NationStates Jolt Archive

"It had been our practice for millenia that the greatest Kings of our people should decide when they die. Nature would not decide. God himself would have no say in this matter. They would choose when to die. They would be the ultimate say in it. They commited suicide. King Hannon had decided to do this.

He exited the Castle of Hannon and walked onto a field. He'd assembled eight Sawney Beane clansmen to fight him to the death. He'd brought the clans together for this moment. He would be ripped apart while still living. Linfield shed his crown of iron. He shed his rings of silver and modest gold. He shed himself of all weapons and even his cloak. He stepped forward a new man. Untainted by the world and never knowing pressure. He simply felt the cool wind hit his flesh and the grass beneath his feet. He raised his fists to the sky and brought them back down in a furious motion.

Turning to the assembled he spoke, for the last time as King.

"I am about to give myself to Death. I am deciding this. I have felt no depression at being your ruler. Only joy at having ruled such a magnificent people. I do one last act before I die at the hands of these Sawneys. I appoint my nephew, Kellin Hannon, the new King of our land."

Linfield stepped forward to the Sawneys. He nodded to them and folded his arms behind his back. They approached slowly spreading into a circle of massive flesh. Their King would not fight back. They knew this. He knew it. Everyone watching knew it. They themselves were the King's Bodyguards. They existed to protect him and his dignity. And he chose to die like this. They gave him this dignity now.

As one they rushed forward fists swinging into the man that had ruled them so long. A man they loved like a brother. He was shocked by the impact of his ribs being crushed so quickly, but King Hannon coughed up blood and didn't protest. They broke his arms and legs. They ripped his hands apart and snapped his feet in half. They finally had beaten him into such a comatose state that his head drooped and blood poured from his mouth and nose. He looked up to see the sun. And he smiled as a Sawney fist broke his skull into a thousand pieces.....

That was how the life of King Linfield Hannon ended. He chose his own death. He was granted this favor above all others. Now King Kellin Hannon takes the throne. We do not know how he shall rule us. But let us hope he shall rule us well."

-Speech delivered by Speaker Haya of the Monotheist Church or Camel Eaters, to the International Community.

King Linfield Hannon was a giant among men, a god among mortals, a statesman among politicians. He will be mourned. He will be missed. My prayers and sympathy go to all the people of Camel Eaters.

-Chia Neng Lee

Thank you. My uncle will remembered that way in our own land as well. We wish you all the best of luck in your endeavors. And we hope someday to cement a new friendship amongst the new leaders of both our nations.

King Kellin Hannon

"My condolences to the government of Camel Eaters."-The Great Leader Li.

Okay then.

King Kellin Hannon

Camel Eaters,
We are only glad that this able and noble leader chose an honourable death, rather than being worn down by age and time. We wish for the New Ruler to have the full support of the High Daesus, and that this opens a new era in Camel Eaters government.

Concremo

He wanted to die? Why didn't he just go get some girls to entertain himself with. That was no way for a king, no matter how rediculously austere and unluxurious, to die.

-Shah Khosru III

It is how a warrior King dies. Not how a ruler who sits on his throne and does not lead his people dies. He did not die like you will. He died like we die.\

King Kellin Hannon

It is how a warrior King dies. Not how a ruler who sits on his throne and does not lead his people dies. He did not die like you will. He died like we die.\

King Kellin Hannon

I see, and how, pray tell, do you think I will die?

-Shah Khosru III

"Probably on the wrong end of an explosive blast."-The Great Leader Li.

I can't say I would've chosen to go out like that, maybe something that seems a little less painful, but hey, I respect it. Good luck with ruling Camel Eaters. -The Emperor

"Probably on the wrong end of an explosive blast."-The Great Leader Li.


President Anderson wishes to enquire as to the right end of an explosive blast.

"The right end of an explosive blast is the one that you're furthest from."-The Great Leader Li.

Beating someone to death with bare hands of a group of men is cool way to punish criminals. We have a special group called Whacksmackers who are specialists in that. Wouldn't get my self killed by them though, but the beautiful speech made that look nice. I wish luck to the new king.

Colonel Tamujid, the Minister of Everything

"Da world jus' aint da same. Since we consider jor nation ta be a friend, perhaps we could offer ta build a small statchoo or memer-...mer...memorial ta joor former King? We got lotsa ver' nice spots for 'em. If dat dont work for jo', mebe we could make a larger version and send it ta joo? We do really good statchoos, mostly 'cause we tend ta go through importan' persons pretty fas' down 'ere."
-Krark XXVI

"Da world jus' aint da same. Since we consider jor nation ta be a friend, perhaps we could offer ta build a small statchoo or memer-...mer...memorial ta joor former King? We got lotsa ver' nice spots for 'em. If dat dont work for jo', mebe we could make a larger version and send it ta joo? We do really good statchoos, mostly 'cause we tend ta go through importan' persons pretty fas' down 'ere."
-Krark XXVI
Yes that would be rather nice. We thank you for your offer. Yes bring it on yo. We would appreciate the statue of da former pimp dog King. Thank you yo. Yo are some coo' goblinzez.

-Prime Minister Ghet to'Moof Inn

We express our condolences for the loss of King Linfield. God Bless his soul.

Gordon Lew

Kellin, sorry about your dad....I hope we can meet again.

Victoria Lew

Excellent.
A 28 foot tall statue of the former King has been commissioned and will be shipped within the month.
The main body of the statue is basalt, with quartz eyes, semi-precious jewels for the various clothing details (didnt want to use precious gems because they would be a target for vandalism, yes?), and an iron crown.
If you would be so good as to provide a picture of some kind showing the Kings weapon of choice, we will work on making the statue pose heriocaly whilst wielding it. Possibly slaying some sort of evil thing.

Our magnificent leader, Emperor Antonius the Great and Wise, weeps for the loss of such a man, who died as he ruled, like a King and a man. All of Generia mourns this great father of Uberstock and a guiding light in a world torn by madness and chaos. We grieve with our brethren of the Bornerifreudic Empire and all who know and love the greatness of Uberstock, and we shall ensure that King Linnfield Hannon lives on in our hearts and our memories. A great statue of bronze shall be put up in Generia City, in a place from hereon to be known as Linnfield Hannon square. We give our regards to the new King of Camel Eaters, and send our prayers and hopes that he may be as wise and strong as his predecessor.

Yours in mourning,
Lord Varus Tiberius Alexei

Our magnificent leader, Emperor Antonius the Great and Wise, weeps for the loss of such a man, who died as he ruled, like a King and a man. All of Generia mourns this great father of Uberstock and a guiding light in a world torn by madness and chaos. We grieve with our brethren of the Bornerifreudic Empire and all who know and love the greatness of Uberstock, and we shall ensure that King Linnfield Hannon lives on in our hearts and our memories. A great statue of bronze shall be put up in Generia City, in a place from hereon to be known as Linnfield Hannon square. We give our regards to the new King of Camel Eaters, and send our prayers and hopes that he may be as wise and strong as his predecessor.

Yours in mourning,
Lord Varus Tiberius Alexei

The Camel Eaters Government gave only this reply.

WHOOT!

As to Upper Xen:

Need not be worried all of yae. He chose to die like this rather than God play with him like a thing unto his Death. We hope that all great men could die as such.

As to Vicky:

Hehe. Well he was like a father to me. He was actually my uncle. And aye.....so since I'm the King and all would you like to come over sometime? I have an Empire and we could like see it some more. Or not. You like popcorn? I've gots lots of popcorn. And corn. And asian food!

At this point in the video a man walked in and patted the young King on the shoulder. He bent over and whispered in his ear before leaving. Kellin looked much better and smiled.

Vicky I would love it if you could grace my new Empire with your presence sometime. I shall even let you get a gland implanted that produces Toxin.....Right well I'm running out of things to say.

Excellent.
A 28 foot tall statue of the former King has been commissioned and will be shipped within the month.
The main body of the statue is basalt, with quartz eyes, semi-precious jewels for the various clothing details (didnt want to use precious gems because they would be a target for vandalism, yes?), and an iron crown.
If you would be so good as to provide a picture of some kind showing the Kings weapon of choice, we will work on making the statue pose heriocaly whilst wielding it. Possibly slaying some sort of evil thing.
Oh. He liked pie! And flaming swords with handles in the shape of naked women. And he also liked to throw things at things. Like pots of boiling water at buffaloes heads! Hmm. Well could you combine pie, flaming swords, naked women, boiling water, and buffaloes all into one thing?

Your King slaying a buffalo with a flaming sword in the shape of a naked woman while drinking boiling water?

Can they be standing on a pie when they do it?

The Buffalo will be transporting a large shipment of pie. Possibly for whatever passess for infidels over in Camel Eaters.

OOC: This thread started pretty solemn, and now it's got kinda silly, oh well alls well that ends well.

IC: We the people of Hab-bubble24601, do not cry for the death of your king, nor do we grieve, we never did buisness with him, or knew him. But by the way he died, we know that he was a good man, a true leader, we respect men, who have the bravery to choose their time to end their life, instead of clinging like a scared child to the last threads of life, through machines, and medicine, if I was not a robot, I would die in such a way, there will be a public ceremony in honour of a truly great tradition, a celebration not only for the most recent king of yours who has died through suicide, but for all your kings who have ended in such a honourable way.

IC: We the people of Hab-bubble24601, do not cry for the death of your king, nor do we grieve, we never did buisness with him, or knew him. But by the way he died, we know that he was a good man, a true leader, we respect men, who have the bravery to choose their time to end their life, instead of clinging like a scared child to the last threads of life, through machines, and medicine, if I was not a robot, I would die in such a way, there will be a public ceremony in honour of a truly great tradition, a celebration not only for the most recent king of yours who has died through suicide, but for all your kings who have ended in such a honourable way.
Aye. That's the way we are my friend. We all choose our time. Sometimes you just don't know it until your dead.

King Kellin Hannon