Unbuttered Toast
06-04-2005, 19:06
April 6
Margarine City
Unbuttered Toast
M. Mardigan
Scientists at the Margarine Institute of Technology are warning that peep flocks across UBT will begin to suffer cataclysmic losses. The importation of moose from ZetaOne is blamed. Some of the moose were discovered to have a mutant strain of the dreaded Meese Measles, which it is well known to react with peep physiology causing hallucinations, lethargy and is lethal 99% of the time. Were it not for unrestrained joy peeps receive from being close to moose, the moose wouldn't ever be allowed in the country.
When pressed for details the Director of Farm Technology at MIT Dr. Blar Ysynite was quoted as saying "The distruction wrought by the mutant Meese Measles will be far reaching and bad. Very, very, very bad to our precious peeps. We may even see the extinction of several varieties of wild peeps, perhaps even the loss of peeps as a livelyhood." Since peeps cannot reproduce outside of UBT the loss to UBT and the world as a whole is tragic. Dr. Ysynite went on to say "We are in War Mode at MIT trying to develop a cure or a treatment to this devastating peep plague." He went on to make an impassioned plea for any experts around the world in Farm, livestock, and infectious deseases to contact his office if they can offer any help.
When asked to comment the office of the Prime Minister released this statement, "This is a tragic day for all of UBT. The peep represents the livelyhood for millions of citizens. The effects this plague will have on our economy, society and national state of mind are not yet fully known. However, we will overcome this tragedy and try and save as many peeps as possible. The Prime Minister is in the midst of contacting other leaders around the globe for aid and support. Any rioting and looting will be met with harsh words and will result in a stern talking to. Grief counselors will be available at kiosks being set up across the country. When pressed for a comment on the effects this will have on relations with ZetaOne the spokesman had no comment.
This reporter wonders if perhaps the very future of the UBTR is at stake. Billions of butterbucks stand to be lost, the foundation of the UBT economy is the peep, there is no telling where this devastation is going to lead.
Developing....
Margarine City
Unbuttered Toast
M. Mardigan
Scientists at the Margarine Institute of Technology are warning that peep flocks across UBT will begin to suffer cataclysmic losses. The importation of moose from ZetaOne is blamed. Some of the moose were discovered to have a mutant strain of the dreaded Meese Measles, which it is well known to react with peep physiology causing hallucinations, lethargy and is lethal 99% of the time. Were it not for unrestrained joy peeps receive from being close to moose, the moose wouldn't ever be allowed in the country.
When pressed for details the Director of Farm Technology at MIT Dr. Blar Ysynite was quoted as saying "The distruction wrought by the mutant Meese Measles will be far reaching and bad. Very, very, very bad to our precious peeps. We may even see the extinction of several varieties of wild peeps, perhaps even the loss of peeps as a livelyhood." Since peeps cannot reproduce outside of UBT the loss to UBT and the world as a whole is tragic. Dr. Ysynite went on to say "We are in War Mode at MIT trying to develop a cure or a treatment to this devastating peep plague." He went on to make an impassioned plea for any experts around the world in Farm, livestock, and infectious deseases to contact his office if they can offer any help.
When asked to comment the office of the Prime Minister released this statement, "This is a tragic day for all of UBT. The peep represents the livelyhood for millions of citizens. The effects this plague will have on our economy, society and national state of mind are not yet fully known. However, we will overcome this tragedy and try and save as many peeps as possible. The Prime Minister is in the midst of contacting other leaders around the globe for aid and support. Any rioting and looting will be met with harsh words and will result in a stern talking to. Grief counselors will be available at kiosks being set up across the country. When pressed for a comment on the effects this will have on relations with ZetaOne the spokesman had no comment.
This reporter wonders if perhaps the very future of the UBTR is at stake. Billions of butterbucks stand to be lost, the foundation of the UBT economy is the peep, there is no telling where this devastation is going to lead.
Developing....