NationStates Jolt Archive


DGNT begins new campaign of Mime Extermination

Dontgonearthere
23-04-2005, 15:57
OOC:
Im baaa-aaack.
If you dont know, Mr 47 is a generaly benevolent dictator with a pathological hatred of mimes and street theatre, both of which are punishable offences in DGNT.

IC:
Mr 47 was rather angry today, having looked out the large window of the Octagonal Office and seen no less than three mimes performing on the streets. The police were getting lax...one officer actually dropped some change in one of the idiots caps.
This calls for action.
A few phone calls were made, an officer was demoted back to constable for 'Mime Tipping' and the mimes performing in front of Dontgonearthe Castle were shot.
Well...eventually they were shot.

DNN News
Your source for totaly unbiased govornment controlled media.

Today it was announced by President 47 (now approximatly 375 years old) has issued a new presidential order regarding mimes. It has come as a shock to the nation after some years of near inactivity from the Castle, and a few people are grumbling.
"All mimes are to be rounded up and hung upside down in the castles scorpion pit until they ask to be let out. Those that do not ask to be let out will be visited by the Information Retrieval Technicians until they ask to be let out, or die. That is all."

Large groups of local militia have been mobilized in order to deal with this 'Silent Threat' to the nations security.
Dontgonearthere has informed nearby nations to expect large ammounts of mime-immigration, although we will do our best to stop them.
Remember, if you see a mime, DO NOT APPROACH. They have powers.
One mime we interviewed made a statment which is best described as:
" :eek: !!! :sniper: :sniper: "
This was seen as a threat though, and the mime/sniper was hit with a frying pan thrown very accuratly by a nearby wife. She was cooking breakfast at the time, which consisted of (at that point) bacon and eggs.
It was a very large frying pan.
The woman is schedualed to be presented with the Mime Bashers medal, normally only avalible to people who play in the Mime Bashing Leauges, DGNTs national sport.
She has informed us that she played once upon a time, but her aim isnt as good as it was and she sprained her arm with a particularly nasty uppercut using a large wooden spoon at one point a few years back.
Alcona and Hubris
23-04-2005, 16:13
OOC: Welcome back...

IC:
KCN NEWS REPORT
Boat Mimes start landing in Logoth

Large numbers of boats containing refugee's who will not speak, but only pantomime had begun washing ashore in the Logoth Territories. As most have no money, or viable means to support themselves, they have been given temporary jobs working on building the new cross Logoth rail line.

Markgrave Logoth has stated, "Really we don't know why they want to come here. Alconians really don't like mimes, so they have to find alternative employment. I would say most are going to seek refuge in either Tanah Burung or perhaps Terran Sphere as those are the only places that might accept them."

When asked how mimes would perform in nations not known for an overabundance of streets, the Markgrave shrugged and commented, "I guess they will have to develop dirt track threater. A few have attempted developing rail line threater. But that proved quite messy...so I have asked the March Assembly to pass a law banning performances on railroad tracks."
CorpSac
23-04-2005, 16:13
"Grate the crazy dude back and killing mimes, ahh well we all need a hobby" A random person in a city in the empire said as he sprayed his TAG on a wall.