NationStates Jolt Archive

Presidential Palace, RB City, the Pest Control Company of Roach-Busters


"For those of you who haven't heard the exciting news, I am now the proud papa of a ravishing, endearing, and charming young lady who has really wrapped me around her lovely little finger. Other than my beloved wife, she is the greatest thing I have. I am too happy for words, and to show it, I will be throwing a huge party. The party will have it all- swimming pools, video games, dart boards, go-kart racing tracks, movie theaters, basketball and tennis courts, a football field, a golf course, a comedy club, a lake for canoeing, a fine art museum, a comedy club, some amusement park rides, plenty of gorgeous women for all you single folks, and of course, a hunting ground full of more Shoobans than we could care to count. Hope to see you there!"

-Generalissimo J.L.

May I come?

-Shah Khosru III

May I come?

-Shah Khosru III


Of course! All my best friends are welcome!

-Generalissimo J.L.

Anyone else?

OOC: Can I come?

OOC: Can I come?

Sure!

While Jack is currently indisposed, I humbly request to represent Kordo at this grand celebration. After all, being in a undisclosed location isn’t as exciting as it sounds.

-Senior Presidential Advisor Henry Rey

While Jack is currently indisposed, I humbly request to represent Kordo at this grand celebration. After all, being in a undisclosed location isn’t as exciting as it sounds.

-Senior Presidential Advisor Henry Rey

We look forward to seeing you there.

-Generalissimo J.L.

"Did you say women? Maybe I should come."-Maia Li

(ooc: the Great Leader's daughter is a hardcore post-feminist butch lesbian (that actually manages to look good), she's also about 1/2 human, so she looks human (except for the tail).)

*the Great Leader drags Maia off the camera.*

*This can be heard off camera.*

"Maia, stop it, you know these right wing nutjobs are homophobic prudes and even worse, Christians."

"Ok, sorry, sorry, but come on, I can't keep going around killing foreign leaders ALL the time."

" Ok, whatever... Oh shit, the camera's still on?"

*The Great Leader smashes the webcam.*

"Did you say women? Maybe I should come."-Maia Li

(ooc: the Great Leader's daughter is a hardcore post-feminist butch lesbian (that actually manages to look good), she's also about 1/2 human, so she looks human (except for the tail).)

*the Great Leader drags Maia off the camera.*

*This can be heard off camera.*

"Maia, stop it, you know these right wing nutjobs are homophobic prudes and even worse, Christians."

"Ok, sorry, sorry, but come on, I can't keep going around killing foreign leaders ALL the time."

" Ok, whatever... Oh shit, the camera's still on?"

*The Great Leader smashes the webcam.*

Feel free to come if you wish, guys.

-Generalissimo J.L.

Are you guys coming, or...?

TK Termite is already enjoying himself, getting blind drunk and nearly drowning twice in the lake.

I would be delighted to attend, if only to save that poor girl from improper parenthood and learning how to mercilessly hunt Shoobans. We don't need a junior you on this planet.

Paolo Fernando Orbitello
Junior Deputy Prime Minister

I would be delighted to attend, if only to save that poor girl from improper parenthood and learning how to mercilessly hunt Shoobans. We don't need a junior you on this planet.

Paolo Fernando Orbitello
Junior Deputy Prime Minister

The young lady is hardly in need of assistance from a coprophiliac clod of garbage like yourself. I am doing an outstanding job parenting her, and she has a natural affinity for Shooban hunting. To deprive her of this, her favorite sport, would utterly crush her spirit.

-Generalissimo J.L.

"I'll come in due time, meanwhile, I need to see if the XP is working on Steve."-The Great Leader Li.

"I'll come in a bit."-Maia

Official Statement from Shogun Tomzilla the First:

My I come? And if so, is there a limit on the amount of Shoobans you can shoot?

"I'll come in due time, meanwhile, I need to see if the XP is working on Steve."-The Great Leader Li.

"I'll come in a bit."-Maia

Looking forward to seeing you there.

-Generalissimo J.L.

My I come?

Yes.

-Generalissimo J.L.

Is there a limit on the amount of Shoobans you can shoot?

No.

-Generalissimo J.L.

I'll never figure you out J.L. You do something something nice and humane by adopting a child, yet you continue to murder a quasi human race.

-Ryusaki

A coprophiliac clod of garbage. Wow, I see you finally started looking in the thesaurus for once. Nice work.

-P.F.O.

I'll never figure you out J.L. You do something something nice and humane by adopting a child, yet you continue to murder a quasi human race.

-Ryusaki

Shoobans are not 'quasi human,' they are the lowest lifeform that has ever existed, even lower than communists, Nazis, Sarzonians, and Sanctaphraxians.

-Generalissimo J.L.

A coprophiliac clod of garbage. Wow, I see you finally started looking in the thesaurus for once. Nice work.

-P.F.O.

(OOC: That was 100% IC btw, Tim. ;))

IC:


Looking in a thesaurus is far more refreshing than looking at that ugly mug meant to pass off as your face.

-Generalissimo J.L.

Imperial Message to Generalissimo J.L.

The Emperor Akarth Von Antheron of The Empire of Deatharon wishes to join in the celebration. He asks does he need to bring his own tatical sniper rifle for the hunt or will one be provided?

Imperial communications officer Col. Sanders

Official Imperial Statement

Emperor Antonius wishes to attend, and offers to supply the booze.

You are all welcome to attend. And yes, please bring plenty of booze. I'm not a drinker myself, but many of my guests are.

-Generalissimo J.L.

(OOC: That was 100% IC btw, Tim. ;))

[ OOC: Obviously, I know you love me ;) - my stuff is 100% IC as well, but you know that already. ]

Oh, that's a laugh. Here's what I want you to do - look up your ass for a better joke and come back to me when you find one.

- P.F.O.

[ OOC: Obviously, I know you love me ;) - my stuff is 100% IC as well, but you know that already. ]

Oh, that's a laugh. Here's what I want you to do - look up your ass for a better joke and come back to me when you find one.

- P.F.O.

I wasn't intending to be humorous, you brainless lout. Why don't you pull your head out of your hairy ass and use what little brainpower that tiny morsel of shit can muster and at least attempt to think?

-Generalissimo J.L.

Maia HALO jumped on the grounds of J.L's palace with 10 human Imperial Guards and 8 Lizard Imperial Guards.

"Hello there."

Maia HALO jumped on the grounds of J.L's palace with 10 human Imperial Guards and 8 Lizard Imperial Guards.

"Hello there."

The Generalissimo bowed his head. "Hello," he said curtly, extending his hand. "Welcome to my palace. This pulchritudinous lady is my dear wife, Thiensiri, and this lovely girl is my daughter, Rinoa."

Thiensiri bowed. Rinoa blushed and waved shyly.

The skies over the RB presidential palace darkened, as a fleet of massive zeppelins glided overhead. One, slightly larger than the rest touched down before the majestic home of the Generallissimo. As the door opened, a silhouette appeared before a yellowish glow, and began to move forward.

The silhouette stepped out of the cabin, revealing itself to be a rather haggard looking man. His unwashed hair hung over his eyes, and a cigarette dangled from the mouth of the derelic, who clutched a bottle of Black Death Vodka. He raised the bottle to his lips, and drained it. Realizing that the bottle was empty, a look of disappointment crossed his face.

"Damn. Alright boys, bring out the emergency reserves!"

Suddenly, each of the zeppelins overhead exploded, and alcohol began to rain down on the assembled guests. The derelict, in reality Emperor Antonius I of Generia, turned his mouth skyward to catch the vodka rain.

Meanwhile, several enormous fuel trucks careened towards the assembly, halting directly in front of the palace. The trucks contained gallons upon gallons of all manner of liquor, a gift from the most intoxicated world leader on the face of the Earth.

"H-Hello, Uncle Antonius," Rinoa said, albeit bashfully. An extremely cute smile appeared on her face. She reached forward slowly, shyly, to shake his hand.

"H-Hello, Uncle Antonius," Rinoa said, albeit bashfully. An extremely cute smile appeared on her face. She reached forward slowly, shyly, to shake his hand.

"How's it goin', kiddo?"

Antonius, brushing away ceremonial formality for his technical niece, swept the girl up in a fatherly hug. Putting her back on her feet, he reached into his coat pocket and produced a small box.

"Welcome to the family."

He tossed the box to her. In it was contained a magnificent Generian ruby necklace that Antonius had come by decades ago while fighting rebels in Mozambique.

"How's it goin', kiddo?"

Antonius, brushing away ceremonial formality for his technical niece, swept the girl up in a fatherly hug. Putting her back on her feet, he reached into his coat pocket and produced a small box.

"Welcome to the family."

He tossed the box to her. In it was contained a magnificent Generian ruby necklace that Antonius had come by decades ago while fighting rebels in Mozambique.

She giggled. "Thanks." She gave him a quick but affectionate peck on the cheek.

J.L. stepped forward, smiling broadly. "Ahhh, Antonius, how goes it?" he asked. He handed Antonius a cigar.

Thiensiri smiled and said, "Long time no see, Mr. Antonius."

Princess Heidi Equanant-Kort walked into the party room wearing a tank top and blue jeans. Not fit for a princess, but she knew that this was no ball. She spotted TK Termite in the crowd, dancing around drunkenly. She approached him and grabbed him by the shirt, dragging him away.

"Hey! What teh fuck are you doing?"

"What are YOU doing? My grandfather started the prohibition laws for a reason and in case you haven't noticed they're still in effect."

"Yeah, well, thith ith a plath ware I kin drink. My phather was from RB and he wath a thuccethful man. He was altho a drunk."

"But YOU aren't your father. YOU are our vice-president."

"Ath long ath the preth ain't here nobody'll find out."

"Good point. Carry on."

She pushed him away and he fell on his ass.

"I'm almotht afraid of wath might happen to that gal."
He went back to partying.

Emperor Akarth Von Antheron and his entourage of 10 Imperial bodyguards and two personal addendants land near the party and walk towards the Gen. J.L. and personal congratluate him and thanks for the invation to his party and then asks if his guards can hunt as well.

Maia nodded.

She then thought: "Oooh, she's pretty."

Heidi approached Rinoa, awaiting her turn to finally meet her.

J.L. nodded, and his bodyguards began handing out rifles. He rubbed his hands together. "So...who's up for some Shooban hunting?"

Heidi approached Rinoa, awaiting her turn to finally meet her.

"Hello, my name is Rinoa," she said, stepping forward diffidently. "Nice to...um...nice to m-meet you."

She giggled. "Thanks." She gave him a quick but affectionate peck on the cheek.

J.L. stepped forward, smiling broadly. "Ahhh, Antonius, how goes it?" he asked. He handed Antonius a cigar.

Thiensiri smiled and said, "Long time no see, Mr. Antonius."

Antonius gratefully accepted the cigar and popped it in his mouth, striking a match against his cheek and raising it to the tip.

"Things are good, good. How are you and the wife holding up?"

Antonius, upon seeing the first lady, offered a sweeping and surprisingly elegant bow.

"Milady Thiensiri, it's been too long. How are you?"

TK Termite jumped up and down.
"Oo! Oo! Me! Me!"

"You're so drunk you can hardly hit your moth with the bottle!" Heidi shouted.

"Thath's falth! General, dethpite my drunken thtate, I'm acthually a pretty damn good thot."
----------------
"Apologies for the Vice President, he's very drunk. Green Sun doesn't allow alcahol and he lived in Roach-Buster most of his life, so he was used to being able to drink. After that he went back to Green Sun where he joined the army in a bet and slowly made his way up. A good man, actually, just a little bit looney.
"Anyway, I'm Princess Heidi Equanant-Kort, sister of the Heir to the throne of Green Sun. I've heard many good, and, unfortuneately, many bad things about Roach-Busters and your father. I think you'll become a great face of Roach-Busters. Right now they need one."

Antonius gratefully accepted the cigar and popped it in his mouth, striking a match against his cheek and raising it to the tip.

"Things are good, good. How are you and the wife holding up?"

Antonius, upon seeing the first lady, offered a sweeping and surprisingly elegant bow.

"Milady Thiensiri, it's been too long. How are you?"

"We're great, thanks," J.L. said. He handed Antonius a gun. "Feel up to some Shooban hunting?"

Maia studied the rifle for a bit, then shot a Shooban hiding behind a bush.

2000m away.

She then glanced at Antonius. Typical crusty old drunk who can't give up... Damnit, she thought, you aren't 20 anymore, stop partying like it.

"We're great, thanks," J.L. said. He handed Antonius a gun. "Feel up to some Shooban hunting?"

Antonius accepted the gun with relish.

"You bet."

He looked over at Maia, and offered a sardonic grin.

Rinoa giggled like a little girl at the sight of the dead Shooban, with its docile, stupid, vacant expression, bullet hole in the forehead which blood seeped from, and tongue dangling from its mouth.

Then, she flicked the safety off, peered into a scope, steadied the gun, took a deep breath, waited until the exact split-second was right, and pulled the trigger. A Shooban's decapitated head flew into the air as the purtid creature dropped to its knees, then fell chest-first to the ground. A pool of blood oozed out.

Antonius accepted the gun with relish.

"You bet."

He looked over at Maia, and offered a sardonic grin.

While loading his gun, J.L. asked, "So, how go things in Generia?"

"Anyway, I'm Princess Heidi Equanant-Kort, sister of the Heir to the throne of Green Sun. I've heard many good, and, unfortuneately, many bad things about Roach-Busters and your father. I think you'll become a great face of Roach-Busters. Right now they need one."

"Thanks," Rinoa said. "It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Antonius raised the rifle and plugged a Shooban in the heart. The beast stumbled around for a minute, too dumb to realize it was dead, and then keeled over. Lowering his gun, Antonius replied.

"You know, same old. Limitless wealth and power, parties every night, conquest and glory. The usual. How about here in RB?"

Antonius raised the rifle and plugged a Shooban in the heart. The beast stumbled around for a minute, too dumb to realize it was dead, and then keeled over. Lowering his gun, Antonius replied.

"You know, same old. Limitless wealth and power, parties every night, conquest and glory. The usual. How about here in RB?"

"Oh, you know how it is," J.L. said. "Exploit the poor, smoke like a chimney, eat luscious and lavish meals that clog my arteries, execute commies, enslave new lands, rule with an iron fist, kill Shoobans. The usual."

"You think that'th thomepthing? Jenkinth! Get mah gun!"
----------
"I don't see how the find that entertaining, I think it's brutal. Then again, they were stupid enough to attack The Burnisian Desert. I guess they deserve to die. But with the way he treats them, maybe it's a blessing..." Heidi said. It was more to herself than to Rinoa. Heidi looked at the girl again. There was something about her that unnerved Heidi. She looked up to her father and thought,
She's a zombie. A tool to make himself look good. This man disgusts me. But if Hobo Bob and Shaku want him as their ally, that's them. There's nothing I can do to stop him.

"Anyone want something to drink?" a waiter asked.

"Waiter, please do not give any more to Leiutanant Termite, he's had enough," Heidi told the waiter.

"Yeah, I know when to stop," TK said, finishing the last of the bottle of wine.

"Waiter, please do not give any more to Leiutanant Termite, he's had enough," Heidi told the waiter.

"Yeah, I know when to stop," TK said, finishing the last of the bottle of wine.

"Very well, Miss."

Jenkins delivered the Lieutanant his gun and TK set his bottle down. He shouldered the weapon and stared through the scope for about thirty seconds before firing. He pulled the trigger and no Shooban that they could see dropped. The leaders laughed at his seemingly vain shot. TK started to walk and stopped in front of the crowd.

"You comin?"

"Are you serious?! The first Lady has given birth to a baby girl?!!!" Lanna said, surprisely and loud...

"Yes," answered the foreign affair minister.

"Well, then, quickly go get the gifts and lets get going!" Lanna commanded.

"Yes."

*Lanna calls for a the helicopter and waits for it*

The foreign affairs minister running back towards Lanna with all the gifts for the newly born of Roach-Busters. "Here are all of them."

"Okay, lets go then."

"Yes."

*Runs outside and gets on the helicopter* While on the way to Roach-Busters, Lanna sent an e-mail to J. L.

Sorry, if I'm late... I have been pretty busy with working with the nations in The Province. I'm really happy for you and your wife. I'll get there soon.

Lanna

"Are you serious?! The first Lady has given birth to a baby girl?!!!" Lanna said, surprisely and loud...

"Yes," answered the foreign affair minister.

"Well, then, quickly go get the gifts and lets get going!" Lanna commanded.

"Yes."

*Lanna calls for a the helicopter and waits for it*

The foreign affairs minister running back towards Lanna with all the gifts for the newly born of Roach-Busters. "Here are all of them."

"Okay, lets go then."

"Yes."

*Runs outside and gets on the helicopter* While on the way to Roach-Busters, Lanna sent an e-mail to J. L.

Sorry, if I'm late... I have been pretty busy with working with the nations in The Province. I'm really happy for you and your wife. I'll get there soon.

Lanna


Thank you. I look forward to seeing you there.

-Generalissimo J.L.

The Count was late for the party. So, he had to find other way to get there. A fast way. The Count was at the Transylvania’s base in RB and was heading to one of the hanger near the runway. He stopped in front of a hanger with a F-14 Tomcat in it. The plane was solid black with the Black Wolves symbol on the wings and tail. “Get that thing fired up.” order Count JWolf, as he climbed in the back. Within a couple of minutes, it was in the air. After about 15 minutes, the lone jet was above the palace and the Count ejected. The Count pulled the ripcord and the parachute opened. As the Count glided down towards the palace, a truck with a trailer was at the palace’s gate with something for Rinoa. Then the Count landed near the other and said “Sorry for being late.”

The Count was late for the party. So, he had to find other way to get there. A fast way. The Count was at the Transylvania’s base in RB and was heading to one of the hanger near the runway. He stopped in front of a hanger with a F-14 Tomcat in it. The plane was solid black with the Black Wolves symbol on the wings and tail. “Get that thing fired up.” order Count JWolf, as he climbed in the back. Within a couple of minutes, it was in the air. After about 15 minutes, the lone jet was above the palace and the Count ejected. The Count pulled the ripcord and the parachute opened. As the Count glided down towards the palace, a truck with a trailer was at the palace’s gate with something for Rinoa. Then the Count landed near the other and said “Sorry for being late.”

"Hello, Count," J.L. said.

"Hello, Count," J.L. said.

"Sup, J.L." said the Count, as the truck with the trailer pulled up behind them. "Your little girl gift is in back." Inside the trailer was black stallion with a silvered lined saddle.

Rinoa giggled like a little girl at the sight of the dead Shooban, with its docile, stupid, vacant expression, bullet hole in the forehead which blood seeped from, and tongue dangling from its mouth.

Then, she flicked the safety off, peered into a scope, steadied the gun, took a deep breath, waited until the exact split-second was right, and pulled the trigger. A Shooban's decapitated head flew into the air as the purtid creature dropped to its knees, then fell chest-first to the ground. A pool of blood oozed out.

OOC: That's revolting, both IC and OOC. :p

Antonius reloaded and capped another Shooban.

"J.L., your kid's already a Hell of a shot. What are you feeding her?"

OOC: That's revolting, both IC and OOC. :p

(OOC: What's so revolting about hunting? Millions of people do it IRL. :D)

Antonius reloaded and capped another Shooban.

"J.L., your kid's already a Hell of a shot. What are you feeding her?"

(OOC: Lol, I liked your post about the Shooban being "too dumb to realize it was dead." :D)

IC:


J.L. shrugged. "She drinks three glasses of milk and eight glasses of water a day, eats five servings of fruit, four servings of vegetables, three servings of meat, and ten servings of grain. Plus, she exercises three hours every day."

J.L. shrugged. "She drinks three glasses of milk and eight glasses of water a day, eats five servings of fruit, four servings of vegetables, three servings of meat, and ten servings of grain. Plus, she exercises three hours every day."

"What does she do when not eating or exercising?" asked the Count. "Or does she have the time?"

Suddenly, from the corner of the eye, a horse covered in scaled armor from head to tail and covering the legs with a cloak of metal sat with a rider covered in steel scales of plate, leading to joints made for ease of movement. On the rider's head, was a helmet with a facelike visage, a metal mask of a bearded man while the top of the helmet had a group of exotic feathers flowing down the back, covering the neck. A horn sounded as the horse charged forward with the man waving a shamshir of jewels in the air while the Shoobans ran in fright. With one quick swing, a Shooban would fall over screaming or headless. The rider then came back, galloping back to where the guests were and removed his helmet, revealing the Shah.

"What does she do when not eating or exercising?" asked the Count. "Or does she have the time?"

"Here's her schedule:

6:00 A.M.- Wake up
6:05-6:30 A.M.- Breakfast
6:30-9:30 A.M.- School (home schooled)
9:30-11:30 A.M.- Exercise
11:30 A.M.-12:00 P.M.- Lunch
12:00-2:00 P.M.- Exercise
2:00-3:00 P.M.- Study
3:30-6:00 P.M.- Leisure time (does what she wants)
6:00-6:30 P.M.- Dinner
6:30-9:45 P.M.- Leisure time
9:45-9:50 P.M.- Snack
9:50-10:00 P.M.- Brushes teeth, takes shower
10:00 P.M.-6:00 A.M.- Bed time

And most of her leisure time she spends killing Shoobans," J.L. said.

Suddenly, from the corner of the eye, a horse covered in scaled armor from head to tail and covering the legs with a cloak of metal sat with a rider covered in steel scales of plate, leading to joints made for ease of movement. On the rider's head, was a helmet with a facelike visage, a metal mask of a bearded man while the top of the helmet had a group of exotic feathers flowing down the back, covering the neck. A horn sounded as the horse charged forward with the man waving a shamshir of jewels in the air while the Shoobans ran in fright. With one quick swing, a Shooban would fall over screaming or headless. The rider then came back, galloping back to where the guests were and removed his helmet, revealing the Shah.

Rinoa smiled and threw her arms around Shah Khosru, hugging him tight. "Uncle Shah, I've been looking forward to meeting you so much," she said, excitedly.

Rinoa smiled and threw her arms around Shah Khosru, hugging him tight. "Uncle Shah, I've been looking forward to meeting you so much," she said, excitedly.

The Shah smiled, then handed her a small package from his saddlebag. Enclosed within a leather case stamped with the seal of Parthia, sat an emerald the size of a golf ball carved in a lustrous multifaceted spherical stone.

The Shah smiled, then handed her a small package from his saddlebag. Enclosed within a leather case stamped with the seal of Parthia, sat an emerald the size of a golf ball carved in a lustrous multifaceted spherical stone.

She let out a scream of glee and kissed his cheek. "Oh, thank you so much! I love it!"

J.L. stepped forward. "Ahhh, hello, old friend, are you?"


(OOC: Gotta go. See you guys later. Keep posting, if you want.)

The Shah called a Shooban over and bidding him to kneel down, the Shah stepped on his back in all of his armor before stepping down to the ground when he heard the massive crack as the Shooban collapsed.

"Here's her schedule:

6:00 A.M.- Wake up
6:05-6:30 A.M.- Breakfast
6:30-9:30 A.M.- School (home schooled)
9:30-11:30 A.M.- Exercise
11:30 A.M.-12:00 P.M.- Lunch
12:00-2:00 P.M.- Exercise
2:00-3:00 P.M.- Study
3:30-6:00 P.M.- Leisure time (does what she wants)
6:00-6:30 P.M.- Dinner
6:30-9:45 P.M.- Leisure time
9:45-9:50 P.M.- Snack
9:50-10:00 P.M.- Brushes teeth, takes shower
10:00 P.M.-6:00 A.M.- Bed time

And most of her leisure time she spends killing Shoobans," J.L. said.

"Oh..." said the Count then looking over at the Shah. "I'm unwanted here. She called everybody uncle but me. Maybe I will take your gift back." On the last part, his voice had hints of joking in it.

"Here's her schedule:

6:00 A.M.- Wake up
6:05-6:30 A.M.- Breakfast
6:30-9:30 A.M.- School (home schooled)
9:30-11:30 A.M.- Exercise
11:30 A.M.-12:00 P.M.- Lunch
12:00-2:00 P.M.- Exercise
2:00-3:00 P.M.- Study
3:30-6:00 P.M.- Leisure time (does what she wants)
6:00-6:30 P.M.- Dinner
6:30-9:45 P.M.- Leisure time
9:45-9:50 P.M.- Snack
9:50-10:00 P.M.- Brushes teeth, takes shower
10:00 P.M.-6:00 A.M.- Bed time

And most of her leisure time she spends killing Shoobans," J.L. said.

God, how routine, she needs more exotic things I think. Here's my schedule.

9:00-9:45 A.M.- Get up
9:45-10:00 AM Have brekfast in bed and then washing by two harem girls
10:00 AM-12:00 PM- Either audiences in the throne room or supervising tortures
12:00-12:30 PM- Lunch
12:30-2:00 PM- Ride horses and/or hunt Shoobans
2:00-3:00 PM- Smoke and tea
3:00-3:30 PM- Drive
3:30-6:00 Another smoke and some entertainment
6:00-7:30 P.M.- Dinner (Biweekly banquets can last until 11:00)
7:30 PM-8:00 P.M.- More audiences or signing death warrants
8:00-9:30 PM- Demand laws, make edicts, usually the stuff needed day by day can fit here though sometimes I might work from 9 in the morning until ten at night.
9:30PM-1:15 AM- The Harem
1:15 AM- Go to bed.

(OOC: Lol, I liked your post about the Shooban being "too dumb to realize it was dead." :D)

IC:


J.L. shrugged. "She drinks three glasses of milk and eight glasses of water a day, eats five servings of fruit, four servings of vegetables, three servings of meat, and ten servings of grain. Plus, she exercises three hours every day."

((OOC: Hah, thanks!))

Antonius's eyebrow raised quizzically.

"What about the grain alcohol?"

Without looking, Antonius sent a bullet through a Shooban's left eye, then a second through his right. The beast screamed, despite the fact that its brain had more or less been shredded by hot lead, and ran about for three minutes before collapsing in a bloody heap.

"Oh..." said the Count then looking over at the Shah. "I'm unwanted here. She called everybody uncle but me. Maybe I will take your gift back." On the last part, his voice had hints of joking in it.

"Sorry, Uncle Count, it's just that I'm kinda scared of vampires," she said, sounding a bit guilty. Nonetheless, she rewarded him with a peck on the cheek.

"Uncle Antonius, Uncle Shah, Uncle Count, watch this!" she said. She lifted up a tremendously heavy ax, and, without too much effort, swung it laterally, chopping off a Shooban's arm. It honked shrilly, like a drunken goose, as blood splashed everywhere. She then performed a series of lightning-swift, deadly martial arts techniques, pummeling it rapidly with dozens of blows quicker than the eye could see, beating it into a bloody pulp. She swung her foot in a roundhouse kick, shattering the lower hinge of its jaw and causing all its bottom teeth to fall out. She turned around, ran about forty feet in the opposite direction, then turned back around to face the Shooban. She raced across the field and leapt dramatically into the air, smashing her knee into its face, shattering its nose like glass and putting a dent in its forehead, giving it a serious concussion and killing it instantly. She giggled. "How was that?"

"Sorry, Uncle Count, it's just that I'm kinda scared of vampires," she said, sounding a bit guilty. Nonetheless, she rewarded him with a peck on the cheek.

“It is ok. There is nothing to be afraid of with me.” said the Count, turning to a Shooban servant. “You open that door on the trailer.” he ordered. “Yezz, Cooounz JWolph.” said the Shooban male. The dumb thing walked to the back and opened the door. The black stallion from the Count’s sable looked at the Shooban, “Herez horze, comes herez.” said the Shooban. Saying that pissed the horse off and it charge the Shooban. The dumb thing just stay still and the horse sent the Shooban flying into the air. “Damn it.” said the Count, as he took off running at the horse. He jumped on the side of the trailer and on to the roof. The horse was kicking the Shooban, as the Count jumped off the end of the trailer and on the back of the horse. The horse calmed down and stopped kicking the Shooban. The Count turn the horse around and walked it over to others. He hopped off and said “Nice horse.”

"Uncle Antonius, Uncle Shah, Uncle Count, watch this!" she said. She lifted up a tremendously heavy ax, and, without too much effort, swung it laterally, chopping off a Shooban's arm. It honked shrilly, like a drunken goose, as blood splashed everywhere. She then performed a series of lightning-swift, deadly martial arts techniques, pummeling it rapidly with dozens of blows quicker than the eye could see, beating it into a bloody pulp. She swung her foot in a roundhouse kick, shattering the lower hinge of its jaw and causing all its bottom teeth to fall out. She turned around, ran about forty feet in the opposite direction, then turned back around to face the Shooban. She raced across the field and leapt dramatically into the air, smashing her knee into its face, shattering its nose like glass and putting a dent in its forehead, giving it a serious concussion and killing it instantly. She giggled. "How was that?"

"Two thumbs up." said the Count.

"Two thumbs up." said the Count.

She giggled again. "Thanks."

bump

"Uncle Antonius, Uncle Shah, Uncle Count, watch this!" she said. She lifted up a tremendously heavy ax, and, without too much effort, swung it laterally, chopping off a Shooban's arm. It honked shrilly, like a drunken goose, as blood splashed everywhere. She then performed a series of lightning-swift, deadly martial arts techniques, pummeling it rapidly with dozens of blows quicker than the eye could see, beating it into a bloody pulp. She swung her foot in a roundhouse kick, shattering the lower hinge of its jaw and causing all its bottom teeth to fall out. She turned around, ran about forty feet in the opposite direction, then turned back around to face the Shooban. She raced across the field and leapt dramatically into the air, smashing her knee into its face, shattering its nose like glass and putting a dent in its forehead, giving it a serious concussion and killing it instantly. She giggled. "How was that?"

Maia shook her head.

"That? That was nothing."

Maia appeared not to move at all, a poor Shooban in front her of didn't move either.

The only sign that anything happened was that there was blood on Maia's tailspike.

Then bloody lines began to crisscross the Shooban like in some sort of bad Japanese movie. The Shooban's body collapsed as it literally fell into a hundred little pieces.

Can I come? Better late than armed.

--Cash Hudson, Prince Regent of Freudotopia

Can I come? Better late than armed.

--Cash Hudson, Prince Regent of Freudotopia



Sure.

-Generalissimo J.L.

Suddenly, there was a flash of lighting, and Emperor Helldawg V magically appeared in his scary-looking suit of armor.

Suddenly, there was a flash of lighting, and Emperor Helldawg V magically appeared in his scary-looking suit of armor.

Rinoa's eyes were alight with joy, sparkling like expensive diamonds, as a radiant smile appeared on her face. "Uncle Helldawg!" she said, throwing her arms around him. "I'm so happy to meet you!"

The Generalissimo grinned, and handed Helldawg a pack of cigars. "Ahhh, hello, my friend," he said amicably. "Please, make yourself at home. Kill some Shoobans, if you'd like."

Maia butchered another Shooban in the same manner as above. She wanted to bring Marie (ooc: Marie's her wife, don't you just love sexually liberal nations?) over but she probably wouldn't have liked the crowd anyway.

Then Helldawg appared, his armor wasn't creepy, in fact it was downright tacky and stupid looking. Ugh.

The Shah grabbed a passing Shooban by the neck, and then taking it outside, he threw it feet first into a woodchipper.

Rinoa's eyes were alight with joy, sparkling like expensive diamonds, as a radiant smile appeared on her face. "Uncle Helldawg!" she said, throwing her arms around him. "I'm so happy to meet you!"

The Generalissimo grinned, and handed Helldawg a pack of cigars. "Ahhh, hello, my friend," he said amicably. "Please, make yourself at home. Kill some Shoobans, if you'd like."
Helldawg hugged Rinoa in return and turn to JL.

"Ah, my child, the pleasure is all mine." he said to Rinoa in a warm, grandfatherly manner, "Congradulations my friend!" he said to JL, "I myself have not had the good forturne of having such a lovely young daughter, but I will probably take that up with the wife after I get home." he said with a smile as he lit up a cigar. "Oh, and this is for you," he said to Rinoa, handing her a custom made Gladius.

The sound of a Porsche outside was followed by a series of footsteps.

And then he entered...

"J.L. sorry I'm late. I tried to go to the wrong event. Awful humilating you know."

It was none other than Professor Michael Walter.

"I would be late for my own funeral. Well actually I was early, but I shaln't go into that now."

Then the Professor stopped yabbering, and looked around to see if he was in the right room.

Maia shot another Shooban at 2000m, then turned to J.L and asked: "Where's the sniper rifle my father had delivered here?"

Helldawg hugged Rinoa in return and turn to JL.

"Ah, my child, the pleasure is all mine." he said to Rinoa in a warm, grandfatherly manner, "Congradulations my friend!" he said to JL, "I myself have not had the good forturne of having such a lovely young daughter, but I will probably take that up with the wife after I get home." he said with a smile as he lit up a cigar. "Oh, and this is for you," he said to Rinoa, handing her a custom made Gladius.

"Thanks, Uncle Helldawg," she said, giggling.

J.L. smiled and reached forward to shake his good friend's hand. "Thanks for coming, Helldawg," he said. "Care to do some Shooban hunting?"

The sound of a Porsche outside was followed by a series of footsteps.

And then he entered...

"J.L. sorry I'm late. I tried to go to the wrong event. Awful humilating you know."

It was none other than Professor Michael Walter.

"I would be late for my own funeral. Well actually I was early, but I shaln't go into that now."

Then the Professor stopped yabbering, and looked around to see if he was in the right room.

"Hello, Uncle Professor, er, Uncle Walter, er...what the heck should I call you!?" Rinoa said, sounding befuddled.

"Thanks, Uncle Helldawg," she said, giggling.

J.L. smiled and reached forward to shake his good friend's hand. "Thanks for coming, Helldawg," he said. "Care to do some Shooban hunting?"
"Of course!" he said enthusiastically, picking up a large throwing axe and nailing a Shooban between the eyes, splitting his skull.

"Of course!" he said enthusiastically, picking up a large throwing axe and nailing a Shooban between the eyes, splitting his skull.

J.L. laughed. "Good work, my friend! You will be a most excellent role model for my daughter. She shares our love of hunting Shoobans, as well as our rigid anticommunism."

While lobbing pineapple grenades at a group of newborn Shoobans, J.L. asked, "So, how go things in your great country? How is your family? And how is Skar?"

Helldawg smiled when JL told him of the girl's hatred of communism and love of Shooban hunting. "I see you teach your youth quite well in your nation, my friend." he said with a smile. "The family is doing quite well. My son, Maximus, is now second in command of the military, after me of course, and will soon asume command of our armies in Inkana. We're whupping the Sarzonians there, by the way. He's only a bit older than your daughter, too." he said with a chuckle. "Ah, Skar. I haven't heard from him in quite awhile. From what I last heard of him, he was experimenting with some crazy robotic technology for the military. He should be done soon."

Helldawg smiled when JL told him of the girl's hatred of communism and love of Shooban hunting. "I see you teach your youth quite well in your nation, my friend." he said with a smile. "The family is doing quite well. My son, Maximus, is now second in command of the military, after me of course, and will soon asume command of our armies in Inkana. We're whupping the Sarzonians there, by the way. He's only a bit older than your daughter, too." he said with a chuckle. "Ah, Skar. I haven't heard from him in quite awhile. From what I last heard of him, he was experimenting with some crazy robotic technology for the military. He should be done soon."

"That's great," J.L. said, grinning from ear to ear. His grin became especially wide and gleeful when he heard that the Sarzonians- his mortal enemies- were being defeated. "Maximus must be an excellent fighter, like his father."

OOC: Can I stil like...join?

"Indeed he is. It is said that over 2,000 men have fallen by his hand in battle. And he's barely twenty! Ah, kids these days..." he said, staring off into the distance with a smile.

OOC: Can I stil like...join?

Be my guest.

"Indeed he is. It is said that over 2,000 men have fallen by his hand in battle. And he's barely twenty! Ah, kids these days..." he said, staring off into the distance with a smile.

"Indeed, my friend," J.L. said, with a reminiscing, whimsical smile on his face.

Helldawg quickly got bored of the staring at nothing, and threw a javelin that he had seemingly produced from out of nowhere at a group of Shoobans, impaling ten of them in a row.

Helldawg quickly got bored of the staring at nothing, and threw a javelin that he had seemingly produced from out of nowhere at a group of Shoobans, impaling ten of them in a row.

"WOW!" Rinoa exclaimed, her beautiful eyes alight with admiration. "Could you teach me to do that?"

A series of black limos pulled up outside the palace(if that’s where this is all taking place). Ozzwald Spencer stepped out of the middle one, breathing in the fresh air. He had been stuck in his office for weeks, and was happy to be getting out. He was clad in only a brown shirt, a leather jacket and some jeans. The jacket had his company’s logo on the right shoulder, to.

From the rest of the limos emerged members of Umbrella's secret service, each clad in purple tux's with the little Umbrella logo pinned over the breast pocket, and each armed with a pistol, and if required they would be willing to hand that arm over.

Ozzwald began walking towards the palace, his agents following him.

A series of black limos pulled up outside the palace(if that’s where this is all taking place). Ozzwald Spencer stepped out of the middle one, breathing in the fresh air. He had been stuck in his office for weeks, and was happy to be getting out. He was clad in only a brown shirt, a leather jacket and some jeans. The jacket had his company’s logo on the right shoulder, to.

From the rest of the limos emerged members of Umbrella's secret service, each clad in purple tux's with the little Umbrella logo pinned over the breast pocket, and each armed with a pistol, and if required they would be willing to hand that arm over.

Ozzwald began walking towards

The Generalissimo nodded curtly and extended his hand to shake Ozzwald's. "Generalissimo J.L., at your service," he said. "If you would like something to drink, please don't hesitate to ask- er, demand- my Shoobans to get you one. If in any way you are dissatisifed with their services, please do not hesitate to kill them. Or, you could kill them anyway, for the hell of it. I often do." He laughed heartily.

Ozzwald smiled.

"I am curious about what a Shooban looks like in person. I haven yet to eat today, so I wont vomit on sight. May I see one?"

Can i come

The Count was sitting on top of the horse trailer with a big Cuban cigar in his mouth. He was just chilling and watching the other kill the Shooban. Death is death to him and he was tried of killing Shooban. He want something that could fight back. Something that was smarter than a Shooban.

OOC: Hey, RB can you check the martial arts school thread, please?

"Hello, Uncle Professor, er, Uncle Walter, er...what the heck should I call you!?" Rinoa said, sounding befuddled.

"Uncle Mickey if you wish," said the Professor, "Your sixteen aren't you, why thats the same age as my Lisa..."

He stopped and started from a new point, "I have some presents for you."

The Professor then handed over a long box, a small box and a square box, all wrapped in newspapers.

"By the way, where is your father?"

"Uncle Mickey if you wish," said the Professor, "Your sixteen aren't you, why thats the same age as my Lisa..."

He stopped and started from a new point, "I have some presents for you."

The Professor then handed over a long box, a small box and a square box, all wrapped in newspapers.

"By the way, where is your father?"

"All right, then, Uncle Mickey it is," she said, hugging him. "Pleased to meet you. And thanks so much for the gift!" She turned her head. "Dad, your friend is here."

J.L. stepped forward, grinning warmly. "Hello, Professor," he said. "It's nice seeing you again."

Can i come

Yes.

"All right, then, Uncle Mickey it is," she said, hugging him. "Pleased to meet you. And thanks so much for the gift!" She turned her head. "Dad, your friend is here."

J.L. stepped forward, grinning warmly. "Hello, Professor," he said. "It's nice seeing you again."

"J.L. you look younger everytime I see you," said Professor, "Either that or I am aging very fast."

He paused, the last meeting of the two men had seen the Professor recieve unpleasant news, "I have been trying to fill in the sleepless nights. In those nights one thing I did was write this."

The Professor then handed J.L. a relatively slim book titled, "Waiter, there is Shooban in my soup."

"J.L. you look younger everytime I see you," said Professor, "Either that or I am aging very fast."

He paused, the last meeting of the two men had seen the Professor recieve unpleasant news, "I have been trying to fill in the sleepless nights. In those nights one thing I did was write this."

The Professor then handed J.L. a relatively slim book titled, "Waiter, there is Shooban in my soup."

"Thanks, Professor," J.L. said.

Wolfgang Rico walks into the party with a bottle of wine in the crook of his arm. He sees J.L. and approaches him, "I'm sorry I'm late. Care to taste the finest wine that Basque Spain has to offer it is straight from the vinyards in Castilla."

ooc: *Kicks RB in the nuts*

You can at least acknowledge i'm posting.

I'll come to your party. It has been years since the Dictator has had one.

"May I kill a few shoobans?"

Asked Ozzwald.

ooc: *Kicks RB in the nuts*

You can at least acknowledge i'm posting.

*Clutches nuts, groans softly in pain*

Uggghhh...I think...you made...your...point...

*Passes out*

(OOC: Roman Republic, you can come, and Umbrella Inc Corp, feel free to kill as many Shoobans as you'd like.)

Maia handed Rinoa the RCR-41.

"Try it."

Professor Walter clubbed a passing Shooban with his walking stick, "Thats for being high in cholestrol and not wearing a decent hat."

The Dictator enter the Party in Ganster Clothes. He brought his M40A3 sniper rifle to get some hunting done. Before he did that, he headed over to the bar and ordered for a beer and a lemon.

He began dancing wildly and began waving his rifle like an idiot.

Count JWolf was still smoking his Cuban cigar and rest on top of the horse trailer. “Shoobans are to easy to kill, J.L.” said the Count “The first time was fun but the second time, it was some what fun. This time it is boring.” Looking around to find a real thing to kill, he asked “Got anything human I can hunt? Like a nazi or a commie.”

"WOW!" Rinoa exclaimed, her beautiful eyes alight with admiration. "Could you teach me to do that?"
"Of course, my dear." he said with a smile, whipping out another javelin and handing it to Rinoa. He then went on to show her how to properly manipulate the weapon's own wieght to provide deadly accuracy. "You try, child."

Maia handed Rinoa the RCR-41.

"Try it."

"Ummm...okay." She aimed at a Shooban and pulled the trigger, causing its crotch to explode in a gory burst. "Wow!"

"Of course, my dear." he said with a smile, whipping out another javelin and handing it to Rinoa. He then went on to show her how to properly manipulate the weapon's own wieght to provide deadly accuracy. "You try, child."

Aiming carefully, she waited until just the right second, and then threw it, causing it to impale a Shooban's head; the pointed end pierced through the forehead and poked out the back of the head, causing the head to crumble apart like a crushed pumpkin.

"Try a long range shot, there's a shooban hiding behind a bush around 2km off. See if you can hit it."

After the Dictator danced. The was dizzy. He began wobbled will walking. The told himself why not hunt something.

He walked over right next to the leader of Doomingsland.

"Whats up, brother!"

The Dictator laid down and unfolded the bipod. We his beer righ next to him. The aimed steadyly, and held his breath fro a good shot. He ulled the trigger and the rifle made a cracking sound.

"Got him!", He smiled and laughed like a jackal.

"Try a long range shot, there's a shooban hiding behind a bush around 2km off. See if you can hit it."

She whipped around and squeezed the trigger. In the distance, they saw a spurt of blood as a decapitated Shooban's head flew into the air. She blew away smoke from the muzzle and said, "Bullseye."

Aiming carefully, she waited until just the right second, and then threw it, causing it to impale a Shooban's head; the pointed end pierced through the forehead and poked out the back of the head, causing the head to crumble apart like a crushed pumpkin.
Helldawg cracked up laughing as the Shooban's head shattered into tiny pieces. "You are a fast learner, my child. There is much potential in you."

As the Roman dictator walked up to the Emperor drunk, the Emperor stared at him with some degree of amusement as he started shooting at things drunkinly. In fact, he'd just been doing the same thing the night before.

As the Roman dictator walked up to the Emperor drunk, the Emperor stared at him with some degree of amusement as he started shooting at things drunkinly. In fact, he'd just been doing the same thing the night before.

OCC: I wasn't drunk. You can assume I was drunk from your perspective. I lokk like I was drunk but I wasn't because I was spinning in circles while dancing, so I your point of view, I look drunk.

Helldawg cracked up laughing as the Shooban's head shattered into tiny pieces. "You are a fast learner, my child. There is much potential in you."

"Thanks!" she said, grabbing a baby Shooban's neck and squeezing so hard that its head popped off.

Immediately, over four-hundred chanting Shoobans surrounded her, chanting, "Yoos'a ki'd muh bradda, yoos'a ki'd muh bradda!"

She jumped into the air and spun around, doing a 360-degree kick that smashed the nearest Shoobans' faces and caused them to fall back, knocking over all the other Shoobans like dominoes. She then took out two uzis and began firing indiscriminately, filling the putrid creatures full of lead.

OCC: I wasn't drunk. You can assume I was drunk from your perspective. I lokk like I was drunk but I wasn't because I was spinning in circles while dancing, so I your point of view, I look drunk.
OOC:Ah, of course.

IC:

After that shot. He turned over and saw the Doomingsland King staring at him.

"What are you looking at." The Dictator looked around.

He got up and stealthly walked to another position to snipe Shoobans. He had to run back to get his 2 bottles of beer, 3 bags of chips, and his bag that has a ghillie suit in it that he left on the floor.

"Thanks!" she said, grabbing a baby Shooban's neck and squeezing so hard that its head popped off.

Immediately, over four-hundred chanting Shoobans surrounded her, chanting, "Yoos'a ki'd muh bradda, yoos'a ki'd muh bradda!"

She jumped into the air and spun around, doing a 360-degree kick that smashed the nearest Shoobans' faces and caused them to fall back, knocking over all the other Shoobans like dominoes. She then took out two uzis and began firing indiscriminately, filling the putrid creatures full of lead.
Helldawg nodded in approval of her indiscirminant massacre of those Shoobans. He was about to bust out his mace when he saw them surround her, but decided to see what happens when she suddenly spun around and kicked them all.

Helldawg nodded in approval of her indiscirminant massacre of those Shoobans. He was about to bust out his mace when he saw them surround her, but decided to see what happens when she suddenly spun around and kicked them all.

A Shooban asked, "Iz yoos Empawa Hewwdawg?"

Maia turned to J.L.

"Is there anything to hunt down besides Shoobans?"

A Shooban asked, "Iz yoos Empawa Hewwdawg?"
The Emperor, who had been fooled in this fashion multiple times before, moved his hand over the hilt of his mace. "Yes...."

The Shah unsheathed his scimitar, and then leaping into the air, he held the blade down and pointed it towards the head of a Shooban. The head split in half, then, the Shah swung his sword low, cutting a Shooban's legs off before pulling it back up and cutting a Shooban clean in half.

The Emperor, who had been fooled in this fashion multiple times before, moved his hand over the hilt of his mace. "Yes...."

"Yoos ki'w S'oobans, wight?" the Shooban asked.

(OOC: Translation: "You kill Shoobans, right?")

I would like to attend. Killing Shoobans sounds very fun

I would like to attend. Killing Shoobans sounds very fun

(OOC: Of course!)

From the Desk of the Prime Minister:

Generalissimo, my adventurous and fun-loving nephew from Denmark, Inge, wishes to attend. He is a master of axemanship and wishes to provide a demonstration. I'm sorry that I cannot myself come because I am under the weather.

Congratulations on your daughter.

Prime Minister of the Dubocratic Union,
Theodore Jefferson.

Meanwhile, Ozzwald and his agents had lined dozens of Shoobans up by a pool, and shoved them in. They began firing into the pool, enjoying the sight of the pathetic creatures splashing around as they died.

Meanwhile, Ozzwald and his agents had lined dozens of Shoobans up by a pool, and shoved them in. They began firing into the pool, enjoying the sight of the pathetic creatures splashing around as they died.

"You call that killing a Shooban," said the Professor, "This is killing a Shooban."

He then pulled out a chainsaw and proceeded to calve both a Shooban's legs open, while keeping them connected the rest of the body.

While the Shooban lay bleeding, the Professor pulled out a scalpel and slowly calved away at an exposed nerve.

"Now this can go on for hours, but in this case I suspect he will run out of blood."

The Professor then stood up and handed out scalpels, so everyone could calve tiny slices off the Shooban's leg nerves.

"No, we call this killing shoobans. But your way is good to."

Ozzwald responded.

"No, THIS is killing a Shooban."

Maia had a guard hold a Shooban upside down, while she flayed the Shooban slowly, peeling its epidermis off in one long spiral like an apple peel.

Then she threw a bucket of hot sauce over the shooban.

Professor Walter picked up his chainsaw and pointed it at Ozzwald, "No my way is right."

He then looked over at Maia and gave a brief clap.

"Although this is also good," he said kicking a Shooban into a suddenly materialised garden muncher, mincing the Shooban feet first.

Ozzwald shook his head and lit a cigar. He laughed when he looked at the parking lot, his agents had tied up a shooban's arms to two seperate Limos and were now pulling the poor thing apart at high speeds.

"Where the hell did that come from?"

Suddenly a T-125 Proletariat Main Battle Tank in parade paint (black with a red hammer and sickle on each side) parachuted down from the sky, crushing a tightly huddled group of Shoobans.

"How about this?"

The Professor suddenly put a barbed wire fence around two Shoobans and yelled out, "Fight to the death, he who lives will be showered in riches, the other will die in agony. Biting is the only form of combat allowed."

With that the two Shoobans began trying to eat each other.

OOC: Is it too late for me to join in? Can someone give me a terse synopsis?

"Yoos ki'w S'oobans, wight?" the Shooban asked.

(OOC: Translation: "You kill Shoobans, right?")
"Would you like a demonstration?" he replied in an annoyed tone.

The same plane paradropped a large tank mover, which crushed another group of Shoobans.

"Alright, J.L, as soon as this fucking tank is pulled out from 6 ft. under the ground (the tank sunk into the ground), we can go hunting with it, unfortunately, it may take a while."

The tank mover began to slowly winch the tank out of the hole, bit by bit.

~An hour later~

"Alright, it's done!"

The T-125, its tracks covered in Shooban guts was ready for action.

"Now, could you get some Shoobans in remotely controlled jeeps or other vehicles?"

"Would you like a demonstration?" he replied in an annoyed tone.

"Bit's doanchoo tawk ta I dat way!" the Shooban said, lightly shoving Helldawg with scrawny, twig-like arms utterly devoid of strength.

OOC: Thunder crashed and lighting flashed and... erm no
Pulling up in his souped-up limo... nah...

Ah here we go!
IC:

Walking up to the front gate, King Lloyd II gave a sword of infinity to J.L.'s daughter saying, "Here you go, may you slice hundreds of Shoobans' heads off with it, dear." Walking up to J.L. he said, "Nice place you got here."

Pulling out his Desert Eagle, he popped a Shooban's head clear off. "Heh, this could be fun"

3 guards leapt into the tank and began going a shooban killing rampage, shredding shoobans like paper with the tank's 2 CIWS miniguns and roasting them with the microwave device on top.

An aide came running up to the King and said, "M'lord, I just saw a massive gruop of Shooban's heading this way! They are armed with twigs, and pebbles!" "Good God!" exclaimed the King and looked to his left and saw hundreds of Shoobans heading in the direction of the party.

Maia directed tank towards the advancing Shoobans.

"Let's test the main gun out."

The main gun of the T-125 turned towards the advancing Shoobans and fired a cluster incendiary shell into their midst.

The shell blew up and incredibly hot pieces BB sized pieces of Octonitrocubane/Thermite heated shrapnel tore into the bodies of the Shoobans, lighting them on fire and causing them incredible pain.

"Fuel-air explosive shell."

The gun fired again, the FAE shell blew up, incinerating more shoobans.

A matte black helicopter appeared in the skies over The Generalissimo" party, and several shoobans, recognizing the personal gunship of Cash Hudson, screamed and fled wildly, soiling themselves as they ran. A long rope dangled snakelike out of the side door, and an imposing figure launched himself into space. With the surety of an expert, he slid down the rope, grabbing his specially tooled MP5 SMG, complete with smiley-face laser sight, from his back. With quick, accurate bursts, he downed five shoobans in seven seconds, and then let himself drop. Falling twenty feet to the lawn, he absorbed the impact like an expert skydiver, and holstered his weapon. A particularly adventuresome shooban attempted to strangle him with string of party lights. Flipping the unfortunate man over his back and onto the grass, Cash dispatched him with a singe blow to the throat. With a faint gurgle, the slave lay dead, his windpipe crushed. Cash Hudson turned his back on the corpse, acknowledged the cheering partygoers with a casual wave of his hand, and headed to the bar for a much-deserved whiskey.

"Bit's doanchoo tawk ta I dat way!" the Shooban said, lightly shoving Helldawg with scrawny, twig-like arms utterly devoid of strength.
Helldawg looked puzzled.

"Ummm, can I get a translation? I wanna know what he's saying before I kill him." he said, picking up the small Shooban by the collar and holding him at arms length, looking at him puzzled.

"He's saying 'Bitch, don't you talk to me that way."

Maia turned back to the tank, which was currently running shoobans over.

"Why thank you." he said with a grin, throwing the Shooban up in the air and whipping out his gladius and lopping off his head as he plummeted to the ground.

A military helicopter hovers over the field and a bunch of soldiers get out via fast rope decent. The soldiers are all carrying water guns and water balloons. "Hey it's time for a water gun fight! Enough killing these...whatever they are, test your skill and see how long you can last against our superior firepower."

The helicopter drops water guns for everyone assorted from little squirt guns to super soakers.

"Er, there are too many of these things running around for the helicopter to land, what should we do?"

The Shah lit up another Bolivar and then hopped back on his horse.

The Professor having started the Shooban's biting each other to death, had a money making idea.

"Place your bets. Minimum $100,000. Its either going to be ugly or really ugly who survives. Each will pay a returns of 1.5:1. This is a golden opportunity."

"Oh that was effective..." said the King, while staring at the smoldering Shoobans. He decided to show off a little... Pulling out a radio and dialing the Command Center, and radioed in coordinates "This is Echo, Delta, Niner... I want a saturation at these coordinates lat: 15.8673 long: 42.9769" With that a group of A10's took off from JIMA (Jipleastan International Military Airport) destined for a villages of Shoobans about half a mile away. "Ok everyone, we're going to have a little fireworks show in about 25 minutes" As he said that he took out a mini x-bow and plugges abolt straight through a Shooban's head.

Completely devoid of emotion, Cash Hudson eviscerates a Shooban with an egg beater while debating whether to wake Emperor Antonius I of Generic Empire from his drunken stupor.

Maia downloaded some music, pulled the 30,000 watt speakers of the T-125 to its exterior, turned up the volume to max, and then ran away.

Bone crushingly loud death metal began to play at volumes so loud, Shoobans' ear drums were rupturing and bleeding.