Fluffywuffy
29-04-2005, 00:55
Emperor Victor Ramius lay in bed, unable to move. His right hand clutched futilely at his chest, seeking to end the intense pain that pulsated there. A desperate plea for a guard or God or something did nothing to change his fate; as soon as a guard entered the room, the old Emperor had fallen asleep, never to wake. For better or worse, Emperor Victor Ramius of the Second Empire of Fluffywuffy had passed, and an era had ended. The bodyguard that entered the room simply stood there, eyes wide and jaw open, so shocked and helpless he was paralyzed. Eventually he snapped out of it and called a medic, only to find that his leader was dead; he thought, wrongly, that it was his inaction that killed the leader, and the medic’s reassurances could not shake this thought.
The guard was Jason McCall, a tall, red-headed brute with contradictory soft, warm eyes. He was of the Imperial Holy Guards Army, a band of warrior-priests who defended the Emperor. He had failed his Emperor, and had not even given him the sacrament of Extreme Unction. To not help him live was bad enough, but to not give him the sacrament. . . . The thought sent shivers down Jason’s spine. Would he go to hell for this? God was a merciful god, and surely he would have mercy on him, for he had not even done anything wrong. But Jason thought--knew--that he had gravely sinned, and just then a thought popped into his head: I must do penance for my sins.
Jason walked down the winding corridors of the Imperial Palace, where he approached Cardinal/General John Davis, leader of the Holy Guards Army and representative of the ex-Emperor in the Rexicum Catholic Church. The Rexicum Catholic Church was centered in Rexicum, Fluffywuffy’s capital city, and had almost 3.2 billion members. The shamed warrior-priest approached the simple old cardinal, where he handed in his necklace, the symbol of the Holy Guards. The Cardinal accepted the necklace without question; whatever troubles this young man had must have been great for him to leave the most honorable posting in the Empire.
Now freed of his marriage to the State, Jason marched outside the walled fortress that was the Imperial Palace and strolled into the aptly named Square of Martyrs. The square’s name was derived from the fact that the earliest Christians in Fluffywuffy were killed in the square for both the Emperor’s and the crowd’s pleasure. A stone platform still stood where the martyrs met their ill ends, and Jason climbed onto this, ruining the pictures of several tourists and causing many random passerbys to turn in his direction out of curiosity. At that very instant, the ground shook violently, throwing people off their feet and lifting the platform a few inches off the ground. Jason read this sign as a blessing from God. The earthquake sent virtual waves sailing high into the sky in the people’s minds, and they would not crash for a long time, building strength the entire time.
Jason raised his arms into the air, calling for attention and quiet. A small voice in his head commanded him to cease and desist, but he dismissed it as the voice of Satan. “My fellow children of God, I shall tell you of one event that I find to be an instrument of God’s work. Our great Emperor, that great man of God, is dead, and someone must take his place. He left no children or wife; as a man of God, he stayed pure his entire life. He blessed us with the choice to choose a new leader after his death, entrusting us to choose someone who glorifies God. But those who seek the highest office are neither capable of the job nor men of God. I believe God sent me a sign--that earthquake--and a few other clues about what I--we--must do. We must appoint Pontiff Anacletus II as Emperor, and he must transform the Second Empire into the Holy Empire--an Empire ruled not by laws of men but by the commandments of God. Should we fail, I believe, we will lose touch with our God and be consumed in hellfire. So I beseech you, fellow children of God, to follow me in glorifying God’s name by appointing the Pontiff as ruler. And should the sinners and infidels elect someone else, we must topple that unbeliever by force, just as Jesus Himself toppled the tables of the moneychangers. . . .”
Jason rambled on, growing more and more confident with each passing moment. He noticed some members of the crowd began cheering, others yelling obscenities, and yet others showing an unusual apathy. By now, television news crews set up shop in the square to tell the world of the events. But as the speech labored on, more in the crowd cheered and showed determination on their faces. The finale of Jason’s slapdash speech included a large round of applause from a now massive crowd and a thunderous cascade of boos from protestors on the other end of the square, including everything from Jews, Muslims, Communists, and the KK, and other Christians. Jason confidently strolled down an open path in the crowd, walking toward his home to pray to God for giving him strength.
_________
In the various political capitals of the various political parties vying to get their candidate for Emperor elected, Father Jason McCall represented a major obstacle. Most of Fluffywuffy was of the Rexicum Catholic Church, and the current pontiff was a very popular African man with moderate views on church teachings. Even non-believers respected the man due to his excellent debating skills, personal modesty (he chose not to live as a modern price, but more in keeping with a priest), and undying devotion to the Gospel. And so various committees met, and the political parties met with the media. They shook hands and decided that the world must know of events in Fluffywuffy, for world opinion might turn the tide in the upcoming election.
Broadcasting on international television, hundreds of reporters from Fluffywuffy blasted both Father McCall, the Pontiff, and anything even remotely related as fanatics, crusaders, and oppressors. The favorite line to attack was, “And should the sinners and infidels elect someone else, we must topple that unbeliever by force, just as Jesus Himself toppled the tables of the moneychangers.” Reporters read the line half to death and dropped nuclear bombs on its grave in order to protect their political patrons. All of Fluffywuffy now looked to the world around them, awaiting some reaction.
The guard was Jason McCall, a tall, red-headed brute with contradictory soft, warm eyes. He was of the Imperial Holy Guards Army, a band of warrior-priests who defended the Emperor. He had failed his Emperor, and had not even given him the sacrament of Extreme Unction. To not help him live was bad enough, but to not give him the sacrament. . . . The thought sent shivers down Jason’s spine. Would he go to hell for this? God was a merciful god, and surely he would have mercy on him, for he had not even done anything wrong. But Jason thought--knew--that he had gravely sinned, and just then a thought popped into his head: I must do penance for my sins.
Jason walked down the winding corridors of the Imperial Palace, where he approached Cardinal/General John Davis, leader of the Holy Guards Army and representative of the ex-Emperor in the Rexicum Catholic Church. The Rexicum Catholic Church was centered in Rexicum, Fluffywuffy’s capital city, and had almost 3.2 billion members. The shamed warrior-priest approached the simple old cardinal, where he handed in his necklace, the symbol of the Holy Guards. The Cardinal accepted the necklace without question; whatever troubles this young man had must have been great for him to leave the most honorable posting in the Empire.
Now freed of his marriage to the State, Jason marched outside the walled fortress that was the Imperial Palace and strolled into the aptly named Square of Martyrs. The square’s name was derived from the fact that the earliest Christians in Fluffywuffy were killed in the square for both the Emperor’s and the crowd’s pleasure. A stone platform still stood where the martyrs met their ill ends, and Jason climbed onto this, ruining the pictures of several tourists and causing many random passerbys to turn in his direction out of curiosity. At that very instant, the ground shook violently, throwing people off their feet and lifting the platform a few inches off the ground. Jason read this sign as a blessing from God. The earthquake sent virtual waves sailing high into the sky in the people’s minds, and they would not crash for a long time, building strength the entire time.
Jason raised his arms into the air, calling for attention and quiet. A small voice in his head commanded him to cease and desist, but he dismissed it as the voice of Satan. “My fellow children of God, I shall tell you of one event that I find to be an instrument of God’s work. Our great Emperor, that great man of God, is dead, and someone must take his place. He left no children or wife; as a man of God, he stayed pure his entire life. He blessed us with the choice to choose a new leader after his death, entrusting us to choose someone who glorifies God. But those who seek the highest office are neither capable of the job nor men of God. I believe God sent me a sign--that earthquake--and a few other clues about what I--we--must do. We must appoint Pontiff Anacletus II as Emperor, and he must transform the Second Empire into the Holy Empire--an Empire ruled not by laws of men but by the commandments of God. Should we fail, I believe, we will lose touch with our God and be consumed in hellfire. So I beseech you, fellow children of God, to follow me in glorifying God’s name by appointing the Pontiff as ruler. And should the sinners and infidels elect someone else, we must topple that unbeliever by force, just as Jesus Himself toppled the tables of the moneychangers. . . .”
Jason rambled on, growing more and more confident with each passing moment. He noticed some members of the crowd began cheering, others yelling obscenities, and yet others showing an unusual apathy. By now, television news crews set up shop in the square to tell the world of the events. But as the speech labored on, more in the crowd cheered and showed determination on their faces. The finale of Jason’s slapdash speech included a large round of applause from a now massive crowd and a thunderous cascade of boos from protestors on the other end of the square, including everything from Jews, Muslims, Communists, and the KK, and other Christians. Jason confidently strolled down an open path in the crowd, walking toward his home to pray to God for giving him strength.
_________
In the various political capitals of the various political parties vying to get their candidate for Emperor elected, Father Jason McCall represented a major obstacle. Most of Fluffywuffy was of the Rexicum Catholic Church, and the current pontiff was a very popular African man with moderate views on church teachings. Even non-believers respected the man due to his excellent debating skills, personal modesty (he chose not to live as a modern price, but more in keeping with a priest), and undying devotion to the Gospel. And so various committees met, and the political parties met with the media. They shook hands and decided that the world must know of events in Fluffywuffy, for world opinion might turn the tide in the upcoming election.
Broadcasting on international television, hundreds of reporters from Fluffywuffy blasted both Father McCall, the Pontiff, and anything even remotely related as fanatics, crusaders, and oppressors. The favorite line to attack was, “And should the sinners and infidels elect someone else, we must topple that unbeliever by force, just as Jesus Himself toppled the tables of the moneychangers.” Reporters read the line half to death and dropped nuclear bombs on its grave in order to protect their political patrons. All of Fluffywuffy now looked to the world around them, awaiting some reaction.