Roach-Busters
08-04-2005, 22:23
RB City, the Pest Control Company of Roach-Busters
For years the Generalissimo had longed to control Minnesota. His soul had so desperately craved the land his distant ancestors hailed from, the land they had fled in terror during the collapse of the United States of America. Minnesota, unfortunately, was under the dominion of a foreign power. That power was Axis Nova. Simply barging in, wiping out any opposition, and annexing the state was not an option. Not only would an incursion invoke the wrath of the natives- and tarnish RB's image in the eyes of the world- but RB would be assaulted by a full-fledged, no-holds-barred retaliation launched by the Axis Novan military. Such prospects did not particularly alarm the Generalissimo. Like many men in the past, he believed his nation was under divine protection. Under God's blessing, he reasoned, his forces could tear those of any other asunder, and always emerge from the blood-soaked battlefields victorious. RB had never lost a war. He did not plan on changing that. Still, fear tugged at his soul. Axis Nova was not exactly a Third World dunghole, like many RB colonies had been prior to annexation. The conquest of Minnesota would not be an easy task. Therefore, he would use force only as a last resort. With that in mind, he quickly wrote the following message, which was immediately wired to the government of Axis Nova:
To: The Government of Axis Nova
From: Generalissimo J.L.
For innumerable years I have savored the notion of acquiring Minnesota. It is a desire that can only be sated by its fulfillment. However, I am a reasonable man, and can reach reasonable agreements. I hereby propose the partition of Minnesota between us- I will seize Minneapolis, St. Paul, Blaine, Spring Lake Park, Fridley, Brooklyn Park, Brooklyn Center, Coon Rapids, Andover, and Elk River. The rest of the state will be yours. If this is not permissible, we could partition it differently. The point I am trying to make is that I want at least part of Minnesota- preferably, without bloodshed. However, I will not hesitate to draw my blade and tear you asunder should you refuse to comply. What will it be? A peaceful, gentlemanly partition? Or a devastating war that will erase millions of young men and cripple and maim many millions of others? The choice is yours. Albeit, I implore you to choose wisely.
For years the Generalissimo had longed to control Minnesota. His soul had so desperately craved the land his distant ancestors hailed from, the land they had fled in terror during the collapse of the United States of America. Minnesota, unfortunately, was under the dominion of a foreign power. That power was Axis Nova. Simply barging in, wiping out any opposition, and annexing the state was not an option. Not only would an incursion invoke the wrath of the natives- and tarnish RB's image in the eyes of the world- but RB would be assaulted by a full-fledged, no-holds-barred retaliation launched by the Axis Novan military. Such prospects did not particularly alarm the Generalissimo. Like many men in the past, he believed his nation was under divine protection. Under God's blessing, he reasoned, his forces could tear those of any other asunder, and always emerge from the blood-soaked battlefields victorious. RB had never lost a war. He did not plan on changing that. Still, fear tugged at his soul. Axis Nova was not exactly a Third World dunghole, like many RB colonies had been prior to annexation. The conquest of Minnesota would not be an easy task. Therefore, he would use force only as a last resort. With that in mind, he quickly wrote the following message, which was immediately wired to the government of Axis Nova:
To: The Government of Axis Nova
From: Generalissimo J.L.
For innumerable years I have savored the notion of acquiring Minnesota. It is a desire that can only be sated by its fulfillment. However, I am a reasonable man, and can reach reasonable agreements. I hereby propose the partition of Minnesota between us- I will seize Minneapolis, St. Paul, Blaine, Spring Lake Park, Fridley, Brooklyn Park, Brooklyn Center, Coon Rapids, Andover, and Elk River. The rest of the state will be yours. If this is not permissible, we could partition it differently. The point I am trying to make is that I want at least part of Minnesota- preferably, without bloodshed. However, I will not hesitate to draw my blade and tear you asunder should you refuse to comply. What will it be? A peaceful, gentlemanly partition? Or a devastating war that will erase millions of young men and cripple and maim many millions of others? The choice is yours. Albeit, I implore you to choose wisely.