NationStates Jolt Archive

RBU Dailey Rant (student newspaper)

Today, Dr. Haldore Huggins, Ph.D., Professor of International Relations of Roach-Busters University called for "the swift demise of autocracy in this nation, the rebirth of a democratic government representative of all people, free and fair internationally-supervised elections, a friendly and peaceful non-aligned foreign policy, the legalization of the RB Communist Party, the RB Nazi Party, the Lefty Loosy Party, the Radical Revolutionary Party, and the Cringing Coward Party, the abolition of torture, the return of habeus corpus, trial by jury, and 'innocent until proven guilty,' and a human rights commisssion to put the Generalissimo on trial for crimes against humanity." The Generalissimo refused to comment.

RBU Dailey Rant (student newspaper)

Today, Dr. Haldore Huggins, Ph.D., Professor of International Relations of Roach-Busters University called for "the swift demise of autocracy in this nation, the rebirth of a democratic government representative of all people, free and fair internationally-supervised elections, a friendly and peaceful non-aligned foreign policy, the legalization of the RB Communist Party, the RB Nazi Party, the Lefty Loosy Party, the Radical Revolutionary Party, and the Cringing Coward Party, the abolition of torture, the return of habeus corpus, trial by jury, and 'innocent until proven guilty,' and a human rights commisssion to put the Generalissimo on trial for crimes against humanity." The Generalissimo refused to comment.

The United States of Nellisland stands behind the good doctor in his wishes. We hope that this sparks a revolution in Roach-Busters.

-President Michael W. Nellis

The United States of Nellisland stands behind the good doctor in his wishes. We hope that this sparks a revolution in Roach-Busters.

-President Michael W. Nellis


Thank you for your support, Mr. President. I seek a populist, popular, representative democracy of the people, by the people, and for the people- a democracy where everyone is free, regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religion, political views, social status, etc. A democracy where even Shoobans can breathe the sweet air of liberty.

-Dr. Haldore Huggins

A black van passed the house of the professor, and a brick was tossed through the window, with the note, "By order of SAVAK and the joint authorities of the Roach Busterian-Parthian Empire you are to cease and desist or face arrest."

A black van passed the house of the professor, and a brick was tossed through the window, with the note, "By order of SAVAK and the joint authorities of the Roach Busterian-Parthian Empire you are to cease and desist or face arrest."


To: President Michael W. Nellis
From: Dr. Haldore Huggins

Please, Mr. President, let me stay in your nation for awhile! These fascists want to kill me!

Thank you for your support, Mr. President. I seek a populist, popular, representative democracy of the people, by the people, and for the people- a democracy where everyone is free, regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, religion, political views, social status, etc. A democracy where even Shoobans can breathe the sweet air of liberty.

-Dr. Haldore Huggins

Dr. Huggins if you are in need of exile than my nation will house you for as long as you need.

-President Michael W. Nellis

Dr. Huggins if you are in need of exile than my nation will house you for as long as you need.

-President Michael W. Nellis


Bless you, Mr. President. You are a noble, chivalrous, and decent man.

-Dr. Haldore Huggins

Secret IC To Generalissimo J.L.:

Hey J.L., you want the nut job knocked out? If you do, check out the Agency (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=413073). The owner, Darien Jones, is one of my friend. He is a friend like you. He is an old war buddy, too. Talk to him, if you want that nut job killed off.

~ Count JWolf, a High Count of the Council of Twelve

OOC: I am pretty sure I have a base in RB...but if I don't can we pretend I do.

Bless you, Mr. President. You are a noble, chivalrous, and decent man.

-Dr. Haldore Huggins

Thank you for your kind words, but I am only doing what a sensable person would do. There is a plane waiting for you and the Nellisland military base. Hurry there as soon as possible. I have alerted them that you are coming.

-President Michael W. Nellis

The joint intelligence group looked at the situation. It was in the headquarters of Roach Busters intelligence agency, and as part of the fusion of the two nations, SAVAK agents were present, as was Lord Barham Sardarizadeh, head of SAVAK spoke to the Roach Busters head of intelligence and asked, "Should we nab the bastard before he can flee so we can kill him painfully?"

The joint intelligence group looked at the situation. It was in the headquarters of Roach Busters intelligence agency, and as part of the fusion of the two nations, SAVAK agents were present, as was Lord Barham Sardarizadeh, head of SAVAK spoke to the Roach Busters head of intelligence and asked, "Should we nab the bastard before he can flee so we can kill him painfully?"

OOC: Come one let him get to Nellisland...please!

<From Arborgard the Twelfth>

I do not enjoy this pointless rebellious attitude from such one without political involvement nor any influence upon the powers of the RB. If you wish, I can send anything required to deal with this heretic fool, and help you regain your normal life back without the interruption of mindless idiots seeking 'democracy'.

OOC: Come one let him get to Nellisland...please!
OOC: It's RB's choice.

OOC: It's RB's choice.

OOC: I know that. I am pleading to him for the record.

OOC: It's RB's choice.

OOC: Yes, it is up to RB. SAVAK agents or the agents of the Agency will kill him, if RB wants. I would go with the Agency because SAVAK agents can be track back to Parthian, I think. Right?

OOC: Hopefully RB makes the right choice..

OOC: Hopefully RB makes the right choice..

OOC: I am sure he will. I mean come on...what would be more fun than tensions with me. I mean come on...

OOC: I am sure he will. I mean come on...what would be more fun than tensions with me. I mean come on...
OOC: But 300 bastinadoes, 25 lashes, some more torture, and then execution by impaling is so much more fun.

OOC: But 300 bastinadoes, 25 lashes, some more torture, and then execution by impaling is so much more fun.

OOC: Yeah it does...oh wait...I'm the good guy...shoot...darn good guy morals.

Bump for life.

I have yet to formulate a decision. While I would like nothing more than to see this bastard dead, I do not want to make a martyr of him.

-Generalissimo J.L.

bump

Then perhaps he should die of an 'accident'?

Then perhaps he should die of an 'accident'?


Perhaps, but...I've had so many dissidents die of 'accidents' over the years that few people would be fooled if I were to arrange an 'accidental' death for this fool.

-Generalissimo J.L.

We would suggest bribery, but that might make things worse since a chain reaction might start. The closest I can believe is find something non-existant, such as criminal record, and sentence him to jail for it. There, behind closed bars, he can rebel all he wants. Or perhaps we can take care of him.

We can pretend to be a country becoming a democracy, and we might be able to lure him there. Once he is there, then our wild animals will kill him surely. What do you think of this suggestion?

We would suggest bribery, but that might make things worse since a chain reaction might start. The closest I can believe is find something non-existant, such as criminal record, and sentence him to jail for it. There, behind closed bars, he can rebel all he wants. Or perhaps we can take care of him.

We can pretend to be a country becoming a democracy, and we might be able to lure him there. Once he is there, then our wild animals will kill him surely. What do you think of this suggestion?


A very wise suggestion. We will consider it thoughtfully.

-Generalissimo J.L.

Secret IC

Dr. Huggins exhaled a sigh of relief upon loading the last suitcase into the trunk of his BMW. He checked his watch: almost midnight. If he was careful, he could probably make it to the Nellisland military base before SAVAK agents caught him. Once there, he would fly straight to Nellisland, confer with President Michael Nellis, and call upon all international leaders to impose crushing economic sanctions upon RB and withdraw recognition of the Generalissimo's government. So long as they did not resort to violence. A staunch Gandhian, Huggins abhorred violence. Hell, he could not even bring himself to eat meat. He climbed into the driver's seat, turning the keys in the ignition. He hoped he could make it to the base in time. His wife, Barbara, and daughter, Marjorie, were already there, waiting for him.

He sped off into the night.

"Psst, so wez hear youz don't want to resort to violence herez. Well, personally I've never needed an alternative, but I've heard wonders about this brainwashing thing." Fat Tony, King Pin of Ameracadia's Mob.

BANG! BANG!!!

Guardians burt into the room. "Fat Tony, by federal law we are placing you under arrest!"

"Whoaz, gotta goz!"

OOC: LOL that has to be the worst Italian accent ever!

bump

A SAVAK post in an empty house across the street had been watching him the entire time, and now, seeing him leave in the middle of the night, they knew he was making a break for it. He picked up the radio, "This is Eagle Eyes to base, the target has left, suitcases have been loaded, he is trying to flee." Lord Sardarizadeh responded, "Copy, we are sending forces." Alerts went out through the nation, black cars rushed out from garages while even a few helicopters and tanks were being scrambled to block his route. RB police had been notified to secure the airports and docks within 50 miles and to join in the pursuit. Sardarizadeh knew though that the professor would run to either an embassy or the Nellisland military base, and he had ordered several dozen armored vehicles to protect both from them.

Huggins slammed down on the brakes when he saw a roadblock just ahead. As soon as he stopped, several SAVAK and RBSP (Roach-Busters Secret Police) vehicles pulled over, forming a circle around him.

"Freeze! Come out, stick your hands up!"

SAVAK vehicles had joined with RBSP vehicles to box the leftist into a place he could not escape. With the modified Bradley IFVs of SAVAK pointing their guns at him and a group of SAVAK agents moving in, it seemed there was no escape.

4 Theater defense ships and 3 Velociraptor Class Arsenal Ships parked outside RB territorial limits. They broadcast a message out onto public channels:

"Anyone or anything trying to interfere with the G80 will be shot down."

Meanwhile, a lone G80 flew into RB airspace and landed right behind the roadblock.

Lizardmen armed with 4 barreled ATGMs and 18x121mm assault rifles swarmed out of the G80.

One of them spoke: "We'll be taking the Professor now..."

J.L we demand that you let the good doctor go. He was done nothing wrong and you do not want to cause an international problem do you. Let him into the Nellisland base and fly to the U.S.N. He was done nothing but speak his mind.

-President Michael W. Nellis

4 Theater defense ships and 3 Velociraptor Class Arsenal Ships parked outside RB territorial limits. They broadcast a message out onto public channels:

"Anyone or anything trying to interfere with the G80 will be shot down."

Meanwhile, a lone G80 flew into RB airspace and landed right behind the roadblock.

Lizardmen armed with 4 barreled ATGMs and 18x121mm assault rifles swarmed out of the G80.

One of them spoke: "We'll be taking the Professor now..."

A few of the massive M-29 Rostam MBTs turned around, and simply fired out several shells of high explosives at the lizardmen while IFVs joined in, illuminating the night with fire as a few Javelin missiles were shot towards the helicopter.

Secret IC

To: SAVAK
From: Generalissimo J.L.

Don't worry, I have a plan.


Public IC

To: President Michael W. Nellis
From: Generalissimo J.L.

Very well, take the bastard. I'd rather have him live than be a martyr.

"Democracy? Pfft, what do the peons know about running a country?

Of course as you say, killing him would make him a martyr and you wouldn't want that, but you would want to deter people from following in his footsteps.

What if you... say... kept him alive, but in constant, unbelievable pain? We have a wonderful variety of large, worm-like parasites called 'wormlers' native to Taerkasten, which burrow deep into your body and cause constant, unbearable pain. But they don't kill you, for they need your body to stay alive. You could even let him go after the 'implantation' if you'd like; he wouldn't bother you again, I can be sure of that, and it's very unlikely that anyone could forcibly remove the creatures without killing him in the process. We could send you some wormlers in a jar, if you'd like."

Druid Darkon
Taerkasten Druidic Council

"Democracy? Pfft, what do the peons know about running a country?

Of course as you say, killing him would make him a martyr and you wouldn't want that, but you would want to deter people from following in his footsteps.

What if you... say... kept him alive, but in constant, unbelievable pain? We have a wonderful variety of large, worm-like parasites called 'wormlers' native to Taerkasten, which burrow deep into your body and cause constant, unbearable pain. But they don't kill you, for they need your body to stay alive. You could even let him go after the 'implantation' if you'd like; he wouldn't bother you again, I can be sure of that, and it's very unlikely that anyone could forcibly remove the creatures without killing him in the process. We could send you some wormlers in a jar, if you'd like."

Druid Darkon
Taerkasten Druidic Council

Your ideas suggest that you are an obviously brilliant man, and a sadistic one, which I like. Unfortunately, I will not be able to implement your plan, however ingenious it is, for I already have a scheme in mind. But thank you for the advice.

-Generalissimo J.L.

"Ah, OK then, and thank you for the compliments. I have heard only great things about you and your nation, while we are exchanging in such a manner. Good luck with whatever you intend to inflict upon the poor fool. All the more wormlers for me to play with, after all..."

Druid Darkon
Taerkasten Druidic Council

"Ah, OK then, and thank you for the compliments. I have heard only great things about you and your nation, while we are exchanging in such a manner. Good luck with whatever you intend to inflict upon the poor fool. All the more wormlers for me to play with, after all..."

Druid Darkon
Taerkasten Druidic Council

Your nation does indeed seem to be a great one. Would you care to exchange embassies? I would be humbled and privileged to do so.

-Generalissimo J.L.

Your nation does indeed seem to be a great one. Would you care to exchange embassies? I would be humbled and privileged to do so.

-Generalissimo J.L.

"Embassies, hmm? It has been so long since foreigners set foot on our soil... well, no-one said that they shouldn't, they just didn't want to. An embassy exchange with the mighty nation of Roach-Busters would be most desirable! I will check with the rest of the Council later to if there are any residential blocks we could 'gently move out of the way' to make room for such a building in Taerkast City..."

Druid Darkon
Taerkasten Druidic Council

"Embassies, hmm? It has been so long since foreigners set foot on our soil... well, no-one said that they shouldn't, they just didn't want to. An embassy exchange with the mighty nation of Roach-Busters would be most desirable! I will check with the rest of the Council later to if there are any residential blocks we could 'gently move out of the way' to make room for such a building in Taerkast City..."

Druid Darkon
Taerkasten Druidic Council

I am honored.

-Generalissimo J.L.

I am honored.

-Generalissimo J.L.

That is quite unlike you to give me up J.L. Make sure he makes it to the base alive.

-President Michael W. Nellis

ooc: ARGH! I know this is too late, but you should have given him to me, which will help kick off the world war.

ooc: ARGH! I know this is too late, but you should have given him to me, which will help kick off the world war.

OOC: Are we starting a World War and I haven't been invited!

That is quite unlike you to give me up J.L. Make sure he makes it to the base alive.

-President Michael W. Nellis


Don't worry. As I said, the last thing I want is to make this bastard a martyr.

-Generalissimo J.L.

Indeed. This person seems to have his bases covered. If he lives, his status is a would-be liberator. If he dies, then he would be a martyr. Perhaps his status could be altered?

We are giving him up?

-Shah Khosru III

We are giving him up?

-Shah Khosru III

Yes Shah. J.L. is letting him go. I do not know why though.

-President Michael W. Nellis

Yes Shah. J.L. is letting him go. I do not know why though.

-President Michael W. Nellis

So, he does not become a martyr.

~ Count JWolf

We are giving him up?

-Shah Khosru III

I have a plan, my friend. Don't worry.

-Generalissimo J.L.

Will it involve a painful death?

Will it involve a painful death?

Secret IC

Yes. And all the blame will rest on Nellis's shoulders.

-Generalissimo J.L.

Secret IC

Yes. And all the blame will rest on Nellis's shoulders.

-Generalissimo J.L.

Secret IC
Very well. We shall watch, and enjoy this.
-Arborgard the Twelfth

Secret IC
Very well. We shall watch, and enjoy this.
-Arborgard the Twelfth

Secret IC

My friend Barry Paneful is going to send a mercenary, disguised as a Nellisland police officer, to slaughter the not-so-good Dr. in cold blood.

-Generalissimo J.L.

Green Sun has proposed this idea: A democratic authoritorian state.

Sounds like an oxymoron, but it could quite possibly work. That's how Green Sun would function if a Facist or other totitarian goverment was ever elected.

Every timne one dictator dies, the people assemble to elect a new one. On certain local, but not national, issues, the people vote on what to do. Other than that the dictator has total power until his death. After that his family keep his or her estate and a new one is elected in.

That way everyone wins and NOBODY dies. Or dies directly because of it. Kinda. Not really.

Anyway, Green Sun, knowing that he has already taken refuge in Nellis, offers to take the proffessor. We do not believe he is safe there, and although he probably won't feel very safe here, either, he will be welcomed with Royal Protection, and honor given only to a few outside of Green Sun's political systems. That way Green Sun can convince him to accept our ideas for RB instead of the icky capitalist complete democratic goverment.

Secret IC

My friend Barry Paneful is going to send a mercenary, disguised as a Nellisland police officer, to slaughter the not-so-good Dr. in cold blood.

-Generalissimo J.L.

OOC: If I may ask..wear do you plan on getting the uniform, the badge, do you even know what they look like. Do you expect us not to catch this man or something. And when you going to tell me!

OOC: If I may ask..wear do you plan on getting the uniform, the badge, do you even know what they look like. Do you expect us not to catch this man or something. And when you going to tell me!

(OOC: Technically, since Huggins is my character, I can do whatever I want with him.)

(OOC: Technically, since Huggins is my character, I can do whatever I want with him.)

OOC: That is great but I think it is god-modding because you didn't ask me anything about my police. For all you know, I use my military for police. Sorry but I think it is god-modding.

OOC: That is great but I think it is god-modding because you didn't ask me anything about my police. For all you know, I use my military for police. Sorry but I think it is god-modding.

(OOC: I guess it is. I'll just have a member of the RB Embassy in Nellisland kill Huggins, then, and find a way to blame it on you. ;))