NationStates Jolt Archive

Roach-Busters Dailey News

Generalissimo's Mental Stability Questioned by Doctors

By: Walter Krankheit

Today, several prominent psychologists have expressed alarm over what they dubbed "the Generalissimo's rapidly disintegrating psyche."
"The fact of the matter is," said Dr. May Jerr-Kwak, in an interview with this reporter, "the Generalissimo is highly unstable now. He is experiencing a mass psychosis of epic, profound, and disastrous proportions. His rather eccentric behavior lately, both in public and private, at home and abroad, may be attributed to this mania."
The Generalissimo denies such ideas, saying he feels "as fit as a fiddle, contrary to what those commie quacks say."

[continued]

At first, experts dismissed these accusations as "kinda silly," "unfounded," and "totally inaccurate."
However, this morning, when J.L. screamed "Egads, a commie!" at the sight of a mouse, and when he fired underneath his bed over seventeen times with a shotgun because "a Red menace was hiding under there," experts decided maybe, just maybe, the reports had merit after all.

Our President, Hobo Bob, has won twenty-five dollars USD.

"Ve believe zat J.L is suffering from psychosis and schizophrenia. He has delusionz that everybody is out to get him and alzo that his insane hate for leftistz also add to that fire. Therefore ve recommend that he getz into a program to normalize him."

Random German Psychologist

The Supreme Soviet Refused To Comment On The Generalissimo's Mental Stability.

Our President, Hobo Bob, has won twenty-five dollars USD.

Money is on the way man...

My husband will be entering therapy today. We believe his psychosis is the result of long-suppressed traumatic memories from his youth. While he undergoes treatment, I will temporarily succeed him.

-First Lady Thiensiri Theveenugul

We hope the best for JL, it must have been the communists who poisoned him. Do a purge of all people who dissent, since they are probably responsible. People accuse me of being insane, but I am just and JL has simply been poisoned into his current state by leftists wanting to undermine him. Act accordingly, purge members of the Cringing Coward and lefty loosy parties.

-Shah Khosru III

Official Statement from the United Solaris Federation of Tiburon

Given the nature of the government of Roach-Busters, led by the Generalissimo, we do not find this hard to believe. We strongly hope that the accession of the First Lady helps create a more democratic and tolerant Roach-Busters.

Official Imperial Statement

The Emperor, after consulting with key medical advisors, including his personal physician, is certain that the Generallisimo's 'madness' is little more than a Communist plot to undermine his esteemed reputation as a defender of the great ideals of the free economy. After leading the great crusade against the left for so many years, it is indeed more likely that the Generallisimo is simply exhausted from his honorable efforts to save the world from the Red menace.

The Emperor for this purpose invited the Generallisimo to the famed Alexei Hotel, resort, casino, and Spa in Generia City to recuperate in the interests of preserving his health and preventing further damage to his reputation as a noble man and gift to humanity.

Off-The-Record Response

Pardon my French.

No shit.

Vasiliou Bandanaris

Rel, Minister of Redundancy, said that the nation of Bizzare Space Fortress wished to make clear that it was in no way responsible for the Generallisimo's detoriating mental health.

"We haven't even talked to him. We barely know who he is."

The minister went on to say that the nation of Bizzare Space Fortress had not manipulated his childhood in plans to slowly drive him insane later in life.

Experts believe Pacitalia and/or Sanctaphrax are responsible for his current condition.

-First Lady Thiensiri Theveenugul

We suggust exorcising the Generalissimo, since it is obvious that demons infect his mind.

We shall prey for him in our monasteries and chantries.

-Random Guilder Bishop

Considering that I know some of Professor Walter's antics, these seem with in realm of reason.

Emperor Justinian

OOC: I was going to do something like this, Justinian was going to claim that his pet cat was in fact emperor and refused to deal with issues of state until a new constitution was passed stating the emperor must be a cat.

ooc: The phrase, "aw shit" comes to mind. Sarz and Paci ignore you and vice versa, meaning only one left on that list..... *looks at self* *sigh*

IC:
"Meh, it was clear all along. His weren't the rantings of a sane man."
Random Sanctaphraxian Citizen

I can take over for J.L. when he is getting better. I could be El Generalissimo JWolf. All hail Generalissimo JWolf. I can see it, now. As I walk through the streets of RB city, the Roach-Buster people bow down to me and Shoobans run for me. People throw money at me and rows of women with babies line both sides of the street, so I can kiss the babies’ head. Little kids looked up to me and what to be me. I could go on and on but I have to do something. I forgot what I have to do. Bye, for now.

~ El Generalissimo JWolf

"*Sarcasm* Yes, we commies have been fucking with his mind for a long time. *Sarcasm* So you say he's lost it? Wow. About time he's admitted it."-The Great Leader Li.

So, doc, what's the verdict? Can a nutjob still legally rule Roach Busters?

"*Sarcasm* Yes, we commies have been fucking with his mind for a long time. *Sarcasm* So you say he's lost it? Wow. About time he's admitted it."-The Great Leader Li.

Warhammer Syndicate will neither confirm nor deny what some people are saying.

LONG LIVE COMMUNISM

Secret IC:

To First Lady Thiensiri
From Shah Khosru III

SAVAK agents active in Roach Busters are willing and prepared to arrest all Lefty Loosy and Cringing Coward party members. After a few tortures, I will find out who poisoned JL.

ooc: The phrase, "aw shit" comes to mind. Sarz and Paci ignore you and vice versa, meaning only one left on that list..... *looks at self* *sigh*

IC:
"Meh, it was clear all along. His weren't the rantings of a sane man."
Random Sanctaphraxian Citizen

(OOC: Pacitalia, too?)

Secret IC:

To First Lady Thiensiri
From Shah Khosru III

SAVAK agents active in Roach Busters are willing and prepared to arrest all Lefty Loosy and Cringing Coward party members. After a few tortures, I will find out who poisoned JL.

Will you? Oh, thank you so much! Please bring whoever poisoned my sweetheart J.L. to justice!

-First Lady Thiensiri Theveenugul

OOC:And no mention of me and a connection to poisoning...*sighs*

BIC:

Unofficial Response
Oh, pul-ese! Tell us somethig we don't know!
-Aemon Chaliny, reputedly in shower

Official Response
We hope J.L. gets better. How's his daughter?
~Signed~
Aemon Chaliny
Foreign Minister and High Governor of all Yaforite PRovinces

OOC:And no mention of me and a connection to poisoning...*sighs*

BIC:

Unofficial Response
Oh, pul-ese! Tell us somethig we don't know!
-Aemon Chaliny, reputedly in shower

Official Response
We hope J.L. gets better. How's his daughter?
~Signed~
Aemon Chaliny
Foreign Minister and High Governor of all Yaforite PRovinces

Thanks. She's fine.

-First Lady Thiensiri Theveenugul

SAVAK agents in their death black vans and Hummers drove in columns down the streets of major Roach Busters cities. They would pass as traffic moved to the sides when they saw the banner of Parthia with a script at the bottom of a flag, that looked like scribble to all but those who knew Farsi, Sazeman-i Ettelaat va Amniyat-i Keshvar, National Organization for Intelligence and Security. Two trains of these black vehicles were given a target, either the Lefty Loosy Party headquarters or the Cringing Coward Party headquarters. There, the target was simple, take the membership rosters and arrest all dissidents in RB city, followed by those elsewhere. Outside the Lefty Loosy Party headquarters, the hummers set themselves up as a perimeter with armed agents and RB policemen aiming their guns at the party headquarters. Tear gas was shot through the windows, and RB SWAT and SAVAKis stormed the place and dragged out the bureaucracy kicking and screaming while the membership roster was divided up. A single black van would then be ordered to a family of a dissident, and was ordered to execute them on sight or round them up and take them back to the SAVAK headquarters. At one house in the suburbs, a squad dragged out the wife, husband, and four children, and then shot all of the children in full view of the husband while the wife was beaten on the soles of the feet and burned with boiling water. When the husband refused to talk, the SAVAK agents poured gasoline on his feet and lit him on fire.

SAVAK has done RB a great service. To them goes my praise, and to the great and glorious Shah my thanks. May Ahura Mazda forever bless the beautiful nation of Parthia.

-First Lady Thiensiri Theveenugul

SAVAK has done RB a great service. To them goes my praise, and to the great and glorious Shah my thanks. May Ahura Mazda forever bless the beautiful nation of Parthia.

-First Lady Thiensiri Theveenugul

Thank you, as soon as we get done tor... er... interrogating the criminals, I plan to get some answers. Considering this is a matter of Roach Busters security, perhaps you would like RB authorities to ask the questions while the SAVAKis do the "wet work".

ooc: The phrase, "aw shit" comes to mind. Sarz and Paci ignore you and vice versa, meaning only one left on that list..... *looks at self* *sigh*

OOC: Careful, that's edging close to a flame or flamebait.

If I really was ignoring you, I wouldn't have posted in your threads after the war-that-must-not-be-named.