NationStates Jolt Archive


Goblinball-al-al-al!!!

Blood Moon Goblins
10-05-2005, 02:19
Returning to Gundabad, for some sports action...

Nerk glared down the field at the opposing teams runners, adjusted his steel helmet for the final time, said a short prayer, and crouched to receive the intitial rush.
Around him similar pre-game rituals were taking place as Goblins adjusted the bits of armour around various pieces of their anatomy. The two blockers, in full plate, tightened the straps on their large shields and scuffed the ground for traction.
FWWWWEEEEEEE!!!!
A small, round, metallic object flies about ten feet into the air, over the heads of the blocking team as the twelve Goblins on the opposite side rush forward. There are no rules, Goblins dont generaly understand long words like "foul" very well, aside from "Get the ball to the other side", and usualy the referees just let fights sort themselves out.
The blockers, selected for their height and weight, moved suprisingly quickly to stop the other teams runners, the 'lightweight' Goblins whose job was to get the ball to the other goal, but were met by the other teams blockers, soon a small brawl ensued and both teams were left without defence.
The entire arrangement was rather pointless though, becuase the ball exploded on impact.
The crowd groaned as the surviving blockers picked themselves up while those that couldnt were dragged away. Blockers tended to have short careers.
Goblinball is possibly the only ball game where the players wear metal armour and use an explosive ball.
A new ball was secured and placed in the middle of the field while the Red team was docked one point for losing the ball. After the round of taunting from the crowd died down the referee blew the whistle again.
FWWWWEEEEEEE!!!
This time Nerk was at the head, snatching the ball and using one of the opposing blockers as a ramp, he quickly jumped over the main melee and fled for his life towards the Red goal. Around the halfhalfline Nerk realized something was wrong.
His thoughts might be explained as such:
1. Nobody is chasing me.
2. I seem to have left part of my foot behind
Many. Why is this ball warm and twitching?
Lots. What is dripping down my arm?
He looked down.
The mildly alarmed features of one of his fellow Blue teammates stared up at him, one of the throwers (a career even shorter than the Blockers, usualy) as he recalled.
Nerk looked back at the Blue goal, just in time to see the Red team cross it, but lose half of their points because one of their players had brought a weapon into the arena.
Nerk lost conciousness at this point, mostly due to blood loss, but also because the Blue supporters were throwing rocks at him.
---
Goblinball is played like this:
Two teams (sometimes more, but not in official matches and only on weekdays) attempt to get a ball filled with unstable explosives into the opposite teams goal.
From there on in rules are usualy up to the arenas owner.
The most popular version uses a team of twelve, two Blockers (who attempt to stop the other teams runners), two throwers (who throw the ball if needed), four Fighters (Who act as a sort of distraction, trying to get other teammembers into a fight) and four Runners (Who attempt to get the ball into the other teams goal)
Points are scored like this:
6 points for running the ball into the other teams goal
4 points for runnning the ball into the other teams goal while retaining at least %50 of your body mass
3 points for throwing it in
1 point for running the ball into the opposing goal while retaining less than %50 of your body mass.

Teams usualy wear armour, especialy the blockers who tend to get exploded at alot, runners wear lots of side/arm armour, but little elsewhere.
The crowd is usualy protected by being at least twenty feet above the field, or not at all. Goblinball purists say that this adds to the excitement of the game.

There arent many human Goblinball teams, mostly because Humans are usualy somewhat reticent to run down a field holding unstable high explosives, but also becuase the Goblin teams are usualy more vicious due to the fact that Goblins dont assume any rules, while Humans seem to think that things like "Do not set fire to your opponents" are a givin.
Silly pinkskins.

Of course, any Human teams are welcome to play. Goblins LIKE to play against Humans.

(OOC:
Anybody is welcome to join provided you are capable of writing multi-line posts in a consistent fashion, can spell 'the', and know that godmodding rules and such apply to sports as well.
Consider it a 'Squad level action".)
Blood Moon Goblins
10-05-2005, 02:41
*sigh*
Leafanistan
10-05-2005, 03:06
I love it if that makes you feel any better.
Concador
10-05-2005, 03:07
ooc-is this RP completely Goblinball? BTW, w/o rules it's kinda hard to RP
Blood Moon Goblins
10-05-2005, 03:10
OOC:
Thanks Leafanistan :)

There are rules...just not many. In theory your not supposed to use weapons, you cant leave the arena, so on and so forth.
The Bone Mother
10-05-2005, 03:19
[OOC: What sort of information do you want from the teams? I am very interested.]
Blood Moon Goblins
10-05-2005, 03:53
OOC:
None is needed really, I have no idea what sort of stats you would need for this sport, I mean, its sort of...differnt :P
Camel Eaters
10-05-2005, 04:04
OOC: Wait wait wait...........you mean The Bone Mother and Blood Moon Goblins in the same thread? At the same time! Ripping things to shreds for the fervor of the people! I'M IN!!!!!!
Vastiva
10-05-2005, 04:08
[OOC: We want broadcast rights. Badly. No, make that "badly enough to shell out for, oh, five or six teams. Moneywise. We aren't going to send people to get eaten, but we'll buy the stuff you beat them with. In quantity. And build a nice stadium. Or six."

Deal?]
The Bone Mother
10-05-2005, 04:49
Statement from the Czech Fiefdom
Dominion of the Voivode of Prague
The Warlord of the Old World
A most... Interesting event has happened within the fiefdom, and it has come to my attention to do something of it. News of this goblinball has reached the borderlands of the Bone Mother's fief, and a rowdy gang of brigands has demanded that the Voivode send this rowdy group to go and face the Blood Moon's goblinball team. Now, we would normally have been a little more severe in our punishment of this outright disrespect of the sanctity of the Voivode's manse, but we think this a good opportunity to at least begin some sort of interaction outside the Fiefdom. The Voivode has informed me that he is willing to accept this.

The band that is interested in playing against the Blood Moon Goblins are made up mostly of Bone goblins, a ferocious form of your kin. They are very voracious and gaunt, which accounts for their name. You will find them to be disagreeable, bad-tempered, avaricious, and disreputable, but I don't believe this to be a problem. However, also including eclecticly are a few bugbears, brutes whom are essentially slaves of the goblins in our society, and a enterprising, often drunk troll, of the kind that you may be unfamiliar with, captains and coaches this incompetent pack of miscreants.

Mind taking them off our hands?

Master Chamberlain Grigori Rasputin
Chancellor and Minister to the Voivode of the Czech Fiefdom
http://img72.echo.cx/img72/3126/jhrasputina4hk.jpg
Blood Moon Goblins
10-05-2005, 15:28
(ooc:
Was that IC or OOC Vastiva?
Anyway, broadcast away, the Goblins wont mind but it might get expensive camera wise ;)
Im not really sure how you would make a GB statium that would qualify to Human saftey standards, I mean, theres the issue of shrapnel and...parts. And the noise. But if you can build six large, soundproof, flying-parts-proof, shrapnel proof, stadium...more power to you :P
Or you could do what we did and put the entire affair in a twenty foot deep pit with big steel doors on it and let the crowd sort out saftey itself.)
BTW, Bone Mother, Ive heard good things about you. Look forward to sharing a bit of gore :)

IC:
[i]Ah, Trolls...we are somewhat familiar with those, 'though around here they tend to be primitive and violent, more so than most Goblins that is. Bugbears we dont know of, this may be interesting.
Anyway, this is perfectly acceptable. Gundabad airport is prepared to receive this team and quarters are being made ready close to the official arena.
When told of this event our own state team, a crowd of Grey Wolf Goblins, who are more Orcish than anything, grinned rather widely and cracked their knuckles repeatedly.
Unfourtunatly none of the local teams will play against them anymore due to an...incident some months ago where the team used one of the referees as a club.
This had to be allowed, because there was no rule against using weapons already in the arena. Later this was added to the official rules in case it became popular.

Everybody Else:
Recently eight camera platforms were installed in the Gundabad Stadium, which might, if you were willing to crowd, fit two cameras each, assuming standard sized news cameras.
The positions are free, but youll have to pay for tickets, which might get rather expensive soon. Security has been informed that camera-holders take priority over non-camera-holders on the platforms and will remove anybody without one if asked to do so.
Concremo
10-05-2005, 16:56
The Nation of Concremo will consider sending a self-assembled team of 12 ex-military convicts. We have already constructed gladiatorial arenas in our cities, and have decided to make Goblinball an official sport, although 1 vs 1 matches are the most popular.

The team was disheartened at the lack of weapons, and four raids on their lockers have revealed several concealable handguns, a few combat knives and even a foldable assault rifle. If any mysterious packages have been posted to the away teams dressing room, please dispose of accordingly.

We would also like to fill the empty transport with angry goblins for the Arenas in our nation. We mainly do 1 vs 1 or 2 vs 2, but plans for some rather interesting team games have been drawn up.

OOC: we want in, and will let you stain the walls of our arenas in exchange.

in our arenas, combatants start with a combat knife and a single handgun, and other weapons are hidden around. There are no rules, two go in and one comes out. The other is scraped off the ceiling later, or left to rot as a decoration.

EDIT: knocked up a floor plan of a concremo arena, if anyone cares...

http://www.freewebs.com/concremo/arena.htm
Blood Moon Goblins
11-05-2005, 00:43
It is good to see that the sport of Goblinball is getting around.
We are, however, astonished and dismayed that a fellow member of the international community wants to pack a transport full of our citizens off to their nation to be massacred.
Your team is welcome to participate in the games though, however using weapons is strongly discouraged and crowds can get...violent if they feel the rules are being violated without intent to entertain.

OOC:
I doubt that it would be purely Goblin blood staining your arenas. There is a certain practical aspect to the normal suicidal insanity, generaly it can be expresed as 'If Im gonna die, Im gonna take alot of people with me'.
Blood Moon Goblins
11-05-2005, 02:29
Blood Moon Goblins is happy to announce that instructors are avalible for international training of Goblinball Teams, as well as methods for the production of armour and balls.
Stadiud suggestions are avalible as well, construction would best be handled by local contractors though.
Vastiva
11-05-2005, 08:52
(Broadcast on V-SPAN Channel 3009, afternoon broadcast following the 65-28 victory in Full Contact Chess of the Azore Anacondas over the Spanish Flies)


And with that – could it be… yes! YES! The REF declares checkmate as the paramedics are pulling Brewster off the field!

Let’s hear it for the Anaconda’s!

~wild cheering!~

That’s right, sports fans! If it involves ball, bat, or blade, you’ll see it here on V-SPAN, Channel 3009 – which is also the number of sports we’re covering!

What, not enough for you? Alright – listen in, fans, because we’re only going to be saying this… a couple of hundred times an hour!

In an exclusive contract with Blood Moon Goblins, V-SPAN has acquired sole broadcast rights – that’s right, you heard it here first and spit on VNN! – V-SPAN has acquired sole broadcast rights for the entire Goblinball season! That’s right, if you want to see goblins, if you want to see blood, if you want to see guts, if you want to see what all the hype is about - you have to see it here, first, LIVE and in FULL STEREO SURROUNDSOUND (where available)!

We’ve gone to the trouble of constructing six – that’s right SIX – Goblinball arenas, complete with the latest in high-tech armor plating, Tri-D cameras, surroundsound pickups, and each with no fewer then seven dine in buffet restaurants – all just so YOU could watch GOBLINBALL on V-SPAN!!!

BE HERE – OR BE LUNCH!



OOC: Nuclear weapons couldn't take out those stadiums on direct hits, and the ferrocrete bays will be able to repair damage damned fast. Five of the six stadiums seat five-hundred thousand each, the last seats one-point-six-five million people and is the "GRAND GOBLINARIUM!".

We have exclusive rights to broadcast so nyah! Of course, you can buy rights from us to broadcast - anywhere but Vastiva. Just put a VSPAN sign in the lower corner. Cheesiness is fine.
Blood Moon Goblins
11-05-2005, 15:26
OOC:
"Sole broadcast rights" in your country, correct?
That was my understanding.

IC:
BMG is proud to announce that it will be sending twelve full Goblinball teams to Vastiva, fully equipped and ready to deal with anybody who wants to take them on, if there isnt anybody, well, they can play each other.
King Krark pushed the first Goblinball into the arena with a thrity foot pole, begining the official Goblinball season in the Blood Moon Area.
(See new topic)

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=8857822#post8857822
Vastiva
12-05-2005, 07:03
OOC:
"Sole broadcast rights" in your country, correct?
That was my understanding.

IC:
BMG is proud to announce that it will be sending twelve full Goblinball teams to Vastiva, fully equipped and ready to deal with anybody who wants to take them on, if there isnt anybody, well, they can play each other.
King Krark pushed the first Goblinball into the arena with a thrity foot pole, begining the official Goblinball season in the Blood Moon Area.
(See new topic)

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?p=8857822#post8857822

OOC: Not building them in my country, built them in yours. Mine is currently under meters of snow, and a hurricaine.
Blood Moon Goblins
12-05-2005, 14:39
OOC:
Blah :P
Anyway, GO TO THAT LINK!
POOOOOOSSST!
I command it with my gobliny-powers of doooooooommm!
Blood Moon Goblins
13-05-2005, 03:17
...
Daistallia 2104
26-05-2005, 17:53
To His Royal Higness, King Krark,

Your majesty, we represent DSE, a Daistallian sports and entetainment consortium. DSE is interested in arranging an exhibition tour of Goblinball teams and games in Daistallia 2104. Please contact us at your conveniece.

D. Haek, and Sons