora.com/flags/zi.gif

Although we don't mind you owning nuclear weaponry. We do hope that you check on who you sell to before you make a sale. Terrorist organizations pride themselves in pretending to be a nation just to get a hold of nuclear technology so they can mass murder civilians all across the world. Please watch your selling and try to do research on a nation before selling to them.

~~~End Transmission~~~

Another serie of 12 x N-90 Feles Heavy Nuclear Strategic Devices will be purchased, if possible. The payment shall be done like previously.
Pleasure to make business with you.

Madnestan Government

can i buy the rights to the feles icbm and the mockingbird lnd for $1billion.

*money wired on confrimation*

"All orders are agreed, especially for north east somerset, our allies. Shazbotdom, thankyou for your concern."

King George of Catfish

My nation is currently at war, a war of liberation. We need all the help we can get. I would like to purchase two nuclear war-heads, I will pay a great amount! Please telegram me.

"As shown on the first page, an ICBM and nuclear cruise missile is on offer. The prices are also attached. How many of each would you like."

Catfish Minister of Defence

Encrypted messsage to Feline Catfish

We would like to procure one hundred Mockingbird missiles, complete with a dozen Feles ICMB's.

The money will be handed to you in cash as soon as one of our freighers picks up the cargo in one of your ports, we expect this transaction to not ever see the lights of day or else we will be forced to purchase these goods elsewhere.

Patrick Bavelour, Merchant Excellent, Mexica Union.

OoC: Don't reply to Dumpsterdam, they have no idea that this is taking place, so you'll only arrouse more attention to yourself.

I ask for only two nuclear war heads

I would like to buy 10 N-90's at a cost of 9.5 bil. Do you have any chem/bio warheads?

"I will sanction the sale of the requested weapons to all prospective buyers so far."

King George III

Well, well, well. FC's back again, and surprise, surprise, he's selling Nukes.

"Nuclear weapons have been up for export from Feline armouries for some time now."

King George III

I guess I just haven't had the pleasure to see them...

OOC-FC, Are you trying to spark another world war? You were so close last time, and I assure you no one has forgotten you or your actions.

ooc: No Im trying to make some cash selling nuclear weapons.

OOC: You didn't win a victory over Makaar. I stopped roleplaying because I got fed up with...whatsisname...I forget his name, but he made a huge godmod attack against me and I just got bored. Considering my nation is many times the size of yours, I could have crushed you if RPing in that old thread hadn't become so boring.

OOC: You didn't win a victory over Makaar. I stopped roleplaying because I got fed up with...whatsisname...I forget his name, but he made a huge godmod attack against me and I just got bored. Considering my nation is many times the size of yours, I could have crushed you if RPing in that old thread hadn't become so boring.
ooc: No you wouldnt. You lost most of your navy and your forces on the beach were being destroyed (even though my army was much smaller than yours). You lost. Admit it, and move on.

OOC: That was in initial battle. Yes, I would have lost that. But there is no way your nation (which was a LOT smaller back then) would be able to put up a fight against mine. You would have lost. Admit it, and move on.

EDIT: Oh, and what's this "most my navy" and "imperialist, fascist"? I wouldn't send most of my navy on an attack - Makaar's largest force is its navy as it is an island nation. And Makaar is not imperialist or fascist, it is diplomatic and democratic, but when a small, untrustworthy nation gets hold of nuclear weapons and refuses to reason, then we attack.

ooc: What would you have done? Sent another fleet? Got it nuked again? This is a pointless argument. Numbers dont equal victory, as the FIns showed when they defeated the USSR. Dont dare challenge me again.

OOC: Oh, I wouldn't dare. By the way, you're right, size doesn't always equal victory...but it usually does. Real battle isn't like battles on TV where the hopelessly outnumbered win because of an excellent general - real battle is where the hopelessly outnumbered lose because the enemy have enough forces to just trample over them.

You used every single nuke you had (all 200) in your attack on my fleet, and I call that overkill. But you did nothing wrong, you are an excellent RPer. It was the other guy who made me bored.

ooc: I actually had 2000 nukes. Im not silly enough to fire them all in one go. And usually the better army and the better general does indeed win. Google "Assaye" or "Waterloo" (both victories of the great British hero Lord Wellington) and you'll clearly see that victroy goes to the best, not the biggest. Also google "World War I" with regards to Russia.

I wish we'd have been able to finish our RP though. It was quite fun.

OOC: Yes, but the better army and the better general are usually the largest army.

Well, we could always post a few skirmishes, leading to another war...it doesn't make sense that tensions just suddenly die off after the conflict. As long as we make it a closed RP, I'm all for it.

EDIT: And I stand corrected on the nuke thing.

ooc: At Waterloo the French (arugably a better army) were both bigger and then defeated by a better general (Wellington). At Assaye, the British were HUGELY outnumbered. These are jsut a few examples. i dont see how you can make a blanket statement like "The bigger army is usually the better army". And ok make a new thread about something (sanctions, whatever) and we can go from there.

OOC: Very well then, I stand corrected on everything. Just probing here - is it OK if I say that Makaarian spies were caught in your nation, and we demand that they be returned or something (and this lights the fuse on a cold war or whatever)?

Ok.

*continues to ship uranium, plutonium, palladium, and cobolt to Feline Catfish*

The Republic of Lanquassia would be interested in purchasing two of hte light tactical nukes from the nation of Feline Catfish.

Can we offer some of our famous pottery for a discount?

OOC: Lanquassia, we'll have to talk about trade...

On behalf of the Freudotopian Imperial Navy (FIN), I would like to place an order for one (1) N-45 Mockingbird Light Nuclear Warhead and one (1) N-90 Feles Heavy Nuclear Strategic Device. The total amount due comes to 300,000,000 pounds. Money will be wired automatically upon confirmation of purchase. Thank you for your business.

--Rear Admiral Hiram Van Sanchez, Director of Procurement, FIN

OOC: Lanquassia, we'll have to talk about trade...

Feel free. I'll be putting up a factbook soonish...

Can I get in on the war? Remember that I was the one who attacked with CtP--it makes no sense that my nation won't still be very angry at you.

IC: While Sacred Emperor Lucifer tolerates your creation of a nuclear storefront, he wishes it made known that he thinks this is impolitic and stupid. I hope you remember that nuclear weapons have gotten you into trouble in the past, and we will await the tensions to begin.

OOC: FC, not that war is inevitable or anything, but this is a BAD IDEA. I dont want to see another bajillion arguments about your nuclear status, and you dont need a storefront.

IC: While Sacred Emperor Lucifer tolerates your creation of a nuclear storefront, he wishes it made known that he thinks this is impolitic and stupid. I hope you remember that nuclear weapons have gotten you into trouble in the past, and we will await the tensions to begin.

OOC: FC, not that war is inevitable or anything, but this is a BAD IDEA. I dont want to see another bajillion arguments about your nuclear status, and you dont need a storefront.


OOC: Shush, you. There are so many RP ops here that I am having a gasm just about it. :p

ooc: :P I'm kinda bored...mind if I start up a conflict based off this? I would like to put some of my special forces at work :D And yea you're right huge numbers don't equal victory(going back on something you said a before that I saw) you have the factor of training, equipment, and supplies to add in. Like the Six day war is another great example which Israel in six days destroyed defenses in Golan Heights, rid across the Sinia all the way up to the Suez Canal, and caused major losses for the Jordan Airforce.

Only times it does equal victory is in the case of Russia. If it wasn't for there huge military numbers in WWI and WWII they probally wouldn't have survived. They probally would have been uterly destroyed in WWI if they had a smaller military and then german forces would have been transfered over to the Western front. :P fun fun more years of war if that happened...

ic:
Transmission sent to Feline Fish
Our country, and my self Ivan Stanovich, find it offensive that you're justing selling nuclear weapons. What if these weapons where to fall into the hands of a terrorist? I ask you only once to stop your nuclear arms market or the Armed Forces of Nano Soft will forcefully stop it.
End transmission


The AFUSRNS are being activated and put on to full alert.

ooc: Sorry I would put more effort in but I think I'm coming down with a cold and it's like 12:30 AM so yea.

OOC: Is this business still open? If so...

"To the leader of Feline Catfish:

Greetings. The nation of Joseph Seal is interested in your nuclear warheads, and would like to purchase a fair amount.

And to other nations who will undoubtedly see this, the nuclear warheads will be used for defense and desperate times only. We hate nuclear weapons, but if they ensure our survival, so be it.

Anyway, the nation would like to buy:

N-45 Mockingbird Light Nuclear Device x100

N-90 Feles Heavy Nuclear Strategic Device x100

Total: 60 billion USD (OOC: I believe one British pound is 2 USDs, correct me if I'm wrong, and correct me if I'm wrong in the total price)

The money will be transferred to your nation's account after the deal is confirmed and the nuclear weapons reach our country. Thank you for your business."

-The emperor of Joseph Seal

OOC: Is this business still open? If so...

"To the leader of Feline Catfish:

Greetings. The nation of Joseph Seal is interested in your nuclear warheads, and would like to purchase a fair amount.

And to other nations who will undoubtedly see this, the nuclear warheads will be used for defense and desperate times only. We hate nuclear weapons, but if they ensure our survival, so be it.

Anyway, the nation would like to buy:

N-45 Mockingbird Light Nuclear Device x100

N-90 Feles Heavy Nuclear Strategic Device x100

Total: 60 billion USD (OOC: I believe one British pound is 2 USDs, correct me if I'm wrong, and correct me if I'm wrong in the total price)

The money will be transferred to your nation's account after the deal is confirmed and the nuclear weapons reach our country. Thank you for your business."

-The emperor of Joseph Seal

OOC:

Hope this helps.

Live mid-market rates as of 2005.06.23 05:03:22 UTC.
1.00 GBP (United Kingdom Pounds) = 1.82070 USD (United States Dollars)

1 GBP = 1.82070 USD|1 USD = 0.549240 GBP

OOC: Is this business still open? If so...

"To the leader of Feline Catfish:

Greetings. The nation of Joseph Seal is interested in your nuclear warheads, and would like to purchase a fair amount.

And to other nations who will undoubtedly see this, the nuclear warheads will be used for defense and desperate times only. We hate nuclear weapons, but if they ensure our survival, so be it.

Anyway, the nation would like to buy:

N-45 Mockingbird Light Nuclear Device x100

N-90 Feles Heavy Nuclear Strategic Device x100

Total: 60 billion USD (OOC: I believe one British pound is 2 USDs, correct me if I'm wrong, and correct me if I'm wrong in the total price)

The money will be transferred to your nation's account after the deal is confirmed and the nuclear weapons reach our country. Thank you for your business."

-The emperor of Joseph Seal

OOC: Firstly, bump, because I want my order finished.

Second, thanks Halberdgardia. ^_^

ooc: :P I'm kinda bored...mind if I start up a conflict based off this? I would like to put some of my special forces at work :D And yea you're right huge numbers don't equal victory(going back on something you said a before that I saw) you have the factor of training, equipment, and supplies to add in. Like the Six day war is another great example which Israel in six days destroyed defenses in Golan Heights, rid across the Sinia all the way up to the Suez Canal, and caused major losses for the Jordan Airforce.

Only times it does equal victory is in the case of Russia. If it wasn't for there huge military numbers in WWI and WWII they probally wouldn't have survived. They probally would have been uterly destroyed in WWI if they had a smaller military and then german forces would have been transfered over to the Western front. :P fun fun more years of war if that happened...

ic:
Transmission sent to Feline Fish
Our country, and my self Ivan Stanovich, find it offensive that you're justing selling nuclear weapons. What if these weapons where to fall into the hands of a terrorist? I ask you only once to stop your nuclear arms market or the Armed Forces of Nano Soft will forcefully stop it.
End transmission


The AFUSRNS are being activated and put on to full alert.

ooc: Sorry I would put more effort in but I think I'm coming down with a cold and it's like 12:30 AM so yea.

OOC: *listens to the sound of IGNORE cannons being warmed up... * The "gee, I'm bored, let's start a war" thing is particularly silly in this instance - all you're likely to get is perma-IGNORED for being a complete n00b. I'd suggest having a reason - or better yet, pick on someone your own size who is doing this.

ooc: *Rolls eyes* I'm a n00b? No my friend n00bs are people who don't even read the entire post. If you had read my post, I'm assuming you didn't from you n00bish response, you would have learned that I do have a reason. He is selling nuclear arms, thus I find that offensive and a possible threat against my nation. Besides I'm not planning a full scale assualt...more like fly in some special forces, destroy his nuclear facilities and then fly out. Surely he can handle a few Special Force's...

psst I've done thing like this before, not that often. I declared war on someone in the international mall for selling Bio/Chem/Nuclear weapons. Also if you know anything about the world now a days, whcih I think everyone does, you would know that the United States invaded Iraq claiming that they had WMD weapons. Him selling nuclear weapons is a complete legit reason for me to attack him.

i would like 10 mocking bird nuclear devices...... for 450,000,000 island schlurtarians

ooc: *Rolls eyes* I'm a n00b? No my friend n00bs are people who don't even read the entire post. If you had read my post, I'm assuming you didn't from you n00bish response, you would have learned that I do have a reason. He is selling nuclear arms, thus I find that offensive and a possible threat against my nation. Besides I'm not planning a full scale assualt...more like fly in some special forces, destroy his nuclear facilities and then fly out. Surely he can handle a few Special Force's...

psst I've done thing like this before, not that often. I declared war on someone in the international mall for selling Bio/Chem/Nuclear weapons. Also if you know anything about the world now a days, whcih I think everyone does, you would know that the United States invaded Iraq claiming that they had WMD weapons. Him selling nuclear weapons is a complete legit reason for me to attack him.

OOC: Pssst. Get a clue. It's been done before to him. And it was completely IGNORED as were the simpletons who tried it. So you don't have a reason, you have an excuse.

And, should you actually go through with the ridiculous idea of invading, you'll get glassed by the multiple nations defending him after the last debacle.

In short - been here, done this. Would rather not do it again. Any more information needed?

OOC: Hold it, calling each other newbs isn't helping anything! Personally, I have something a bit more interesting in mind... If only FC would actually respond!

Hello! Lanquassia to Feline Catfish!

OOC: I doubt he will, and I wouldn't blame him - the sort of crap being proposed is sheer garbage, and there's no reason for him to go through it again because someone is "bored".

OOC: I doubt he will, and I wouldn't blame him - the sort of crap being proposed is sheer garbage, and there's no reason for him to go through it again because someone is "bored".

OOC: Oh, it wouldn't have to deal with him, but the Republic has ordered a few tactical nuclear devices, but won't recieve them...

Just for nano soft:

Go here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=416823) and look at #4 under "BAD REASONS FOR WAR".

Then read the "Good Reasons for War".

Which set does "I'm bored, lets fight" fit under?

Any more questions?

Just for nano soft:

Go here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=416823) and look at #4 under "BAD REASONS FOR WAR".

Then read the "Good Reasons for War".

Which set does "I'm bored, lets fight" fit under?

Any more questions?

OOC

Well, hmm. How about an "I'm bored, I want to start a war, anyone want to work with me to come up with a good reason why our nations would go to war, then do said war?"

OOC

Well, hmm. How about an "I'm bored, I want to start a war, anyone want to work with me to come up with a good reason why our nations would go to war, then do said war?"

OOC: That's not what's being attempted. It's "I'm bored, so I'm going to come up with a really n00bish and incredibly dumb reason for a nation of my size to even concern itself with you and then I'm going to attempt to force military action from you because I'm bored and have absolutely no respect for anyone else".

A post of "OOC: FC, would you care for a war about this?" might have been appropriate, though I guarantee the response would be along the lines of "Get stuffed".

OOC: That's not what's being attempted. It's "I'm bored, so I'm going to come up with a really n00bish and incredibly dumb reason for a nation of my size to even concern itself with you and then I'm going to attempt to force military action from you because I'm bored and have absolutely no respect for anyone else".

A post of "OOC: FC, would you care for a war about this?" might have been appropriate, though I guarantee the response would be along the lines of "Get stuffed".

Because I'm attempting the one I tried... Wanted to make certain you wouldn't jump me for it *blink*

Because I'm attempting the one I tried... Wanted to make certain you wouldn't jump me for it *blink*

OOC: I'm not planning on jumping anyone.

OOC: I'm not planning on jumping anyone.

OOC: ...okay, so I should put away the trampoline, then? <--*sillyness* :eek:

ooc: Are you blind? DID I say I was going to start a war with him? NO! Read my bloody post! I said conflict and that conflict would only consist of Special Forces Operations... Also see unlike a true n00b I ask FIRST why? It’s because I have respect for the other player. Now if he does not wish to have this conflict then he can simply say no and I will be fine with that. That's how you get a real rp going you have mutual agreement between both players on the situation at hand. Thus I have asked and if he says yes then we'll start a small rp based off the given topic at hand.

See I have absolutely no interest in gaining imaginary land in this game my only interest is to have fun. What I've proposed is an RP for fun; I have no interest in massively invading him with 10 Million troops and 80,000 Armor Units. I've found it that Special force's mission can be fun, as long as they're done right though.

But you see I do have respect for FF and that is why I asked if he would like to start a small conflict off this. Now do you get that? Well it seems that you haven’t now maybe you will and you can stop wasting my time and spamming up FF's thread with pointless sh*t. <-- Now the filling of a thread with pointless crap which you've done a beautiful job of doing here in FF's Store can most certainly be classified as rude, disrespectful, and inconsiderate.

Psst I suggest you stop…