NationStates Jolt Archive


BMG launches space program

Blood Moon Goblins
26-04-2005, 01:51
(Before you is an image transmitted from a video camera, visible are six Goblins in padded clothing and smoked goggles. They are fiddling with an object which the camera is zoomed to close to to be visible. The cameras operator is having trouble keeping the camera still.)
(OOC: All comments translated from Goblinese)
"What da hell are joo doin!? Dont! Joo wanna kill us all!? Dis fing is fulla 'nough powder ta blow up da whole stinkin' mountain! Don' touch it!"
One of the alchemists snaps at an assitant of some kind, and cuffs him on the back of the head.
The camera pulls back, well, the Goblin carrying it walks back, having not figured out the zoom function yet.
The strangest rocket ever assembled is now visible for all to see, consisting mostly of scrap metal and good thoughts. The entire assembly is roughly thirty feet high and just visible at the top is a small clear dome which can be reached by a ladder. The ladder is connected to a platform on which stand a number of priests to one or the other of the Blood Moons many prolific gods. Each of them is muttering in a differnt dialect of "Occult Muttering", which consists of gutteral symbols designed to sound imposing and sophisticated.
The Goblin ground crew finishes whatever it was doing and quickly retreats, the priests almost fall over each other in their haste to get off the ladder.
The camera turns to see the pilot and "lighter" approaching. The pilot is skinny, even for a Goblin, and wearing a heavily armoured suit with a fishbowl-style helmet. The 'lighter' carries an extremly long butane lighter.
The pilot climbs up the ladder and begins to secure himself in the cockpit, sealing the dome and wondering where the 'eject' button is.

The Lighter moves forward and applies the tip of the butan torch to the base of the tube, then leaves the area with an alacrity that generaly would be described as 'fleeing'.
With a loud FFFFsssssssstttttttt and then a FFFFWWWWWWWBOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!! the metal tube below the rocket explodes, sending the main assembly hurtling upwards on a ballistic path.
The radio included in the rocket registers the loud "YYYYEEEEEEEHAAAAAA!" by the pilot, who is apparently alive at this point.

Some time later the rocket touched down in a lake, and the pilot shortly after that.
Having managed to pry the dome off he had jumped out and parachuted down, clutching the altimeter which had been jury rigged so that the numbers wouldnt decrease. This showed that the rocket had not managed to get into space, but had attained a respectable altitude for a giant firework.
This data was relayed the the Alchemists, whos only comment was:
"Make a bigger one, we got lotsa powder."

OOC:
Reflective of the standard Goblin philosophy in most matters. If it doesnt work the first time you didnt make it big enough.
Blood Moon Goblins
26-04-2005, 02:19
OOC:
*save from second page*
Phalanix
26-04-2005, 02:23
OCC: -falls over laughing so god damn hard- Ah god that has to be the best attempt at a space program in history!
No endorse
26-04-2005, 02:29
ooc: Beautiful! TAG!
Blood Moon Goblins
26-04-2005, 03:40
OOC:
Thanks :)
Im sure at some point they'll get their hands on liquid oxygen :)
Blood Moon Goblins
26-04-2005, 04:39
OOC:
I have your younger/older brother/sister/cat/dog. If you do not post within five minutes they will be executed.
That is all. ;)
(insert n00by line of MP5 smilies here)
Theao
26-04-2005, 04:43
As we have an embassy in BMG, we wish to aid you in constructing your space rockets, to prevent you from blowing up our embassy and diplomatic team.
Belem
26-04-2005, 05:49
ooc: LOL this space program is almost as good as the space program from Family Guy which was Chris in the tree trying to reach the moon.
Blood Moon Goblins
26-04-2005, 14:51
BMG thanks the nation of Theao, but we assure you that your embassy is in no danger, being under a midsized mountain capable of withstanding a number of nuclear blasts.

The Alchemists have also announced that they will begin preparations for a new fourty foot rocket in one week. Nations that wish to attend may come, but it is advised that you wear a padded tuxedo with some sort of fireproof coating.
No endorse
26-04-2005, 20:47
"Dear God, those goblins are at it again..."

"Space travel? Someone save us..."

"Well, we can't just stay here conversing without having any names... let's send them a message!"

"But... I like being an anonymous disembodied voice... it freaks out the readers."

"Sending message..."

"Thank you."

The nation of No Endorse welcomes BMG to space with open arms, and will gladly send our finest thermite to aid in the project. It requires no external oxygen to burn (It has its own locked inside), and is extremely stable unless lit by something as hot as a magnesuim ribbon, and we will send some of which along with the shipment of thermite.
Blood Moon Goblins
27-04-2005, 04:22
At the sight of our Alchemists faces we are forced to accept your offer.
They should be happy for a while.
Thanks.
Blood Moon Goblins
31-07-2005, 19:17
Goblins on the Moon

NEWS FLASH!
This is a great day for Goblin kind, as the first spacecraft launched from Gundabad Spaceport has succesfully landed on the Moon.
There were several previous launches, including the ill-fated nuclear-spacecraft program, which resulted in the abandoning of Launch Site 2 in the Waste.
(video of a large mushroom cloud and a few comically flying body parts)
The spacecraft, a MkII 'Bottle Rocket', was launched two days ago at six o'clock, and is estimated to have reached the moon, sadly the external video camera was ripped off on launch.
(cameras-eye view of lots of dust and fire, then static)
We can, however, assume the craft got to the Moon at some point, because nobody has witnessed any large explosions or trails of fire streaking across the sky.
(video of the last Goblin attempt at the moon, viewed through a telescope, which shows a bit orange spot close to the Moon.)
Disregarding all previous tradition, the Goblin spacecraft should be landing as we speak.
More news when it is avalible.