NationStates Jolt Archive

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The Freestates of Guffingford

"Today the great nation of Guffingford, land of the prosperous and resident/evident government passion for all things associated with far-right leaning politics, racial awareness programs, racial inequality and more worthy ideologies celebrates the four billionth citizen. However, I would also like to take a few moment for people to tell us how bad we are, how much they despise Nazism and Apartheid and other political correct blabbering nobody cares about in the Guffingfordian administration.

Because whenever national leaders release a poll to determine how popular their pathetic excuse of a nation is - with everybody lying to each other just to take advantage of one's stupidity thanks to their credulous allies and to get reductions in storefronts Guffingford has decided never to do something in the lines of "please tell us we're good friends" again. So, from today Guffingford is going to do many things totally differently completely disregarding international law - not signed by Guffingford of course but since we like violating things - United Nations wherever foolish members dare to interfere in our business and annoying small alliances who think they're a big man.

In short, and I'll sum it up:

1 - Everybody who says Guffingford is a non-democratic dictatorship with a leader only caring about people of his race or social background (thus his race) is correct. So we will give a short sample of our automated response:
Racial mixing is treason. Whatever you say, you are wrong and we were a fanatical Christian nation too you'd be damned to hell in one unified cry.

2 - Everybody who says Guffingford's human rights record isn't the best around, go waste someone elses time someplace else. In fact, we ask you kindly to redirect your complaints about human rights abuses to the laughable, in a hysterical way if I might add, 'nations' known as Roach-Busters, The Parthians and their lackeys. They enjoy to hear how 'evil' and 'bad' they are.

3 - Your nation, except allies of us, is inferior. You are nothing, we do not respect you and we do not wish to have contact with you. Your x amount of citizens mean as much to the Guffingfordian armies as a fresh pile of manure: absolutely nothing.

Thank you for listening, watching or feeling, because we have sent this as a Braille message as well!"

Benevolent Guffingford has spoken.

Ah...a backstabbing racist hate-nation, huh?

(OOC: Is it some kind of satire?)

Nope, this is how Guffingford is. We don't care about everyone except our allies (a very select group) and above all else, ourselves. Allies can always count on my assistance, on the condition they're not warmongering bullies. But most of the time I'm the warmongering bully so it's a perfect arrangement. Guffingford runs a "don't call us, we call you" policy regarding allies.

A both OOC and IC post by Guffingford.

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/guffingford.jpg

The Freestates of Guffingford

"Today the great nation of Guffingford, land of the prosperous and resident/evident government passion for all things associated with far-right leaning politics, racial awareness programs, racial inequality and more worthy ideologies celebrates the four billionth citizen. However, I would also like to take a few moment for people to tell us how bad we are, how much they despise Nazism and Apartheid and other political correct blabbering nobody cares about in the Guffingfordian administration.

Because whenever national leaders release a poll to determine how popular their pathetic excuse of a nation is - with everybody lying to each other just to take advantage of one's stupidity thanks to their credulous allies and to get reductions in storefronts Guffingford has decided never to do something in the lines of "please tell us we're good friends" again. So, from today Guffingford is going to do many things totally differently completely disregarding international law - not signed by Guffingford of course but since we like violating things - United Nations wherever foolish members dare to interfere in our business and annoying small alliances who think they're a big man.

In short, and I'll sum it up:

1 - Everybody who says Guffingford is a non-democratic dictatorship with a leader only caring about people of his race or social background (thus his race) is correct. So we will give a short sample of our automated response:
Racial mixing is treason. Whatever you say, you are wrong and we were a fanatical Christian nation too you'd be damned to hell in one unified cry.

2 - Everybody who says Guffingford's human rights record isn't the best around, go waste someone elses time someplace else. In fact, we ask you kindly to redirect your complaints about human rights abuses to the laughable, in a hysterical way if I might add, 'nations' known as Roach-Busters, The Parthians and their lackeys. They enjoy to hear how 'evil' and 'bad' they are.

3 - Your nation, except allies of us, is inferior. You are nothing, we do not respect you and we do not wish to have contact with you. Your x amount of citizens mean as much to the Guffingfordian armies as a fresh pile of manure: absolutely nothing.

Thank you for listening, watching or feeling, because we have sent this as a Braille message as well!"

Benevolent Guffingford has spoken.


Alexonium shall now start sabotauging your major industries through comodity price-manipulation and backroom deals.

You're fuct.

Have a nice day!

-Bjorn Harraldson
Advisor to Emir Alex II when sending transmission, and oviously drunk

IC:
Being drunk isn't an excuse for threatening us. Retract your statement with lavish excuses or something will happen Skinny87 can talk about. An encounter he won't forget.

- Leonard Ynsson, Minister of Defence

OOC: Next time, don't quote such large blocks of text for a 4 line reply.

OOC: Eh? Why am I being involved? I havent done a thing

Oh, wait. You mean I'll start telling people about you, like i did last time?

Meh.

Just don't attack me.

OOC: Not really, but I needed a point of reference. Perhaps I should make a list of nations I respect/disrepect. That would make roleplaying easier I reckon.

It'd be a short list, but that's besides the point.

IC:
Being drunk isn't an excuse for threatening us. Retract your statement with lavish excuses or something will happen Skinny87 can talk about. An encounter he won't forget.

- Leonard Ynsson, Minister of Defence

OOC: Next time, don't quote such large blocks of text for a 4 line reply.

[starting transmission]
Don't blame him, he just forgot to put the diplomatic surgar-coating on it! I find your policies repugnant, and your economy is going to suffer because of it. By the way, I gave Bjorn that booze.

-Emir Alex II

OOC: Still not entirely sure how to respond to this, it's nothing big as everyone have their own bravado statements to make, but there are still things to think about as always... if your nation doesn't respect anyone but it's allies, whats the deal with foriegn embassies? They usually operate on the idea that the nation they are placed in at the very least has enough space not to abuse them, so it's kinda touchy working out if Guffingford is still safe.

Oh, tag and edit if prefered.

Official Response from the New White House.


President Anderson laughs in your general direction at your arrogance and self-motivational talk.


(Yes this was a TAG)

Hoorah! I like camels!

- Official Statement from the Dyelli Beybian Minister of Foreign Affairs when asked if he felt Guffingford was a threat to the Revolution.

Yep Nation States is cruel sad world. Where dictators run the world and almost no one could or will stop them save newbie 8 million population nations. I wonder if there is a force out there that can stop them

OOC: I have only 2 embassies I believe. Russian Forces and Hogsweat. Allies too but they're good folk, I'd never harm them. Hog and RF have embassies merely for true RP purpose. I don't want to have embassies for people to (ab)use that boon of having a sovereign piece of land within my borders. Whenever there's a tense situation they appear to have NBC's all of a sudden or a complete army with MBT's and what-not.

IC:
"Guffingford does not care about statements made by Independent Hitmen or anyone else. There may be hostilities between us, but we're not the first yokels who declare war because of genocide on my behalf or excessive, not to mention ridiculous, (religious) freedoms or 'progressive' civil liberties such as gaymarriage, euthenasia* and abortion*. Now, before I tell you crawl back to your cave or your mommy's lap to cry I would like to take the oppertunity to say that Independent Hitmen is a barbaric nation we cannot take seriously, and refuse to take seriously."

Thank you, Ministry of Foreign Affairs Spokesperson.

*: Guffingford knows these two freedoms as well, but we'll be damned saying something about it because we hate being labelled as hypocrite.

Guffingford knows these two freedoms as well, but we'll be damned saying something about it because we hate being labelled as hypocrite.OOC: Would you mind if I RP pointing out ICly that your country does have these freedoms and that you are in fact being hypocritical?

I think it has some potential as a diplomatic situation, but I'd rather run it by you first.

Official Statement, Incorporated Sarzonian Government

We find it highly amusing that the government of so-called Free States of Guffingford, which laughably calls itself Benevolent in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, sees fit to release a statement of half-truths and blatant lies to the international community under the guise of advancing its false sense of superiority.

We find it especially fascinating that a country which publicly abhors "progressive" civil liberties such as euthanasia and abortion, yet codifies rights to both liberties in its system of laws. We believe such inherent hypocrisy in this form of double-speak illuminates the real truth about Guffingford: That they are nothing but a pack of lying, dishonourable fiends who care nothing about the truth when they seek to fill some hidden inadequacies in themselves.

Grant Haffner
Deputy Senior Vice President for External Affairs
Incorporated States of Sarzonia

Republican Statement

[I]This Republic's position on the nationstate of Guffingford and its government has been made abundantly clear and has not changed one iota. The nationstate of Guffingford is a corrupt, immoralistic government that makes its people slaves, kills billions, including several hundred thousand Republican citizens that have not been forgotten, and never will be, and billions of others, whilst under the guise of a 'Benevolent' government-type.

The hypocrisy and pure evil of Guffingford is well known, and perhaps one day this evil nation will be wiped out.

Emperor Offa of Elskede would like to publicly apologise to the nation of Guffingford for the war that took place between this nation (formerly known as Glemte Hage) and Guffingford, such war crimes on the part of our nation will never be repeated.

My, my........feeling kinda testy today, are we Guff?

OOC: Probably cos I made him a widdle pissy. ;)

oh, and HAHAHAHAHAHA

OOC: I have only 2 embassies I believe. Russian Forces and Hogsweat. Allies too but they're good folk, I'd never harm them. Hog and RF have embassies merely for true RP purpose. I don't want to have embassies for people to (ab)use that boon of having a sovereign piece of land within my borders.

OOC: So when were my people kicked out? We only talked about this like a couple months ago when my nation expressed concern over the whole Hogsweat affair and your nations social changes possibily affecting our diplomats... you never informed me that you had done anything with the Embassy to remove it, hell, you assured us that our people were safe.

Have things changed or have you just forgotten the fact we have an embassy in one anothers nations? I could provide links if it helps, but I'm surprised at this change.

The civil rights of the Pure People of Guffingford (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=410334)
Official Application (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=7009142&postcount=247)