NationStates Jolt Archive

Greetings Comrades and Esteemed Dignateries,

"Let them Eat Cake"
~ Marie Antoinette

We offer the International Bakesale of 2005! We will be selling the following products in units of 1 metric ton, leave your orders below. Delivery will be prompt:

1. Bashani Brownies for........................... $10,000! ( A la Mode, add $2,000)

2. Sugar Cookies shaped like Bulls............. $15,000!

3. Ginger Snaps!.................................... $20,000

4. Fudge "Bull Pies" .................................$20,000

5. Macadamia, 6. Choc. Chip, 7. Oatmeal Raisin Cookies $25,000

8. Eclairs, 9. Canolis, 10. Tiramisu ..............$30,000

11. "Bread of Bashan" A traditional cake of Bashan. 5 layers. 2 Vanilla. 3 Chocolate. Smothered in chocolate, whipping cream, Chocolate Sauce, and ice cream, sprinkers... and the list goes on ...$50,000

Shipping is included. As Bashan is a peaceful nation, barely any money goes to defense so the military requires bakesales; however, as the world grows increasingly more dangerous and the threat of war looks immanent we are in dire need! We need to technologically overhaul the military and restructure, so we took our primary way of funding to the next level. A really, really big bakesale.

If we get enough we can get spiffy new unifroms for our goostepping guardians! http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/de/b/b1/Nva-ehrenwache.jpg

So, Let your people eat cake!

Drop the gun and take a canoli!

*sings* "C is for cookie, that's good enough for me.
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me...
C is for cookie, that's good enough for me, OH! Cookie Cookie Cookie Cookie C!!!!!"

in protest to the horrible injustice done to sesame street.

and immediately apologises, having realized that this is in a different segment of the forum than i thought it was

oh my, that's a lot of workers you have working on cakes for your glorious nation......

We'll take one metric ton of everything. Revolution Day is just around the corner, and it would be nice to have some foreign baked goods to add to the celebration feast.

(Yes, I realize the irony of eating foreign foods on a patriotic holiday. Quiet, you.)

The total price comes to $180,000, which will be wired upon confirmation of delivery. Much thanks.

You're probably wondering how I can't fund a military, but I can fund an army of cooks. It's actually mostly volunteer, they're gowing paranoid with Gene Kilroy (Read my other posts) talk of revolution. Also, a lot of the military men are on this and the unemployed (FDR is my inspiration).

Edit: Thank you Nargopia. The bakers are fast at work and processing your order. Allow one week for shipping.

Ah, baked goods, the true universal currency. To better serve our nation's Founding Day celebrations, I would like to purchase five tons of the eclairs, ten tons of the sugar cookies, ten tons of the gingersnaps, and ten tons of the "Bread of Bashan." Yes, we are a big nation.

I believe that comes to 1 billion dollars, which we gladly pay.

-Michael Haase, Colonial Commander of New Exodus

(Bump: I really need to defend myslef. [The region of Sigma Octannus IV wants to declare war on me because I pissed them off] Appease/Humor me)

OOC: Seeing as I am nice and benevolant and all...

IC:
To: Bashan
From: Flaming Souls

After reviewing our recent budget and eating needs, we have decided against purchasing any of your goods, however, seeing as you are in dire straights, we have decided to leave you a little present. You should be recieving a wire containing 1 billion dollars soon after this message. Hope that it helps.

Since His Majesty is quite fond of Tiramisu, we'd like to order 2 tons of those. $60.000 will be transferred to your account immediately, to ensure swift delivery.
I suppose you can buy a box or two of handgrenades with that.
(We're sympathetic to your financial situation, but it's simply not feasible for us to order more - the Tiramisu is purely for His Majesty's personal consumption, and while the Royal Stomach is quite impressive, there are limits.)

Regards,

J.T. Franks
Spruitland Royal Catering Services

OOC: I never knew a king could eat so much... Wow... and there are kids starving in China. This had no point, it's just a

B
U
M
P

The people of The Almighty Muffin have decided to order 3 tons of canolis. Good luck in the war effort. The leader of Sigma Octannus IV is corrupt and must be stopped at all costs.

-The Parliament of The Almighty Muffin

OOC: I never knew a king could eat so much... Wow... and there are kids starving in China.

As I said, the Royal Stomach is legendary, almost a national monument in itself.
Unfortunately, the Royal Bowel Movements are legendary as well.

J.T. Franks
Spruitland Royal Catering Services

Can the brownies conceal WMDs?

Joking, Everonian Billionare Igor Isanev will take some Ginger Snaps.

*Money wired from offshore bank*

Wait a tick, we do not want war with you. We never did. What is going on here? I represent Sigma Octannus IV and we wish to have nothing to do with this.

OOC: Nietcree, you said you were planning war... so that's what your getting. Now that I have money for defense is no reason for you to pull out.

We wish to buy one ton of bashani brownies and one ton of sugar cookies. I believe that makes a total of $25,000. The money shall be wired to you shortly. We also wish to know how you found the time to make so much food?

We have 10% unemployement and a guttted private sector, so we have a lot being produced at once. The workers don't complain. They get free lemondae from the 14 year old entrepeneurs. Would you also believe outsourcing?

we also find ways...

Like Godmoding: the use of time travel, magic, Santa's elves (This was counter productive; They attracted St. Nick who just ate all the cookies), and n00klear power might help also

Thanks for your support so far, but I we still have a long way to go. I have a goal of 7.5 billion and we're around $2.5. I have 0% as my military budget and Im wasting energy on cookie baking.Give your people a treat. If they have no bread, LET THEM EAT CAKE!

From: Caboose, head General
Samantha Frewart, head chef

We would like to buy cookies, but sadly, we don't need any. But I will gladly donate arms and money if you so need it. Please reply with what you need and my prosporous nation will supply it... We use Gauss rifles so i hope you don't mind?

Caboose

The country of Decada would like to purchase
1 ton of each of the following

1. Fudge "Bull Pies" .................................$20,000
2. "Bread of Bashan" ...............................$50,000
3. Tiramisu............................................$30,000
4. Eclairs..............................................$30,000
5. Cannolis...........................................$30,000
Total ..........................................$160,000

Giving your peasants cake......................Priceless

Die Nietcree, die

Krioval will gladly take one order of each baked good for the upcoming Festival of Fighters. Enclosed is one million kerotars (1 kTr = ~$1.80) and an authorization for further trade with Krioval. Enjoy.

~ Raijin Dekker