NationStates Jolt Archive


SECRET IC: The Pow Pow Footy Kick Panzer Squad

The Real ALM
22-04-2005, 15:36
OOC: Inspired by the numerous SpecOps threads popping up, and my newly acquired travel guide to Tokyo.

IC:

Somewhere in West Virginia-

Kimiko A. Moua, the head of the RALM, stood in the mountain air. Ever since the UMWA had been driven from the area, it was safe to rent a cabin, and go do a Walden every so often.

But she didn't come here to "simplify, simplify."

She came here, with 50 of the best hackers in the RALM. The most dangerous "rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists," to borrow a line from Blazing Saddles, of the Digital Age. There was no PC or Mac they could not reduce to smoldering slag. No bank vault that could be left uncracked under their tender mercies. No superweapon that could not be commandered and used against its owner under their expertise.

She turned to them, and said, in her trademark husky Marlene Dietrich voice:

"Gentlemen, welcome to this most beautiful retreat. It has come to my attention that in this Digital Age, my organization lacks an organized hacking capacity-something good for a budding terrorist-cum-global conspriacy like ours."

"That is why I brought you here. You are experts in your fields. I need not sing your peans mindlessly, like the mainstream tech mags do. You know what you are capable of. Starting today, this will be one of your many HQ's. You will be paid $50,000 a day. You will recieve the finest living facilities in the world, you will date the finest women, and get the finest computer parts and machines to do your jobs. In exchange, I expect nothing less than total victory."

"Failure will bring disgrace. Even death. And I would hate to kill such budding young minds, who have so much potential."

She then siad, "Follow me, gentlemen."

She led the hackers to their workroom. Inside was a series of comfy cubicles, with only the best computers set up. There were boxes of spare parts, and software. It was nerd heaven.

She then said, "So......let's hear your names."
Roach-Busters
22-04-2005, 17:04
*Tag*
The Real ALM
22-04-2005, 17:33
One of the men spoke.

"I am Misamaru Shinichi. (http://www.absoluteanime.com/image.html?src=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.absoluteanime.com%2Fgeobreeders%2Fyoichi.jpg&w=247&h=256&title=Yoichi%20Taba%20%28Geobreeders%29) I am from Tokyo, Japan. Raised in Akihabara, like my comrades, Shoji (http://www.absoluteanime.com/image.html?src=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.absoluteanime.com%2Flove_hina%2Fkeitaro.jpg&w=344&h=235&title=Keitaro%20Urashima%20%28Love%20Hina%29), Nikolai (http://www.absoluteanime.com/image.html?src=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.absoluteanime.com%2Flodoss_war%2Fparn.jpg&w=256&h=200&title=Parn%20%28Record%20of%20Lodoss%20War%29), Chen Tsu-kai (http://www.absoluteanime.com/image.html?src=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.absoluteanime.com%2Flupin%2Fjigen.jpg&w=358&h=338&title=Daisuke%20Jigen%20%28Lupin%20III%29), and Jackie "Mac" MacDougal (http://www.absoluteanime.com/image.html?src=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.absoluteanime.com%2Flupin%2Ffujiko.jpg&w=220&h=350&title=Fujiko%20Mine%20%28Lupin%20III%29). Born and bred hackers, my speciality is shutting down Macintosh networks. I have dedicated my life to killing this heresy, and I was even enlisted by the Xenizen CIA to do it."

Kimiko said, "Nice.......what else can you do?"

Shinichi said, "Well, I can also create very nasty viruses, but my buddies already have that down. I can also make machines that can shut down cell-phone and radio communications in a 50-ft radius."

Kimiko wiggled her fingers Mr. Burns-style and went "Excellent...."

She then pointed to "Mac."

"What do you do?"

Mac then said, "I break bank vaults. Electronic or manual lock, I can make a virus or descrambler or master key to break any safe."

She then questioned the others. She got a unique set of skills that included:

-Chen had a fantastic ability to redirect military missiles against their users, and could mess with military systems at will.
-Nikolai, owing to his experience with HAM radios and other communications equipment, could break into the frequencies of any radio set, any civilian broadcasting unit, any microphone, any cell tower (radio or digital) anywhere, any walkie-talkie, you name it, and play havoc.
-Shoji was the "sapper" of the unit. He could break any firewall, any anti-virus program made, bar none. He also could defeat security systems, scramble video, and generally break through security to allow his other buddies to get through.

Kimiko, at the end of this session, said, "Nice....."
The Real ALM
22-04-2005, 17:43
Kimiko then went, "So, you guys are friends?"

Mac went, "Yup. Most of this here platoon you recruited we know from our Akihabara days. We trained them in our skills, but generally, we're the best."

Kimiko then went, "That is why I picked you guys. 50 of the best. My new Pow Pow Footy Kick Panzer Squad. You will be my electronic-"

Mac then went, "Well, know that part. We just need tons of parts, and Windows XP Professional....no, make that Linux. And we'll need lots of mainframes, Beowulf clusters, and other goodies. You want us to do our job, we'll have to out-Q Q."

Kimiko winced at the cost of these materials, but knew it was needed. She then said, "Very well, you shall get your equipment, posthaste."

Mac then said, "Thanks."

The PPFKPS Team then went to work, setting themselves up in their workrooms and dorms. Anime posters and TV show/Movie posters for Star Trek, Star Wars, Every Show on the Sci-Fi Channel, The Who and R.E.M. soon went up as they also began to make their custom PC's of doom.....