Roach-Busters
08-04-2005, 21:50
The Government of Roach-Busters (and other important characters)
http://www.geocities.com/mr_whud/GenJL.JPG]
Generalissimo J.L. (45), head of state and head of government of Roach-Busters since he came to power via a coup d'etat in 1990, overthrowing a totalitarian Marxist government and making RB a showcase for free-market capitalism, making it one of the most industrialized and economically and militarily powerful nations on Earth. The son of two prominent historians, his parents were killed by the government for anticommunist sympathies when he was a young boy. That, and his blood line instilled in him a virulent, vehement hatred of communism unmatched in history. He is related, in way or another, to the following anticommunist individuals: Ian Smith of Rhodesia; Alfredo Stroessner of Paraguay; Joseph McCarthy of the United States; Anastasio Somoza Garcia, Anastasio Somoza Debayle, and Luis Somoza Debayle of Nicaragua; George Papadopoulos of Greece; Fulgencio Batista of Cuba; Augusto Pinochet of Chile; Francisco Franco of Spain; Antonio de Oliveira Salazar of Portugal; Ludwig von Mises of Austria; and Draza Mihailovich of Yugoslavia. He is also related to Robert E. Lee, Thomas 'Stonewall' Jackson, Patrick Henry, and Adam Smith. He is the recipient of an Associate Degree from RB City Community and Technical College, a Bachelor's Degree in Political Science from the University of Havana (when RB was still under communist control), an M.D. at Harvard Medical School, an M.B.A. at Notre Dame University, and a Ph.D. in Political Science from M.I.T. Having studied hundreds of military leaders throughout history, as well as their tactics, he rose rapidly in the military, eventually becoming General of the Army (during his military years, he feigned deep loyalty to the regime), eventually staging a coup d'etat and ousting the communists. He is 6'2", 175 lb., has gray hair, blue eyes, and a mustache. He is a Protestant Christian who does not belong to any particular branch, and the men he admires most are Jesus Christ, Booker T. Washington, and the American Founding Fathers. His hobbies are hunting Shoobans and communists, reading, debating, and chess. His favorite drink is root beer and his favorite food is fettuccine alfredo. His I.Q. is 175.
http://www.geocities.com/mr_whud/TheFirstLady.JPG
Thiensiri Theveenugul (25), First Lady of Roach-Busters. She married the Generalissimo when he was 38 and she was 18. As of yet, they have no children. She is known for her gentle heart, soft-spokenness, sunny disposition, and excellent cooking. She is nearly as anticommunist as her husband. Rumor has it that she is directly related to Thailand's Chakri Dynasty.
http://www.geocities.com/mr_whud/Nice_pic3.JPG
Rinoa (16), daughter of the Generalissimo and the First Lady. Although she was adopted, she shares many of her adopted mother and father's traits: her father's militant anticommunism and passion for killing Shoobans, her mother's gentle heart, generosity, and kindness, and both parents' intelligence.
http://www.geocities.com/mr_whud/CalvinCyprianJr.JPG
Calvin Cyprian, Jr. (42), Vice-President of Roach-Busters. A high school quarterback and consummate lady's man, he neglected college in favor of joining the military (like J.L., he secretly planned to stage a coup eventually). He met J.L. and they became best friends. However, once it was learned who Calvin's father was, he was imprisoned without trial for many years. Upon assuming control of RB, J.L. released Calvin and made him Vice-President. Calvin is married to an ex-supermodel whose beauty is surpassed only by that of the First Lady and Rinoa.
http://www.geocities.com/mr_whud/LesterLindsey.jpg
Lester Lindsey (39), Secretary of War. Lester has mastered over ten kinds of martial arts, including karate, judo, kung fu, tae kwan doe, and many others. He won the RB National Martial Arts Championship ten years in a row, before retiring. Apolitical, he had no interest in anything pertaining to governance until after the coup, when the Generalissimo appointed him Secretary of War.
http://www.geocities.com/mr_whud/TerrisFitten.JPG
Terris Fitten (46), Secretary of the Navy. A devout Christian renowned for his generosity. A self-made millionaire, he annually denotes over 75% of his salary to the poor. A brilliant student of economics, he is distantly related to Walter Williams and Thomas Sowell. He is also distantly related to George Washington Carver, Daniel 'Chappie' James, and Phyllis Wheatly. He received an M.B.A. and Ph.D. (both in Economics) from RB National University. Having served several years in the Navy as a young man, and being a knowledgeable expert on the subject, J.L. appointed him Secretary of the Navy.
http://www.geocities.com/mr_whud/ChongMoua.JPG
Chong Moua (36), Secretary of Diplomacy. Of Hmong descent, he is directly related to Hmong war heroes Lee Lue and Vang Pao. He is also distantly related to Prince Boun Oum and General Phoumi Nosavan. He has been an ambassador to dozens of nations and is a world-renowned diplomat respected for his uncompromising integrity and statesmanship. He is currently engaged to Kimiko Ayasugi of The Real ALM.
http://www.geocities.com/mr_whud/ChiaNengLee.JPG
Chia Neng Lee (37), Secretary of Law and Order. Taciturn and aloof, he is so silent he makes Calvin Coolidge look like a jabber mouth. Though generally kind, he is uncompromisingly cold-hearted, callous, and brutal toward communists, deliberately employing the most sadistic methods in suppressing them. As a relative of Nguyen Cao Ky, Syngman Rhee, Chiang Kai-shek, Nguyen Van Thieu, Lon Nol, Ferdinand Marcos, and Thanom Kittitakchorn- and a man who lost seventeen family members to communism- his anti-Marxism should come as a surprise to no one.
http://www.geocities.com/mr_whud/VinceDelusia.JPG
Professor Vincent DeLusia (65), Secretary of Education. A teacher in a variety of subjects, he is a genius with an I.Q. estimated to slightly exceed 200. He is related to Moise Tshombe, Mangosuthu Buthelezi, and Jonas Savimbi. Though a self-described progressive, he has no love of leftists, and publicly backs the government's unconditional opposition to communism. He is the main architect of the law making Wealth of Nations and The Black Book of Communism required reading in school and Das Kapital and Mein Kampf illegal.
http://www.geocities.com/mr_whud/ChristinePeralta.JPG]
Christine Peralta (28), Secretary of Commerce. An extremely devout Christian, she was born in the Philippines, but her parents emigrated to RB when she was a small child. An ultra-conservative, she nevertheless holds extremely libertarian economic views, and has written dozens of scholarly tomes extolling the superiority of capitalism over socialism. She has a Bachelor's Degree, an M.B.A., and a Ph.D. in Economics.
Roach-Busters
08-04-2005, 21:54
RB Military Statistics
Roach-Busters National Military
Army
*Fifty Armies, each comprised of three Corps, each comprised of two Divisions; each division is comprised of 15,000 men, 450 M1A4 "King Abrams" tanks, 150 Portland Armored Reconnaissance Vehicle/Light Tanks, 220 Magistrate 2 Heavy Artillery/ Nuclear Artillery Cannons, 900 Bratwurst Heavy Infantry Guns, and 600 M151 Multi-Utility Tactical Trucks
Issue Equipment:
Assault rifle - SR-90A1 Next Generation Assault Rifle
Sidearm - Jericho Handgun
Advanced marksman’s rifle - 7.62mm SVDS Dragunov Sniper Rifle
Body armor - LSI-PPA-05 Tactical Armor
Face protection - Ballistic/Laser Protective Spectacles
Standard weapon for all vehicle crews, pilots, and tank crews: M-103 Lightweight Self-Contained Flame Thrower
Navy
*Twenty Fleets, each comprised of two Groups; each Group is comprised of 1 ADMIRAL HOWITZ Class Aircaft Carrier, 2 Gettysburg Class Guided Missile Battleships, 10 BRND42 - Roman Class Destroyers, 20 Alfredo Stroessner Frigates, 5 Dolphin Class Subs, 1 Ratana-Ka II Class Executive Nuclear Submarine, 5 Boxcar Class Q-Ships, 5 Joe McCarthy Sub Tenders, 2 Francisco Franco Aircraft Tenders, and 5 Persian Gulf Oilers (standard weapon for all crew members is the Hali-37 Assault Rifle)
Air Force
*Twenty Air Armadas, each comprised of ten Wings, each of which are comprised of ten Squadrons; each squadron is comprised of 2 Canadair CF-24 Falcons, 2 Divine Thunder TSA-12Bs, 2 VTA-68 Lancet Multirole Helicopters, 2 RVQA-25 Bandit Unmanned Combat Air Vehicles, 1 AC-10 "Rockhopper Penguin" Attack Helicopter, 1 AC-20 "Penguin" Attack Helicopter, 1 AC-50 "Emperor Penguin" Attack Helicopter, 1 AC-70 "Mountain Penguin" Scout-Attack Helicopter, 2 AH-4 Zealot Light Attack/Observation Helicopters, 2 TC-1000 "Madison" Heavy Transport Helicopters, 2 TC-2000 "Dark Nova" Heavy Assault Transport Helicopters, 1 SZ-4 'Warbird' Long-Range Strategic Bomber, and 1 SZ-6 'Pegasus' Search and Rescue Helicopter (standard weapon for all pilots is the CAR-24 Combat Assault Rifle\Carbine)
Marines
*Thirty Contingents, each comprised of three Corps, each of which are comprised of two Divisions; each division is comprised of 15,000 men, 150 Wolf LAVs, 150 VBL2/4 Utility Vehicles, 200 IPO-35 Badger Light Scout Vehicles, 100 Bradley Infantry Fighting Vehicles, 300 Chevy 750 Technical trucks, and 250 SOV-06 Infantry Fighting Vehicles
Issue Equipment:
Assault rifle - Steyr-Aug assault rifle
Sidearm - Desert Eagle Handgun
Advanced marksman’s rifle - SR-080 "Patriarch" sniper rifle
Body armor - LSI-PPA-03 Concealable Armor
Face protection - Ballistic/Laser Protective Spectacles
Standard weapon for all vehicle crews, pilots, and tank crews: M-103 Lightweight Self-Contained Flame Thrower
National Guard
*Fifteen Corps, each comprised of four Divisions; each division is comprised of 12,500 men, 100 Dragoon Infantry Support Tanks, 50 Roosevelt Heavy Main Battle Tanks, 50 Taft Main Battle Tanks, and 75 SZ-5 'Snarl' Electronics Warfare Aircraft
Issue Equipment:
Assault rifle - M-22 Military/Law Enforcement Assault Rifle
Sidearm - AMP Technical Services DSR-1 .338 Lapua Magnum
Advanced marksman’s rifle - M89SR Sniper Rifle
Body armor - Ranger Body Armor
Face protection - Ballistic/Laser Protective Spectacles
Standard weapon for all vehicle crews, pilots, and tank crews: M203X 40mm Belt-Fed Grenade Launcher
Elite Special Forces
*Twenty-five Contingents, each comprised of two Corps, each of which is comprised of two Divisions; each Division is comprised of 10,000 men, 10 Metal Slug MK II tanks, 100 DC-117A Scimitar Dropships, 100 Panzerkampfwaggen XI BredtSverd Main Battle Tanks, 10,000 Incinérateur 155mm Rapid Fire Artillery, and 1,000 Pearson-Class Main Battle Tanks
Issue Equipment:
Assault rifle - Gauss Rifle
Sidearm - Yarygin PYa / MP-443 "Grach" Pistol
Advanced marksman’s rifle - OSV-96 12.7mm Sniper Rifle
Body armor - Stormrider APS
Face protection - Ballistic/Laser Protective Spectacles
Standard weapon for all vehicle crews, pilots, and tank crews: M-103 Lightweight Self-Contained Flame Thrower
*NOTE: Each man rides a Tripod and wields a gunblade (http://www.geocities.com/mr_whud/gunblade.JPG)
Nuclear Weapons
LGM-56A Apocalyptic Fury Theatre Ballistic Missile launcher X100
Apocalyptic Fury Theatre Ballistic Missiles X100,000
Dirty bomb X50
Atomic bomb X10
'Hellas IV' Thermonuclear Bomb X3
AGM-131 SRAM 2 x100,000
AGM-129 ACM x100,000
B83 (Short range gravity bomb) x100,000
B61 (Short range gravity bomb) x100,000
LGM-30 Minuteman III x10,000
LGM-118A Peacekeeper x10,000
Chemical/Biological Weapons
Anthrax X100 kilograms
Mustard gas X1,000 kilograms
VX nerve gas X100 kilograms
Gabon nerve gas X100 kilograms
Rabies virus x1,000,000 kilograms
Soman (GD) Nerve Agent x2,000 tons
Phosgene (CG) Pulmonary/Choking Agent x2,000 tons
Nitrogen Mustard (HN-2) Blister Agent x2,000 tons
Mustard/Lewisite (HL) Blister Agent (Mixture) x2,000 tons
Lewisite (L) Blister Agent x2,000 tons
Hydrogen Cyanide (AC) Blood Agent x2,000 tons
Tabun (GA) Nerve Agent x2,000 tons
GB-Nerve/Sarin Gas x2,000 tons
VX Nerve Agent x2,000 tons
Ebola Hemorrhagic Fever x1,000,000 vials
Rift Valley Fever x1,000,000 vials
Venezuelan Equine Encephalitis x1,000,000 vials
Non-Nuclear Missiles
'Famistocles' Class Cruise Missile x10,000
Yellow Jacket mini-SAM x1,000,000
GWS.58 Hurricane multi-purpose SAM x100,000
BGM-109 Tomahawk Cruise Missile x1,000,000
P-700 3M-45 Granat x1,000,000
TSM-2 Hawk x1,000,000
TSM-1 Falcon x1,000,000
LRASM-50(Long Range Anti-Surface Missile) x100,000
MLAM-2 Air to Surface Missile x100,000
Shockhound Avenger I air-to-ship; surface-to-ship missile x100,000
Type-V7Q1 (smart bomb) x100,000
Type-V7Q2 (smart bomb) x100,000
Type-V7Q3 (smart bomb) x,100,000
Type-V7Q4 (smart bomb) x100,000
Type-V7Q5 (smart bomb) x100,000
Misc. Weapons
Claymore mine x10,000,000
Anti-Tank Mine x10,000,000
RB Africa Military
Army
*Fifteen Armies, each comprised of six Corps, each comprised of two Divisions; each Division is comprised of 15,000 men, 200 T-125 "Proletariat" Main Battle Tanks, 350 Munich Mobile Anti-tank Vehicles, and 500 Incinérateur 155mm Rapid Fire Artillery
Navy
*Seven Fleets, each comprised of two Groups, each comprised of 15 Rommel Class Battleships, Seydlitz 15 class Cruisers, and 15 Model Class Aircraft Carriers
Air Force
Ten Air Armadas, each comprised of ten Wings, each comprised of ten Squadrons; each Squadron is comprised of 6 Lu-05 Air Superioty Aircraft, 6 Lu-12 Canary Tactical Strike Fighter, 6 SRSB (Short Range Strategic Bomber) Naram-Sins, and 6 RoLu-17 Galician Attack Helicopters
Marines
Fifteen Contingents, each comprised of three Corps, each comprised of two Divisions; each Division is comprised of 15,000 men, 300 MT-280 "Desert Foxes", 150 T-1 Scorpion Main Battle Tanks, and 150 A-1 PAC-RAT Armored Personnel Carriers
Issue Equipment for the RB African Military:
Assault rifle - Hali-37 Assault Rifle
Sidearm - Hol-24 9mm Pistol
Advanced marksman’s rifle - SR-48 Sniper Rifle System
Body armor - Ranger Body Armor
Face protection - Ballistic/Laser Protective Spectacles
Standard weapon for all vehicle crews, pilots, and tank crews: M203X 40mm Belt-Fed Grenade Launcher
RB Asia Military
Army
Twenty Armies, each comprised of six Corps, each comprised of two Divisions; each Division is comprised of 15,000 men, 400 PHX/Chevy M-405 5 ½ Ton Trucks, 200 T-1 Scorpion Main Battle Tanks, 200 M1A4 "King Abrams" tanks, 100 T-125 "Proletariat" Main Battle Tanks, 100 A-1 PAC-RAT Armored Personnel Carriers, and 500 Incinérateur 155mm Rapid Fire Artillery
Navy
Twelve Fleets, each comprised of two Groups, each comprised of 5 Norad Class Super Battleships, 5 BBGN-61 PX-MOD Iowa Class Battleships, 5 CGN-56 Xero Class Guided Missile Cruisers, 5 CG-59 Volcano Class Arsenal Ships, 5
BCGN-84 Vrelck Class Battle Cruisers, 2 Manstein class Destroyers, 4 Model Class Aircraft Carriers, and 4 Seydlitz class Cruisers
Air Force
Twelve Air Armadas, each comprised of ten Wings, each comprised of ten Squadrons; each Squadron is comprised of 3 AH-1A1 SuperCobra II Helicopters, 3 AH-3 Viper Light Attack Helicopters, 2 AH-4 Zealot Light Attack/Observation Helicopters, 2 CH-54B "Skycrane" Cargo Helicopters, 2
SH-65A "Dolphin" ASW/Utility Helicopters, 4 F/A-117X NightHawk Stealth Fighters, 2 A-4X Skyhawk II Light Attack Aircraft, and 2 AV-28 Wraith ESTOVL Attack Aircraft x1,000
Marines
Twenty Contingents, each comprised of three Corps, each comprised of two Divisions; each Division is comprised of 15,000 men, 500 Panzerwerfer M-2000 MRLS, 250 Bratwurst Heavy Infantry Guns, 250 Wolf LAVs, and 500 Incinérateur 155mm Rapid Fire Artillery
Issue Equipment for the RB Asian Military:
Assault rifle - CAR-24 Combat Assault Rifle\Carbine
Sidearm - MK-47 P&R Medusa 8 shot Multi-Caliber Revolver
Advanced marksman’s rifle - NTW-20 Sniper Rifle
Body armor - Ranger Body Armor
Face protection - Ballistic/Laser Protective Spectacles
Standard weapon for all vehicle crews, pilots, and tank crews: M203X 40mm Belt-Fed Grenade Launcher
Roach-Busters
09-04-2005, 00:09
Constitution of Roach-Busters
Preamble
We, the people of the Minnesotan Confederacy, each State acting in its sovereign and independent character, in order to form a permanent federal government, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, with the exception of Shoobans, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the Minnesotan Confederacy of Roach-Busters.
Article I
Section I. All legislative powers herein delegated shall be vested in a Congress of the Minnesotan Confederacy, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.
Sec. 2. (I) The House of Representatives shall be composed of members chosen every fifth year by the people of the several States; and the electors in each State shall be citizens of the Minnesotan Confederacy, and have the qualifications requisite for electors of the most numerous branch of the State Legislature; but no person of foreign birth, of the Shooban race, or who is not a citizen of the Minnesotan Confederacy, shall be allowed to vote for any officer, civil or political, State or Federal. Each state shall have seventy-five Representatives.
(II) No person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained the age of twenty-five years, and be a citizen of the Minnesotan Confederacy, and not be of the Shooban race, and who shall not when elected, be an inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.
(III) When vacancies happen in the representation from any State the executive authority thereof shall issue writs of election to fill such vacancies.
(IV) The House of Representatives shall choose their Speaker and other officers; and shall have the sole power of impeachment; except that any judicial or other Federal officer, resident and acting solely within the limits of any State, may be impeached by a vote of two-thirds of both branches of the Legislature thereof.
Sec. 3. (I) The Senate of the Minnesotan Confederacy shall be composed of fifteen Senators from each State, chosen for five years by the Legislature thereof, at the regular session next immediately preceding the commencement of the term of service; and each Senator shall have one vote.
(II) No person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained the age of thirty years, and be a citizen of the Minnesotan Confederacy, and not be of the Shooban race, and who shall not when elected, be an inhabitant of the State for which he shall be chosen.
(III) The Vice-President of the Minnesotan Confederacy shall be president of the Senate, but shall have no vote unless they be equally divided.
(IV) The Senate shall choose their other officers; and also a president pro tempore in the absence of the Vice-President, or when he shall exercise the office of President of the Minnesotan Confederacy.
(V) The Senate shall have the sole power to try all impeachments. When sitting for that purpose, they shall be on oath or affirmation. When the President of the Minnesotan Confederacy is tried, the Chief Justice shall preside; and no person shall be convicted without the concurrence of two-thirds of the members present.
(VI) Judgment in cases of impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from office, and disqualification to hold any office of honor, trust, or profit under the Minnesotan Confederacy; but the party convicted shall, nevertheless, be liable and subject to indictment, trial, judgment, and punishment according to law.
Sec. 4. (I) The times, places, and manner of holding elections for Senators and Representatives shall be prescribed in each State by the Legislature thereof, subject to the provisions of this Constitution; but the Congress may, at any time, by law, make or alter such regulations, except as to the times and places of choosing Senators
(II) The Congress shall assemble at least once in every year; and such meeting shall be on the first Monday in January, unless they shall, by law, appoint a different day.
Sec. 5. (I) Each House shall be the judge of the elections, returns, and qualifications of its own members, and a majority of each shall constitute a quorum to do business; but a smaller number may adjourn from day to day, and may be authorized to compel the attendance of absent members, in such manner and under such penalties as each House may provide.
(II) Each House may determine the rules of its proceedings, punish its members for disorderly behavior, and, with the concurrence of two-thirds of the whole number, expel a member.
(III) Each House shall keep a journal of its proceedings, and from time to time publish the same, excepting such parts as may in their judgment require secrecy; and the yeas and nays of the members of either House, on any question, shall, at the desire of one-fifth of those present, be entered on the journal.
(IV) Neither House, during the session of Congress, shall, without the consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other place than that in which the two Houses shall be sitting.
Sec. 6. (I) The Senators and Representatives shall receive a compensation for their services, to be ascertained by law, and paid out of the Treasury of the Minnesotan Confederacy. They shall, in all cases, except treason, felony, and breach of the peace, be privileged from arrest during their attendance at the session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any speech or debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other place. No Senator or Representative shall, during the time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil office under the authority of the Minnesotan Confederacy of Roach-Busters, which shall have been created, or the emoluments whereof shall have been increased during such time; and no person holding any office under the Confederate States shall be a member of either House during his continuance in office. But Congress may, by law, grant to the principal officer in each of the Executive Departments a seat upon the floor of either House, with the privilege of discussing any measures appertaining to his department.
Sec. 7. (I) All bills for raising revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with amendments, as on other bills.
(II) Every bill which shall have passed both Houses, shall, before it becomes a law, be presented to the President of the Minnesotan Confederacy; if he approve, he shall sign it; but if not, he shall return it, with his objections, to that House in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the objections at large on their journal, and proceed to reconsider it. If, after such reconsideration, two-thirds of that House shall agree to pass the bill, it shall be sent, together with the objections, to the other House, by which it shall likewise be reconsidered, and if approved by two-thirds of that House, it shall become a law. But in all such cases, the votes of both Houses shall be determined by yeas and nays, and the names of the persons voting for and against the bill shall be entered on the journal of each House respectively. If any bill shall not be returned by the President within ten days (Saturdays and Sundays excepted) after it shall have been presented to him, the same shall be a law, in like manner as if he had signed it, unless the Congress, by their adjournment, prevent its return; in which case it shall not be a law. The President may approve any appropriation and disapprove any other appropriation in the same bill. In such case he shall, in signing the bill, designate the appropriations disapproved; and shall return a copy of such appropriations, with his objections, to the House in which the bill shall have originated; and the same proceedings shall then be had as in case of other bills disapproved by the President.
(III) Every order, resolution, or vote, to which the concurrence of both Houses may be necessary (except on a question of adjournment) shall be presented to the President of the Minnesotan Confederacy; and before the same shall take effect, shall be approved by him; or, being disapproved by him, shall be re-passed by two-thirds of both Houses, according to the rules and limitations prescribed in case of a bill.
Sec. 8. The Congress shall have power-
(I) To lay and collect taxes, duties, imposts, and excises for revenue, necessary to pay the debts, provide for the common defense, and carry on the Government of the Minnesotan Confederacy; but no bounties shall be granted from the Treasury; nor shall any duties or taxes on importations from foreign nations be laid to promote or foster any branch of industry; and all duties, imposts, and excises shall be uniform throughout the Minnesotan Confederacy.
(II) To borrow money on the credit of the Minnesotan Confederacy.
(III) To regulate commerce with foreign nations and among the several States; but neither this, nor any other clause contained in the Constitution, shall ever be construed to delegate the power to Congress to appropriate money for any internal improvement intended to facilitate commerce; except for the purpose of furnishing lights, beacons, and buoys, and other aids to navigation upon the coasts, and the improvement of harbors and the removing of obstructions in river navigation; in all which cases such duties shall be laid on the navigation facilitated thereby as may be necessary to pay the costs and expenses thereof.
(IV) To establish uniform laws of naturalization, and uniform laws on the subject of bankruptcies, throughout the Minnesotan Confederacy; but no law of Congress shall discharge any debt contracted before the passage of the same.
(V) To coin money, regulate the value thereof, and of foreign coin, and fix the standard of weights and measures.
(VI) To provide for the punishment of counterfeiting the securities and current coin of the Minnesotan Confederacy.
(VII) To establish post offices and post routes; but the expenses of the Post Office Department, after the 1st day of March in the year two thousand and five, shall be paid out of its own revenues.
(VIII) To promote the progress of science and useful arts, by securing for limited times to authors and inventors the exclusive right to their respective writings and discoveries.
(IX) To constitute tribunals inferior to the Supreme Court.
(X) To define and punish piracies and felonies committed on the high seas, and offenses against the law of nations.
(XI) To declare war, grant letters of marquee and reprisal, and make rules concerning captures on land and water.
(XII) To raise and support armies; but no appropriation of money to that use shall be for a longer term than ten years.
(XIII) To provide and maintain a navy.
(XIV) To make rules for the government and regulation of the land and naval forces.
(XV) To provide for calling forth the militia to execute the laws of the Minnesotan Confederacy, suppress Shooban slave insurrections, and repel invasions.
(XVI) To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining the militia, and for governing such part of them as may be employed in the service of the Minnesotan Confederacy; reserving to the States, respectively, the appointment of the officers, and the authority of training the militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress.
(XVII) To exercise exclusive legislation, in all cases whatsoever, over such district (not exceeding ten miles square) as may, by cession of one or more States and the acceptance of Congress, become the seat of the Government of the Minnesotan Confederacy; and to exercise like authority over all places purchased by the consent of the Legislature of the State in which the same shall be, for the erection of forts, magazines, arsenals, dockyards, and other needful buildings.
(XVIII) To make all laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into execution the foregoing powers, and all other powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the Minnesotan Confederacy, or in any department or officer thereof.
Sec. 9. (I) The importation of Shoobans from any foreign country other than the slaveholding States or Territories of the Minnesotan Confederacy, is hereby forbidden; and Congress is required to pass such laws as shall effectually prevent the same.
(II) Congress shall also have power to prohibit the introduction of slaves from any State not a member of, or Territory not belonging to this Confederacy.
(III) The privilege of the writ of habeas corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in cases of rebellion or invasion the public safety may require it.
(IV) No bill of attainder, ex post facto law, or law denying or impairing the right of property in Shooban slaves shall be passed.
(V) No capitation or other direct tax shall be laid, unless in proportion to the census or enumeration hereinbefore directed to be taken.
(VI) No tax or duty shall be laid on articles exported from any State, except by a vote of two-thirds of both Houses.
(VII) No preference shall be given by any regulation of commerce or revenue to the ports of one State over those of another.
(VIII) No money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in consequence of appropriations made by law; and a regular statement and account of the receipts and expenditures of all public money shall be published from time to time.
(IX) Congress shall appropriate no money from the Treasury except by a vote of two-thirds of both Houses, taken by yeas and nays, unless it be asked and estimated for by some one of the heads of departments and submitted to Congress by the President; or for the purpose of paying its own expenses and contingencies; or for the payment of claims against the Minnesotan Confederacy, the justice of which shall have been judicially declared by a tribunal for the investigation of claims against the Government, which it is hereby made the duty of Congress to establish.
(X) All bills appropriating money shall specify in Federal currency the exact amount of each appropriation and the purposes for which it is made; and Congress shall grant no extra compensation to any public contractor, officer, agent, or servant, after such contract shall have been made or such service rendered.
(XI) No title of nobility shall be granted by the Minnesotan Confederacy, except unto the President; and no person holding any office of profit or trust under them shall, without the consent of the Congress, accept of any present, emolument, office, or title of any kind whatever, from any king, prince, or foreign state.
(XII) Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press, unless when in cases of rebellion or invasion the public safety may require it, or when the speech or press be libelous, subversive, or leftist-oriented; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble and petition the Government for a redress of grievances, unless when in cases of rebellion or invasion the public safety may require it, or if the assemblers subscribe to a left-wing ideology. The aforesaid rights are not to be granted to members of the Shooban race.
(XIII) A well-regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed, unless when in cases of rebellion or invasion the public safety may require it. Congress shall make no law permitting one of the Shooban race to keep and bear arms.
(XIV) No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house without the consent of the owner unless when in cases of rebellion or invasion the public safety may require it. Soldiers may be quartered in a Shooban’s house, with or without the Shooban’s consent.
(XV) The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, unless when in cases of rebellion or invasion the public safety may require it; and no warrants shall issue but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched and the persons or things to be seized. Shoobans’ property shall enjoy no such security.
(XVI) No person shall be held to answer for a capital or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a grand jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the militia, when in actual service in time of war or public danger, or if the accused be Shooban race; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb, unless the person be of the Shooban race; nor be compelled, in any criminal case, to be a witness against himself, unless the person be Shooban race; nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law, unless the person be of the Shooban race; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation, unless the person be of the Shooban race.
(XVII) In all criminal prosecutions, except when the accused be a member of the Shooban race, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor; and to have the assistance of counsel for his defense. However, with the written consent of the Secretary of Law and Order, these rights may be suspended.
(XVIII) In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed five hundred dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, unless the accused person be of the Shooban race; and no fact so tried by a jury shall be otherwise re-examined in any court of the Minnesotan Confederacy, than according to the rules of common law.
(XIX) Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted, without the Secretary of Law and Order‘s written consent. If the accused person be of the Shooban race, excessive bail shall be required, excessive fines imposed, and cruel and unusual punishment inflicted.
(XX) Every law, or resolution having the force of law, shall relate to but one subject, and that shall be expressed in the title.
Sec. 10. (I) No State shall enter into any treaty, alliance, or confederation; grant letters of marquee and reprisal; coin money; make anything but gold and silver coin a tender in payment of debts; pass any bill of attainder, or ex post facto law, or law impairing the obligation of contracts; or grant any title of nobility.
(II) No State shall, without the consent of the Congress, lay any imposts or duties on imports or exports, except what may be absolutely necessary for executing its inspection laws; and the net produce of all duties and imposts, laid by any State on imports, or exports, shall be for the use of the Treasury of the Minnesotan Confederacy; and all such laws shall be subject to the revision and control of Congress.
(III) No State shall, without the consent of Congress, lay any duty on tonnage, except on seagoing vessels, for the improvement of its rivers and harbors navigated by the said vessels; but such duties shall not conflict with any treaties of the Minnesotan Confederacy with foreign nations; and any surplus revenue thus derived shall, after making such improvement, be paid into the common treasury. Nor shall any State keep troops or ships of war in time of peace, enter into any agreement or compact with another State, or with a foreign power, or engage in war, unless actually invaded, or in such imminent danger as will not admit of delay. But when any river divides or flows through two or more States they may enter into compacts with each other to improve the navigation thereof.
ARTICLE II
Section I. (I) The executive power shall be vested in a President of the Minnesotan Confederacy of Roach-Busters. He and the Vice-President shall hold their offices for the term of ten years. The President and Vice-President shall be elected as follows:
(II) Each State shall appoint, in such manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a number of electors equal to the whole number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress; but no Senator or Representative or person holding an office of trust or profit under the Minnesotan Confederacy shall be appointed an elector.
(III) The electors shall meet in their respective States and vote by ballot for President and Vice-President, one of whom, at least, shall not be an inhabitant of the same State with themselves; they shall name in their ballots the person voted for as President, and in distinct ballots the person voted for as Vice-President, and they shall make distinct lists of all persons voted for as President, and of all persons voted for as Vice President, and of the number of votes for each, which lists they shall sign and certify, and transmit, sealed, to the seat of the Government of the Minnesotan Confederacy, directed to the President of the Senate; the President of the Senate shall, in the presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the certificates, and the votes shall then be counted; the person having the greatest number of votes for President shall be the President, if such number be a majority of the whole number of electors appointed; and if no person have such majority, then from the persons having the highest numbers, not exceeding three, on the list of those voted for as President, the House of Representatives shall choose immediately, by ballot, the President. But in choosing the President the votes shall be taken by States, the representation from each State having one vote; a quorum for this purpose shall consist of a member or members from two-thirds of the States, and a majority of all the States shall be necessary to a choice. And if the House of Representatives shall not choose a President, whenever the right of choice shall devolve upon them, before the fourth Monday of the following month, then the Vice-President shall act as President, as in case of the death, or other constitutional disability of the President.
(IV) The person having the greatest number of votes as Vice-President shall be the Vice-President, if such number be a majority of the whole number of electors appointed; and if no person have a majority, then, from the two highest numbers on the list, the Senate shall choose the Vice-President; a quorum for the purpose shall consist of two-thirds of the whole number of Senators, and a majority of the whole number shall be necessary to a choice.
(V) But no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the Confederate States.
(VI) The Congress may determine the time of choosing the electors, and the day on which they shall give their votes; which day shall be the same throughout the Minnesotan Confederacy.
(VII) No person except a natural-born citizen of the Minnesotan Confederacy, or a citizen thereof at the time of the adoption of this Constitution, or a citizen thereof born in the Minnesotan Confederacy prior to the 1st of May, 1990, shall be eligible to the office of President; neither shall any person be eligible to that office who shall not have attained the age of thirty-five years, and not be of the Shooban race, and been fourteen years a resident within the limits of the Minnesotan Confederacy, as they may exist at the time of his election.
(VIII) In case of the removal of the President from office, or of his death, resignation, or inability to discharge the powers and duties of said office, the same shall devolve on the Vice-President; and the Congress may, by law, provide for the case of removal, death, resignation, or inability, both of the President and Vice-President, declaring what officer shall then act as President; and such officer shall act accordingly until the disability be removed or a President shall be elected.
(IX) The President shall, at stated times, receive for his services a compensation, which shall neither be increased nor diminished during the period for which he shall have been elected; and he shall not receive within that period any other emolument from the Confederate States, or any of them.
(X) Before he enters on the execution of his office he shall take an oath of affirmation.
Sec. 2. (I) The President shall be Commander-in-Chief of the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Elite Special Forces of the Minnesotan Confederacy, and of the militia of the several States, when called into the actual service of the Minnesotan Confederacy; he may require the opinion, in writing, of the principal officer in each of the Executive Departments, upon any subject relating to the duties of their respective offices; and he shall have power to grant reprieves and pardons for offenses against the Minnesotan Confederacy, except in cases of impeachment.
(II) He shall have power, by and with the advice and consent of the Senate, to make treaties; provided two-thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the advice and consent of the Senate shall appoint, ambassadors, other public ministers and consuls, judges of the Supreme Court, and all other officers of the Minnesotan Confederacy whose appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by law; but the Congress may, by law, vest the appointment of such inferior officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the courts of law, or in the heads of departments.
(III) The principal officer in each of the Executive Departments, and all persons connected with the diplomatic service, may be removed from office at the pleasure of the President. All other civil officers of the Executive Departments may be removed at any time by the President, or other appointing power, when their services are unnecessary, or for dishonesty, incapacity. inefficiency, misconduct, or neglect of duty; and when so removed, the removal shall be reported to the Senate, together with the reasons therefore.
(IV) The President shall have power to fill all vacancies that may happen during the recess of the Senate, by granting commissions which shall expire at the end of their next session; but no person rejected by the Senate shall be reappointed to the same office during their ensuing recess.
(V)The President shall have the power to disband Congress, declare martial law, and assume full control of the executive, legislative, and judicial branches, with the consent of two-thirds of Congress. This power shall only be granted to the President in times of dire emergency or when he deems it necessary.
Sec. 3. (I) The President shall, from time to time, give to the Congress information of the state of the Minnesotan Confederacy, and recommend to their consideration such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them; and in case of disagreement between them, with respect to the time of adjournment, he may adjourn them to such time as he shall think proper; he shall receive ambassadors and other public ministers; he shall take care that the laws be faithfully executed, and shall commission all the officers of the Minnesotan Confederacy.
Sec. 4. (I) The President, Vice-President, and all civil officers of the Minnesotan Confederacy, shall be removed from office on impeachment for and conviction of treason, bribery, or other high crimes and misdemeanors.
ARTICLE III
Section I. (I) The judicial power of the Minnesotan Confederacy shall be vested in one Supreme Court, and in such inferior courts as the Congress may, from time to time, ordain and establish. The judges, both of the Supreme and inferior courts, shall hold their offices during good behavior, and shall, at stated times, receive for their services a compensation which shall not be diminished during their continuance in office. The Supreme Court shall be composed of fifteen justices. Fourteen of the justices shall be popularly elected by the people; the Chief Justice shall be appointed by the President.
Sec. 2. (I) The judicial power shall extend to all cases arising under this Constitution, the laws of the Minnesotan Confederacy, and treaties made, or which shall be made, under their authority; to all cases affecting ambassadors, other public ministers and consuls; to all cases of admiralty and maritime jurisdiction; to controversies to which the Minnesotan Confederacy shall be a party; to controversies between two or more States; between a State and citizens of another State, where the State is plaintiff; between citizens claiming lands under grants of different States; and between a State or the citizens thereof, and foreign states, citizens, or subjects; but no State shall be sued by a citizen or subject of any foreign state.
(II) In all cases affecting ambassadors, other public ministers and consuls, and those in which a State shall be a party, the Supreme Court shall have original jurisdiction. In all the other cases before mentioned, the Supreme Court shall have appellate jurisdiction both as to law and fact, with such exceptions and under such regulations as the Congress shall make.
(III) The trial of all crimes, except in cases of impeachment, shall be by jury, and such trial shall be held in the State where the said crimes shall have been committed; but when not committed within any State, the trial shall be at such place or places as the Congress may by law have directed.
Sec. 3. (I) Treason against the Minnesotan Confederacy shall consist only in levying war against it, or in adhering to its enemies, giving them aid and comfort. No person shall be convicted of treason unless on the testimony of two witnesses to the same overt act, or on confession in open court. Any person convicted of treason shall be castrated, flogged one thousand times in public, have every limb amputated, and be disemboweled and decapitated, in front of the general public.
ARTICLE IV
Section I. (I) Full faith and credit shall be given in each State to the public acts, records, and judicial proceedings of every other State; and the Congress may, by general laws, prescribe the manner in which such acts, records, and proceedings shall be proved, and the effect thereof.
Sec. 2. (I) The citizens of each State shall be entitled to all the privileges and immunities of citizens in the several States; and shall have the right of transit and sojourn in any State of this Confederacy, with their slaves and other property; and the right of property in said slaves shall not be thereby impaired.
(II) A person charged in any State with treason, felony, or other crime against the laws of such State, who shall flee from justice, and be found in another State, shall, on demand of the executive authority of the State from which he fled, be delivered up, to be removed to the State having jurisdiction of the crime.
(III) No slave or other person held to service or labor in any State or Territory of the Minnesotan Confederacy, under the laws thereof, escaping or lawfully carried into another, shall, in consequence of any law or regulation therein, be discharged from such service or labor; but shall be delivered up on claim of the party to whom such slave belongs, or to whom such service or labor may be due.
Sec. 3. (I) Other States may be admitted into this Confederacy by a vote of two-thirds of the whole House of Representatives and two-thirds of the Senate, the Senate voting by States; but no new State shall be formed or erected within the jurisdiction of any other State, nor any State be formed by the junction of two or more States, or parts of States, without the consent of the Legislatures of the States concerned, as well as of the Congress.
(II) The Congress shall have power to dispose of and make all needful rules and regulations concerning the property of the Minnesotan Confederacy, including the lands thereof.
(III) The Minnesotan Confederacy may acquire new territory; and Congress shall have power to legislate and provide governments for the inhabitants of all territory belonging to the Minnesotan Confederacy, lying without the limits of the several Sates; and may permit them, at such times, and in such manner as it may by law provide, to form States to be admitted into the Minnesotan Confederacy of Roach-Busters. In all such territory the institution of Shooban slavery, as it now exists in the Minnesotan Confederacy, shall be recognized and protected be Congress and by the Territorial government; and the inhabitants of the several States and Territories shall have the right to take to such Territory any slaves lawfully held by them in any of the States or Territories of the Confederate States.
(IV) The Confederate States shall guarantee to every State that now is, or hereafter may become, a member of this Confederacy, a secular, capitalist, republican form of government; and shall protect each of them against invasion; and on application of the Legislature or of the Executive when the Legislature is not in session, against domestic violence.
ARTICLE V
Section I. (I) Upon the demand of any three States, legally assembled in their several conventions, the Congress shall summon a convention of all the States, to take into consideration such amendments to the Constitution as the said States shall concur in suggesting at the time when the said demand is made; and should any of the proposed amendments to the Constitution be agreed on by the said convention, voting by States, and the same be ratified by the Legislatures of two- thirds of the several States, or by conventions in two-thirds thereof, as the one or the other mode of ratification may be proposed by the general convention, they shall thenceforward form a part of this Constitution. But no State shall, without its consent, be deprived of its equal representation in the Senate.
ARTICLE VI
I. The Government established by this Constitution is the successor of the Provisional Government of the Minnesotan Confederacy of Roach-Busters, and all the laws passed by the latter shall continue in force until the same shall be repealed or modified; and all the officers appointed by the same shall remain in office until their successors are appointed and qualified, or the offices abolished.
II. All debts contracted and engagements entered into before the adoption of this Constitution shall be as valid against the Minnesotan Confederacy under this Constitution, as under the Provisional Government.
III. This Constitution, and the laws of the Minnesotan Confederacy made in pursuance thereof, and all treaties made, or which shall be made, under the authority of the Confederate States, shall be the supreme law of the land; and the judges in every State shall be bound thereby, anything in the constitution or laws of any State to the contrary notwithstanding.
IV. The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial officers, both of the Minnesotan Confederacy and of the several States, shall be bound by oath or affirmation to support this Constitution; but no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the Minnesotan Confederacy.
V. The enumeration, in the Constitution, of certain rights shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people of the several States.
VI. The powers not delegated to the Confederate States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States, respectively, or to the people thereof.
ARTICLE VII
I. The ratification of the conventions of five States shall be sufficient for the establishment of this Constitution between the States so ratifying the same.
II. When five States shall have ratified this Constitution, in the manner before specified, the Congress under the Provisional Constitution shall prescribe the time for holding the election of President and Vice-President; and for the meeting of the Electoral College; and for counting the votes, and inaugurating the President. They shall, also, prescribe the time for holding the first election of members of Congress under this Constitution, and the time for assembling the same. Until the assembling of such Congress, the Congress under the Provisional Constitution shall continue to exercise the legislative powers granted them; not extending beyond the time limited by the Constitution of the Provisional Government.
Adopted unanimously by the Congress of the Minnesotan Confederation, Botswana, Chad, Cote d‘Ivoire, East Timor, Ghana, Liberia, Mali, Myanmar, Nicaragua, Philippines, Rhodesia, Sierra Leone, and Thailand, sitting in convention at the capitol, the city of RB City, on the seventh day of April, in the year two thousand and five.