NationStates Jolt Archive

The EVIL Imperial Empire of The Island of Rose is EVIL. On a daily basis they commit GENOCIDES and kill SHOOBANS for no good reason! Why? Because they are EVIL. Evil I say! Evil! The malicious leader was the Grand Evil Leader Person Guy Sergei Ilyanov! He runs the country with an Iron Fist, of Evil! Heck we're so evil democracy's meaning in the Evil Dictionary of Evil Words stands for dictatorshipping! And what not! If they even knew what democracy is, heck only the smart ones know. If they had an education, bwa ha ha ha!

Oh yes, we're evil all right. Why Sergei's house is the EVIL Villa of DOOM. It's all dark, we're so evil we don't even know what the word good means! It means, something! But we're evil! We're so evil we like Cher! Yes, Cher is considered Mozart here! Evil evil evil evil evil! Yes we're so evil we don't even have an environment! All we have are giant tall buildings of rusting metal and the sky is always dark, matches the mood you know. Plus a giant evil company, called EvilDoom Tech runs the nation, and guess what? It's run by Sergei! Evil yes? Yes it's evil, and it's popular! And because you're so special, yes you with the bad hair even you, you poor poor man/woman/thing.

So now envision Sergei, with very EVIL clothes on and a very EVIL cape on. With spikes all over it and overarmed overarmored guards... of DOOM. DOOM I SAY! ABANDON ALL HOPE ALL WHO ENTER! Right.

Sergei looked at his right hand man, a very large man with muscles of doom and a buzzcut. Why? Because it's evil. "Okay, tell the people at the bottom this." He said with a very very very evil voice. Of doom. "I want three genocides today. One for traitors, one for nazis, and one for no good reason. Tell them they can think of whatever reason."

The RAWR right hand man nodded.

Sergei turned towards the door, the oversized useless door that protects his Royal Hall... of evil! "Now... time to go a-Shooban hunting." Now, I, TIOR, bring to you. A day in the life of... evil TIOR. Cue the thunder!

That's pretty EVIL, but Drahken is gonna blossom into a nation of ULTIMATE EVIL. Hell we can go ahead and commit atrocities on nations that aint evil. :mp5:

-_-.

-_-.

(It was coming, and your knew it.)

The Happy and Nice Democracy of Doomingsland Capital City, Human Rights City

Inside the capital building, President Helldawg, dressed in a black suit and surrounded by pot-smoking hippies, attempted to give a speach.

"My fellow Doomingslanders,

Today the world is facing many genocides and tragedies in the name of conquest and expansion. It is my intention NOT to bring our nation to war, and preserve our most sacred democracy. Oh, yeah, and I'm legalizing gay marriage, banning slavery, declaring Shoobans to be human, legalizing marijuana, legalizing devil worship, legalizing all forms of free speech, and encouraging you to speak against me. I'm also banning the death penalty and torture. Oh, yeah, I'm dissolving all of our corporations, increasing our taxes by 50%, and giving tons of welfare to freeloaders and bums. Why? Because I'm just so NICE!!!

Oh, yeah, I'm also putting trade embargoes on eveyone who's commiting genocide and disolving the navy to make sure we don't abuse our power. We hope this does not offend the international community." he finished with a broad grin as everyone cheered and got high, dancing merry jigs and such.

Bah the day you become evil is the day I become a Commie..oh, crap you better be joking or I'll have to eat my words and become a commie..

Bah the day you become evil is the day I become a Commie..oh, crap you better be joking or I'll have to eat my words and become a commie..

(coughs)

Two men stepped off the plane in TIOR. They knew why they were here. They were to film a documentary, entitled "See how bad life is in other countries!" Designed, of course, to make everyone think life in Bonstock was great. Bonstock, the land where a man could get a PhD in computer science and still be forced to work for minimum wage in a hot, swealtering factory.

They walked into the terminal, to go to their hotel. One of them said, "Shouldn't we check the camera? It's been making strange noises."

"Fine, whatever." He opened up the camera bag. Out crawled a starved, half-naked young woman, who promptly looked at the lights and started kissing the ground. The man said, "Dude, where's my camera?"

"I'm so sorry," to woman began. "The authorities locked me up for ten years in that camera closet, for being a communist. I had to get out, so I switched places with the camera. I'm so glad to be out of Bonstock! Thank you!" she then walked up, and disappeared into the car.

The other man said, "Dude, you should have kept her in there until we got to the hotel."

"Dude, my camera changed into a chick. What the f*ck?"

"Dude, we've gotta go buy a new camera."

They ran over a shop in the airport. Instantly they burst in and asked for a video camera.

Unfortunately, they were speaking Bonstocknian, and the Bonstocknian word for video camera was "hooker." The cashier looked to the sides, and said, "Don't say a word about this." He led them into a dark room, to two beds. "They'll be here shortly," he said.

"Dude, is this our hotel?"

"I guess. And there gonna bring the video cameras here."

"Cool. You know, we oughta go find some women."

"Yeah, lets go."

They walked out of the room. Two good looking girls were walking towards them. One of the men said, "Hey."

The ladies said, "Sorry, we're busy right now." They walked into the room the men had just exited.

"Whats their problem?" one of them said.

"Dunno. Probably whores. Let's go find our hotel."

"Yeah. We'll come back for the video cameras."

OOC: TioR thread! w00t!
(what? I like them. They're funny)

IC:
We are disgusted and appalled.
Shocked and horrified.
We are sick to our stomachs.
President Halldawg of Doomingsland was wearing a black suit.
Black suits are like, so 20th-century.
Everyone knows that charcoal is in.

But The Isle of Rose's outfits, man, they are just soooo sexy.

-Ministry of Fashion

OOC: In case no-one guessed, this is not a serious post.

I would like to know on what drugs you have forgotten to take today, dear The Island of Rose.

The Moderatly Schizoprhenic SuperHappy Funtime Empire.
Lalalala, bunnies and flowers.
FLAMETHROWER! BURN IT ALL! KILL THE BUNNIES AND DEVOUR THEIR FLESSH!!!!!! FLLLLLLEEEESSSSSHHHHHH!!!!
Tra-la-li, singing folk music.
HEAVY METAL! WWWWWRRRRRRRAAAAAWWWWWW!!!!! BWRNRNRNRNRNRNNRNRNRNRNNRNR BAMAMAM!!!
I wish you would stop that.
KEEP DOING IT! WRRRRAAAAWWWWWW!!!
Im going to get angry soon.
HAHA! WIMP! WUSS NICE GUY CANT HURT ME! HAHAHAHA!
...*eye twitches*
HAHAHAHA! WUUUUUUUSSSSSS!!!
Thats it.
WHERE YA GOIN WUSS? HUH? WATCHA GONNA DO!? HUH?
*click click*
Oh damn.
MMMMMMMMmmmmmrrrrrwwwwwwwwwwww
TCHTCHTCHTCHTCHTCHTCHTCHTCHTCHTCH.
rrrrrrwwwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrr....
Never underestimate a nice guy with a minigun.
*groan*

Your not evil enough until you've ordered your very own, Ultra Evil Throne Room.

Outfit your nation today with the latest in evil thronewear.

Comes standard with trap doors, black throne, and lots of sharp pointy objects.

As soon as the EVIL Rosian soldiers in their EVIL imposing dark face mask uniforms saw Bonstackian reporters, they quickly shot them with every known automatic weapon known to mankind. Including, an automatic rocket launcher... hey, it can happen.

the evil empire of sephrioth watches tior

As soon as the EVIL Rosian soldiers in their EVIL imposing dark face mask uniforms saw Bonstackian reporters, they quickly shot them with every known automatic weapon known to mankind. Including, an automatic rocket launcher... hey, it can happen.

"Like, dude, they're like, shooting at us."

"Don't worry, I was prepared for this!" He pulled out what looked like a pistol, and said, "Hasta la vista, Rosie! M337 7h3 u17im473 d00m 0f my uber-IGNORE pistol!" He pulled the trigger, but it wouldn't fire. "Dude, why the hell wont it fire?"

"Dude, it's like, too OOC. We're IC charachters... we can't use it!"

"Oh, sh*t. Why'd we have to be born in NS?"

"Don't worry. In NS, we can make up whatever weapon we want! Look at this!" He pulled out an automatic tactical nuke launcher, and began firing away at the EVIL Rosian soldiers. Within two seconds, 168720984756873901875908748738 nukes were launched at TIOR.

One of the EVIL Rosian soldiers shouted. "OMG NOES! We R being N00kz3rd! W3 mus7 counter nuke!"

So, from Evil Space Station Number 172, hundreds of thousands of n00ks launched towards the two Bonstackian reporters! And giant explosion occurs, but of course the city survived! Why? For two reasons. Number one, we're EVIL! We can't die that easy unless the EVIL leader dies in an epic battle against the hero, duh.

The EVIL Rosian soldiers jumped, shouting and praising the Grand Evil Super Leader of Doom!

President's Office

"Um...Mr. President? asked an aid, peaking into the room. Helldawg sat there with a creepy looking grin on his face.

"Yes?"

"Um, TIOR just used space-based weapons..."

"MY GOD MAN! How could they do such a horrible thing? Tainting the peacefull abyss of space with horrible weapons that kill!" he yelled to the cieling before breaking down and crying.

"Um...OK, I'll just leave you alone now..."

"WAIT!!!" he yelled as the aid turn towards the door. "I want you to...CONDEMN THEM!!!"

DUM DUM DUM

(Bump, new post coming soon...!)

Now with the EVIL Genocides ordered, the EVIL Super Duper Grand Master Evil Sergei Ilyanov decided to go SHOOBAN hunting! How fun, and where else to hunt SHOOBANS but in... SHOOBAN CITY! Yes, an entire "city" dedicated to the hunting of SHOOBANS! Yes, it's a family vacation! Take a picture in front of Shooban Hall, where the corpses of famous Shoobans are displayed! Yes, there's Adolf Shooban, and Josef Shooban is over there! Isn't that cute? Yes it is, because SHOOBANS are the IN thing. SHOOBAN CAPS! SHOOBAN PANTS! SHOOBAN SHIRTS! SHOOBAN RUGS! My, Sergei is smoking a SHOOBAN cigar! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Fun for the whole dang family!

My, is that Sergei over there? Why, yes it is! He's shooting Shoobans for his hundreds of thousands of kids, because the man never marries! But he can never use protection, no he can't! Ah, now he's done. Time to declare war on random nations!

(Short, but I don't have the inspiration right now >.>)

One of the EVIL Rosian soldiers shouted. "OMG NOES! We R being N00kz3rd! W3 mus7 counter nuke!"

So, from Evil Space Station Number 172, hundreds of thousands of n00ks launched towards the two Bonstackian reporters! And giant explosion occurs, but of course the city survived! Why? For two reasons. Number one, we're EVIL! We can't die that easy unless the EVIL leader dies in an epic battle against the hero, duh.

The EVIL Rosian soldiers jumped, shouting and praising the Grand Evil Super Leader of Doom!

ooc: mindless response... i just had to say this...

ic: "Dude, they're nuking us back!"

"You know what, this calls for the big one."

"No! You can't! We'll be labelled n00bz!"

"It's the only option we have left." He reached into his pants, and suddenly unzipped his zipper, and pulled the pants down. He yelled at the Rosians, "MY STEEL PENIS WILL PROTECT US!!!!"