NationStates Jolt Archive

RB City, the Pest Control Company of Roach-Busters

In a televised speech, the Generalissimo announced, "Roach-Busterian scientists have just concluded an exhaustive examination of Sanctaphraxian and citizens residing in Roach-Busters and have reached a shocking conclusion that defies their imagination: it has been discovered that Sanctaphraxians are physically, mentally, socially, etc. inferior to the human race. They may even be on the same level as Shoobans! Such low scum shan't be permitted to exist. Therefore, I have signed into law Executive Order 521311, the Detention of Scum Act, stipulating that all individuals in RB territory who are citizens of Sanctaphrax or otherwise descendants of Sanctaphraxians, are to be rounded up and transported to detention camps, where they will either be killed or trained to be slaves."

Official Imperial Statement

Can't argue with science.

Official Imperial Statement

^^^

What they said.

We have roughly 5,000 Sanctaphraxians. 4,000 of them will be sold as slaves, for $10 each.

-Generalissimo J.L.

Official Imperial Response

We'll take half.

Official Chancellery Statement

Just what the hell is a Sanctaphraxian?

OOC: If I were to hazard a guess, I would say it would be a person from the nation of Sanctaphrax. Who I imagine will be very pleased when reading this thread! Or... not... :p

Official Reply:

We'll buy all the Sanctaphraxans for 50R ($100) each.
Department of Commerce

Official Imperial Response

We'll take half.

You got it. They're being loaded into cargo ships as we speak.

-Generalissimo J.L.

Official Imperial Statement

The Grand Imperium of Risban would like to purchase 100 of these Sanctaphraxians to put to work on a monument we are building in the capital. $1000 shall be wired.

OOC: RB, might want to re-word that title a little - just a thought.

IC: We are outraged that the citizenry of an ally should simply be exported to known genocidal regimes like so many cattle at a market. Cease their transport immediately - there is neither time nor purpose for negotiation.

- Foreign Office Communique

Official Imperial Statement

The Grand Imperium of Risban would like to purchase 100 of these Sanctaphraxians to put to work on a monument we are building in the capital. $1000 shall be wired.

They will be shipped at once.

-Generalissimo J.L.

OOC: RB, might want to re-word that title a little - just a thought.

IC: We are outraged that the citizenry of an ally should simply be exported to known genocidal regimes like so many cattle at a market. Cease their transport immediately - there is neither time nor purpose for negotiation.

- Foreign Office Communique

(OOC: It's supposed to be 'Generalissimo J.L. labels Sanctaphraxians "subhuman scum," but there was an error)

Yawn. Are you finished?

-Secretary of Diplomacy Chong Moua

OOC: The "subhuman" bit was what I was thinking of...

IC: Northern Fleet Headquarters, 10 minutes after the above transmission

Northern Fleet HQ was buzzing with frenetic activity, a stiking change from the usual fare of the week, resulting from the scramble alert coming from the MoD. Men and machines alike were aroused from sleep, mating together with extraordinary speed to allow thre Fleet to deploy as quickly as possible. Within 20 minutes, smoke was already drifting lazily from the funnels of a number of destroyers and cruisers, and within another thirty even the giant battleships and battlecruisers of the fleet were starting to make ready to depart, with orders to spread in a wide cordon when they proceeded north.

First to leave were submarines, departing singly from their concreted berths and slipping quietly out to sea. The majority of them were SSNs, kept in constant readiness by the piers, backed up by quiet diesel-electric subs. Behind the first wave, the SSGNs would depart within another hour or so. Towards the North, the surface vessels coalesced slowly into battlegroups and swung out to sea, TS-3 interceptors and An-71M AWACS patrolling lazily above with full warloads.

"Why? JL hand over the Sanctaphraxi right now. What you need to do is sit down and breath for a few minutes. Let them go and then negotiations will commence. Otherwise.......well someone might attack you. We only have yours and the people's best interests at heart."

-Speaker Haya of the New Monotheist Party
Majority Speaker for the Grand Moot

The Octagon, RB City, the Pest Control Company of Roach-Busters

Recalling the DontPissUsOffian's statement that negotiation was not an option, the Joint Chiefs of Staff arrived at an ugly conclusion: DPUO needed to be taken seriously. DPUO was massive- far bigger in size than RB- and had scores of powerful allies as large or larger. It was no idle threat, but rather a potential architect of RB's obliteration. Taking chances could prove to be immensely disastrous and detrimental to billions of lives. With that in mind, Secretary of War Lester Lindsey, Secretary of the Navy Terris Fitten, and the Joint Chiefs of Staffs assembled at once in the Operation Room.

Pacing before a map of the world that was tacked on a corkboard, Lindsey puffed a cigar and repeatedly clenched his hand into a tight fist, relaxed it, clenched, relaxed, in a redundant pattern he was only vaguely aware of, so entrenched in his mind was the task at hand.

"The Generalissimo's actions, whether justified or not, may have severe and far-reaching consequences," Lindsey said brusquely, his expression grim, all-business. Speaking tersely, bluntly, and to the point, he outlined to his colleagues the severity and gravity of the threat. "Whether or not war is on the horizon is unknown, but the possibility is not something that should be left to idle speculation. The time for action is now."

Sitting around a long, rectangular, meticulously crafted wooden table that was so scrupulously polished it gleamed like a diamond, Fitten and the JCS nodded their heads knowingly. No one spoke; they merely affirmed their agreement by nodding.

Lester took another puff of his cigar and continued. "Therefore, I propose we mobilize at least five Fleets around RB City, and have the Army, Marines, Air Force, National Guard, and Elite Special Forces on full-alert. We must not be caught off-guard; nor must we strike first. We won't instigate a war; but, if it comes, we'll sure as hell win it."

"Why? JL hand over the Sanctaphraxi right now. What you need to do is sit down and breath for a few minutes. Let them go and then negotiations will commence. Otherwise.......well someone might attack you. We only have yours and the people's best interests at heart."

-Speaker Haya of the New Monotheist Party
Majority Speaker for the Grand Moot

Their leader had the unmitigated gall to insult our government and our nation.

-Joseph 'Camel Joe' Ass, RB ambassador to Camel Eaters

Please deliver all Sancaphraxians left to the Parthian embassy in RB. We will pay $100 each for them.

-Shah Khosru III

Battle Group Roach-Busters, ten minutes after DPUO mobilization

"Attention on deck!" yelled an ensign as Admiral Julianus entered the bridge.

"At ease. What's this I'm hearing about someone wanting to interfere with our slave aquisition?" replied the admiral with a yawn. He had just been awoken to hear of the hostile exchanges between DPUO and R-B. Not that this was unusual, but the fact that a few minutes later, a satelite overpass had picked up the mobilization of their Northern Fleet had made the Brass nervous.

"Sir, these just came in from Mt. Doom. Might wanna take a look at 'em." replied his XO, handing him a manila folder containing satelite photos. Julianus took the folder and opened it. He flipped through a few pictures before tossing it on a nearby console.

"Alright, here's what we'll do..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Within a half an hour of his giving the word, six MV-68 Banshee VTOL transports shot off of the decks of the fleet's carriers. Each transport had enough room for twelve fully loaded Legionaries, but they figured they could fit about twenty slaves in the tiny cargo bay. The VTOLs, escorted by a fighter wing, would make their way towards the transport vessels and touch down in between satelite overflies and try and extract as many prisoners as possible. They would then fly the slaves from there back to the fleet and unload them for transfer onto a destroyer, which would then steam back towards RB. The transports would make their rounds as many times as nessescary and hopefully do so undetected. The slaves would then be unloaded there and loaded onto transport aircraft bound for Doomingsland. The cargo ships would be ordered to continue as planned, and hopefully catch the DPUO navy with its pants down.

This would be a painstaking operation, but a doable one.

Official Reply:

We'll buy all the Sanctaphraxans for 50R ($100) each.
Department of Commerce


So you can immediately release them? Thanks, but no thanks. Sorry, but we won't fall for such an old trick.

-Generalissimo J.L.

Please deliver all Sancaphraxians left to the Parthian embassy in RB. We will pay $100 each for them.

-Shah Khosru III

You got it.

(OOC: Sanctaphrax said I could have two allies and he could have two. Since you and Doom are already here, I'd like you both to be my allies for this. What do you say?)

You got it.

(OOC: Sanctaphrax said I could have two allies and he could have two. Since you and Doom are already here, I'd like you both to be my allies for this. What do you say?)
OOC:No problem. Besides, he would no doubt attempt a rescue on the citizens in my country...

Covert Un-Hackable Transmission to Roach Busters

We at Gadget Corporation have noticed your situation. We are willing to come and "Liberate" your Sanctaphraxi. We will release almost all, save ten, who will be used for cloning and testing purposes. Money for them will be transfered opon arrival. Awaiting your response.

End of Transmissuion

(OOC: I already have two allies for this, thanks.)

You got it.

(OOC: Sanctaphrax said I could have two allies and he could have two. Since you and Doom are already here, I'd like you both to be my allies for this. What do you say?)

Sounds good, but I was going to avoid war by offering the Sanctaphraxi citizens up.

((Heh. Think I posted it right after that post. Oh well))

Sounds good, but I was going to avoid war by offering the Sanctaphraxi citizens up.

(OOC: Aww, c'mon. ;))

(OOC: Aww, c'mon. ;))

OOC: Or I could just Impale them or sentence them to be torches for the Shah's garden party.

(I might join on Sanct's side.)

(I might join on Sanct's side.)

(OOC: He already has two allies. You could serve as a 'mediator,' though.)

bump

(OOC: He already has two allies. You could serve as a 'mediator,' though.)

Sure

Sure

(OOC: Thanks!)

Green Sun is very upset at RB's claims. President Hobo Bob is preparing a speech.

OOC: This might not go ahead, but I don't know; it depends on how some other things I'm doing pan out, so sorry if I suddenly pull out. I'll plonk up an IC post in a bit, I'm currently working for another off-site RP. BTW, if anyone wants to add me for this, my AIM's NuttyCrunk125.

OOC: This might not go ahead, but I don't know; it depends on how some other things I'm doing pan out, so sorry if I suddenly pull out. I'll plonk up an IC post in a bit, I'm currently working for another off-site RP. BTW, if anyone wants to add me for this, my AIM's NuttyCrunk125.

(OOC: All right.)

OOC:Can I be a mediator, RB? I've never actually participated in a massive war RP and it's an opportunity. Plus since Pac' is a neutral..

OOC:Can I be a mediator, RB? I've never actually participated in a massive war RP and it's an opportunity. Plus since Pac' is a neutral..

(OOC: Absolutely! I'd love to RP with you.)

(OOC: Absolutely! I'd love to RP with you.)

OOC:Thanks.

OOC:Thanks.

(OOC: You're welcome.)

OOC: Sorry about this RB, but I'm going to abandon this; I've got work to get done and various other RPs to participate in, so I'll pull out before we get involved. Again, I'm sorry to have got everyone wound up for nothing.

ooc: Is JL back in power in RB?
What I suggest is that since DPUO decided to pull out ( :() TIOR takes his place, as offered, and Yafor2 becomes our second mediator. The teams are therefore:

Sanctaphrax
The Island Of Rose
Kanabia

Roach-Busters
Doomingsland
The Parthians

Yafor 2

OOC: Whaaa? Meee?!

OOC: *tag for later response - too worn out right now.*

OOC: Whaaa? Meee?!
ooc: You said you would! *groans*
Fine, I'll edit and take you out, leaving only Yafor 2 as neutral. That might be a stretch though, as we've never really met IC, and he's a natural enemy of RB being a member of the Woodstock Pact. And the fact that he's my ally takes away from his neutralness!

OOC:But like you said, we've never met and if you are the one to declare war, the Woodstock Pact thing is taken out of the equation...

"Welcome to the nine o'clock SNBC news with me, Jack Darus.

We start today with documents released by the office of the Prime Minister Cowlquape Pentephraxis. These documents show the supposed correspondence between Mr Pentephraxis and Roach-Busters's dictator, Generalissimo J.L.

Earlier of course he decided to have 5000 Sanctaphraxian civilians, innocent men and women, and even children who have done no wrong killed. We have reason to believe that the dictator J.L is in fact mentally unstable, leading to his random executions. He also executed another thousand civilians earlier in the year. The given reason for the executions was Sanctaphrax's wish to cut off relations, due to the founding of the Anti-Communist Entourage, an alliance which seeks to persecute some of Sanctaphrax's most loyal friends, including Kanabia and The Island Of Rose.

During the founding, relations were cut off with both Roach-Busters, founders of the alliance, and The Macabees, who also joined the alliance. Relations with The Macabees are still described as stable. Roach-Busters however took it badly, and here are the documents."
He clicked a button, and on the screen behind him appeared documents, printouts hand-delivered earlier by an aide of Cowlquape.

"This is the first one, in which Cowlquape broke off relations, leading to this answer."

You, too, have been manipulated by the liberal monster Mike Sarzo? He too, is squeamish over the prospect of executing communists like the rabid dogs they are. In the past, I often had to suffer through his derivative, monotonous 'human rights,' litany. Now, it seems that you two have been bitten by the Red bug. My advice: point a gun at your forehead, take two shots, and don't wake up in the morning.
"In one message alone, he insults among Sanctaphrax's finest allies, Sarzonia."
He pressed the button again, and the next document appeared.
Communism has erased millions of innocent people from this planet, which is why they should be hunted down and exterminated like the filthy, putrid, disgusting cockroaches they are. May your pathetic excuse for a nation topple like a flimsy house of cards, you malodorous wretch.
"In this letter, J.L describes most of Sanctaphrax's allies as filthy, putrid disgusting cockroaches. He then goes on to express a wish for Sanctaphrax to fall and insults Cowlquape. Not only he is mentally instable, it seems Mr J.L is also hypocritical. In the next correspondence he calls Mr Pentephraxis a "dumb s***""
You insolent worm, how dare you address me as if I were a commoner! I am not "J.L.," I am Generalissimo J.L., and expect- nay, demand- that you address me as such. Show some respect toward your superior, worm.
"This is yet another example of J.L's clear immaturity, trying to raise himself above others by making demands and insults."
The day you find a Nazi superior? That's funny. Nazis, although putrid scum lower than insects, are still not as low as you. Every living creature on this planet encompasses your superior, worm. Now, go crawl back into your orifice, maggot, lest I slice your head off with my scimitar.
"This quote clearly shows J.L's malicious intent, and even hints that he may have plans to assassinate Mr Pentephraxis. Note the immature insults again. Next Pacitalia announce plans for peace talks between the nations, to sort out the clear trouble brewing. RB's response was to insult his one-time ally, Sarzo."
You really think I'm dumb enough to fall for that? This is probably a trap contrived by that monster Sarzo to capture me. We know how much he hates anticommunism.
"As for what the future holds? We have no idea, but we'll bring it to you first, here on SNBC. Don't go away."

ooc: Is JL back in power in RB?
What I suggest is that since DPUO decided to pull out ( :() TIOR takes his place, as offered, and Yafor2 becomes our second mediator. The teams are therefore:

Sanctaphrax
The Island Of Rose
Kanabia

Roach-Busters
Doomingsland
The Parthians

Yafor 2

Sounds cool to me. Could we have Pacitalia serve as a second mediator?

Sounds cool to me. Could we have Pacitalia serve as a second mediator?
ooc: Gladly, but he doesn't really want to! So unfortunately, no Paci, but if you can think of another mediator, by all means!

Also, I assume J.L was told to watch that news report, so I'll be interested to see his response!

((OOC: Willing to be a mediator if you can't find anyone else.))

((OOC: Willing to be a mediator if you can't find anyone else.))

(OOC: Sure, be my guest. :))

"Welcome to the nine o'clock SNBC news with me, Jack Darus.

We start today with documents released by the office of the Prime Minister Cowlquape Pentephraxis. These documents show the supposed correspondence between Mr Pentephraxis and Roach-Busters's dictator, Generalissimo J.L.

Earlier of course he decided to have 5000 Sanctaphraxian civilians, innocent men and women, and even children who have done no wrong killed. We have reason to believe that the dictator J.L is in fact mentally unstable, leading to his random executions. He also executed another thousand civilians earlier in the year. The given reason for the executions was Sanctaphrax's wish to cut off relations, due to the founding of the Anti-Communist Entourage, an alliance which seeks to persecute some of Sanctaphrax's most loyal friends, including Kanabia and The Island Of Rose.

During the founding, relations were cut off with both Roach-Busters, founders of the alliance, and The Macabees, who also joined the alliance. Relations with The Macabees are still described as stable. Roach-Busters however took it badly, and here are the documents."
He clicked a button, and on the screen behind him appeared documents, printouts hand-delivered earlier by an aide of Cowlquape.

"This is the first one, in which Cowlquape broke off relations, leading to this answer."


"In one message alone, he insults among Sanctaphrax's finest allies, Sarzonia."
He pressed the button again, and the next document appeared.

"In this letter, J.L describes most of Sanctaphrax's allies as filthy, putrid disgusting cockroaches. He then goes on to express a wish for Sanctaphrax to fall and insults Cowlquape. Not only he is mentally instable, it seems Mr J.L is also hypocritical. In the next correspondence he calls Mr Pentephraxis a "dumb s***""

"This is yet another example of J.L's clear immaturity, trying to raise himself above others by making demands and insults."

"This quote clearly shows J.L's malicious intent, and even hints that he may have plans to assassinate Mr Pentephraxis. Note the immature insults again. Next Pacitalia announce plans for peace talks between the nations, to sort out the clear trouble brewing. RB's response was to insult his one-time ally, Sarzo."

"As for what the future holds? We have no idea, but we'll bring it to you first, here on SNBC. Don't go away."

"Typical," the Generalissimo muttered, after the report was over. "God, damn, that was the most boring shit I've ever had to go through, with the possible exception of the time I was forced to read leftist propaganda as a youth in school."

To: SNBC
From: Generalissimo J.L.

Like all leftist scums, you are light on facts, heavy on pomposity, and rotten to the core with blatant bias and unsubstantiated claims. Calling me a mentally unstable dictator is not only offensive and degrading, but it is inaccurate. If I am the big, bad, evil man you portray me as, pray explain to me why the masses love me so. If I were so terrible, would not the streets be red with blood, would not my actions incite wrath and foment revolution? The absence of such conditions clearly and irrefutably indicates that I do not match the description your 'news' program gave of me. No wonder Sanctaphraxians are as stupid as Shoobans. Anyone would be a moron if they were indoctrinated in this head-game horseshit garbage.

OOC: Whoa, I didn't say I didn't want to - I just forgot what this was about. ;)

OOC: Whoa, I didn't say I didn't want to - I just forgot what this was about. ;)

OOC:Oh, good, I have Pac' on my side once more. *draws out a lightsaber and strikes a heroic pose next to Pacitalia*

((Should I leave or just add to the mediating side?))

OOC:Are you FT? This is a MT RP. So...

---secret letter, delivered in-person via. Kanabian Embassy, Sanctaphrax---

To the honourable comrade Prime Minister Cowlquape Pentephraxis,

We stand ready to assist you in any capacity deemed necessary, as you know.

However, the main purpose of this letter is to illustrate some worrying developments we have been tracking via. covert reconnaissance.

http://wwwimage.cbsnews.com/images/2002/12/13/image532914x.jpg

The above facility, situated some 270km from RB City, has experienced a curious surge in activity over the past fortnight. We believe that the facility is possibly harbouring a sizable chemical (and perhaps nuclear) weapons stockpile, despite its inconspicuous appearance, and the contents may be being moved to more secure locations.

This, coupled with increased military activity on their part, leads us to believe that it would be prudent to immediately ready your armed forces.

If you desire, the elite "Black Falcon" Strategic Bomber wing, consisting of KB-40 "Blizzard" Stealth Aircraft, can preemptively strike the suspected chemical weapons facility and any infrastructure such as bridges that may delay the mobilisation of the enemy in less than 12 hours notice.

In the meantime, we are activating our own reserve forces and raising the alert status of our regular troops.

Christopher Kotovesky, President of the Libertarian Communist Union of Kanabia
Xuan Nhem, Chief of Staff
Air General Mukhtar Asif-Ahmed, CiC, "Black Falcon" SBW