NationStates Jolt Archive

The Office of Syncanor Affairs and the Office of Border Control wish to announce that Republic of Syncanor passports and visas are no longer valid. All outstanding Republic of Syncanor visas are cancelled.
Entry in to the Protectorate of Syncanor will now require the issuance of a Protectorate Special Entry Permit, which may be applied for at any Grand Duchy of Arpwat embassy or consulate. Be aware that there is a lengthy backlog of paperwork at the Office of Border Control, and Entry Permit applications may take several months to process, and there is no guarantee that an application will be approved.
Furthermore, all foreign nationals in the Protectorate of Syncanor who currently hold Republican visas have ten days to leave or to report to the Office of Syncanor Affairs in Frijbourg to apply for a Protectorate Special Entry Permit.
Persons found within the Protectorate without proper paperwork after the grace period will be subject to severe penalties.
These regulations shall not apply in the Tyrolian Zone.

Dateline, Kweebec, Ontarioh

Former Speaker of the People's Council, Ravenfeather Oakenbow surfaced today in Kweebec bearing a suitcase full of precious metals. Ms. Oakenbow
announced that she continues to be the legitimate head of state of the
Republic of Syncanor and pledged "to fight for as long as it takes to convince others to liberate my beloved land from under the cruel oppression of Arpwat and the Occupied Tyrol."

The Arpwati Director of Justice, William Von Poppels, immediately issued a demand that Ms. Oakenbow be extradited to Arwpat for trial as a war
criminal. "Ravenfeather Oakenbow is a wanted women. She will be tried and
convicted in a scrupulously fair and impartial trial of the charges of cowardice, for having fled the country while it was at war, and pillaging Arpwati property, as her suitcase full of gold was stolen from the treasury of Syncanor. Her craven act of cowardice also led to the extended shelling of Frijbourg, causing many extraneous deaths because we couldn't find anyone to surrender to us!"

Ministry of External Affairs
Director of Customs Canuckistan
Xavier des Porte

The Dominion of Nouveau Canuckistan must address the issue raised regarding those persons bearing Syncanor's former passport, commonly known as "Duck Papers." According to officials in Vieille Londres, no official of the Londrian Empire may accept the documents, and all those bearing said documents are to immediately report to the former Embassy of the Grand Duchy of Arpwat. We assure the world that the rumours of adbuction and forced-labour deals between the Londrian governement, the Arpwati government, and the Tyrolean government-in-exile are not only incredulous but totally poor economics.

As regards the transfer of funds from the Syncanori currency into the Canuckistani market is illegal and all those caught will be rehabilitated in one of our five-star rated retention centres. Furthermore Loonies and Duckies are no longer to be seen as interchangeable change and those caught with Duckies (or any other denomination) are to be counselled in matters pertaining to international relations and the realisation that Syncanor is no longer a soveriegn, free nation. (It may strike many odd as they realise that Syncanor is now in the same position we are.)

As regards other matters, we do apologise to The Disputed Territories of Free Skaane: Our Ministry of French Speakers is a pain, but don't worry; they don't speak English and I can say what I please.

Ministry of External Affairs
Military Affairs Board
Lieutenant-Colonel Garçon de Nansi

Nouveau Canuckistan must strenuously object to the Writ of Extradition given by the government of Arpwat. Ravenfeather Oakenbow entered the nation on a valid identification (a drivers license and birth certifcate), and is neither attempting to access public funds or extend her standard two year tourist visa. Her status as a former diplomatic personality is moot to our unsophisticated people, and her flannel shirts and dungarees only encourage those companies that manufacture our national costume. We cannot merely hand in someone of good character who fits our dominions vision of the perfect tourist. Her gold holdings are also beyond questioning. Although we have checked to ensure that she is carrying more than 500NC Dirt Clumps, and thus will not be stranded as a tourist here, she is beyond further examination unless she takes an income-bearing position, in which case, 97% would be Canuckistani revenues. We should mention that this is the largest amount of gold we've seen since we melted down the crucifixes, stars-of-David, and hijaab clips taken from public school children.

On orders from the Londrian government, our attempts at a Diplomatic Service will be in contact with other nations and negotiate to the best of our dubious abilities.

A slightly confused 800 pound gorilla was found outside the Office of Syncanor Affairs in Frijbourg earlier today. It had a note reading, in very ungrammatical Arpwatish, "Arpwatis go to houses! Syncanorian Popular Liberation Front" around its neck.
The Director of Syncanor Affairs, The Hon. Francis G. McDugan, said that the Arpwati Office of Investigation belives that the SPLF's notorious lack of spelling skills were behind the release of the gorilla, which was apparently stolen from the Frijbourg Municipal Zoo.
The gorilla is back in its enclosure at the zoo tonight.

Office of Diplomatic Relations
Minister of Affairs, Former Republic of Syncanor
Ambassador-at-Large Paul Corde-Lâche

The Canuckistani government wishes the Arpwati to please release our Minister of Education. Being drugged, kidnapped, and hairy is never fun, but we do not appreciate the zoo-ing incident.

Paul Corde-Lâche


Post-Script - We have your gorilla. You may wish to know that he is allergic to mayonnaise, HP sauce, and Kieth's ale, and approved a law making the wearing trousers optional in schools for the morbidly obese.

TO: Mr. Paul Corde-Lâche
Office of Diplomatic Relations
Minister of Affairs, Former Republic of Syncanor

FROM: The Hon. G Francis McDugan
Director, Office of Syncanor Affairs
1 Grand Duke Jacob Plaza (formerly People's Square)
Frijbourg
Protectorate of Syncanor FRN 3Z7

Sir,
We are deeply offended by the implication that somehow we kidnapped your minister of education, passed him to the SPLF and then put him in a zoo.
I can assure you that the creature in the Frijbourg Municipal Zoo's gorilla enclosure is most assuredly a 800 pound silverback gorilla, not your minister of education.
That it appears you have elected or appointed a gorilla to be your minister of education and have only now noticed, we regard this with mocking derision. It is especially sad that in a nation known solely for its consumption of watery beer, HP sauce, and mayonnaise you found a gorilla allergic to all three to be your minister of education.
Enclosed you will find a field guide to primates of the world, provided by our Office of Education. We hope that by reading this you will be able to distinguish Gorilla gorilla from Homo Sapiens in the future, thereby avioding embarrasing international incidents like this one. In addition, we are shipping an Arpwati three-toed sloth to you as our candidate for prime minister of Nouveau Canuckistan.

Ike C. Besitzen
Director, Canuckistani Affairs
Office of Diplomatic Relations
Rumodulopoli, Italy
(Kneckte-des-Italienern-Stadt, Tirol)

It is with great and hearty laughter that the Occupied Tyrol must acknowledge that the silent, hairy man with anger issues formerly known as J. Naelipa, Minister of Education, is in fact a primate. We take the word of our Arpwati allies in this affair, as well as their example. You will find on the Tirolluft flight to Canuckistan today a cage of an equally hairy species with anger management issues, albeit not a species known for their silence: the Italian.

Ike. C. Besitzen

Ravenfeather Oakenbow, the former Speaker of the People's Council of Syncanor, and wanted war criminal gave an impassioned speach to a somewhat bored audience at the Institute for Ineffectual Dithering, a prominent Nouveau Canuckistani liberal "think tank".

She pleaded for other nations to rise up and liberate Syncanor from what she called "the insane and oppressive tyranny of Arpwat and the Occupied Tyrol." Her speach was met with vigorous applause after she excluded Nouveau Canuckistan from her call for insurrection in Syncanor.

Ms. Oakenbow appeared before the institute carrying the Quacking Staff and the Talisman of Dreams, ancient symbols of Syncanor that were both looted from the Syncanor National Museum during the Three Days War.

A spokesman for the Arpwati government once again renewed the call for Ms. Oakenbow's extradition for cowardice and war crimes, adding this time a charge of looting in a time of crisis. "We have video survaillence of the break-in at the Syncanor National Museum in which Ms. Oakenbow's distinctive nose piercings can clearly be distinguished. Not only is she a craven coward and a war criminal, she is a petty thief as well!"

There has been no response from the Nouveau Canuckistan "government" thus far.

In other news, an informal poll of Nouveau Canuckistani tourists in Arpwat found that 63% would vote for Bruce, the Arpwati three-toed sloth running for Prime Minister. (Poll conducted by the Arpwat Office of Misinformation, Confusion, and Press Releases, Department of Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics)