NationStates Jolt Archive

Port Royal, Roycelandia

His Imperial Majesty Emperor Royce I has officially announced the results of the recent Imperial Elections, and is pleased to officially invite Sir James Brosnan, leader of the Centrist Party, to form a New Government.

The Election results gave the Centrist Party a comfortable 57% of the Imperial House of Parliament, with the Opposition being formed by the Progressive Party, with 32% of the Seats in the House.
The remaining 11% are made up of independents, minor parties, and, in a shock upset, The Silly Party managed to win two seats (the electorates of Dorque and Sodor), which has delicately upset the balance of power and will no doubt lead to some interesting debates, not to mention making Question Time a lot more interesting.

Commander Jack Sword has also been knighted for his tireless work towards Defending The Empire, and has announced that, from the end of this month he will retire from the Imperial Defence Command and instead take up a new position as the CEO of Imperial Armaments.

Commander Edmund Blackadder will take over as Commander In Chief of the Imperial Defence Forces at this time.

Air Commander James Bigglesworth remains in charge of the Imperial Air Force, and Admiral Ivan Tasman-Cook remains in charge of the Imperial Navy.

Flying Officer Leigh Evans of the Maritime Air Service has been promoted to Colonel after his gallant service in the Battle Of The Coral Sea and has been given the position of Governor-General of Franco-Roycelandian Polynesia during Roycelandia's 10 year mandate on the Islands.

Similarly, Jim Lister, son of Captain David Lister (commander of the IRNS Elliot Carver, sunk in the New Caledonia affray), has been made Baron Greenback and will be taking over as Governor-General of Southern Algeria.

Diplomatic Protocol personnel are again reminded that Roycelandia's National Anthem is The Journey Of The Sorcerer, and His Imperial Majesty Emperor Royce I's theme music is the Imperial March.

Further Medals, Promotions, Peerages, and Rewards for those involved in the New Caledonia Affray are being finalised now and will be made public in the near future...

A BUMP to ensure that the appropriate people get to see this...

OOC: What changes does this entail?

Well, it means that the Imperial Guard are now run by someone disturbingly close to the TV Blackadder (although without the unique sense of self-preservation).

In a recent interview, Commander Blackadder said "When I joined the Army, if you saw a man in a skirt you shot him and nicked his country", and has also described himself as "A Complete Bastard, by Imperial Appointment."

He is, however, well liked for his sharp wit and sense of humour.

The Governor-General of Southern Algeria is basically too overwhelmed to do anything too unorthodox, and the Governor-General of Franco-Roycelandian Polynesia is really only interested in having sex with every female aged 15-30 on the Islands and drinking lots of expensive island cocktails.

The election of The Silly Party to two seats will have effects not yet fully realised in the Parliament, but Roycelandian Parliamentary Politics rarely affect anything the Emperor plans on doing... so far.

The Quinntonian government continues to look on in fascination at the inner-workings of the Roycelandian political machine. The changes of our (physically) closest ally are front page news. The announcement of Blackadder's promotion is met with cheers, as he is incredibly popular within Quinntonia. After all, was it not his grabdfather in WWI that said, "War is something the Empire should be doing against people armed with spears, this botch job of going after people that can fight back will no doubt be the end to civilised fighting." Prophetic words indeed.
WWJD
Amen.

OOC: Just one issue...Aged 15 to 30...? Say, perhaps bump up that to 18 to 30? Don't want pedophilia scandals erupting in AMW...

It actually comes to many as a surprise to find out Roycelandia has elections and a Parliament, with an actual Opposition and everything.

More importantly, Roycelandia frequently DOES fight people carrying Spears and Shields- Lusakan Irregulars have attacked Roycelandian Troops in the past with Traditional Spears and Shields when they ran out of ammo, only to find that Cowhide really doesn't offer much protection against a 174gr FMJ .303 bullet...

OOC: Roycelandia's age of consent is 14, and always has been. It's worth bearing in mind that this AoC of 18 is a very American thing, and in most places in the world, it's 16.

I'd like to add for the record, of course, that I'm not a paedophile, and whilst I appreciate your concerns, it's worth bearing in mind that most 15 year old girls are more than capable of giving consent anyway.

Again, I don't condone sex with 15 year olds (unless you're 15 yourself), but this is an RP, and the new Governor-General really isn't doing anything unusual by Roycelandian standards himself- he's only 23, and in Roycelandia no-one would blink an eyelid at that sort of thing.

Of course, in RL a 23yo who had sex with a 15yo could reasonably expect to find themselves in prison, but I'll leave the morality of the whole issue for a different thread...

OOC: Well...if his "activities" become public, one can expect a cooling down of Russo-Roycelandian relations. Sorry Royce, but being a fifteen year old myself...Yeah.

Um...EEW. More than capable of giving consent? The brain hasn't even stopped developing until 25.
WWJD
Amen.

His activities aren't public- but they're not secret, either. It's a cultural thing- and remember, it doesn't necessarily reflect my own views on the subject.

AC, I was 15 once too... you really have to see the way girls in Australia and New Zealand behave at that age to see where I'm coming from.

But IC, The Governor-General of Southern Algeria has announced that he intends to search for Oil in the Desert, and perhaps a Quinntonian or Russian company would be interested in the contract?

Crazy Ivan Inc. , Russia's largest corporation that sells everything from candy to tanks and is run by the craziest man in Asia (hence the name) would be interested in sponsoring an Algerian expedition.

OCC: No Harry "Snapper" Organs? Good...

I think you might see Hindustani troops acting very silly in the near future, perhaps even conducting the war in an unwarlike fashion...

Quinntonian iol interests would piont to their track record of a complte lack of insanity, as part of their bid, that, and Royclandia is reminded that soon, we may need eachother as major trade partners like never before.
WWJD
Amen.

Crazy Ivan Inc. would point to it's...

"CRRRRAAAZZZY LOW PRICES! PRICES ARE SO LOW, THEY CRAZY! AS CRAZY AS MY GRANDMA EATING THIS PICKLED WALRUS! CRAAAAAAAAZZZZYY LOW! So COME ON DOWN, to CRAAAAZZZY IVAN'S USED CAR---erm, oil firm. Yes."

Imperial Petroleum and Mining have indicated that they would prefer Quinntonian assistance on this one, as they have experience and know-how.

However, Crazy Ivan's Discount Surveyors are welcome to come along and help chart the desert, provided the insanity is kept to a minimum, or at least inflicted on the Bedouin and Tuareg rather than the Roycelandians and Quinntonians who actually have work to do... :-P

Imperial Petroleum and Mining have indicated that they would prefer Quinntonian assistance on this one, as they have experience and know-how.

However, Crazy Ivan's Discount Surveyors are welcome to come along and help chart the desert, provided the insanity is kept to a minimum, or at least inflicted on the Bedouin and Tuareg rather than the Roycelandians and Quinntonians who actually have work to do... :-P
Thanx.
WWJD
Amen.

Imperial Petroleum and Mining have indicated that they would prefer Quinntonian assistance on this one, as they have experience and know-how.

However, Crazy Ivan's Discount Surveyors are welcome to come along and help chart the desert, provided the insanity is kept to a minimum, or at least inflicted on the Bedouin and Tuareg rather than the Roycelandians and Quinntonians who actually have work to do... :-P
"Experience and know how? I was born in the wastelands of Siberia! I found my first oil well when I was five years old, and drilled it with my bare hands! Of course, I didn't get much oil this way, but...We work for low price! And work is good! High quality!"

The short man known as Crazy Ivan bounced around angrily, as he sent his message to the Roiks.

Versailles flat refused any Quinntonnian Nationals on Algerian soil, said M. de Mesmer the anchor of RNN:

"If the yanks want to visit His Majesty's good friend Royce I's colony is Southern Algeria, by all means do so. However, no Quinntonnian Aircraft, Personnel, Vehicles, or Naval Craft will be allowed on, near, or over the Kingdom of Algeria. We suggest the Roycelandians use their own excellent Petrolium experts in this matter, perhaps even the British (needless to say the French have their own, quite good, surveyal corps), frankly any other rational choice besides Quinntonnia would suffice."

The annoucement no doubt comes in the wave of recent Quinntonnia slams of His Majesty and His Government, most notably Quinntonnian threats of Caledonia defending itself against the Igovians and the Obeds flat denial of French use of the Panama Canal. France has no ire against Quinntonnia, but she will never ever call that land anything remotely resembling a friend.

The Imperial Government, after much toing and froing, has simply decided to open the Oil Exploration and Drilling contracts to anyone who wants them, with priority to ImPetroCo, France, UE, Britain, and Quinntonia. Crazy Ivan is quite welcome to try and drill for oil too, if he likes...

Versailles flat refused any Quinntonnian Nationals on Algerian soil, said M. de Mesmer the anchor of RNN:

"If the yanks want to visit His Majesty's good friend Royce I's colony is Southern Algeria, by all means do so. However, no Quinntonnian Aircraft, Personnel, Vehicles, or Naval Craft will be allowed on, near, or over the Kingdom of Algeria. We suggest the Roycelandians use their own excellent Petrolium experts in this matter, perhaps even the British (needless to say the French have their own, quite good, surveyal corps), frankly any other rational choice besides Quinntonnia would suffice."

The annoucement no doubt comes in the wave of recent Quinntonnia slams of His Majesty and His Government, most notably Quinntonnian threats of Caledonia defending itself against the Igovians and the Obeds flat denial of French use of the Panama Canal. France has no ire against Quinntonnia, but she will never ever call that land anything remotely resembling a friend.

OOC-I am actually shocked. I never saw this coming at all.

The Quinntonian government immediately sends a missive to Versialles, stating that
i)Quinntonia did condemn the attacks on New Caledonia as illegal.
ii)Quinntonia only refused access to the Panama Canal because there exists no formal alliance with France. France was in no way singled out by this action, only NATO nations would ever get access.
iii)This is only a trade deal, there are no plans for any Quinntonian military personel. This would be contracted out to private enterprise.
iv)Quinntonia, and Jesse Obed himself apolagises to His Most Christian Majesty if he or anyone in his government has offended the king. It was never the intention of the Quinntonian people or government to do so.

In the meantime, many Quinntonian oil compamnies are bidding, from Haliburton to Imperial Oil.

WWJD
Amen.

Versailles, recieving an apology from Jesse Obed himself, and considering the apology sincere, recants its objection to Quinntonnian personnel in Algeria.

Several expeditions lead by the insane bald midget known as Crazy Ivan have already begun preparing for the trek to the desert...