NationStates Jolt Archive

~From the desk of Lord Damien the Destroyer, Supreme Warlord of the Excessively Armed Empire of Automagfreek~

Citizens and friends of Automagfreek, people of the world,

It is on this day that I am proud to announce that several changes have been made to Automagfreek's Defense Department. First and foremost, I am here to announce that Mr. Samuel Jackson has been fired and replaced by a Freek from the western tribes, known as Marv Bonesplitter. He comes from the Bonesplitter Tribe, whos long and blood soaked history dates back to the forging of the First Empire under Dictator Automagfreek. Long has his house commanded loyaly and fear among its peoples, and I am honored to have him serve as AMF's Defense Chairman.

He is here today to outline his new directive for Automagfreek's defense policy, to which I have given my blessing.

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---Damien the Destroyer---
-Supreme Warlord of AMF-

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thank you Lord Dreadfire, it is my honor to serve you in this office, and I will not disappoint you like Mr. Jackson did, time and time again.

I will now outline the new defense policy for Automagfreek. This policy has been carefully thought out by myself, and will not be altered in any way by anyone other that Lord Dreadfire or myself.

Article 1: Homeland defense

Automagfreek will increase its defense spending yet again by several hundred billion per fiscal year. This includes the purchase of:
High tech shoreline artillery: There will be newer shoreline defenses put into place, the most notable being very large 'rail driver' like cannons. The cannons will be housed underground to disguise their mammoth bodies, as the barrel length will be roughly 112 feet. Using dedicated power sources, we will be able to fire rocket assisted, satellite guided projectiles weighing slightly more than 2000 pounds upwards of 85 miles, a significant difference over our current shoreline artillery.


OOC: Before comments on this are made: No, I don't care if it isn't cost effective. No, I don't care if YOU think it's not practical, and no I don't care what the upkeep cost is (including staff costs, ammo, barrel repair, etc). If you try to argue this with me, I can only say you'll be wasting your breath. So do me a favor, don't clog this thread up with argument over these cannons. This is not real life.


More powerful and longer range SAM sites: Automagfreek already has a vast network of anti-air defenses, and we will be increasing these SAM sites by 15%. We will also be placing more advanced radar stations around the country, and the bulk of the station will be hidden underground. The parts of the station that stick out of the ground will be disguised to the best of our ability.


New armor: Automagfreek, in collaboration with The Resi Corporation, have been developing new tanks and other armored vehicles. Our first new infantry support vehicle, the 'Hellhound' is expected to enter service soon. We will also be building new main battle tanks and mobile artillery, all outfitted with the latest and greatest in Resi Corp. technology.


Naval and air force: These were already upgraded in the previous years, and with the addition of the 'Sentinel' Super Dreadnought and other fast attack craft, we are pretty much done with our navy for now. Our air force has also been upgraded and fine tuned as well, and will not be subject to this years changes.

Article 2: Provocation

Automagfreek has always had a "don't fuck with us, we won't fuck with you" policy. This policy still holds true, but will be enforced on an even greater scale. The Excessively Armed Empire will NOT be pushed around under any circumstance, and those that test the resolve of Lord Dreadfire will pay a very dear cost, one that said party cannot afford. Automagfreek shall be forced into action for the following reasons:



Direct attack on AMF assets both at home and abroad.
Intrusion into AMF territory on land, sea, or air by any hostile force or hostile force in disguise. Intrusions into AMF territory will result in one warning, and if that warning goes unheeded then said intruder will be destroyed.
Direct attack on an ally of the Excessively Armed Empire or an alliance to which the Excessively Armed Empire is a member of. If an ally of ours falls under attack, we will assit them per their instruction on a level to be determined by them. AMF has a long standing policy of never abandoning an ally unless told by them not to get involved.
Defiance of treaties and or agreements made between Automagfreek and a second party.
Sanctions, embargos, and blockades on Automagfreek or its regional allies on Gholgoth.

This list is subject to change with or without notice.

Article 3: Procedure

The AMF military will conduct itself on a level that is determined by its opposition. If chemical, biological, or nuclear weapons are used, the Empire will take appropriate steps to not only retalliate on a higher level, but it will also ensure that attacks of this nature are not commited again. If civilian sectors are being used as hideouts for hostile forces, said territory will be considered hostile and treated as such. If civilians choose to resist any AMF military element, all civilians will be considered hostile and will be treated as such. If AMF personnel are captured and tortured, we will capture and torture 10 times as many. If AMF personnel are killed or have genocide commited against them, we will kill 100 times as many of the enemy in a most unspeakable manner.

This is the new policy of Automagfreek. Like it or not, the actions of AMF forces will be a direct reflection of the tactics used by our enemies. What is the best way to avoid being on the receiving end of this policy? Stay out of our business, and we will stay out of yours.

This is the new outlined agenda of Automagfreek's military. Any and all items in this outline may be subject to change with or without notice. The above items have been reviewed and approved by Lord Dreadfire, and will be carried out to the letter.


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Marv Bonesplitter
-Department of Defense Chairman-

i have been honored to serve as head of the AMF Defense Department since the rule of President Thomas Kaye, and although I am deeply saddened to lose this position, I am glad that I will not be totally out of the loop.

Lord Dreadfire has decided to keep me in the Defense Department as a consultant to Mr. Bonesplitter. I have many years of experience under my belt, and Damien knows that even now I am an asset to Automagfreek and its defense.

I look forward to working with our allies as I always have, and I look forward to assisting Mr. Bonesplitter in his quest to make Automagfreek a safer place.

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Samuel Jackson
-Department of Defense-

This fiscally smart and diplomatically mature policy will ensure the success of AMF for years to come. I give my personal commendation and wish all three men - Signore Jackson, Signore Bonesplitter and Signore Damien - the best of luck in working to format their outstanding military forces to the new capacities, regulations and systems. Godspeed to our allies.

Timothy Ell
Prime Minister

Bump

To: Whom it May Concern
Automagfreek
From: Tiberius Polax, MP
Foreign Secretary
Subject: Defence Policy

This well balanced, reasonable and responsible policy is worthy of recognition in a world where emergent nations are threatened with destruction merely for posessing weapons which are found universally across the aggressor nations. It was, however, with some alarm that we read that embargos and sanctions against Automagfreek or her allies would be classed as an act of war. The choice of whom to trade with is, in our opinion, an inalienanable sovereign right of every nation, and we think it inadvisable to unrealistic to expect to be able to force trade through military means. Regardless, we are sure that this will be worked out in time, making this an excellent policy which other nations should review carefully when deciding their own defence policy.

Vox Populi, Vox Dei

To: Whom It May Concern
Automagfreek
From: Mike Sarzo
President, Sarzonia
Subject: Foreign Policy

While we have tacitly approved of your foreign policy ventures in the past (in particular, your doctrine so explicitly expressed with "don't fuck with us, we won't fuck with you"), I must express my government's displeasure with your declaration that economic sanctions or embargoes are considered an act of war against Automagfreek. Often, those measures are levied in lieu of committing sons and daughters to the battlefields and risking the lives of untold millions of people.

We agree with your assessment of a naval blockade as an act of war; however, we urge you to reconsider your declaration of economic sanctions as such. Had we invoked a similar policy, I seriously doubt our economic health would be much greater than a third world country's.

And once more, the world falls one iota more into the awaiting darkness that lurks within human nature, Automagfreek is obviously ready to embrace the black destiny that awaits us when morals and society fail us and the decadent soul takes priority over stability and war becomes a way of life rather than a notable incident.

The title that you hold tells us of your warlike nature and it proves you do not intend to have a peaceful reign, to the contrary, it seems you lust for war just as much as a slave lusts for freedom.

Any chance you once had for a peaceful reign was shattered when you decided to go on the bloody thirsty crusade: Operation Brimstone. The name of that certain conflict is ironic, considering you pushed us once bit closer to the place that brimstone resides.

You are being watched Damien.

From,

The Oligarch of Kriegorgrad, Comrade Leader Nikolai Fedorenkov

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Your ignorance is about as sad as your inability to stop living in the past.

The house of Dreadfire is overseen by my father, Damien. When he rose to power, he took up an ancient mantle of 'Warlord' from our ancestors that fought to unify the land that would one day be Automagfreek. Such leaders as Warlord Rising Sun and Warlord Automagfreek (before going on to become AMF's first leader, Dictator Automagfreek) are direct descendants of Damien's, and the house of Dreadfire is honored to continue on the legacy of our forefathers.

This does not mean under any circumstance that AMF has a policy of nothing but war, and the agenda outlined by Marv clearly shows that. Though you may still be sour about Operation: Brimstone, we however, have moved on. We do not live in the past as clearly you do, we look forward to a brighter tomorrow and do not let actions that have already been written in the book of life determine how we live this day.

To call Damien a warmonger based on his inherited title is inane and uneducated. To all Damien a warmonger based on past actions that were spurred by others in the first place, is inane and uneducated.

Please take a breif moment to educate yourself, and stop living in the past.

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Silvia Dreadfire

*Tag*

Official Response

"Though we despise our National Socialist ways of the past and their arrogant way of commenting on such happenings, we see no reason not to do that this time. Guffingford laughs at Automagfreek. Their outdated navy consisting of a few steamboats and their Sentinel dreadnaught. Hah! A few old galleons from a museum taped and welded together, ten weatherballoons with a few half dead sentinels hung on to and a land army who gained their 'experience' from several paintball courses.

Now, when big people are talking little girls know when to keep their mouth shut. I expect nothing less from you, or your father or husband or whatever relative he is of you. We don't care, and we expect you not to care because our ways are vastly superior over yours. I mean, our nation is a structured, organised piece of machinery while yours still runs on tribes, heathen witchcraft, shamanism and other forms of paganism. You have no laws, no honour. I don't see why nations fear you. Oh, I understand. You happened to pick the right enemies, at the right time. It's all a matter of planning. Warlords, hah! Who uses the term 'Warlord' these days? Uncivilized nations. Barbaric nations. Nations who have outgrown their own borders, but lack the knowledge and know-how to run a country.

Fairy tales and a lot of nonsense, that's what Guffingford calls Automagfreek in a nutshell."

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- Johan Gleighmont, President & Chancellor of the Allied States of Guffingford.

You repeatedly insult our intelligence despite Kriegorgrad's stability, a fully functioning society that is far more than the sum of its parts, whereas you, what are you? By all logic, you should be in anarchy, you have warlords and doubtless a lot of other tribal titles to suit your uncouth culture, based on blood and strength. Your people value someone who can kill rather than one who can lead and think, this simply proves you are, in a social sense, trapped in the dark ages of humanity, an era Kriegorgrad left behind long ago.

Your society is trapped in filth, nowhere near the pinnacle of stability and excellence that Kriegorgrad has ascended to, while our society grows better each day, yours falters one bit more, falling back into the primordial soup that spawned the brutish ape men you so obviously resemble. So go now harlot, I'm sure you have patrons waiting for you on your doorstep and many more awaiting you in the hellholes; devoid of morals, that you call cities.

From,

The Oligarch of Kriegorgrad, Comrade Leader Nikolai Fedorenkov

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Official Response

"Though we despise our National Socialist ways of the past and their arrogant way of commenting on such happenings, we see no reason not to do that this time. Guffingford laughs at Automagfreek. Their outdated navy consisting of a few steamboats and their Sentinel dreadnaught. Hah! A few old galleons from a museum taped and welded together, ten weatherballoons with a few half dead sentinels hung on to and a land army who gained their 'experience' from several paintball courses.

Now, when big people are talking little girls know when to keep their mouth shut. I expect nothing less from you, or your father or husband or whatever relative he is of you. We don't care, and we expect you not to care because our ways are vastly superior over yours. I mean, our nation is a structured, organised piece of machinery while yours still runs on tribes, heathen witchcraft, shamanism and other forms of paganism. You have no laws, no honour. I don't see why nations fear you. Oh, I understand. You happened to pick the right enemies, at the right time. It's all a matter of planning. Warlords, hah! Who uses the term 'Warlord' these days? Uncivilized nations. Barbaric nations. Nations who have outgrown their own borders, but lack the knowledge and know-how to run a country.

Fairy tales and a lot of nonsense, that's what Guffingford calls Automagfreek in a nutshell."

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- Johan Gleighmont, President & Chancellor of the Allied States of Guffingford.


For a nation that supposedly does not care one bit about Automagfreek or what we do, you certainly make it a point to stick your nose in our business on an almost daily basis. This suggests that the Guffingford authority suffers from a severe case of jealousy, and your repeated statements of 'we don't care, we don't care' remind me of a 3 year old crying in the corner because mommy did not buy them the toy they wanted. Your constant 'reminders' to us that you don't care are a laughable attempt to disguise the jealousy that has befallen Guffingford and its leaders.

You insult our military constantly, but you have yet to stand up to it. This simple fact alone kills any and all argument you may have, as it is easy for you to squawk from the sidelines. But until you sprout a pair and step up to the table, do silence yourself.

Automagfreek's navy has been rebuilt and refurbished, and with the addition of the 'Sentinel' Super Dreadnought, AMF is now more than ever a force to be reckoned with at sea. Our military is in the best shape of its life, and we as a people have been turning empires to dust long before cartographers even heard of Guffingford or its territories. Our Empire has seen the rise and fall of many a nation such as Guffingford, and it will only be a matter of time until your nation becomes just another faded chapter in the history of mankind, forgotten and lost to all. Automagfreek is eternal.

Until the nation of Guffingford actually makes good on its delusions of grandeur, do shut up already.

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Silvia Dreadfire

Sanctions, embargos, and blockades on Automagfreek or its regional allies on Gholgoth.

Am I to understand, then, that simple refusal to engage in trade with Automagfreek is considered an act of hostility?

Sophia Kahler
Secretary of Foreign Affairs

Am I to understand, then, that simple refusal to engage in trade with Automagfreek is considered an act of hostility?

Sophia Kahler
Secretary of Foreign Affairs


Negative, however using trade as a weapon against the Empire will not be tolerated. Nations are free to sever trade with us, however if it is turned around to hurt us, we will act accordingly.

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John Kimble
-AMF Information Ministry-